One quick note, our War Room guy from last year has dropped out, so if you guys (maybe four girls) want a War Room this year, someone needs to step up to make it happen. I will take ready, willing and abled-bodied people in the comments. Oh, who are we kidding, no one here is able-bodied! I’ll take anyone, just comment and I’ll contact you. This is for the downloadable Excel War Room. Any hoo! With the top 80 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball, we are so close to the end of the rankings I can almost taste it! Wait, that’s not rankings I taste, I bit my lip and it’s blood. I wonder if when Dracula bites his lip it’s like when Cougs goes out with her friends and I’m left at home while Emmanuelle is on Cinemax. You might say to yourself, “Self, everyone is totally fooled by my toupee and do I really need to draft starters this deep in my friendly 12-team mixed league?” You don’t, except you will own guys from this post this year either from the draft or from waivers or your leaguemates will own them and beat you. Last year, in the tier of pitchers I liked in the top 80 starters was Aaron Sanchez (pitcher, not chef), Rich Hill (pitcher, not sniglets) and Tanner Roark (pitcher, not Tattoo’s boss). If you owned just them, you had a 2.74 ERA in 512 1/3 IP. You really still think you need starters drafted early? You throw in two earlier starters, say, Kluber and Gausman, and you have way too much pitching now. I’ll go over exactly how to draft starters in a few days, but there are so many ways to skin a cat we should have PETA breathing down our necks. All the 2017 fantasy baseball rankings are there. My tiers and projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
So, how’s everyone holding up without fantasy baseball every day? I don’t know what to do with myself! This week I wandered into a Starbucks and told the coffeerista about Aaron Sanchez for 2017. Then I sobbed into a cheddar scone until someone asked me to leave. We’ve gone over the final 2016 fantasy baseball rankings for hitters and the top 20 starters. This is different than Final Fantasy rankings where you rank Final Fantasy 1 thru Final Fantasy 15. That’s hardcore nerd shizz! This is simply fantasy baseball, we’re softcore nerds like Emmanuelle. So, there’s no more of these godforsaken recap posts left. You’re welcome. I, my over-the-internet friend, will be talking next about 2017 rookies. Anyway, here’s the top 40 starters for 2016 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:Please, blog, may I have some more?
All my fantasy baseball titles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though one is here to stay *sung in a very fast voice* oh, crap, nope, because I drafted Matt Holliday,
Oh, why did I believe in Holliday…day…day…day.
Suddenly! Jacob deGrom’s arm is not half of what it used to be.
There’s a shadow hanging over me,
Oh, it’s Giancarlo’s injured groin that I made of plaster of Paris and that just came to me suddenly!
Why the season had to go, I don’t know, it wouldn’t say… because it can’t talk, it’s a baseball season that ended yesterday…yesterday…yesterday!
Fantasy Baseball was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a mother’s basement to hide away.
Oh, I believe in yesterday…day…day.
*sniffles* Here, take a tissue. You have to excuse me, I don’t have any clean ones. What will we do for the next few months without an update on a Mets’ pitcher elbow? Does Daniel Murphy’s butt hurt or is he just butt-hurt? What will we do without a Bryce Harper injury update? WHAT? WILL? WE? DO? Prepare for next season, of course. But, first, let’s bask in the last day of the season. Today is the day when you realize you’ve spent 27,000 man hours this summer beating eleven other strangers to win a virtual trophy, and it feels great! Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Never in a million years would I have fathomed that my final DraftKings article of the year would start off touching on the death of one of the best pitchers that this generation has ever seen. I can easily say that–even though Fernandez was 24 years old–because his talent was off the charts and he had the numbers to back it up. This season alone, he posted a 2.89 ERA with a whopping 253 strikeouts in 182.1 innings pitched. That gave him a league leading 12.5 K/9. It was a somber scene in Miami on Monday night, but in true baseball fashion, an unbelievable moment was created when Dee Gordon–who came into the game with eight career home runs in over 2,200 plate appearances–hit a lead off home run and was balling his eyes out as he crossed home plate. As fans, we didn’t know Jose Fernandez personally. The Jose Fernandez was knew was the elite pitcher that was on the mound every fifth day. His smile lit up the stadium and clearly his teammates thought the world of him. Baseball is unlike any other sport in the sense that these guys are with each other every single days for over seven months out of the year. Unlike other professional sports, there are games practically everyday. The tribute was touching and well deserved, but this is a tough one for every baseball fan on the planet. Time will pass and the wound of losing Fernandez will start to heal, but he will forever be etched in our memories. Rest in peace. Thanks, Jose.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday October 3rd to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know how people write stuff on a grain of rice. With that in mind, on Rich Hill‘s blister this is written, “Took a whole lot of tryin’ to get up that Hill — R.I.P. Sherman Hemsley. I can’t believe I not only had room on this grain for an inspirational quote, but also room to attribute the quote to the wrong person and to also add in this meta comment about my inspirational quot–” Damn, he wasn’t able to fit everything. That’s the worst. That’s like when you’re writing a birthday card to someone and you start writing a note only to get to the end and need to start writing super-tiny and curved to fit it in. And that’s not the first time you’ve heard your curve is super-tiny. Rich Hill was perfect on Saturday — 7 IP, 0 ER, 0 baserunners, 9 Ks — but, to be honest, Hill has been perfect for the last two years (though only 29 IP last year). This year, 1.80 ERA, 0.96 WHIP with a 10.4 K/9 and 1.74 ERA over the past two years. So, ya know, your usual ace you get about 120 IP from. For 2017, it’s going to be hard to rank him much below the top 25 with the caveat that you’re only getting him for three to four months. Makes you wish rice grains were just a tad bigger to fit all of the superlatives on there for Rich Hill. Know what I mea– Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was a huge fan of the Royals decision to add Ian Kennedy over the offseason since day one (yay me). Kennedy is really a good fit with the Royals and he’s bee hot ever since the midway point of the year. I love him at home and I think he loves himself at home because well, it’s where he lives. Don’t be fooled by how “good” the Yankees have been lately because we all know what kind of team they are when Gary Sanchez doesn’t magically hit a ball or two over the fence. The point is, I don’t trust the Yankees enough to not pick Ian Kennedy if that makes sense. At $9,400, Kennedy may be a bit expensive but it’s nothing we can’t handle.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday, September 5th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend, I went to an Ikea for the first time. First of all – you are herded through the store on a specific path like you’re being herded alongside other furniture-buying sheep.
