Fantasy Baseball Advice

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2010 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2010 Astros Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Crawfish Boxes.

1) Brandon Lyon, Matt Lindstrom or Door Number 3?  Who’s going to be the closer for the majority of 2010 and what kind of numbers do you see them putting up?

Despite the gaudy contract he just signed (3 yr/$15 million) I don’t think that Brandon Lyon will end up closing that many games for the Astros. He is, as much as I and fellow Astro fans may want to deny, a slightly above average relief pitcher. He if plenty good enough to be a solid set up man, but ill suited in my estimation to be our regular closer.

Matt Lindstrom entered 2009 as the gas tossing Marlin closer. After injuring himself at the World Baseball Classic, Lindstrom never achieved the sort of success in South Florida that the Fish would have liked. A year later, Lindstrom isn’t penciled in as the Astros’ closer, but he is in the running. A 100 mph fastball and a decent slider are what Lindstrom offers.

Bottom line though, Lindstrom has never finished a ML season as a closer, and Lyon has had mixed results in the role. Doors 3 (Alberto Arias), 4 (Jeff Fulchino), or 5 (Samuel Gervacio) may have to be opened by season’s end. This might not be a bad thing, however, as all five have their strong points and offer the Astros an enviable amount of depth at the back end of the bullpen.

2) In the last two weeks of 2009, J.R. Towles hit 2 homers and batted over .400.  Before that, he was a Morganna-sized bust.  Can he finally breakout in 2010?

Wow! A Morganna reference! I’m 24, so you’re lucky I caught the reference. Anyways, J.R. Towles has amassed a grand total of 234 major league at bats in his entire career. So, it’s pretty unfair to call him a bust. That being said, J.R. is an athletic catcher who is very capable of being a 10 HR/10 SB guy if given the necessary at bats. He’s shown the willingness to walk in the minors, and hopefully that skill translates if given the opportunity in Houston. Sadly (for Towles), scouts believe 2008 first round draft pick Jason Castro is almost ready for full time action, so Towles may have to show his stuff early in 2010 for either a back up slot with the Astros once Castro is called up or possibly for a job with another club.

3) Hunter Pence turns 27 this year and looks on the verge of a breakout that even Ed Wade can’t stop.  What kind of year can he put up?  35 homers, 15 steals?  30/10?  Hopefully something better than Pedro Feliz?

I’m going to hold off on the 35 HR prediction, but 25 HR, 15 steals and a better BB:K ratio than in 2009 could certainly be in order. Couple his offense with his stellar defense in right field, and Pence is a slightly below All Star level talent who the Astros are happy to have in the lineup.

4) Last year, Carlos Lee and Lance Berkman seemed to begin their descent over the hill.  Can they slam on the brakes and be top tier hitters again in 2010?

While both players are in their mid-30s, and both hit for a good bit of power, their games are fairly distinct from one another. Lance is a more patient hitter who is more helpful than a bag of sand on defense. Carlos is an unmotivated, high contact, low K, professional hitter in the Matt Stairs mold. Lance should be able to be a productive hitter for as long as he wants to play (and if you read between the lines with Lance, that may not be past his current contract). Carlos’ skills don’t translate well into old age, so Astros fans should hope Lee is able to hold on for as long as possible…at least until an AL club in need of a DH gets greedy and takes on his contract.

5) Tommy Manzella sounds like he should be in culinary school and Jeff Keppinger is the answer to the question, “Who is Brett Myers giving a wedgie to?”  So what becomes of shortstop?  Can Manzella offer anything besides a delicious Chicken Parm?

Chef Manzella is set to prepare a feast for the city of Houston this summer:

As an appetizer, Manzella will offer up quick hands and feet paired with an accurate throwing arm.

For the main course, Chef has been working hard on honing his batting stroke and toughening up for the long haul of a 162 game season.

And for dessert (everybody’s favorite), Tommy accents a slightly older vintage of player at third base (Pedro Feliz), giving the Astros the sort of defense that will save runs left and right.

All for an affordable price of….league minimum.

Jeff Keppinger was a pleasant surprise in 2009, and should get plenty of at bats in 2010 at 2B, SS and 3B. If not striking out was a game….he..um…would be good at it.

