Fantasy Baseball Advice

This is almost the end of the 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  With these top 80 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams.  On last year’s top 80, there was only guy who truly emerged (Edwin Jackson), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list.  But humor me.  There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball:

61. Benrich Shardard – This is a one person pormanteau/tier made of three players:  Ben Sheets, Erik Bedard and Rich Harden.  I call this tier, “Together they’re starting 30 games and vying for a Cy Young.”  They’re some of my favorite pitchers to watch when they’re healthy, but, well, ya know.  (Here’s more on Ben Sheets.)  2010 Projections:  Combined 180-day DL

62. Gavin Floyd – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Danks.  I call this tier, “White Sox starters that I’m respectively excited about, lukewarm over and cold on.”  Would you believe I’m endorsing Gavin Floyd? As De Niro said in the Spider scene, “What’s the world coming to?!”  Floyd made positive gains in K-rate and walk rate while throwing less of his fastball and more of his slider.  Whatever works, Yellnikoff.  I’m not predicting Floyd’s going to be a Cy Young contender, but real late you can do worse.  2010 Projections:  14-10/3.90/1.26/175

63. Mark Buehrle – Buerhrle’s what they used to call plump prostitutes in the early 1800s, a work horse, but horse was spelled different.  I have no problem owning Buerhle on certain teams, but you’re not getting the perfect game pitcher or the 6 runs in 5 inning one.  Somewhere in the middle like Monie Love.  2010 Projections:  13-10/4.00/1.25/125

64. John Danks -  He’s the opposite of Floyd.  It’s almost like the gains Floyd made were taken from Danks.  Weird!  2010 Projections:  12-7/4.15/1.30/155

65. Wade Davis – This is a new tier.  This tier goes until Latos.  I call this tier, “They’re going to be good ones, but right now they’re more or less rookie pitchers.”  The nice thing about Davis, even more so than Feliz and Strasburg, who appeared in the top 60 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball, is he may actually give you close to a complete season.  He could throw close to 200 innings without turning his career over to Dr. Freeze.  The bad is his walks haven’t been great.  2010 Projections:  8-10/3.75/1.34/160

66. Chris Tillman – As I explained in the Double Stuff Orioles post, I’m not a huge fan of rookie pitchers.  Technically, Tillman’s not a rookie, but more or less the same applies.  The more is they can still be very up and down.  The less is they have some major league time under their belt and can begin to pitch up to their capability.  Let’s continue this in Matusz’s blurb.  2010 Projections:  7-12/3.65/1.32/150

67. Brian Matusz – As I was saying, if they get up to their capability then they shoot up the rankings and become far more valuable.  So you have to weigh how much upside you want from your last starter.  I already went over my Matusz fantasy.  2010 Projections:  6-9/3.75/1.30/145

68. Mat Latos – Ah, sweet, sweet, HodgePadre.  He has a sick, as in healthy, K-rate in the minors.  But, as the kids used to say when I was a kid, he’s hella young.  Hey, I’m Old Hella.  2010 Projections:  6-7/4.15/1.32/125 in 20 starts.

69. Chris Young – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Penny.  I call this tier, “Vets that probably won’t see a resurgence, but they can add some much needed stability to the back of a staff.”  Young may be the Padres number one starter, but that’s like being the tallest dwarf.  Cristal Young had a 91 MPH fastball when he made his debut in 2004 with the Rangers.  In 2009, he was regularly clocked at 85.  At 91, you can leave it in the upper part of the strikezone.  At 85, not so much.  Not to mention, every guy he walks gets an automatic double.  Assuming he’s healthy, he could make a decent fifth fantasy starter, but don’t expect him to be a number 2.  2010 Projections:  7-10/4.00/1.28/145

70. Hiroki Kuroda – He doesn’t K many guys or stay healthy, but he manages to keep his ratios in check.  Good name to look at late.  2010 Projections:  9-6/3.65/1.24/100

71. Aaron Harang – I read somewhere some genius was saying something about Chris Young, “Assuming he’s healthy, he could make a decent fifth fantasy starter, but don’t expect him to be a number 2.”  Same could be said about Harang.  2010 Projections:  12-9/4.05/1.35/155

72. Bronson Arroyo – Trade for him in July.  Look at his splits to see what I’m talking about it.  2010 Projections:  12-8/4.25/1.34/140

73. John Maine – I wish I could tell you he’s more than a big question mark, but he’s not.  If he looks good in spring training, I could see him going up draft sheets.  But I could also see him pitching well in April then going down with shoulder problems.  2010 Projections:  9-8/4.15/1.32/85 in 105 innings.