Bahhhhhh! That bottom left frame of Buster is about how I handle crowds like that…
Anywho, at the end when you pick your furniture to buy, it’s in this giant warehouse that makes the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark look like it’s in a studio apartment’s tiny closet. Ish is huge! And that giant warehouse is exactly how I used to look at starting pitching in my 10 and 12-team waiver wires through any given MLB season. Limitless streaming opportunities – sure some with more risk than others – but pretty much a starter widely available every night that I could feel decent enough with rolling out. Alas, it’s no more, with hitting making a comeback this season. Balls are juiced! And in that vein, I’ve been overlooking a lot of the “been there, done that” pitchers that have broken through, none worse than being slow to warm up to Danny Duffy. We’ve seen him have power stuff, but not hold up as a starter, getting meh K numbers in the process. This will anger people – but I saw him as a lefty Nathan Eovaldi coming into this year. Ouch! In more ways than one! But Duffy has been absolutely crazypants this season, vaulting all the way into my top-15 last week. And through this amazing run, he hasn’t even been blessed with a Pitcher Profile! This changes now! Here’s how Duffy looked yesterday afternoon against the Twinkies:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chad Green was out there painting corners like he was on work release and someone decided the yellow curb needed to be yellower! Green ball in the corner pocket is what he felt! Green was dealing like a sad-looking, poker dealer at a poker room that is badly lit, which is known for having great dealers! Green for the money, gold for the honeys! Yesterday, Green was the envy of the league, though not a shizzton happened, admittedly. He threw 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 11 Ks vs. the Jays. Because his name is Green! Nah, that’s prolly not the reason, but it’s an interesting thought. Green has worked well in the minors (1.52 ERA in Triple-A), and gets strikeouts (9.5 K/9) with his mid-90s MPH fastball, and cutter. At this point, I’d still rely on the Stream-o-Nator with him for shallower mixed leagues, but I could see a flyer on him in keeper leagues for a chance there’s something here moving into 2017. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all know Lefties do things different so I’m going to go off script today and do it like a Lefty. Instead of one featured pitcher I’m pulling a Trifecta and going with Tres Zurdos (or Three Lefties in case you don’t know basic Spanish). First up is my numero uno for the night, Robbie Ray, $9,600 vs the Mets. I don’t typically endorse a pitcher in Coors Jr, but the Mets have been awful vs LHP. Their offense is batting .221 in the month of August and their in the bottom 3 in offensive stats vs LHP. If Ray is smart he’ll avoid Wilmer Flores and Neil Walker to cruise to an easy victory with at least 7 Ks. Drew Smyly, $9,000 vs San Diego is SON’s top pick tonight, so I’m not venturing too far from a sure thing. The human emoticon got roughed up pretty bad for a month straight giving up 25 ER’s over six starts, but after a recent software update he’s turned his frown upside down and has been all smiles since. Over his last four starts he’s had 29 Ks in 25 innings to go along with a 2.52 ERA. The Padres are on the home stretch of a lengthy East Coast road trip, so I’m taking advantage of a weak offensive team who’s ready to pack it in and call it a night. The final Zurdo on my list is a Smyly’s former teammate Matt Moore, $8,800 vs Pittsburgh. Here’s another struggling offense that’s been lost for the first two weeks of August. Their offense prowess is not existent with Starling Marte nursing a back injury, Andrew McCutchen struggling and they’re hitting a paltry .214 in August. He hasn’t made a home start yet, but Moore has been solid since the trade with 14 Ks over 12 innings. His home debut is all set up for dominance, if he can limit the walks and find his command he’ll be one of the top scorers tonight.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Don’t be a hader. Don’t hade the player, hade the game. Hader. Hader. Hader alligator. Alright, well maybe that last one was a bit of a stretch, but far be it from me to give it the old college try. What have I got to lose, two of my remaining eight readers? Based on the metrics available to me it seems I lost about thirty percent of my followers after I posted that article comparing Julio Urias’s eye to Sloth’s from The Goonies. If you serve it up on a silver platter you better believe I’m going to gobble it up like a bag of Doritos after a session with Tim Lincecum. Besides, that one was like hitting the ball off of a tee. Since that post I’ve been trying to figure out how I can lose another thirty percent while still providing some valuable fantasy baseball advice. Enter Josh Hader, the minor league pitcher for Milwaukee. There’s no pussy footing around it, this guy is not handsome. Talk about getting beat by the ugly stick. This guy fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down. He’s so ugly he makes Willie MgGee look good. He’s so ugly his manager insists that he wear a catchers mask at all times. He looks like Randy Johnson had a baby with Jorge Cantu and that baby had a baby with Pascual Perez. You don’t have to tell me that it’s wrong to poke fun at something another cannot control, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to. Besides, it’s not like I’m making this sh!t up.Please, blog, may I have some more?