After the top 20 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here?  The top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball.  That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome.  Wanna hear something even awesomier?  I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80.  Hopefully I don’t blow my amp.  The hardest part about writing these 2010 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening.  Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know?  Actually, when I point it out, it gets more clerical.  As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:

20. Shin-Soo Choo – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Span.  I call this tier, “Speed threats with weak power.”  As mentioned aforely, this entire tier could be above the “Power threats with weak speed” tier that ended the top 20 outfielders post.  Depends on how you’re building a team.  Okay, now on Choo.  I love that when I search a baseball site for Choo I find Choo Freeman listed first.  Choo Freeman’s getting some Jennie-O turkey for that one.  The non-Freeman, Choo had a bit of a ridunkiculous BABIP.  Don’t know what that’s all about.  The fellas over at Fangraphs hinted that Choo’s choo-choosing where the ball is going with telekinesis.  Nice, when they do a Broadway adaptation of Zapped, Choo can play the Baio role.  Assuming Choo keeps placing line drives between fielders with nothing more than a constipated-looking stare, he should maintain his average.  2010 Projections:  90/18/100/.285/20

21. Bobby Abreu – There’s a few guarantees in life, death, taxes and Bobby Abreu hitting 15 homers.  Yet, he’s a tapestry of different numbers as far as how many steals he’s going to get.  If you had a three-sided coin that had the number twenty, twenty-five and thirty each on a different side then flipped it in the air… Well, I don’t know how a three-sided coin would even land so I got lost in my own example.  2010 Projections:  95/15/100/.300/20

22. Shane Victorino – The Crapolanco trade to the Phillies doesn’t help Victorino’s value as far as Runs, but he’s solid in other categories.  Plus, we can always hope for an injury to the usually durable Crapolanco.  2010 Projections:  75/12/85/.290/30

23. Ben Zobrist – Zobrist’s projections are in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.

24. Denard Span – His caught stealings last year are a little disconcerting (10 times in 33 attempts), but I think he can potentially sneak in 12 homers.  2010 Projections:  100/10/70/.300/22

25. Alfonso Soriano – This is a new tier.  This is a two person tier.  This doode and Rios.  I call this tier, “Reclamation projects.” Obviously last year Soriano sucked on the suckhole for the better part of the year.  Maybe his Latin 34 is finally catching up to him.  Wouldn’t surprise me to see him nose dive in 2010.  He only hit 13 homers last year against clubs not named the Astros.  His speed is not what it once was.  I don’t think arthroscopic knee surgery’s going to be the answer to that.  Wow, I’m really selling this bounce back, huh?  The reality of The Situation™ is that there’s question marks with all of these guys.  Soriano can still hit 25+ homers and steal 10+ bags.  2010 Projections:  70/25/85/.270/12

26. Alex Rios – Prepare for another lukewarm sales pitch.  Rios’s BABIP last year was almost fifty points off his career average.  So, say he hit .280 last year with the Runs and RBIs that comes with those extra hits.  Now imagine he still hit the 17 homers and stole the 24 bases.  Still  disappointing, but less so.  Almost convincing, huh?  2010 Projections:  85/19/70/.275/22

27. Carlos Lee – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to McLouth.  I call this tier, “This is your father’s fantasy baseball outfield.”  This tier is compromised of the oldies but goodies or, perhaps more aptly, oldies and were goodies that may or may not be that goodie anymore.  In 2007, Lee hit 32 homers; in 2008, he hit 28, then last year he put up 26 homers.  Um, bad trend.  If he can reverse that, oh goodie!  2010 Projections:  65/27/100/.300/5

28. Manny Ramirez – Outside of an insane 2nd half in 2008, Manny really hasn’t been that good in a while.  Name value is making him seem like more than Cuddyer.  2010 Projections:  85/28/100/.300

29. Torii Hunter – Double I is like an Elizabeth Vargas stalker… Always near 20/20.  Thank you, Jay Leno!  2010 Projections:  75/23/85/.275/17

30. Carlos Beltran – Was a real battle trying to rank Beltran.  I really need to hear more news on his knee and see how he’s progressing.  This is tentatively where I’d start to look at him.  2010 Projections:  70/20/80/.280/12

