Friends, neighbors and Razzballians, this is the last Closer Look of the season. Sure, I’ll talk about closers during the roundups in the last month, but no more rankings that become dated usually about an hour after I post them. The sadness!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Let’s quote the Random Preseason Commenter, “You don’t have Matt Thornton in your top 20 closers? Hey, Grey, how does it feel to suck at life? Oh, and while you’re sucking, blow me. Thank you.” This isn’t to point out I knew Thornton would be terrible, but to say again how fickle closers are.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Frank Francisco has a sore pectoral, Dotel has a sore hammy, I have a boo-boo on my finger. Who’s going to close for the Jays?! Rauch, and there’s no reason to scream. Brian Wilson lost his Smile and may miss Opening Day.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Neftali Feliz is now a starter. Or is he? Emphasis on the ‘or.’ Or is it on the ‘is?’ You’ll never know! Muahahahahaha… Yeah, I don’t think Feliz is going to be a starter. They got to the World Series the way things were, you change that?Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Padres finally put their offense on the offensive. Only here the offensive definition is “causing anger, displeasure or resentment.” Thanks, Merriam-Webster! Adrian Gonzalez gets a small boost in value, if ‘small’ meant ‘could there be a better place for him to play?’ You don’t have to be a rocket scientist who gave up his job at JPL to study baseball stats to see the difference between Petco and Fenway.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In September, closers either mean everything or they mean nothing. You either really need closers to catch the next nearest guy in saves or you have too much ground to make up and you’re secure in your standings. If you fall into the former category, I’d grab anyone I could to get saves.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I just want to put it out there, I love Eric Young Jr. I have a plan in place to have Prince Fielder have a long discussion Eric Young Jr. about nogoodnik fathers and step in as EY Jr.’s surrogate. We will vacation in Orlando and try faux exotic foods at Epcot, like Greek and Spanish.Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the Ministry of Silly Names, this is a great day. Finally, Coco Crisp gets his just deserts, or is it breakfast? Coco Crisp has had a problem with injuries in the past, constantly going snap, crackle, pop. Now I’m with Coco, as long as he doesn’t move to TBS.Please, blog, may I have some more?