Fantasy Baseball Advice

Some rejected titles were, “Cards Have Jon Jay, Rasmus Have Blue Jays,” “Cards Trade Rasmus For Queen Elizabeth-Visaged Cents On the Dollar,” and “Ervin Santana Threw A No-Hitter, Beltran Was Traded — Hey, Baseball, Spread Some Of Your Breaking Stories Around.”  So Colby Rasmus was sent to the Blue Jays, Edwin Jackson was sent to the Cardinals via Chicago and a whole lot of other shizz.  Let’s start with Colby.  Hey, Geiger, let’s go (to Canada)!  Rasmus will move into center field, sending Rajai to the bench.  I’m sure Colby will be empathic.  “One day we will write a song together titled, “Centerfield” using John Fogerty’s lyrics and music then we will sue him for copyright infringement.”  That’s Colby meeting Rajai for the first time.  Last week, I was down on Rasmus, in the non-sexual way.  Sick of watching him sit on the bench while Pujols farted in his general direction.  Now, much like a fugitive from justice, Rasmus has a fresh start in Canada.  His value definitely goes from a negative to a positive, Biggie.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edwin Jackson – Another guy that gets a fantasy boost with a trade.  Any time you’re going from the AL to the NL, I like it.  Does he suddenly become the meow’s cat?  I’m not entirely sure.  His NL ERA last year was 5.16, his AL ERA was 3.24.  All of his good years have come in the AL.  Yeah, he’s a riddle inside of a Sphinx testicle.  In deeper leagues or just mixed leagues where you need to gamble, I’d grab Jackson and hope Dave Duncan can do the voodoo that he do.

Octavio Dotel – To the Cards.  I actually grabbed Dotel for potential saves in a few leagues because La Russa is as predictable as the weather….if you’re not told the location or the season.

Jon Jay – Should now see the majority of the starts in the outfield…Hmm, actually he was seeing the majority of the starts in the outfield.  I’m sure La Russa will find a way to work Corey Patterson into the equation, and that equation for him is Happiness = CF – Rasmus.  Kinda cute how much everyone wants to now own (anagrams!) The Federalist, whose line is 30/7/26/.312/5 through 260 ABs.  That looks pretty yawnstipating to me.  As a 5th outfielder, I guess you can do worse.  Speaking of which…

Rajai Davis – 1-for-3 with 2 steals as he makes a last ditch effort to prove his worth, but he now becomes a late inning replacement in Toronto.  Unless La Russa is traded to the Jays.

Mark Teahen – Was traded too.  So he’s still in baseball?  Good for him.

Marc Rzepcynzki – Traded to the Cardinals, disappointing many Scrabblophiles who were hoping he’d be traded to the White Sox to partner with A.J. Pierzynski and make Ozzie Guillen’s head explode.

Carlos Beltran – To the Giants.  Beltran’s a bigger name than Rasmus in real baseball, but for fantasy this move is lateral.  Pitchers park to pitchers park, weak lineup to weak lineup, both teams have employees with monstrous heads (Mr. Met and Bruce Bochy).  Mets or Giants is tomato/tomahto or in baseball parlance Jonny/Jhonny.

Brandon Belt – With the addition of Beltran, sounds like Belt’s being demoted.  You’d think the Giants’ pants would have loops big enough for two belts.

Lucas Duda – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer.  Will now be the guy to replace Beltran.  It’s Duda’s day, camptown races sing that song!  The positives: as just mentioned, he’s playing.  The negatives:  he hasn’t done anything so far this year — 2 homers, 1 steal in 123 ABs.  In Metco, he could have 20+ homer power over the course of a full season.  I wouldn’t pick him up in most mixed leagues until he gets hot, which could be never or Friday if he hits another homer.

Daniel Murphy – 11 for his last 17.  That’s about as hot as a schmotato gets.

Mike Pelfrey – 9 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Geez, the Mets played yesterday like Beltran was Milton Bradley (the baseball player, not the fun for all ages one) — a tumor that just needed to be excised.  I’d continue to ignore Pelfrey, unless he shows up at your door with some imported beer and The Wire DVDs.

Carlos Zambrano – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks.  This trade deadline story made me giggle.  The Yankees went on record to say they have no interest in Zambrano.  “We’re not going to sit here and specify what players we have or don’t have interest in, except for Zambrano.  No, thank you!”  Maybe the Post can do the title, “Big Z-ero Interest.”

Rickie Weeks – To the 15-day DL with a badly twisted ankle or it might be… Duh-duh-duh… Ligament damage!  But I’m not a doctor though my handwriting is illegible.

James Shields – 4 IP, 10 ER.  Ouch.  Wait, what?  Oh, Jesus Guzman, that’s bad.

Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5, 5 RBIs and his 9th homer.  He came to be called Godzilla because of monstrous homers and acne.  Well, he’s still got the acne and lately some homers.

Joe Mauer – Hit his first homer of the year.  Now only three off the Pinto pace car Morneau.  Or the same number of homers a 40-year-old Giambi managed in one game earlier this year.  How can Gardy ever get over losing Nick Punto when Mauer’s power stroke is always there to remind him?

Alex Rios – The White Sox are indefinitely benching Rios for indefinitely sucking this year.  His current 52 OPS+ is in the running for the WORST OF season ever.  If you’re in a mixed league and held onto Rios this long, just say Adios Rios already.   The White Sox still owe him $38 million over the next 3 years so they’re left saying “Ay Dios Rios!” while they wait for the 2006-2008 and 2010 Rios to reappear.  Between Rios and Wells, if the Blue Jays ever offer Bautista and his $65 million contract to you in a trade, DON’T TAKE IT!

Alejandro De Aza – 1-for-4 with a home run as he started in center.  In the minor leagues, he showed very little power and some speed.  He’s just a’ight.  I’m not your babe, I’m not your babe, Alejandro.

John Danks – 6 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Hasn’t allowed more than two runs since May (granted, there was a DL stint in there).  Now would be as good a time as any to pick him up.

Ryan Raburn – 0-for-3 with a strikeout, now has a .259 OBP as he hit second.  You know he only hit second because Leyland always bats his left fielder (Boesch) 2nd and Raburn was filling in for him.  My theory’s holding true that, with the rise of cigarette prices, Leyland has been forced to use his extra lineup cards for tobacco rolling paper.  So he only has one lineup card and he just puts players in the same lineup spot as the player they are replacing.

Justin Upton – 2 homers.  He’s on one of those streaks that would impress A-Rod’s hair stylist.  You know, the one that frosts his tips.

Ian Stewart – 0-for-4, hitting .137.  Him and Chris Davis should go on a cruise together to the Bermuda Triangle.

Ichiro Suzuki – 4-for-5, 2 steals.  M’s must’ve worn their 2010 throwback jerseys.

Mike Carp – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs.  He really seized the day.

Dustin Ackley – 3-for-5, 3 RBIs, hitting .301 in 123 ABs.  Let’s hope he doesn’t ask Smoak for his secret to a successful sophomore year.

Paul Maholm – 7 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.  His ERA in May was 2.14, 3.13 in June and 3.09 in July.  That seems like enough time to pick him up, but his ownership is at 10% in ESPN.  You people have analysis paralysis or your waiver wire mouse finger is in a cast?

Garrett Jones – Hit his 10th homer, but Jerry Meals called it a triple.

Billy Butler – 3-for-5 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  Gotta like the cut of that guy’s manssiere.

Eric Hosmer – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and a homer.  Is now batting near .500 in the last week with only one game in the last 9 days that he had less than 2 hits.  After hitting no homers and .253 in June, he’s on fire in July.  What an odyssey for Hosmer.

Laynce Nix – Hit a homer for the 2nd game in a row.  When he rounds home plate, he should make the Y sign from the YMCA dance.

Drew Storen – 1 IP, 2 ER.  Kazaam!

Ricky Romero – 8 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  As frequent commenter, Steve said, “The Orioles got Rick Ro’d.”

Ervin Santana – With the no-hitter yesterday.  The Sciosciapath said, “What can I say?  Bobby Wilson just knows how to call a game.  See, I taught him everything I refused to teach Napoli.”  With no hits and 10 Ks, there wasn’t a whole lot for the fielders to do.  Maybe that’s a waste of Angels, I don’t know.

They tore down the Lebron ‘Witness’ billboards in Cleveland.  If only they waited a year, they could’ve changed them to Kipnis.  And pasted it in Kipnis’s face.  And, um, covered up Lebron’s body, replaced the basketball with a baseball….okay, scratch all that.  Who’s to even say this Kipnis kid is great enough for a billboard and a one-way ticket to Miami in 2019?  Let’s see what we know about Jason Kipnis.  In Triple-A this year, he had 12 homers, 12 steals in 89 games, a near .900 OPS and his last name sounds like something you’d find at the Passover Seder.  Almost every fantasy baseballer (<–my Mom’s term!) loved Chisenhall more than Kipnis.  I did too.  So far in the majors, the Chisen in the Hall has 2 homers, hitting .235.  That’s big to the whoop.  I only point this out because Kipnis is no sure thing.  He’s young, i.e. raw, i.e. except after C.  The one advantage he has to Chisenhall is he has more speed.  Bats can get lost in the travel from Triple-A, but you ain’t losing your speed, assuming we’re not talking about mules.  Because Kipnis has good position eligibility, he’s worth a flyer across most mixed leagues that use a middle infidel for the upside.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Orlando Hudson – Ran into a fence and needed to be helped off the field.  Orlando Hudson was like vintage Michael Jackson.  Off the Wall!