31. Raul Ibanez – If it wasn’t for his home park playing like a wiffle ball stadium, I would’ve dropped him further because of his 2nd half.  Since I think my buck-fifty frame could hit 25 homers in Citizen’s Bank, I’m willing to give Ibanez the benefit of the doubt.  2010 Projections:  85/27/100/.270/3

32. Johnny Damon – He’s like the Brian Roberts of the outfield.  Homers go up, steals go down.  Steals go up, homers go down.  Put it together, Damon, your time is running out.  2010 Projections:  100/20/75/.290/15

33. Nate McLouth – Torii minus fifteen points on average or CarGo with no upside.  It’s okay, but if you have an erection for longer than ten minutes after drafting McLouth, you should seek immediate medical attention.  2010 Projections:  95/20/75/.260/20

34. Hunter Pence -This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Reimold.  I call this tier, “I wanted to rank all of these guys higher.”  I.e., I like the guys in this tier.  They’re not slam dunks, but to varying degrees I’m very excited about them.  Do I want an outfield of, say, Pence, Bruce and Reimold?  No, not at all.  That’s too much of a good thing.  That good thing being upside. re: Pence; he’s going to be the magical 27 years old in 2010 when baseball players don a green hat similar to one seen in Leprechaun: In The Hood and their power reaches its peak.  A big season is in store.  2010 Projections:  85/30/100/.295/15

35. Andrew McCutchen – Yes, in the tier of guys I’m gunning for is an Astro, a Pirate, a Red and an Oriole.  Ugh, this means I’m gonna have to watch these teams during the season.  Alas, we’ll save that setback for the season.  Check it, some of the things you just can’t figure.  Why is Victorino ranked above The Dread Pirate when their projections are near-identical?  Because, for three years in a row, Victorino has already done what The Dread Pirate could do.  McCutchen is the brand new model, the 2010 Victorino.  2010 Projections:  90/15/60/.280/30

36. Jay Bruce -  As Master Gee would say, “Well, it’s on on on on on on on on.”   Went over my Jay Bruce fantasy already.  I like, friend.  I’m practically daffy for him.  Do I like him as much as Bill James who projected him for 38 homers and 10 steals?  Only Bruce’s Mom loves him that much.  2010 Projections:  80/30/95/.270/7

37. Carlos Gonzalez – He’ll probably only give you McLouth numbers, so please keep expectations in check.  Okay, enough of that.  He’s going to be awesome!!!!! (Extra exclamation marks were texted in by my twelve year old niece.)  2010 Projections:  85/18/70/.275/20

38. Nolan Reimold – Has 10 steal speed, 25 homer power, should hit around .290… Holy crap, Markakis is a Russian nesting doll and inside him is Reimold!  (For further reading on my Reimold fantasy.)  2010 Projections:  85/25/95/.290/10

39. Garrett Jones -  Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball post.  2010 Projections:  65/25/80/.255/12

40. Michael Bourn – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Pierre.  I call this tier, “SAGNOF!”  As for Bourn, see tier name.  2010 Projections:  100/4/40/.270/55

There will be a top 60 outfielder post, but here’s four names on the top 40 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball that I need to point out because you can’t just end a SAGNOF tier without these guys:

40 1/5. Nyjer Morgan – See Bourn, Michael or 1/3 of an inch above.  2010 Projections:  105/4/45/.300/45

40 2/5. Rajai Davis – Too many speed schmohawks and not enough space.  2010 Projections:  80/4/40/.290/50

40 3/5. Julio Borbon – Portmanteau’ing Bourn, Morgan, Rajai, Borbon and Pierre and you get Mijerio Pierogies.  The one Hispanic man in all of Poland.  (Further reading on the Borbon fantasy.)  2010 Projections:  90/8/40/.300/40

40 4/5. Juan Pierre – He’s not French, but he can make love to your face with his steals.  2010 Projections:  95/1/40/.300/45

With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the recaps for hitters.  (Here’s all the final 2009 fantasy baseball rankings.  They’re also to your left… your other left.  And down.)  Pitching recap will begin next.  (NOTE:  The end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater.  I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course.  This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight.  Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect?  No.  It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did.)  Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