74. Brad Penny – Penny’s my least favorite type of starter.  Overweight with an STD from Alyssa Milano? No, random italicized voice.  Penny’s devoid of Ks and upside.  He should be perfectly meh in the NL while Dave Duncan sprinkles pixie dust on his melon.  Penny might even be great for stretches like he was in San Fran in September of last year.  He also had an obscene BABIP in San Fran.  He’s a mid-4 ERA pitcher.  It’s meh, but sometimes meh is what the doctor ordered.  2010 Projections:  13-10/4.40/1.37/110

75. Brandon Morrow - This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the top 80 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball.  I call this tier, “Eh, may as well end this sucker on a good note.”  These pitchers aren’t exactly exciting, but compared to some other names on this list, they’re a’ight.  As most of you know, when in doubt, I’m going for NL starters at the end of a draft.  Then there’s Morrow.  There’s very few starters you’re getting this late that can pitch as well as Morrow.  Can he stay healthy?  Aw, heck’s no.  Does he walk far too many hitters?  Uh, yeah.  Still decent endgame gamble if he starts strong and you can flip him.  2010 Projections:  10-7/3.85/1.40/100

76. Homer Bailey – Do I think there’s a chance that you’ll draft him and drop him before May?  Yeah, probably.  But it’s a flier, that’s what fliers are for.  You can always grab someone off waivers if Bailey doesn’t work out.  Ringing endorsement, huh?  2010 Projections:  12-9/4.00/1.40/145

77. Ted Lilly – Lilly just feels safe.  Not safe for a 3.10 ERA again.  Not safe for 180 Ks again.  Not safe for 17 wins again.  Not safe to start the season healthy because of an injured shoulder.  But safe.  Hmm, maybe not safe, but I’d stash him on the DL for April to see what he can do when he returns.  2010 Projections:  10-6/3.85/1.10/100

78. Aroldis Chapman – Already went over my Aroldis Chapman fantasy.  2010 Projections: 5-3/3.75/1.37/70

79. Randy Wells – Not one of my all-time favorite types of upside picks because there’s not many strikeouts here.  On the bright side, there’s very few walks too.  2010 Projections:  14-7/3.75/1.25/130

80. Justin Masterson – Masterson’s heat died when he left the Sons of Sam Horns’ hornet nest, but that doesn’t mean something’s wrong with him.  He induces groundballs and gets strikeouts, that’s not a combo that should be scoffed at.  Even if the only people that scoff at something are in Merchant-Ivory films.  2010 Projections:  12-10/3.85/1.34/150

After the top 80 starters for 2010 fantasy baseball, there’s a ton of names, but here’s two that stand out.  One not good, one great:

Trevor Cahill – Cahill had a huge innings bump from ‘08 to ‘09 and he has no Ks.  Than, but no than.  2010 Projections:  8-12/4.50/1.40/80

Jonathan Sanchez – I’m a big fan of Jonathan Sanchez. Might end up owning him on multiple teams.  As Fonzie’s horse said, “Nay!”  I might own him on every team.  May draft him in a couple of AL-Only leagues just to keep snitches honest.  I wrote an entire post already about my Jonathan Sanchez fantasy.  He. Is. Dazzling.  That’s right, I brought out the tooly one word sentence gimmick to make a point.  This Sanchez isn’t dirty, he’s filthy.  2010 Projections:  14-7/3.75/1.38/200 <–optimistic, but you’re not paying me to be conservative.  In fact, this shizz is free.

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2010 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2010 Dodgers Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Mike Scioscia’s Tragic Illness.

1) Jonathan Broxton’s home and away splits, respectively — in 45 innings, 0.40 ERA, 73 Ks and a .095 BAA; in 31 innings, 5.81 ERA, 41 Ks and a .252 BAA.  Statistical anomaly or reason for concern?

Statistical anomaly, but somewhat troubling. It’s no secret that Dodger Stadium is friendlier to pitchers than hitters; a large amount of other Dodgers show similar (though not always as large) splits. For a closer, the emotional boost of jogging in from the bullpen with 50,000 fans chanting for you as your chosen generic hard rock song recorded between 1968-1992 plays probably has a bit to do with it too. Part of why those splits look so large is because Broxton is just unhittable at Dodger Stadium. In 2009 at home, he gave up two earned runs and had a 73/9 K/BB ratio, or more than 8 times as many K as BB. It’s easy to look bad on the road when you’re being measured against insane standards like that. That doesn’t change the fact that a 5.81 ERA is ugly, of course, but it’s also important to keep in mind that ERA is very misleading for relievers because of the small sample size.