Cameron Maybin – 4-for-4, 2 steals and batting third for the Friars.  Now has 7 steals in the last 6 games.  It’s like he’s driving a DeLorean with Ron LeFlore in the go-go 80′s when everyone was on coke.  None of this Red Bull crap!  At this point, you have to own Maybin across all leagues until he cools off.  Also, I’d say he’s going to be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell but he’s here now.  No more Maybin for you!

Will Venable – 2-for-5 with his 18th steal.  Now has a homer and 3 steals in the last three games.  As a commenter was kind enough to point out the other day, Venable is a beast in road games.

Kyle Blanks – Anthony Rizzo was sent back down and the pushing-three-hundred-pounds Blanks was recalled.  Now all three Padre fans can go to the park and be like, “Why is there a Nate Colbert statue on first base?  Oh, that’s Kyle Blanks!”  Randy Jones BBQ stand in right field better up their meat order.  That’s not a solar eclipse, that’s Kyle Blanks letting out his afro.  Hey, Orlando, Kyle Blanks doesn’t run into walls.  He runs through them.  Blanks, “Who likes Kool-Aid?”  Okay, I’m a big fan of Blanks.  If you need power, he’s about as good as they come.  He was averaging around one home run every fifth game in the minor leagues this year and can do close to the same in the majors, even in Petco.  His average may not sniff .250, so it’s an all or nothing proposition.  Kinda like the difference between being in front or behind him at a buffet.

Javier Vazquez – 4 1/3 IP, 5 ER vs. the 1927 Padres.  Vazquez takes your trust and defecates on it.

Emilio Bonifacio – Has now hit in 20 straight games and has 19 steals.  That’s nothing.  His brother Charlie just snorted 5 lines and had sex with 2 hookers.

Carlos Gonzalez – Left the game with pain in his wrist.  His fantasy owners should be pist.  That’s injury problems for an Orlando and two CarGo’s in two days.  I would not feel good about my luggage if I was on a Disney Cruise right now.  Sounds like Carlos Gonzalez is headed to the DL.

Dexter Fowler – 1-for-4 with his 5th steal.  Job just became more secure with the recurrence of CarGo’s wrist issue.  Hopefully Dexter proves to be more than a serial average killer.

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 6 ER for the conshellation prize, which was more than Jhoulys Chacin could say with his 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER, 11 baserunners (7 walks) and 4 Ks.  Now the 2nd straight poor start for both starters.  Hanson gets the somehow-in-first-even-though-they-don’t-have-a-1st-baseman Pirates next and Chacin gets the Dodgers in Maybe We Should Sell The Naming Rights To Dodgers Stadium, How Does Dreamworks Stadium Sound?  Two decent matchups, though Chacin faces Kershaw.

Ichiro Suzuki – 3-for-4 to up his average to .265.  Is .265 the new .320?  Adam Dunn and Dan Uggla raise their hand.  Anyone else?  I think there should be a new rule that anyone who doesn’t hit over .310, 50 HRs or steal 60 bases can’t have their first name on the back of their jersey.  I suppose, to Ich his own.

Franklin Gutierrez – The Big FraGu stole two bases yesterday, but his average is .183.   After having stomach issues earlier in the year, he hasn’t been a regular on the field or on the pot.

Miguel Olivo – 1-for-4 with his 13th homer.  I don’t want to belabor this for fear of an aneurysm, but Olivo never hits one home run and disappears.  He hits four home runs in twelve games then disappears.  I provide the information, what you do with it is your choice.

Jake Westbrook – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Westbrook had everything going against him.  He was an unemployed single parent that could barely take care of his kids.  Then he got a job at a law office and single-handedly brought down a California power company.  Wait, those aren’t my notes, that’s the back cover of the Erin Brockovich DVD.  Westbrook isn’t someone I’d pick up with your team.

Ricky Romero – 7 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks.  RR Cool Jay (see resemblance to the rapper (or is it just actor nowadays?)) has been hit hard in his last few starts (13 ER in 16 2/3 IP), but with the Ks he keeps doing it and doing it and doing it well.

C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Has that weird Dempster thing going for him.  Mediocre reliever reinvents himself as a great starter.  Somebody make Kevin Gregg a starter!

Jered Weaver – 7 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Season ERA is now 1.81.  According to Elias, only five pitchers in modern baseball have had a sub-2 ERA after 20 starts.  Elias also said, “Our batting average with women who like baseball and math is under the Mendoza line.”