21. Carlos Lee – How did he only get 65 Runs?  He played in a 160 games.  He batted .300.  He hit 26 homers.  He hit 4th the entire year.  Oh, wait, I know.  Geoff Blum hit 5th for the Astros in 171 at-bats.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  100/33/110/.300/7, Final Numbers:  65/26/102/.300/5

22. Andre Ethier – Maybe it’s because of the pitcher’s park or the pitcher’s division, but I never fully get behind Dodgers hitters.  Lukewarm on Russell Martin, Loney, Hudson, Furcal, Blake, Ethier and Manny.  Kemp I’m crazy for, but I think you have to be crazy to not be crazy for him.  Preseason Rank #46, 2009 Projections:  80/17/75/.290/5, Final Numbers:  92/31/106/.272/6

23. Michael Cuddyer – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.  Final Numbers:  93/32/94/.276/6

24. Nick Markakis - Here we see the problem with relying on 25 homer power.  In an off year, they hit 18 homers and you wanna strangle someone.  Markakis had two months where he hit one homer (June and September) and one month of 2 homers (April).  His speed continues to decline.  He now has back-to-back seasons of 5 homers vs. lefties.  Markakis isn’t done in my eyes (he’s only going to be 26 in 2010), but I really would like to see 30 homers before going caca-cuckoo for him.  Preseason Rank #3, 2009 Projections:  95/25/100/.310/10, Final Numbers:  94/18/101/.293/6

25. Nelson Cruz – His season was actually much better than this ranking and that will be reflected in January when I go over 2010 rankings.  I say it’s much better because Runs and RBIs are a symptom of the guys around him.  The homers and steals can’t be taught, and he has them.  He could easily be a top 15 outfielder with better Runs and RBIs.  Preseason Rank #49, 2009 Projections:  75/25/90/.270/10, Final Numbers:  75/33/76/.260/20

26. Rajai Davis – After the All-Star Break, he stole 30 bases and hit .325.  DNA samples taken in the 2nd half of the season showed there was a 99.8% chance that Rajai was Carl Crawford.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  65/3/48/.305/41

27. Jason Kubel – In February, I alluded to how he was better value than Jermaine Dye.  And that’s me alluding to me!  Preseason Rank #61, 2009 Projections:  80/20/80/.280, Final Numbers:  73/28/103/.300/1

28. Raul Ibanez – My call on him being a 2nd half hitter looked about as good as Lady Gaga’s clothing choices.  Preseason Rank #28, 2009 Projections:  85/25/110/.290/3, Final Numbers:  93/34/93/.272/4

29. Scott Podsednik – Sometime in May, Ozzie called him into his office.  This is what transpired.  “I want vintage Podsednik!”  “I don’t know if I have it in me, Skip.”  “Skip?!  What is that?  Punta talk?  Now go uncork a 2004 Podsednik!”  And he did.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  75/7/48/.304/30

30. Adam Dunn – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen.  Preseason Rank #23, 2009 Projections:  80/40/85/.245/5, Final Numbers:  81/38/105/.267

31. Hunter Pence – The same thing that hampered Carlos Lee also got Pence.  It’s called the lack of an Astros offense.  With a little help in Runs and RBIs, Pence would’ve been ranked much higher.  Preseason Rank #35, 2009 Projections:  85/28/95/.275/10, Final Numbers:  76/25/72/.282/14

32. Curtis Granderson - There was a whole lot of math done recently on Granderson’s year.  Long story short, he should’ve hit in the .270s rather than the .240s.  As is my wont, I usually ignore average anyway when a guy brings something else to the table.  Grandy brings 30/20.  That’s a whole lotta something else.  I feel like I may be owning Grandy next year on a few teams.  Preseason Rank #19, 2009 Projections:  115/22/75/.275/17, Final Numbers:  91/30/71/.249/20

33. Franklin Gutierrez – Back in February, I said, “I’m a fan of The Big FraGu.  Decent shot at being a cheap source of 15/15.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Preseason Rank #63, 2009 Projections:  70/12/75/.260/16, Final Numbers:  85/18/70/.283/16