2) Last year Chad Billingsley was my preseason Cy Young.  Man, does that look bad now.  Please tell me I’m not falling for the old-banana-in-the-tailpipe by predicting a bounce back.  What kind of year do you see from him?

I’m as big of a Billingsley supporter as anyone, but picking him over Tim Lincecum? Even I can’t back that up. I have to say, though, that I’ve never seen such unwarranted panic over the struggles of a young player as I saw over Billingsley’s tough second half last year. You’ve got a 24-year-old former 1st round draft pick who’d been outstanding for three years in a row, leading to his first All-Star selection, and a few tough starts cause media members and casual fans to call for his trade or release? It’s absolutely insane, especially because it was never as bad as it seemed. You know how many times he gave up more than 4 ER in the last two months of the season, when everyone was freaking out? Zero. In his last two starts of the season, he went into the sixth inning with a no-hitter and a one-hitter, before faltering in that frame both times.

So yeah, I still see a lot to like here, especially because his late-season issues in 2009 aren’t a total mystery. Billingsley fractured his leg slipping on ice in the winter before 2009, requiring surgery and curtailing his conditioning. Then he strained both hamstrings during the season, leading to a subtle but noticeable change in his mechanics. With a full offseason and a just a bit of luck in the health department, I see big things for Billingsley in 2010. Or he’ll completely implode and I’ll look like an ass. Whichever.

3)  The Los Angeles Dodgers of Los Angeles pitchers are always good for fantasy because of their weak hitting division and home stadium.  Give me the rotation, as you see it.

Clayton Kershaw, Billingsley, Hiroki Kuroda, Vicente Padilla, and then pick a name out of a hat. Maybe it’s out-of-options soft-tossing lefty Eric Stults, who seems good for one amazingly dominating shutout a year before getting hurt or fading out. Perhaps it’s two-time Dodger Minor League Pitcher of the Year James McDonald, who won the #5 job out of camp last year before failing miserably, being demoted, and reinventing himself in the second half as an effective big-league reliever. Or former top pick Scott Elbert, a lefty who’s overcome arm injuries and probably has the most talent of anyone in this competition, but hasn’t yet proven it in the bigs. Or knuckleballer Charlie Haeger, picked up for nothing who became an AAA All-Star and contributed a few quality starts in the bigs last summer. Or 2008 second-round pick Josh Lindblom, a darling of last year’s spring training. Or this year’s annual participant in the Jeff Weaver/Chan Ho Park/Aaron Sele veteran scrapheap awards (please don’t be Russ Ortiz, please don’t be Russ Ortiz).

The point is, there’s no shortage of decent options for that job, and the smart money is that you’ll see several of them at some point. Joe Torre has shown very little patience in his back-end starters, and with possible injury concerns with the top guys there should be plenty of opportunity. The early advantage probably goes to Stults, just because he has no more options and has shown a little success already.

4) After Manny Ramirez returned from his suspension for testing positive for a female fertility drug, he didn’t look like the same player.  Do you think his inability to get pregnant weighed on his psyche and he can now return to pre-menopausal levels of hitting?  Or do you think Manny will be lucky to hit .285 and 25 homers?

I think there’s a lot of angles to the Manny story. Rumors of his demise are pretty exaggerated; for all of the complaints you heard about his failings last year he still put up an OPS that would have been top-10 in MLB if he’d played enough to qualify. I also think that in the rush to damn him for cheating, not nearly enough attention was paid to the 95 MPH fastball he took off his hand in mid-July. If you look at the segments of his season (helpfully laid out here) you can see that he was just as good as ever in the two weeks after he returned from suspension, before he got hit. For about a month after that, he was lousy. Once his hand presumably healed, his OBP and SLG came right back up to usual for the rest of the season. You didn’t hear much about that because A) it didn’t fit into the convenient story the media liked to run with and B) because his batting average was just .241, and the casual fan doesn’t get how meaningless that is.

With the injury behind him and a ton of motivation (both to repair his damaged reputation and to play for his next contract, presumably as an AL DH) I think you’ll see a very good year from Manny in 2010. I’d hesitate before saying you’ll see “vintage Manny,” though – don’t forget, he will be 38 years old, which probably has more of an effect than any drugs he may have stopped taking.