Grady Sizemore – To the DL with a bad knee and a sports hernia.  That’s what happens when you try to do a hilarious ‘knee to the balls’ blooper all by yourself.

Ryan Madson went to the DL with numbness in his pitching hand.  Hello, bullpen?  Is there anybody in there?  Just nod if you can hear me.  Brad Lidge is due back in a few weeks.  AHHHHH!  Now you feel a little sick.  Antonio Bastardo would be the immediate add for vulture saves.  That’ll keep you going through the show.  Come on, it’s time to go.  But that Bastardo is a lefty, so Michael Stutes could get some saves.  Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.  Michael Stutes could get some saves.  Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.  Michael Stutes– Your lips move but I can’t hear what you’re saying.  Forget it, I’d grab Bastardo if I were in desperate need for saves.  Unless you have become comfortably numb.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brett Cecil – The man who sounds like a 70′s Playboy pinup has returned from Triple-A.  During the preseason, I put Cecil in a tier of starters called, “There’s some upside here, but I wouldn’t expect anything,” and said more or less that Cecil was once considered better than Romero.  There’s signs of a terrific K-rate in the minors, the Jays have watched his innings well and he cut his walk rate last year.  Great, wonderful, fantastic!  Unfortunately, he’s still in the AL East, his K-rate last year was terrible and he was hideous in April this year.  And that’s me copying, pasting, liberally quoting and adding addendums to me!

Shin-Soo Choo – As I reported here on Monday after inferring shizz from other sites, Choo’s out until September, having surgery on his thumb.  I’d lose him in redraft leagues where you don’t have DL room.  What a waste of a draft pick.  Ah, Choo… Bless you.

Doug Davis – 4 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  The Cubs should reduce their DD.  It’s just sloppy.

Starlin Castro – 1-for-9 for the doubleheader.  For when someone does terrible on both sides of a doubleheader, it sounds like we need an alternate glossary definition for a player dropping a deuce.

Ryan Vogelsong – 5 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He’s totally charmed right now.  He actually gets hit in this game as he should be and the Giants score the most runs they have all year. (This wasn’t fact checked, but it’s probably accurate.)

Miguel Tejada – 3-for-6 with a home run.  They must have some great B-12 in Chicago.

Cliff Lee – 9 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks.  About a month ago, we almost pulled the trigger on a trade of Heath Bell and Pence for Cliff Lee.  With Pence’s injury and Bell about to be traded, could see that being one that we Mr. Bungled.

Jonathan Broxton – Will be out for at least a month and a half.  Mattingly said he’d consider it a bonus if Broxton pitched again this year.  Doesn’t a bonus come on top of something good?  Where is Strunk & White to let them know it’s not correct grammar to say something like, “My best friend is sleeping with my wife, but I’d consider it a bonus if he used a condom.”

Javy Guerra – He’s the guy to own in the Dodgers bullpen. (For that one save opportunity every month or so.)

Ted Lilly – 4 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Last time out, I said he was unstartable, but then I saw he was facing the Twins in the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome and I decided to give it a whirl.  Now, Lilly and I are done.  Lose my number.  Wait, he gets the Mets next time out.  Why can’t I quit you?!

Nick Swisher – 2-for-4 with his third home run in the last 5 games.  Looks like Swisher is finally playing as hot as those sideburns make him look.  Wait, what?  Umm… Awkward… Umm… Yeah, I’d grab Swisher.  In fantasy!  Um, leagues.

Eduardo Nunez – 1-for-3 with 2 steals.  That’s nice, but he’s not long for a starting job.  Pasta Diving is up and running.

Vernon Wells – 4-for-5 and his 10th home run.  Told you last week to grab him, then again on Monday.  Don’t make me keep talking about Vernon Wells.  Please.

J.J. Hardy – 1-for-4 and his 4th home run in the last 10 games while batting near .350 in the last week.  I wish I knew how to repay him other than sending him a giant cake that I’m gonna jump out of in my birthday suit.  And to think baseball players don’t like fantasy baseball nerds.  Pfft!

Zack Greinke – 2 IP, 7 ER vs. Yankees for the Bronx cheer.

Josh Johnson – Headed to see his old friend Dr. Freeze because his shoulder’s not 100%.  Hundred percent called and said it’s never heard of Josh Johnson’s shoulder.

Josh Beckett – 6 IP, 5 ER, 6 baserunners, 1 K.  A’la Nelson Muntz, “HA HA!”

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-4 with 2 home runs.  Now has three home runs in his last three games.  He won’t dazzle your retinas for long periods of time, but he does look like he’s hot.  Get on board!

Kyle Lohse – 5 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks.  His K-rate is under 5… C’mon.  Seriously.  That’s ridiculous.