34. B.J. Upton – You know what would be nice?  Beej living up to(n) his potential.    Upton’s in the same category as Grandy.  Come February, I’ll be ignoring his bad average.  Preseason Rank #9, 2009 Projections:  95/20/80/.280/35, Final Numbers:  79/11/55/.241/42

35. Marlon Byrd – I suggested in the preseason that you grab Byrd and David Murphy and platoon them.  Turns out you would’ve done fine just owning them both and playing them.  Preseason Rank #68, 2009 Projections:  100/20/100/.285/10, Final Numbers:  66/20/89/.283/8

36. Nate McLouth – McLousy turned in an old school Mike Cameron season.  20/20 — yay!  .256 — eh.  Preseason Rank #18, 2009 Projections:  95/22/90/.270/22, Final Numbers:  86/20/70/.256/19

37. Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate didn’t get his first at-bat of the season until June.  Go ahead, reread that sentence.  Now smize!  (The Tyra Banks definition, not the other one.)  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  74/12/54/.286/22

38. Brad Hawpe – Hawpe’s 2nd half was about as good as my ability to read Sumerian.  Apparently, the guy with the arrow on the ancient tablet means Hawpe shouldn’t be facing lefties.  Preseason Rank #34, 2009 Projections:  70/30/95/.280, Final Numbers:  82/23/86/.285/1

39. Juan Rivera – There should be a glossary term for these Juan Rivera types.  These players are available off of waivers in just about every 12 team league.  They don’t wow you with their numbers.  They don’t hurt your team.  They’re just there in your 5th outfielder slot.  Jason Kubel would be another one.  Each year, one steps up and does more than what is asked of them.  In 2008, it was Xavier Nady, this year it was Michael Cuddyer.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  72/25/88/.287

40. Chris Coghlan – Went over him in the top 20 3rd basemen post, Final Numbers:  84/9/47/.321/8

David Wright was released from the hospital yesterday after tests showed that he was okay from Saturday’s beaning.  When he first went down, the Mets had some serious concerns when Wright couldn’t answer straightforward questions like, “Who’s our starting shortstop?” “Who plays 1st?”  “Who’s the shirtless guy hiding in Jerry Manual’s locker?”  Wright might be out for the season.  Probably be the best thing that could happen to his fantasy owners.  The wait for his power to return can finally end.  Though I wouldn’t drop him in one year leagues until it’s official he’s not returning, unless room on your DL is spare.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Nick Johnson – Left with a hamstring injury.  He seemed to be in good spirits after the game, smiling in locker room pictures.

Nate McLouth – McLousy’s out for a few days after aggravating his hamstring injury and his fantasy owners.

Luke Scott – HR yesterday.  He credits the homer to finally feeling better from the flu.  I guess he had the dreaded 1,700 Hour Flu.

Nick Markakis – Sparkakis!  He now has 14 homers on the year.  He needs ten more to get in my good graces.  Chucking in seven steals along the way wouldn’t hurt either.  Yes, it’s a pipe dream, but it’s my pipe dream.

Erick Aybar – 3-for-6, 2 Runs, 3 RBIs and 2 steals.  Since the All-Star Break, there’s been few MI schmohawks to fill a line like EA – get in the game!

Mike Napoli – The Angels scored 17 runs, Napoli went 1-for-6 with 1 RBI.  Ticker Tease!

Torii Hunter – Returned to the lineup and went 2-for-6 with 2 RBIs, while batting sixth.  Might take him a few days to a week before he’s moved back up the order.  Then again, we’re talking about Scioscia.

Chone Figgins – 4-for-7, 3 Runs, 3 RBIs and a steal.  Who is this Angels offense?  The 1985 Cardinals?

Carlos Gonzalez – 2 HRs yesterday.  How about you give me your password and I’ll pick him up?

Chris Coghlan – 5-for-10 in the doubleheader with a HR yesterday.  Yesterday was a good day for Friday’s Buy guys.

Aaron Cook – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER. About a week ago, turf toe sidelined him.  This start makes me think he’s not completely over it.  I wouldn’t start him anywhere until we see a decent game.  Then again, most of you probably don’t start him anywhere anyway.

Roy Oswalt – 6 IP, 5 ER.  Speaking of pitchers who just don’t seem right.

Hunter Pence – Homers now in back-to-back games.  Love to see him explode in the final month-plus like a Spinal Tap drummer.

