Fantasy Baseball Advice

Before we move our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings to the pitchers, we look at the top 5 utility players for 2010 fantasy baseball.  These players are only eligible at DH aka Utility.  Frankly, I don’t think you should draft any of these designated hitters.  They don’t allow enough flexibility.  For example, what if you had David Ortiz clogging up your Utility spot last year and you really wanted to pick up Ben Zobrist?  You would’ve been wretched, retching on all fours to borrow from The Decemberists.  These guys have no position eligibility for fantasy baseball.  As with past rankings posts, this top 5 for 2010 will be broken up into tiers, and their 2010 projections will be included.  Anyway, here’s the top 5 utility players for 2010 fantasy baseball:

1. Vladimir Guerrero – This is the first tier.  This tier goes until Matsui.  I call this tier, “They were good at one time.  No more.”  If you’re drafting Vlad to clog up your utility spot, then you’re assuming he’s going to bounce back.  So my question to you is, a bounce back to what?  The last time he stole more than 5 bases was in 2006.  That was when he had three working legs and didn’t walk like Ron Kovic.  The last time he hit above 30 homers was also in 2006.  The last two years Vlad hasn’t hit above .303.  As evidenced by the participants of HBO’s Real Sex, swingers don’t age well.  2010 Projections:  70/26/95/.290/3

2. David Ortiz – Right now, Ron Blomberg is rolling over in his Barcalounger in disgust.  It is most certainly not the age of the DH.  Like Vlad, if you draft Papi, you’re hoping for a bounce back.  Again, I don’t think it’s coming.  See Mo Vaughn’s career for further proof.  2010 Projections:  70/27/90/.265

3. Hideki Matsui – He probably won’t give you much different numbers than the first two guys on this list.  Matsui might be the only bargain in the DHs.  Still doesn’t mean I’d draft him.  2010 Projections:  70/24/80/.285

4. Travis Hafner – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the rankings.  I call this tier, “Don’t even think about drafting them.” Okay, multiple choice question.  Which of these are actual quotes by Hafner?  A)  I’ll be fully healthy for the 2008 season.  B)  I’ll be fully healthy for the 2009 season.  C) I’ll be fully healthy for the 2010 season.  D)  My head weighs 17 pounds.  If you answered A, B and C, you’re right.  That doesn’t make D any less accurate.  2010 Projections:  50/18/65/.270

5. Pat Burrell – Unless your league has a NSFW category, Burrell isn’t worth owning.  2010 Projections:  65/24/75/.245

With ace-of-the-staff years dating back to 2002, Roy Halladay was the franchise.  Well, the Blue Jays front office gave the Blue Jays fans the kanye shrug.  While most pitchers go from good to great or great to mindblowing in the NL, Halladay will have to deal with Citizens Bank.  He doesn’t have much history to go on there, but it obviously favors hitters more than Rogers Centre, where Halladay had a 3.23 career ERA.  I think we can nullify that park disadvantage with all the weaker lineups and the pitchers he’ll get to face.  In his career interleague play, he has a 17-8 record, 3.02 ERA. 1.14 WHIP and 165 Ks in 220 and a third innings.  Sounds like a solid projection for Halladay’s 2010, just add twenty more Ks.  Anyway, here’s some more deals that went down yesterday and what they mean for 2010 fantasy baseball:

Cliff Lee – Heads to the Mariners.  If there’s one place a pitcher shouldn’t mind going, it’s Safeco.  (Safeco, Petco, Metco… Throw out the humidor and just rename the park Coorsco.)  Lee benefited from his move to the NL (though his ERA says different), but it wasn’t like he was languishing in the AL prior to the trade.  With the Indians last year through July, his ERA was 3.14.  His K-rate in the NL last year bumped up his overall strikeouts, so we shouldn’t expect more than a 7 K/9.  Still good for a mid-3 ERA, 1.25 WHIP and 160 Ks with the Mariners.

John Lackey – Heads to Bahston.  Now Boston reporters can misspell his name Larkey and it would be pronounced the same way.  If only his first name were Nomar, then it would sound like no malarkey.  Larkey will be immediately overrated in 2010 fantasy baseball drafts.  He hasn’t been able to get over 200 innings since 2007 and his K-rate has been dropping for a few years now.  For those out there that say he’ll now get more wins, the Angels weren’t exactly a 50 win team and he’s had only 12 and 11 wins the last two years, respectively.  In 2010, I’d put him down for a high-3 ERA, 1.30 WHIP and 130 Ks in 165 innings.

Michael Taylor – When I was deciding who would get a 2010 fantasy baseball rookie post, I looked at Michael Taylor.  He fell short because I couldn’t figure out what value he was going to have on the Phillies.  There was just no room for him in the outfield.  No longer a problem.  Taylor heads to the Jays.  Lind slots into the DH spot and Taylor goes into left.  Or someone can just make Vernon Wells glue.  Taylor will be 24 in a few days  — go to Benihana for your birthday, they give you free pineapple chunks — and he has done all he needs to do in the minors.  Last year split between Double and Triple A, Taylor went 20/21 with a .320/.395/.549 line.  It’s not far fetched to think he could be an early front runner for the 2011 AL ROY award and a 15/15 candidate.  Assuming Taylor’s penciled into the the lead-off spot, I’d give him a projection of 85/12/60/.280/15 with upside from there.  Definitely worth owning in leagues 12 team and deeper.