Colby Rasmus – 1-for-3 with a home run.  Now has two homers in the last four games and a hit in each of his last five.  It ain’t Rasmus burning on the dance floor, but it’s a start.  Geiger, let’s go!

Jose Reyes – 4-for-4 and his 29th steal, hitting .349 on the year.  Haven’t talked much about Reyes this year because every time I look at him I think about how I wished I owned him on every team and it annoys me.

Jason Bay – Him and Beltran hit grand slams in consecutive innings.  Only took three years but the Mets team is really starting to come together.  Too bad they’re about to dismantle them.

Wily Mo Pena – 1-for-1 with a pinch hit home run.  All Wily Mo does is hit homers!  No, really, that’s all he does.

J.J. Putz – Gave up a run on Monday and two runs on Tuesday to blow the save.  His ERA is up to 3.12 after starting the month at 1.57.  Putz’s blown (hehe) four games this month.  I’d grab David Hernandez where you’re desperate for saves.

Chase D’Arnaud – 0-for-4 with a steal.  He’s now started three games in a row at 3rd base for the Pirates. In the minors, he stole 33 of 40 last year and 17 of 20 this year.  He can’t do much but steal, but maybe he’ll try and prove his worth and, ya know, steal.  In deeper leagues, I could see taking the SAGNOF flyer.

Kevin Correia – 6 IP, 4 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks and his 10th win.  Of course he has ten wins.  Why wouldn’t he?!  It’s Kevin Correia on the Pittsburgh Pirates!  I hate wins.

Alex Presley – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his first home run.  Will see significant time with Tabata to the DL for at least three weeks.  Yes, you should pick up Presley.  Now if only Fleer still did those novelty cards like Black & Blue with Bud Black and Vida Blue, so we could have an Elvis (Andrus) & (Alex) Presley card.  Or Fister-Moore.

Johnny Damon – Went 4-for-6 on Sunday and 2-for-4 with a home run yesterday.  Hard for me to give you much enthusiasm for him, so let’s just say he’s seeing the ball well and move on.

Tommy Hanson – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 8 Ks.  He wasn’t quite vintage Hommy, but it’s good to have him back.  (Even though I don’t own him…Why again didn’t I draft him?  Dah!)

Ichiro Suzuki – Hit his first home run of the year as he bats almost fifty points below his career average.  Wow, he got old fast.  He might be 52 years old.  See, I have this theory that all Asians look young up until 51 years old, then when they turn 52, they look ancient.  It’s the Law of Pat Morita.  Morita was young looking on Happy Days and under the age of 52.  Then Morita turned 52 years old, was in The Karate Kid and looked ancient.

Gio Gonzalez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 3 Walks, 9 Ks.  The Gio Grande is obviously no place for Marlins.

Rich Harden – Will be activated on Friday (and DL’d on Saturday).  I wouldn’t bother with him.  He hasn’t pitched more than 4 2/3 IP in any game so far in his rehab, which is hilarious to me.  “Just keep him healthy long enough for me to trade him.”  That’s Brad Pitt playing the part of Billy Beane.  Making room for Harden, Graham Godfrey is moving to the bullpen to the dismay of all the pitchers out there who can’t stand his loud, piercing voice and his penchant for roasting other pitchers.  “People think Brian Fuentes is a bad guy because he bad-mouthed Bob Geren.  They are incorrect.  He’s a bad man because he KILLED A MEXICAN IN A COLORADO SLAUGHTERHOUSE.  WITH HIS OWN HANDS.  HE DIDN’T EVEN USE THE MEAT GRINDER.  YOU EXPECT THAT FROM A KRAUT LIKE MICHAEL WUERTZ.  BUT IT WAS FUENTES.  AGAINST ONE OF HIS OWN PEOPLE!”  That’s Graham Godfrey.

The other day we went over the top 20 third basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball for our 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  Today, we turn our bejeweled eyeglasses to the top 20 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball.  The top twenty outfielders will need to go to a top 40 then a top 60 then a top 80.  Unfortunately, outfield is pretty shallow.  Guess outfielders come in waves… much like sperm whales.  Oofa!  What I found overall from ranking the outfielders is that speed’s back like the 1980s when half the league was on coke.  So, when appropriate, I tried to rank power outfielders ahead of ones whose value came from speed.  More on that in the post.  As always, these top 20 outfielders are broken up into tiers with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball:

1. Ryan Braun – See the top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball for Ryan Braun’s 2011 projections.

2. Matt Kemp – See the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball for Matt Kemp’s 2011 projections.

3. Matt Holliday – See the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball for Matt Holliday’s 2011 projections.

4. Carl Crawford – See the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball post for Carl Crawford’s 2011 projections.

