J.D. Martinez

Grey

AC Bringing The Juice To LA

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 206 Comments

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Alex Castellanos was called up by the Dodgers to replace the DL’d Kemp, so what’s this guy’s story?  He was found in an orphanage in Crete.  He grew up eating ambrosia, feta and olives.  He spent all of his waking hours either playing baseball or pooping because of his diet.  Oh, you mean what’s his story as in what’s his stats like?  He looks like a product of the PCL, which is more glamorous than a product of Greek economists, but just as dangerous.  As we know, hitting in the PCL is like hitting on the moon with an aluminum bat.  So far in Triple-A this year (21 games), he has 4 homers, 7 steals and a .361 average.  That’s being wholly supported by an inflated BABIP because his K-rate isn’t pretty.  He’s closer to a .270 hitter with 10-ish homer power and 15-ish steal speed.  That’s solid enough in NL-Only leagues for a placeholder, but I’d hold off in mixed leagues for now.  In keepers, I’d pursue slightly more aggressively, but he is already 25 and from his picture it looks like it’s a Latin 25.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Matt Kemp – Won’t return for at least 4 weeks with a strain in two different places.  One place is his hamstring, the other place is his ears from the high-pitched screeches of his fantasy owners.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Dan Pants

D’oh, Morrow Eventually Dies: The One Where I Mention David Bowie Nine Times

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball | 58 Comments

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Also known as the Bond movie no one remembers, and the start you won’t soon forget. Speaking of bad movies, remember that movie starring David Bowie as an alien in search of water who falls to Earth. I think it was called “The Man Who Fell to Earth.”  Brandon Morrow did his best David Bowie impression last night as he came crashing down to Earth, getting lit up by the Mighty Texas Rangers for 6 ER in 0.2 innings, inflating his ERA to 3.47.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Frieri Is The Guy

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 535 Comments

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Ernesto Frieri got the save yesterday in the 11th inning, but Downs came on in the 9th in a tie game.  On one hand, teams hold back their closer in a tie game in away games, in case they get the lead.  On the other hand, sometimes whoever pitches the ninth is the closer.  On a third lesser known hand that is actually a mitten on a doorknob, maybe Downs just came in to face two lefties and stayed in for Gomes.  On a fourth lesser known hand that is actually a hand spraypainted onto a dolphin, there is no fourth lesser known hand spraypainted onto a dolphin; c’mon, man, that’s just cruel.  On a fifth lesser known hand that is actually a giant hand-shaped pinata, The Sciosciapath is managing all of this, so if he sees Frieri get the save, Frieri could be the man.  If Frieri is out there, I’d grab him.  I still think Downs is in the mix.  Walden’s droppable outside of deep leagues.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Marco Estrada – To the DL with a right hip flexor injury.  Chubby Checker just shuddered.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
VinWins

RCL Roundup: April 16

| Our Leagues | 29 Comments

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The first full week brought more reliever injuries, questionable manager decisions, and batting slumps, causing much consternation in the Razzball world. Colby Rasmus took a lot of the vitriol, and was dropped in 10 leagues. He was usually picked up again, though, and started to heat up, finishing with 5 RBI and a stolen base.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Landin’ LaRoche

| Fantasy Baseball Buy/Sell | 727 Comments

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I don’t necessarily love Adam LaRoche. Or LaLove him, for that matter.  Sure, I’d like him more if he slept with a groupie then screamed, “And that’s how you screw LaPooch!”  But I have no way of knowing that, and thinking of LaRoche having groupies is like thinking people actually buy John Tesh CDs.  Though I do enjoy La Bouche — want to be my lover, be my lover!  LaRoche reminds me of the guy you have on your team that you’re looking to drop all season long for anyone that’s hot, but still gives you 25 homers and passable counting stats.  Strike that, he doesn’t remind me of that guy.  He is that guy.  Are you gonna wake up one morning and say to yourself, “I may have been fired, can’t make my mortgage payment this month and have yellow pits on my favorite t-shirt, but I own LaRoche… Today’s gonna be a good day!”  Nah, son, shizz ain’t gonna be that sunny, but he’s hitting and healthy and should be owned.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Hector Santiago – On the podcast the other day, I distinctly remember saying (in my high-pitched Jersey accent that actually makes dogs howl) that Addison Reed would end up with more saves than Santiago this year.  Well, la dee whatever, right now you should own Santiago.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Ray Gets A Stinger

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 102 Comments

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B.J. Upton went o-for-3 or one-for-four if you count him hitting the outfield wall.  You say unfeeling, I say how dare he start in front of Desmond Jennings.  I sat down to watch this game wearing my dress made of doilies with Desmond Jennings’s face on each doilie, i.e., my Desmond tutu, only to find him benched.  How dare you, sir.  In fact, I’m bringing out the douchey one word per sentence thing.  How.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Hamels To Skate Past Next Start

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 103 Comments

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Charlie Manuel confirmed Cole Hamels would have his next start skipped after an MRI showed he had shoulder inflammation.  But Manuel was wearing a wooden barrel being held up by suspenders so it made it difficult to pay attention to what he was saying.  Manuel then said, “When I ask for a straw, I don’t want a drinking straw.  Drinking straws are for 13-year-old girls!”  You know what would’ve been nice?  If Hamels settled all this MRI shizz before I had to set my weekly fantasy lineup.  Yes, this is all about me.  Here’s hoping Hamels only needs to miss one start and then can come back at full strength.  Though for a club that can afford to rest him and coast into the playoffs, it seems like a pipe dream.  But what about my H2H playoffs?!  Have I mentioned recently how much I hate H2H?  You got your marbles on the line and teams are resting their best marbles for the playoffs.  Marbles!  BTW, no one knows what that means, but it’s provocative.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 14 Ks.  From Rudy, “My DVR still has The Golden Girls from when my parents visited.  Oh, Estelle Getty, your delivery is prettier than Roy Halladay’s.”

Casper Wells – Has now homered in four straight games.  Casper was one of those cases where I saw him hit a homer and disregarded it, figuring he wouldn’t hit another one immediately.  Then disregarded the 2nd and 3rd homers too.   After four in a row, it’s hard to disregard.  He’s really not this good, I promise you.  But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s hitting the cover off the ball so you may as well grab him to see how long it can continue.

Please, blog, may I have some more?