Yesterday, we went over the top 20 shortstops for 2013 fantasy baseball and today we (hint: it’s in the title) go over the top 20 3rd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball. We should call all the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings where in the world is Marco Scutaro and Martin Prado? Marco…Prado! It’s like the Italian guy who went to Asia and brought back knockoff designer handbags. Now, this is not that we like them, and by “we” I mean me, but due to their flexibility on the chart of 2013 fantasy baseball position eligibility, we can compare and contrast where they are to get an idea of how shallow or deep positions are. Prado was 16th for the 2nd basemen, 12th for shortstops and 19th for 3rd basemen. Then Scutaro was 21st for 2nd basemen, 22nd for shortstops and 24th here. Quickly we could surmise, shortstops are light on top, but bigger in the middle and at the end. 3rd basemen are heavy on top and in the middle while light on the end. 2nd basemen are heavy on top, but light in the middle and at the end. Or shortstops are big-booty’d women, 2nd basemen are Playmates and 3rd basemen are the zaftig, voluptuous, BBW or simply Billy Butler. So, that all sounded much better in my head. Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Twins said goodbye to Ben Revere, that troublemaker! (Not really accurate, but I’m trying to make the Winter Meetings seem exciting. Revere seems like anything but a troublemaker. Either way…) The Twins just couldn’t handle his gamesmanship and play-by-the-rules attitude. Makes them wish they could get back Delmon Young (they probably could; all they have to do is ask or simply put a cupcake near the entrance of their stadium and he’ll wonder back). If the world had a nickel for every time Revere caused a disagreement, the world would be in a deep recession. Coincidence? I don’t think so. Yo, Macro Economics Professor, I blame Ben Revere! So, Revere on the Phils is great for the Phils, finally finding that big bat to fill-in for Juan Pierre. If you graphed out Revere’s homers over the last five years side-by-side with Pierre’s, you’d have a big waste of graph paper. Revere’s over/under for power is 1 homer. His steals, runs and average are above-average, with the steals his biggest asset. His power is such a clusterfudgiethewhale that he’s nothing but SAGNOF and shouldn’t be owned for longer than a month or two if you’re lagging in speed, otherwise you will start to lag in power. For 2013, I’ll give him the line of 82/1/30/.291/45. Remember, my projections are a plus/minus two homers, so he could hit one foul pop 400 feet backwards behind home plate and get a negative homer. Anyway, here’s some more offseason moves for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Some rejected titles were, “Cards Have Jon Jay, Rasmus Have Blue Jays,” “Cards Trade Rasmus For Queen Elizabeth-Visaged Cents On the Dollar,” and “Ervin Santana Threw A No-Hitter, Beltran Was Traded — Hey, Baseball, Spread Some Of Your Breaking Stories Around.”  So Colby Rasmus was sent to the Blue Jays, Edwin Jackson was sent to the Cardinals via Chicago and a whole lot of other shizz. 

Please, blog, may I have some more?