5. Carlos Gonzalez – See the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball for Carlos Gonzalez’s 2011 projections.  There’s also a post coming later today all about CarGo.  You can hardly wait.  No, you!

6. Josh Hamilton – See the top 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball for Josh Hamilton’s 2011 projections.

7. Justin Upton – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to McCutchen.  I call this tier, “These guys will all be in the top 20 overall next year.”  Yeah, Upton’s washed up at the age of 23.  Good thing you sold that Apple stock a week before the iPod was announced, too.  If you can get Upton at a cheap price because of a sub-par 2010, by all means.  Everything is going to come together at some point and Upton is going to be a top ten draft pick one of these years.  2011 Projections:  85/26/95/.270/20

8. Jason Heyward – He’s going to give you what you used to get from Jayson Werth.  Can the sophomore slump kill him?  Yeah, I suppose, but why do you always have to bring up the negative?  His OBP last year at the age of 21 was .393.  That’s not a guy I think falls flat on his face.  For Heyward, I’d go all in, check raising to the bettor.  This might be the last time he makes it out of the 2nd round of any drafts for ten years.  2011 Projections:  100/25/105/.285/12

9. Andrew McCutchen – I can’t remember the last time I was this caca-cuckoo for so many Pirate hitters.  The Dread Pirate isn’t a poor man’s Carl Crawford.  The Dread Pirate is Carl Crawford.  Wrap your peanut around that and crack it.  2011 Projections:  100/18/60/.290/38

10. Hunter Pence – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Krispie.  I call this tier, “I’m trying to get some power in the outfield but it’s not as easy as it looks.” There’s actually caveats already in this tier, which is scary.  There’s only nine outfielders I feel comfortable about?  And a few of them didn’t even have great 2010 seasons.  Trouble T-Roy reminiscences over a deep outfield.  Pence doesn’t have huge power upside.  That’s his caveat.  The offense surrounding him sucks on the suckhole.  Okay, that’s another caveat.  He feels safer than others though because of his last three years and how consistent they’ve been.  2011 Projections:  90/25/90/.290/15

11. Nelson Cruz – Everyone knows Nelson’s caveat.  Their singing is terrible.  Wait, wrong Nelson.  Cruz’s caveat is he can’t stay healthy.  Cruz could probably hit 40 homers and steal 20 bases if he could stay healthy.  That “if” has its own solar system.  2011 Projections:  70/27/90/.285/15

12. Shin-Soo Choo – I really can’t believe these guys are going to end up as someone’s first outfielder in a five outfielder league.  There’s gonna need to be a lot of shuffling with guys on and off waivers.  So, say, you choo-choo-choose Choo, his caveat is he’s not going to overwhelm you in any category.  Nice solid five category guy without extreme speed or power.  2011 Projections:  95/20/100/.300/20

13. Krispie Young – His caveat is he could hit .230.  Like no foolin’.  Of course he’s one of the few actual 30/30 threats in the major leagues too, so you take the good and take the bad and you know the deal, Tootie.  2011 Projections:  75/25/85/.240/25

14.  Jayson Werth – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Bautista.  I call this tier, “The one tier I’m not going after in the top 20 outfielders.”  Now keep in mind, when I say I’m not going after someone I’ll still draft them.  They just need to fall far in the draft.  Actually, that’s not true of Ichiro.  I would never draft him.  After Werth signed with the Nats, I went over what you should expect.  The link is somewhere in the previous sentence.  See if you can scope it.  2011 Projections:  75/25/85/.270/12

15. Ichiro Suzuki – If you don’t know I don’t like Ichiro, I want to welcome you to Razzball.  Pat yourself on the back for your web surfing abilities.  2011 Projections:  85/5/40/.320/32

16. Alex Rios – It’s not that I don’t like Rios.  I could see him being the one player in this tier that falls far enough where I might end up with him and that’s what worries me cause I know he’s going to screw me over whether I own him or not and this is the world’s longest run-on sentence, yo, comma, holla!  2011 Projections:  85/17/80/.270/20

17. Andre Ethier – Not a fan, homes.  His name value far exceeds his real value.  25 homers is nice and all, but he gives you no speed at all and his runs and RBIs are obviously tied to his team.  If you were to offer me Luke Scott seventeen rounds later, I’d say yes and get virtually the same player.  2011 Projections:  80/25/90/.295/3

18. Jose Bautista – I already went over Bautista’s projections in the top 20 third basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball post.