Julio Borbon – 4 steals on Saturday, 2-for-3 on Sunday.  He’ll be leading off for the next week vs. righties until Cruz returns.  If you need steals, grab him now.  There’s no time for this Borbon to age.  Oofa!

Junichi Tazawa – 5 IP, 4 ER.  I told you my trepidation on Tazawa in Friday’s Buy/Sell.  And that’s me alluding to me!

Grady Sizemore – HR and steal yesterday as he went 2-for-4.  Since the All-Star Break, he has 4 homers and two steals.  I really wish the Indians would just shut him down so I have no reservations about drafting him next year.  (1 Pun Point for Grey.)

Taylor Teagarden/Kelly Shoppach – HR for each yesterday as The Catchers That Had Everyone Caca-Cuckoo In 2008 rise again.

Colby Rasmus – HR yesterday.  In his short time in the majors, Colby has shown himself to be hella streaky.  (Hella’s for the 18-35 males.)  Right now, Colby is hella hot.  If you need OF help, get’m while they’re hot.

Ryan Howard – 2 HRs yesterday.  For one of my teams, I hope he goes on one of his 10 homer month tears.  For a different team where I don’t own him, I hope he tanks.  Only Natalie Imbruglia knows how I feel.

Brad Lidge – When a manager brings a closer in for a one out save, it’s called kid gloves.

Rafael Soriano – Figured out a way to explain his recent gopher ball troubles, he says he’s dealing with shoulder problems.   I still maintain he’s going to lose save opps in the near future.

Clayton Richard – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER, but 12 baserunners as he tied his owners to the WHIPping post.  But he’s a HodgePadre and shouldn’t have been started in this game anyway.  But II, The Return of But:  He threw so many walks and he gets the same team next time at Petco (Cards) that I probably won’t start him there in most leagues.

Joba Chamberlain – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners vs. the Mariners.  Potatoes to chips, I like the way the Yankees are babying him this year (skipping him and whatnot), but I like it for next year.  For this year, it’s not helping his value when he’s skipped then throws a bucket of fake puke over the movie theater balcony.

Rajai Davis – Stole his third base in four games yesterday.  How is he owned in only 17.5% of ESPN leagues?  I know 75% of ESPN leagues are abandoned, but still.  He should be owned everywhere.

Adrian Gonzalez – 4-for-5, HR yesterday.  I wonder if Adrian calls up other teams pretending to be Kevin Towers and tries to trade himself.

Randy Wolf – 7 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 10 Ks.  And he hit a homer or as frequent commenter, Steve, said, “Wolfman jack!”

Josh Willingham – HR yesterday, 3 RBIs and offered all of his green M&M’s to sweeten the Nats deal for Strasburg.

Geoff Blum – Hit his ninth homer yesterday.  Here’s something to blow your mind.  Geoff Blum’s power > Vladimir Guerrero’s power.  Want more?  Geoff Blum’s power > David Wright’s power.

Alcides Escobar, SAGNOF!  Do you need more?  Um, he’s good at defense.  Alcides Escobar stole 42 bases in 109 games in Triple-A this year.  I dropped Trent Aussie Dog for Escobar in a league, because I need steals more than a flier on power.  Have I mentioned Alcides Escobar steals bases?  Lots.  Of.  Bases.   You know who gets hurt here?  J.J. Hardy.  But enough about that schmohawk.  This is a celebration of the new Brewers shortstop.  Cuz who Hardy are, is dim in the light of Alcides Escobar…  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Delgado – Strained his oblique while rehabbing his hip.  Here’s what I do when I get about half way through a bowl of pho.  I wrap my napkin around my chopstick and stick it in the bowl.

Erik Bedard – To have exploratory surgery on his shoulder.  I think the Mariners are hoping to find a few prospects in there.

Jordan Zimmermann – Out for a year or two with Tommy John surgery.  The Lone Nats fan, “But you can’t spell Nationals without two N’s!”

Derek Jeter – Took a non-aptly titled breaking ball off his ankle.  X-Rays were negative.  Which is positive.  Weird!