5) Do you take the over/under/push on:

One – The number of Manny in-game pee breaks. Under.
Two – The number of flinches by Rihanna when Matt Kemp gets up to hit. Under.
Three – The number of mid-inning reliever changes by Torre. Over. Way over.
Four – The amount of times Russ Martin weakly grounds out. Over isn’t even strong enough here. Not only is he a master of this, now he’s got Juan Pierre’s quota to make up for.
Five – The number of outfield signs that read, “I Go Ethier Way.“ Push.

Four months ago, a torn tendon behind his right knee shut Jose Reyes down for the entire season.  That’s the good news.  In an attempt to return to a team that has been out of the playoff picture since July, Reyes tore his hamstring this week as he ran the bases.  His season is finally, completely, officially over.  Sure, it wouldn’t been nice to see him steal 65 bases and for the Mets to win 25 and a half games in the last three days of the season, but maybe trying to get him back for the last weekend of the season wasn’t the best idea.  Now his 2010 is going to be of the “Is he finally healthy?” variety rather than the “He’s finally healthy” variety.  Obviously more will be known as we get closer to next season.  I’m sure February Grey is preparing his status report as we speak.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Ricky Nolasco – 7 IP, 0 ER, 16 Ks.  Probably should’ve been the lead today, but I felt like ranting on the Mets.  You’ll forgive me.  Take out your Benihana Buddhas and pray that next March your leaguemates look at Nolasco’s 5.06 ERA and pass on him.   Then flip a shrimp tail into your hat.

Brendan Donnelly – Got the save by picking off a runner.  Leo Nunez probably would’ve been fine if it wasn’t for some porous defense behind him.

Javier Vazquez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 Ks.  Extremely hard to argue with the season Vazquez had.  I mean, you can argue with it, but you’d be screaming at a bunch of stats on a piece of paper and that’s just silly.

Charlie Morton – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 Ks.  A four run lead is obviously more comfortable than an 11-1 lead that John Russell yanked Zach Duke from the other day.  When you figure it out, let me know because I’m baffled.

Ryan Doumit – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs, 3 Runs and a HR yesterday in the nightcap.  His nightcap had stripes and a little fuzzy ball on the end of it.

Roy Halladay – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners.  Ricciardi can now trade Halladay for the Taj Mahal.

Bronson Arroyo – 8 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.   On July 28th, he had a 5.17 ERA.  He now has a 3.84.  August and September, he had a combined 2.00 ERA.

Drew Stubbs – 2-for-4 with a steal yesterday.  He has 8 homers and 10 steals in 38 games.  Charades time!  I’m making a tree shape… Has fronds… Palm! Right!  Sideshow Bob! No, wait a second.  I’m making a diving motion near the palm tree… We’re in a desert…  Mirage! Yes!  That’s Drew Stubbs.  Stubbs is the Mirage casino where Siegfried and Roy used to perform? No.  Forget it.

Justin Masterson – 9 IP, 1 ER, 12 Ks.  Wow, were there any poor pitching performances yesterday?  (This is what you get when teams don’t play their first-stringers.  This is also why H2H is kinda lacking.)

Carl Pavano – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Ah, yes.  There’s a poor performance.  Mussina always said Pavano’s got no heart.

Troy Tulowitzki – 2-for-3 as he hit his 31st homer yesterday.  He has an outside chance at .300.  Incredible.

Carlos Gonzalez – 2-for-5 with a homer.  He has 270 at-bats, 13 homers and 16 steals.  In 300 at-bats, Beltran has 10 homers and 11 steals.

Hiroki Kuroda – Scratched from Saturday’s start.  Kershaw will fill in for him.  Should be the Rockies B lineup, may not be a bad start to gamble on.

Corey Hart – Probably done for the year with two fractured fingers.  No word if he hurt himself by bumping into something while wearing his stupid sunglasses at night.

Casey McGehee – 2-for-5, HR yesterday.  He has 16 homers in 345 at-bats.  He’ll have 2nd base eligibility next year.  Cust kayin’.

B.J. Upton – Two steals yesterday.  No one’s going to argue that the .238 average is a travesty, but he has 10 homers and 41 steals in only 140 games.  I’m buying for next year.

Clayton Richard – 7 IP, 0 ER.  C’mon, you’re digging the HodgePadres just a bit, right?

