The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Howie Kendrick
Ryan Zimmerman’s summer feels out of reach. Now that he’s supposedly healthy, it’s difficult to be pleased with his .650 OPS. I hate to give up on a 27-year-old with considerable potential, but I’m questioning whether he’ll ever again produce at the near .900 OPS levels he had in 2009 and 2010.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
Also known as the Bond movie no one remembers, and the start you won’t soon forget. Speaking of bad movies, remember that movie starring David Bowie as an alien in search of water who falls to Earth. I think it was called “The Man Who Fell to Earth.” Brandon Morrow did his best David Bowie impression last night as he came crashing down to Earth, getting lit up by the Mighty Texas Rangers for 6 ER in 0.2 innings, inflating his ERA to 3.47.
Please, blog, may I have some more?ESPN fantasy baseball rankings are the same old shizz, different effin’ year. We’ll get to them in a second. I gotta build up my anger. Right now, I’m feeling downright jovial because I just watched the coup de grâce of unintentional comedy — ESPN’s Rankings Roundtables. If you have a few minutes, watch a part of one. You don’t need to watch the whole thing, unless you’re into Gitmo’ing yourself. A few things I noticed from watching a minute of one: 1) Cockcroft looks like he wants to stab Berry in the eye with Stephania Bell’s injury reports. 2) The general air surrounding the proceedings is everyone in the room knows what a bad idea the roundtables are because then people will get to see the methodology behind their rankings is Berry whining, “But guys!” 3) Brendan Roberts sits with his hands folded, trying not to get called on. But what the casual viewer is missing is Brendan’s also mumbling to Cockcroft to nudge him if he falls asleep. 4) They are in a bare room, but sitting in what appears to be Louis Vuitton chairs. 5) Brendan Roberts gelled his hair for this. 6) I wish they sat Karabell and Cockcroft together so it would look like an Office Space reunion with Michael Bolton and Milton.
Please, blog, may I have some more?After the top 20 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball, guess what we have here? The top something-something’s? Cute, random italicized voice. We have the top 40 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball. That’s right, Wonderful just gave birth to Awesome. Wanna hear something even awesomier? I’m going to turn this to 60 then 80. Hopefully I don’t blow my amp. The hardest part about writing these 2012 fantasy baseball rankings posts is writing this opening. Trying to make the clerical stuff sound less clerical, ya know? So I just copied the openings from previous years where applicable. As with other rankings, where I see tiers beginning and ending are mentioned along with my projections. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2012 fantasy baseball:
21.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We continue our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball. There’s no 2nd baseman in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball. At least by my calculation. Some ‘perts are putting Cano in the top 10, but I see him just outside of the top 10, but then again 2nd base is packed to the rafters with production. It looks deeper than the 1st basemen pool and I’m only being half-facetious. It’s like all 2nd basemen slept at a Holiday Inn last night. There’s 15 guys I would take and if I had a middle infield spot on my roster, I’d definitely look to put a 2nd baseman in there. As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?With the top 40 outfielders, we’ve finished all the hitter recaps. We meaning me, but I’ll include you. No, that’s not a cue to try to hold my hand. Why are you now patting my butt? (Here’s all the final 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. They’re also to your left… your other left. And down.) The pitching recap will begin next. To recap, the end of the season rankings are based on ESPN’s Player Rater. I felt the easiest way to keep it objective would to go this course. This way when I say someone finished 30th and I ranked them 23rd in the preseason it carries more weight. Does this mean I think ESPN’s Player Rater is perfect? No. It’s just an objective third party to see how well my preseason rankings did. Anyway, here’s the top 40 outfielders for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
21.
Please, blog, may I have some more?We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or less of equal depth. For instance, Darwin Barney was ranked 20th for 2nd basemen and 19th for shortstops, and Daniel Murphy was ranked 15th for 2nd basemen and 16th for 3rd basemen. To recap, this final ranking for last year is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments. The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1.
Please, blog, may I have some more?After drudging through an Andy Dufresne-type tunnel for the top 20 catchers for 2011, I find myself with a group that actually really hurt or helped your team depending on how you drafted. If you went wrong with your 1st baseman, it could kill your season. Hey, Justin Morneau, no hard feelings from me. We are totally fine. Please enjoy these cyanide pills I made special for you. If you went right, you might’ve won your league.
Please, blog, may I have some more?Jered Weaver will not make his final start of the year because he doesn’t care about your H2H team. Weaver ends the season with a line of 18-8/2.41/1.01/198. If you throw out three bad starts, his ERA would’ve been 1.72 in 220 innings, but if if’s and but’s were candy and nuts no one would ever leave the bathroom. Verlander’s gonna win the Cy Young, shizz is foregone. Put it in an envelope and hand it to your mail carrier so he can steam it open and check it for cash. Either way, let’s look at what Weaver did this year. Mullet over, if you will. Weaver was better last year. Blunt is as blunt does right there. His K-rate, xFIP and hair were all better. His K-rate this year was right in line with past rates, if you exclude 2010. For now, last year looks like the outlier for Ks. Also, batters made contact with his pitches inside the strike zone at a higher rate than last year and hitters weren’t as fooled by pitches outside the strike zone. In the end, he’s not going to be terrible in 2012; it’s just a repeat of 2011 seems unlikely, unless Superman circles the earth a few hundred times.
Please, blog, may I have some more?
