Well, this is it folks. As alluded to last week, we have reached the last Saturday of the regular season, and therefore, have reached the last Saturday Daily Notes of the season. Obvious statement is obvious. To celebrate such a glorious occasion, I have formulated a thought. Incredible, I know! Me? Formulating thoughts? Quick, someone file estoppel action! Anyways, we’ll be doing notes like we always do, in that, there will still be the ever popular bolded and hyper-linked player names along side the world famous Razzball player blurb thing-a-ma-jigs. But we are going to go a little GIF heavy this time around. Why? Because I thought it would be fun. And this is my series. Deal. But there’s a rub here. Because brisket bro. Also, because these GIFs will represent the story of each specific player when it is used.
Now, you may say to yourself, isn’t this a cheap way to not do any work? And I say to you… maybe. But also, let me put it this way. GIF hunting is hard. GIF making is hard. GIF editing is hard. Achieving proper context is hard. All of this is hard. That’s what she said. Hey-ohhh. But yeah, enjoy the show. Or don’t. It’s the last one this season, so really, do whatever you want. After all, that’s what I did. Here’s what I noticed yesterday: Please, blog, may I have some more?
In last year’s top 80 outfielders post, I told you to take a flyer on Krispie Young, Delmon Young and Nick Swisher. Like the quarter of Harrison Ford that is Jewish, not too shabby. Then there was crap, crap, kinda crap and Jason Heyward. That’s what you’re probably getting late at outfield again this year. I’m no Nostradumbass, but I’m telling you there’s not going to be a whole lot of greatness coming out of this post. We’re Cousteau deep right now. So all the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings are found under yonder and we’re moving onto pitchers next. That should excite you, you special person you. Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:
61. Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know it’s September when I’m highlighting a guy that could possibly give you maybe one week of just slightly better-than-average stats. Enter stage left, Mark Ellis. Yesterday, he went 3-for-3 with his 4th homer on the season. Is there a meh emoticon? That’s Mark Ellis. He’s a big bottle of “Um, what the hey, I’ll grab Mark Ellis.” He is the guy on waivers that, even when hot, you don’t feel like the three clicks of the mouse to pick him up are worth it. I hear ya. I’m not exactly dropping superlatives on him like I’m Donald Trump describing anything. He’s now batting near .400 in September. Don’t make me tell you to grab him every day this week. Just get him now. He’s hot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Jason LaRue – Due to multiple kicks to the face by Johnny Lawrence Cueto, LaRue’s retiring. Cueto obviously misunderstood when so many pitchers said they’d love to face LaRue. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Bob Feller told a story about how he once threw 117 MPH while urinating. He went on to talk about Triscuits and where he left his teeth. When he came back around to baseball, he said no one’s throwing a 1.15 ERA, even that guy with no hair. Once again, the old Feller has forgotten more than you could ever know. To paraphrase EPMD, last night Ubaldo Jimenez had his ERA tooken. He gave up 6 earned runs in 5 and two-thirds innings. It’s no crime to be hit by the Red Sox in Coors and you had to expect the ERA was going to come up at some point. All things considered, he K’d 7 and walked no one vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In an unprecedented move, I’m making Aramis Ramirez a Buy after labeling him a schmohawk in the preseason. Crazy, right? Get me a constituency and a mistress, I’m a flip-flopping politician? I’ll run on the “No more new tuxes” campaign. Then when people elect me and say they thought it was a typo or a weird lisp, I’ll tell them, “No, I’m just not buying a new tuxedo.” I don’t want to talk up Aramis too much because I don’t think he’s a surefire stud. He is what he is. A 25 homer, 90+ RBI, .280 guy. This past April was his worst month ever. The next closest month of the last six years was when he hit .197 in April of 2006. In the last six years, he never had more than two months under .250 in the same year. Right now, his BABIP is the unrealistic .160. His career mark is .288. That’s obviously a far way off. I wouldn’t give my dead grandma’s broach to get Aramis, but right now his owners don’t even want him or your nana’s forget-me-not. You can probably trade a Brain Freeze and a schmohawk and get him. Check raise the bettor, cause you have alligator’s blood. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Kris Medlen – In the minors, he averaged a 9+ K/9. Last year in 67+ innings with the Braves, he had a 9+ K/9. I don’t think he’s just going to walk away with Jurrjens’ rotation spot, but if Jurrjens has a setback (that’s a lilliputian “if”), Medlen could stick around for a month or so, giving a mid-3 ERA, a manageable WHIP and great Ks. I <3 Medlen. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Now it’s time for everyone’s favorite game, Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers. Ding, ding, ding… Bassoon… Triangle! Triangle! Triangle! Cow bell! More cow bell! One last ding. In today’s installment of Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers, we’re going to look at some hitters and try to figure out if maybe the numbers tell a different story than their names tell. Anyway, here’s the latest in Fantasy Baseball, Fun With Numbers:
Player A – In 241 Post-All-Star ABs, 40/12/33/.232
Player B – In 190 Post-All-Star ABs, 35/12/30/.316
Player A is Raul Ibanez, Player B is J.D. Please, blog, may I have some more?
With more outfielders than G-Unit feuds, we take it to the top 60 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball. These guys may seem like they’re not worth the effort, but remember last year Adam Jones, Nelson Cruz and Justin Upton were found here. As with the other 2010 fantasy baseball rankings, where tiers start and stop are mentioned and my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 60 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:
41. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Julio Borbon has been running around like a chicken without its head or maybe Borbon is *pinkie to mouth* a Wild Turkey. Yesterday, he even hit a home run. The word out of the mean streets of Arlington was he’d sit once Cruz returned. Cruz returned. Borbon played. Natch! Will Borbon’s brilliance continue? Unfortunately, I don’t think so. He’s doing his best Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Much like a newly married female, the Blue Jays have dropped BJ from the active roster. Imagine this scenario. You walk into your fro-yo distribution job, say what’s up to your TCBY manager who’s twelve years younger than you, open up the jimmies container and proceed to flip them, one at a time, at your manager’s head. Timothy asks you politely to stop. You politely give him a wedgie. Naturally, he fires you. Then you collect your salary for the next year. Man, the life of a terrible baseball player may be better than the life of a marginal one who has to play every day. B.J. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In his last four games, J.J. Hardy has gone 8-for-17 with two homers. You waited and waited. Went for a dip in the ocean. Washed ashore in Finland. Smoked a bowl with some guy who wore only a potato sack. Fell asleep on a raft. Woke up in your kiddie pool wearing your water wings. And finally Hardy got hot. In July last year, Hardy hit .339 with 9 homers. Followed that up with a .294 August and 5 homers. I know Hardy’s sucked the life out of you with his April through June, but if he’s indeed hot now, and it seems that way, he’ll bat 2nd, he’ll hit some homers and a decent average for a month or so. He’s currently batting .232. That’ll come up. He has 8 homers, he should finish with 25. Will he always be as delightful as your Finnish friend wearing a potato sack? No, probably not, but he’s better than he’s been. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Raul Ibanez – Won’t be returning this Friday when eligible. No set backs; Phils are just taking precautions. For those wanting to say something derogatory about him, I’d wait until he doesn’t have so much free time. Please, blog, may I have some more?