19. B.J. Upton – This is a new tier.  This tier goes into the top 40 outfielders.  I call this tier, “Back into guys I like, but they’re going to give you more speed than power.”  Upt0n’s one of the few players I could envision being a top five overall fantasy contributor.  Never underestimate someone who can hit 20 homers and steal 40 bases.  2011 Projections:  95/17/75/.250/40

20. Shane Victorino – Victorino hit 18 homers last year and stole 34 bases and he’s falling in drafts.  And I kinda understand it.  The 18 homers broke through his ceiling, spackled over the ceiling hole then broke back through it saying, “18 homers?!”  It was high.  Fortunately, his average of .259 last year was actually a bit low for him.  At some point, age or injuries will catch up to him but until then I’d bet on another 12/30 season.  Could Angel Pagan also do that?  Sure, but he hasn’t done it every year since 2007.  2011 Projections:  90/12/65/.285/32

Went over the catchers, 1st basemen, 2nd basemen and shortstops and top 20 3rd basemen for 2010.  Guess what’s next!  No, not pitchers.  Read the title, man.  With the top 20 outfielders, a pattern emerges.  Steroids can be tested for, but Red Bull can’t.  There were only 6 outfielders to hit 30 homers and 2 of them were probably used at a corner infidel spot instead of the outfield.  There were 14 outfielders who stole 30 bases.  This speed renaissance is teaching Ron LeFlore how to smile again.  Since outfield is a deep position, I’m going to turn this one to 40.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Carlos Gonzalez – In the preseason, I wrote a sleeper post for him, put him in my cheap alternatives post and told you he can make mayonnaise out of sea urchin*.  (*I may not have said the last one.)  Did I push you hard enough to draft him?  I hope so.  Let’s bask in a season that was for the ages before we talk about how he’s going to be overrated next season.  Shoot, that bask didn’t last long.  Preseason Rank #37, 2010 Projections:  85/18/70/.275/20, Final Numbers: 111/34/117/.336/26

2. Carl Crawford – It’s the Carlos and Carl show!  Crawford didn’t hurt you in homers like many other players who provide the majority of their value with steals.  Still, push comes to shove and shove comes to ‘Stop touching me,’ I think Crawford’s overrated.  I want 40/20, not 20/40.  Oh, well, those days might be behind us, unless Braun or J-Upside can get their shizz together or A-Rod’s cousin accidentally bumps into someone with a needle.  Preseason Rank #5, 2010 Projections:  110/14/65/.290/50, Final Numbers:  110/19/90/.307/47

3. Josh Hamilton – In the preseason, I ranked him way above most ‘perts, if not all.  Here’s what I said then, “Never to be one to resist a talented guy who just had a tough year, I couldn’t stop myself from putting Hamilton higher than most ‘perts.  Is Hamilton still injury prone?  Dur, of course.  He’s still only 28 entering the 2010 season and he has big time talent.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #14, 2010 Projections:  85/28/100/.275/7, Final Numbers:  95/32/100/.359/8

4. Jose Bautista -  Went over him in my top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.

5. Ryan Braun – Did Braun ruin your team this year?  No, he just couldn’t be relied on to carry it either.  Overall, it was a disappointing year for first round picks:  Utley, A-Rod, Braun, Te(i)x, Kemp, Fielder and Howard.  Preseason Rank #1, 2010 Projections:  110/37/120/.305/17, Final Numbers:  101/25/103/.304/14

6. Juan Pierre – I agree that all the steals help, but when there’s a lot of steals available all over the league, they mean less.  The ESPN Player Rater just puts too much emphasis on steals, so, yes, this ranking doesn’t make that much sense.  Preseason Rank #40, 2010 Projections:  95/1/40/.300/45, Final Numbers:  96/1/47/.275/68

7. Matt Holliday – You can say what you want. (This is a free country in 49 of 50 states.  Damn you, South Dakota!)  You can say Holliday went for stretches where you didn’t want to own him and no stretches where he really carried your team.  I agree, but he’s the prototypical roto player where you just put him in there, forget about him and, at the end of the season, you have nice numbers in four categories and decent enough steals.  Preseason Rank #3, 2010 Projections:  105/28/115/.320/15, Final Numbers:  95/28/103/.312/9

8. Alex Rios – On June 1st, I told you to sell Rios.  Before that, he had 11 homers in two months.  After the sell, he had 10 homers in 4 months.  Before the sell, he had 16 steals.  In 4 months after, he had 18 steals.  .312 average before, .272 average after.  Yes, Rios was a huge performer for the year, but, in the final 4 months, he was just above average.  Sorry, I’m still bitter.  Preseason Rank #26, 2010 Projections:  85/19/70/.275/22, Final Numbers:  89/21/88/.284/34

9. Ichiro Suzuki – This is one of those instances when I don’t buy into the rankings that ESPN is giving me.  Ichiro murdered you in three categories (Runs, HRs and RBIs), was great in steals (which are abundant) and was good in average.  It’s a’ight.  Preseason Rank #11, 2010 Projections:  100/10/55/.330/25, Final Numbers:  74/6/43/.315/42