Brad Penny – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 Ks.  When I say NL, you say West.  NL… West… NL… West…  You got it.

Brandon Morrow – 8 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit.  Ah, well, here’s to him being a sleeper again next year I guess.

Adam Moore – Hit his first homer of his career.  He’s considered by many as the Mariners catcher of the future.  So that means he’ll diddle himself in the minors for three years, get called up, be given no real opportunity then get sent away in a deal with the Pirates for some futility infielder.

Jamie Moyer – Out for the season/playoffs with torn muscles in his groin and abdomen.  I told you to let the kids move the sofa!

Joba Chamberlain – 3 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Talk about someone who fantasy owners will have no idea what to do with next year.

J.R. Towles – 2 HRs yesterday.  About 18 months too late for most.

Fausto Carmona – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  As I was skimming the boxscores to do this roundup, I saw F. Carmona and I was like, “You got that right ESPN!”

Yesterday, Andy LaRoche made a last ditch effort for some of his parents’ love.  He went 5-for-5, with 2 homers, 4 Runs and 6 RBIs.  He had his best month of the season in September and he’ll still be 26 next year.  I might actually own Pirate players next year.  Weird!  BTW, the Pirates were playing in their final home game of the year in what has been a miserable decade season.  With this last opportunity for the Pirates to give their fans something to cheer about, the 3rd base coach put the brakes on LaRoche as he rounded 2nd heading to third on a long double.  Who cares right?  LaRoche needed a triple for the cycle!  Wait, it gets better.  Zach Duke is cruising for the entire game.  Runs into slight trouble in the 9th inning, but the Pirates have an 11-1 lead.  So what does the manager do with two outs, the never fear-inducing Blake DeWitt at-bat and Duke dealing with a very reasonable 103 pitch count?  He lifts Duke rather than let him get the complete game.  The Pirates deserve contraction.  /rant  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Hiroki Kuroda – 4 IP, 10 baserunners, 3 ER and 7 runs total.  As he provided a Ticker Shock.

Garrett Jones – HR and steal yesterday as he went 2-for-5.  On the season, he’s sitting at 21 homers and 10 steals with a .305 average.  That’s in 292 at-bats.  I think Robot Jones might officially be overrated next year, unless everyone thinks he’ll be overrated which could make him underrated or just rated.  Hard to say.  If I had to guess, I think people will assume he’s a fluke and he’ll go later than he should.

Josh Beckett – Scratched from his start vs. the Jays.  I wouldn’t wait around to see if he starts again this season if you need starters.  Chances are the Sawx throw him for only a few innings as a tuneup for the playoffs, if they throw him at all.

Brett Gardner – Gardner, Melky, Hinske, Shelley “I Will High Five You So Hard Your Momma Feels It” Duncan, Miranda-Something-Or-Other, Ramiro Pena and Cervelli.  What is the Yankees lineup a day after clinching?  Yes, that’s right.  We would’ve also accepted, what the Yankees lineup would’ve l0oked like all year if they had the same injuries as the Mets?  For fantasy baseball purposes, this isn’t great that your Yanks are sitting, but I don’t think Girardi is going to want them rusty so the regulars should see at least 4 games this week.

Jair Jurrjens – 7 IP, 0 ER, 3 Ks.  With only one start left on the year, his ERA is 2.61.  Zoinks!  Of course, I’d love for him to strikeout more guys, but it’s hard to argue with his year.  Of course, he’s no Wandwagon.  But who is?

Anibal Sanchez – 5 IP, 3 ER, 8 walks and that’s why I wouldn’t ever start him.

John Danks – 9 IP, 1 ER, 7 Ks.  Every time I think I’m done with Danks (last game 6 IP, 7 ER), he pulls me back in with a start like this.  I’m warning you now, I’m going to like him again next year.

Cole Hamels – 6 2/3 IP, 6 ER.  Damn you, Verducci Effect.

Miguel Tejada – 4-for-5 as he had his second 4 hit game in three days while batting over .500 in the last week.  At 13 homers, 5 steals and a .313 average, he’s been one of the biggest surprises this year for me.  Since those numbers aren’t that overwhelming, you can imagine how much I expected of him this year.

Gabe Kapler – HR yesterday.  Now that’s how you break a fast.

Grant Balfour – Got the save yesterday because when the bottle stopped spinning it was pointing at him.