Randy Ruiz – HR for his 2nd straight game.  When I say Randy Ruiz, you say Randy Ruiz…  Actually, don’t say that, it’s just so… I don’t know, repetitive.  (<–That last line sounds like Alton Brown.)

Howie Kendrick – 2-for-3 as he homered.  Frequent commenter, Simply Fred, correctly pointed out last week that Kendrick isn’t hitting much against righties, then he goes and hits a homer against one, but two of the runs were charged to a lefty, so natch!

Carlos Pena – 2 HRs yesterday, now with 31 on the year.  Over/under on homers for the rest of the season, 13.  Which one are you taking?

Pat Burrell – HR yesterday, has 3 in the last week.  Guess his Hooters VIP card finally came in the mail and he can concentrate on hitting homers again.

Rajai Davis – 2-for-5, with a steal yesterday.  Has a bazillion steals in the last month.  Seriously.  He has 22 steals on the year, but a bazillion in the last month.  Look it up.

Adam LaRoche – 2 HRs yesterday.   Sure, but Andy LaRoche has their mother’s love.

Trent Oeltjen – 0-for-5, Oh, no!  It’s The Curse of the Razzball Roundup!  I still own him in one league, but Oeltjen is nothing more than an outfield flier.  Remember, if you need to cut bait for someone hotter, lose The Outback.

Tim Lincecum – 8 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 Ks.  The uze there, but I wanted to mention the kind of year the Dodgers are having.  They patchwork together Jeff Weaver, James McDonald and Insert Middle Reliever Schmohawk for the game and they almost win.  Some years it just feels like a certain team’s year.  This year really feels like the Dodgers.  I’m not a Dodgers fan, but I’ve never lived in a city of a World Series (was in England during the Yankee dynasty), so it would be cool if it’s in LA.  Hey, it’s sharing time with Grey! Okay, random italicized voice, moving on.

Hunter Pence – 2 HRs and 6 RBIs yesterday.  Some would think this day was a good season.  Jose Reyes, for one.

Lance Berkman – 2-for-3 with 2 doubles.  Welcome back, Guy Who Looks Like the Host of Man vs. Food’s Father.

Bud Norris - 5 IP, 4 ER, 6 Ks.  It’s the usual refrain.  He’s young and risky.  He was broken down in detail here.

Shane Victorino – 2-for-5 with a HR yesterday.  The best sign was actually the triple.  Good to see The Hawaiian still airborne.

Pedro Martinez – 5 IP, 3 ER.  I actually should’ve predicted this line, because it’s so obvious.  Five innings, three runs.  That’s the best you’re getting from Pedro.  It’s actually kinda of amazing the pub this start got.  He looked a’ight, really nothing great.  I’d prefer Kevin Correia.

Francisco Liriano – 7 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks.  I imagine a lot of people were sonavabenched yesterday by Liriano.  I also imagine the next time out you’ll start him and you’ll be cursing his name.

Garrett Jones – 1-for-4 as he teeters on the edge of being dropped.  He has today in Colorado to do something, then it’s off to Carlos Gonzalez (who homered yesterday).

Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-4, now has a line of 69/22/61/.278/15.  Hanley’s at 71/17/79/.351/22.  Granted, the averages aren’t even close.  But I don’t look at averages (Guess that’s how I ended up with Mark Reynolds on all of my teams).  Now look at the rest of their lines.  They’re that different?  Cust kayin’.

Kevin Youkilis – He got five games to repent (hopefully he doesn’t have to starve himself), so Casey Kotchman and Mike Lowell will both benefit.  Lowell has three homers in the last two games and Casey has one game played.  But if you need cornerman help, there ya go.

John Smoltz – Said he didn’t want to pitch out of the Boston bullpen.  Immediately, Takashi Saito smelled his armpit.

Tommy Hunter – 7 IP, 0 ER.  Hey, you gotta manage your own teams after all, but I wouldn’t pick him up anywhere.

Ricky Nolasco – 3 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  It could’ve been worse.  Between innings he could’ve been having sex with your wife.

Nick Markakis – 3-for-4, 0 RBIs.  I might have to recant my love for Sparkakis.  He has 13 homers and 3 steals.  If Scott Hairston were a piñata and you hit him with a stick, Markakis plus a homer and 7 steals would fall out.