10. Shin-Soo Choo – He really is the younger, Korean Torii Hunter.  He’s settled into this nice groove where he gives you exactly what you expect to see and that’s 20/20.  Preseason Rank #20, 2010 Projections:  90/18/100/.285/20, Final Numbers:  81/22/90/.300/22

11. Jayson Werth – Werth will be one of the most talked about value changes in fantasy next year depending on where he ends up.  I have this sinking feeling that he’s going to the Padres.  Or maybe the M’s will kill another hitter’s value.  Or maybe the Rays will replace Crawford with Werth.  One of the more compelling things I’m following.  Along with the new Real World/Road Rules Challenge.  Where’s CT and Tina?!  As for this year, Werth gave you more or less what can be expected of him.  No more, a little less.  Preseason Rank #9, 2010 Projections:  85/30/100/.270/18, Final Numbers:  106/27/85/.296/13

12. Vladimir Guerrero – Hello, Shoddy Knees, my old friend.  I’ve come to own you in fantasy again.  And it worked out, so there’s that.  Vlad was one of those players that I didn’t plan on owning in any leagues, but he was going for so ridiculously cheap in my drafts, I couldn’t help myself.  Thank you, Vlad the ’97 Impala.  Preseason Rank #1 for Utility Players, 2010 Projections:  70/26/95/.290/3, Final Numbers:  83/29/115/.300/4

13. Hunter Pence – This season, give or take a few homers and steals, will probably be what you’re going to get from Pence for the next three years.  It’s good, valuable, worthwhile, yadda².  But I don’t think you’re ever going to get 1st round value from him.  No 35+ homers, no .330 average, no elite Runs and RBIs because the Astros aren’t very good with no sign of that clearing any time soon.  Preseason Rank #34, 2010 Projections:  85/30/100/.295/15, Final Numbers:  93/25/91/.282/18

14. Angel Pagan – Only completely out of nowhere outfielder to crack the top 20.  Actually, that’s pretty impressive since I rank about 90 to 100 outfielders.  Would’ve been more impressive if you ranked Pagan. Thanks for clarifying, random italicized voice.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  80/11/69/.290/37

15. Krispie Young – In the preseason, I said, “If Krispie hits a third of his infield pop-ups for homers next year, he’ll hit 40.  And if I were 30 years old in 1760, I’d think Martha Washington was hot.” And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #61, 2010 Projections:  60/20/75/.245/15, Final Numbers:  94/27/91/.257/28

16. Andrew McCutchen – Before the season ended, I was watching The Dread Pirate and thinking to myself, “This is a guy who is going to go 20/40 soon and be a top 5 overall fantasy player.  And I’m getting hungry.  Mmm…I could go for some Chipotle.  I’m gonna ask for more rice though.  I want to eat half my burrito and use the other half for a pillow when the food coma hits.  Wait, just because I was thinking this doesn’t mean I need to write it.”  Preseason Rank #35, 2010 Projections:  90/15/60/.280/30, Final Numbers:  94/16/56/.286/33

17. Corey Hart – Here’s another guy in midst of this season that I told you to sell.  I’m not going to break down his pre- and post-Sell numbers, but I’m sure I came out on top again since he trailed off in the 2nd half.  I feel like Hart might actually be underrated a tad next year because I’m not sure people fully trust him.  I think 2010 is close to repeatable.  Some less average and homers and a few more steals.  Preseason Rank #45, 2010 Projections:  75/20/80/.260/17, Final Numbers:  91/31/102/.283/7

18. Brett Gardner – I left Gardner unranked last year because when I ranked players in January, he didn’t have a full-time job.  The Yankee outfield was crowded and there’s was talk of a platoon.  Once Gardner got the job, I wrote about him in March as a cheap source of steals.  I don’t say this to defend myself, I’m trying to avoid the Random Razzball Commenter, “Grey sux!!!  Long live Matthew Berry!!!  Oh, and while I’m here, would you keep Gardner for 2011?”  Preseason Unranked, 2010 Projections:  75/4/38/.266/36, Final Numbers:  97/5/47/.277/47

19. Rajai Davis – Enter the SAGNOF portion of our program, which will be continued in the next post about the top 40 outfielders.  This is also where me and the ESPN Player Rater have major disagreements.  Steals are everywhere nowadays.  Steals are the new bacon.  I just got a steal and the season ended weeks ago.  I lost a sock in the dryer but pulled out 3 steals.  So, I think homers should be weighted higher than steals, which would move guys like Rajai down, but here we are.  Preseason Rank #40, 2010 Projections:  80/4/40/.290/50, Final Numbers:  66/5/52/.284/50

20. Aubrey Huff – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.