Ervin Santana – 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks as the Angels win the West.  Count on most of the Angels lineup sitting or phoning it in tomorrow.  That’s a slight endorsement for the Rangers starter tomorrow, Feldman.

Edwin Encarnacion – 2-for-3, 3 Runs and a RBI when he was replaced by Millar.  No word if he left because of a serious injury or just to emphasis how scary it is that I care what happened to him.

Colby Rasmus – This video was shot exactly 500 yards from Colby Rasmus.  If you think that is bad, you should see the one for Chris Davis.  It’s just a guy singing honkytonk at a Dallas bar and striking out with every woman he tries to serenade.

Carlos Beltran won’t play in day games following night games.  He won’t play in too many games in a row.  He won’t play in games where the other team’s starting pitcher’s last name ends in an N.  Here’s me playing the world’s smallest violin for everyone at Metco.  Since Beltran’s return, 1 homer and zero steals.  So he’s not running and he’s hitting for an empty average with little power.  There’s no crying in baseball and there’s no sentimentality in fantasy baseball.  If you’re holding onto your 2nd round pick because you held him this long already, well, you’ve held him too long.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Anibal Sanchez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks.  If Oliver Perez is the crazy girlfriend that you have hot passionate sex with but is afraid may stab you in the jugular in the middle of the night, then Anibal is her sister.  (If you followed that, give yourself a gold star.)

Dan Uggla – Hit his 30th homer yesterday as the Marlins rubbed their hands together thinking about who they were going to get for Uggla this offseason.

Joe Blanton – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Threw a gem against the Marlins.  I overthought this one and… sonavabench!  Should’ve just started him.  (BTW, is overthought one word or two?  There I go again!)

Hiroki Kuroda – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He was in the borderline starters post on Monday.  He’s a decent start on Sunday too.

Rafael Furcal – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs.  No one plays harder when you’re playing against a terrible team with a playoff spot sewn up.  No one.

Zach Duke – So this borderline starter didn’t work out quite as well.  You take Zach Duke to the cashier and she rings you up six innings and five earned runs.  That’s the price of playing sucky guys, I guess.

Trevor Cahill – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER.  And my final borderline starter for yesterday worked out okay as I finally learned to not bet against the A’s.

Andrew McCutchen – The Dread Pirate hit his 12th homer yesterday in 3/4 of a season.  *sipping tea with my pinkie out, crossing legs*  Do you dare draft The Dread Pirate and Robot Jones on the same fantasy team next year?

Edwin Encarnacion – 2 HRs, but whoa, turkey, guess what else?  He batted third.  Zoinks!

Brian McCann – Left the game with a bruised wrist, which is not nearly as delicious as a braised wrist.

Martin Prado – Now batting near .500 in the last week and the hits just keep coming as he went 2-for-4 yesterday.

Jorge de la Rosa – 2 1/3 IP, 6 ER as dlR pitched his worst start since June.  You’re killing me, Smalls!

Carlos Gonzalez – Pulled from the game with a tight hamstring.  Car(No)Go, as it were.

Huston Street – Came on in the 7th.  Yeah, he’s not the closer yet.

Franklin Morales – Got the save as he gave up three inherited runs and one of his own.  So, yeah, Street may be the closer again soon.

Brad Hawpe – Hit a homer yesterday.  If you would’ve told me he retired two months ago, I might’ve believed you.

Alex Rios – HR yesterday.  If you bet that Rios and Hawpe would hit a homer on the same day, that’s like Powerball money you just won.

John Danks – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Showing de la Rosa two can play the “I Hate My Fantasy Owners Game,” he had his worst start since May.   After the game, Danks tweeted, “I pitched.  #sucky”

Bobby Jenks – Probably done for the year with a calf injury (with his size you’d think they’d call it a cow).  Linebrink would probably step in for any saves.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 38th homer yesterday.  We have a week and a half for Dunn to hit two more homers or the world will explode.

Matt Cain – 2 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Now really isn’t the time for that regression that every fantasy baseball ‘pert has been predicting since May.

Randy Wells – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 Ks.  According to Cubs fans, without Milton Bradley telling opposing hitters which pitches are coming, the Cubs are unstoppable.

Prince Fielder – Hit his 41st homer yesterday as he tied Pujols for the RBI lead with 129.  Going into the final weekend, if Prince is still neck-and-neck with Pujols, Albert should buy seats for Cecil Fielder right behind the Brewers dugout.  (For those in the back of the room, Cecil and Prince don’t get along.)  Devious Grey out.