Phillippe Aumont – Stephen went over the Phillippe Aumont fantasy.  He goes to Philly.  Or, more appropriately, Philli.  (For those keeping score at home, Phils get Halladay, the M’s top pitching prospect, Aumont, and Tyson Gillies — more on him in a second.  M’s get Lee.  Jays get D’Arnaud, Taylor and the Phils top pitching prospect, Kyle Drabek and/or Happ.  As of press time, this wasn’t all entirely clear.)  Aumont will be given the opportunity to make the club as bullpen help, but probably won’t be up until midseason at the earliest.  He has no clear cut path to the Phils closer job yet.  But wait until Lidge pitches.

Tyson Gillies – Elias Sports Bureau said there’s more L’s in this trade than any other trade in the history of baseball.  Actually, they didn’t say that; they’re in the Antilles on vacation.  As mentioned above, Gillies heads to the Phils.  Gillies fantasy prospects were broken down already.  He’s at least a year away unless the Phils are hit by major injuries.

Travis D’Arnaud – Sent from the Phils.  He’s still at least a year or two away, but he could be the catcher of the future for the Jays.  The catcher of the present is…

John Buck – Evidently, they’re replacing a real cowboy (Doc Halladay) with one of the midnight variety.  Buck has some cheap pop and nothing else for AL-Only leagues.

Mike Cameron – Signs with Boston and signals that the Sawx are done waiting for Bay or Holliday.  Then again, they have four competent outfielders when most clubs don’t have two so they could still stuff their cheeks with a few more acorns.  Cameron’s presence will be no present for Jeremy Hermida.  See what I did there?  Hermida’s value takes the biggest hit.  He could end up doing nothing but platooning against tough righties.  That’s assuming J.D. Drew stays healthy and, as they said in China in the 1400s, assuming makes an ass out of you and Ming. Cameron hasn’t stolen 20+ bases since ‘06 and at 37 he probably won’t get there again.  He’ll likely bat at the bottom of the order, which will help with RBIs.  He’s a decent 5th outfielder in 12 team leagues for teams that need assurance over upside.

Hideki Matsui – To the Angels.  In his youth, Hideki came to be called Godzilla because of monstrous homers and acne.  Well, he’s still got the acne.  I’d avoid him in fantasy as much for his yawnstipating numbers as for his Utility-only eligibility.

Jason Kendall – Royals get him for two years.  Much like a Ken doll, Kendall has no bat.

I’d like to dedicate this opening paragraph to one of our 2008 faves Mark ‘Mini-Donkey’ Reynolds as he reached 200 Ks and is poised to shatter the previous record of 205 Ks set by the very same Mark Reynolds last year.  (Luckily, he’s also shattering his record for Runs, HRs, RBIs, and SBs too.)  We are tempted to call up MLB to ask how much it would cost to sponsor a Razzball Windmill of the Year Award.  It’s got to be hard to fail that much and still have the overall success that Reynolds is having this year.  It’s like that guy in the bar who comes onto 10 girls out of his league and then scores with the 11th.  You have to be impressed with his triumph but the 10 failures are, in their own way, more impressive.  Anyway, kudos to the Grand Diamondhack and onto the rest of what’s going on…

Derek Lowe - D-Lowe forfeited a favorable start tonight when he left after two innings (and 3 ER) with a blister on his ring finger.  Luckily the blister isn’t on his little finger or his thumb or he’d really be in dire straits.

Gavin Floyd – He saw D-Lowe’s 2 inning start and saw him one inning better before leaving with a bad hip.  A 4th inning might’ve qualified him for a Win…..if you used the Joba Rules.  Decent chance he’s toast for the season so don’t waver to waiver.

Hideki Matsui - Hit his 25th HR of the season as part of a Yankee win.  I would’ve thought Matsui would’ve needed to move back to one of those glorified Little League stadiums they have in Japan to ever clear 25 HR again.  Luckily the Yanks built one instead.

Ian Stewart - Returned after missing most of the last week with a bad back to hit a 2-run HR.  He’s now 7-for-30 in September with 5 HRs and 14 Ks.  He’d be a 50 HR threat if they ever triple the size of the ball or the bat barrel.

Jonny Gomes - Hit his 20th HR of the season in 254 ABs.  Incidentally, that’s 2 more than Jay Bruce, 18 more than Chris Dickerson, and 19 more than Willy Taveras.   Hitters moving from the AL to the NL must feel like that kid whose birthday fell a day after the Little League cutoff and got to play an extra year.

Francisco Rodriguez & Brian Fuentes – The former and current Angel closers continue to bedevil fantasy owners with blown saves last night – adding to their already 5.00+ ERAs in the second half.  Like a bunch of Latin Lidges.  If they are still available in your league, lock in their backups – Kevin Jepsen for the Angels and…um…uh…never mind on the Mets.

Franklin Morales – Closing the circle of blown saves, the interim closer of Fuentes’ former employer gave up 3 ER in the final inning of a 4-0 game.  Kazaam!

Roy Oswalt – Being shut down for the season due to lingering back issues.  Half price sale on Astros.com for “Roy & Wandy then starve our chances of winning like Ghandi” T-Shirts!

Braden Looper - Improved his record to 13-6 for the Brew Crew despite a near 5.00 ERA.  Manny Parra is 10-10 with a 6.42 ERA.  Parra is obviously just about 1 1/2 earned runs per game from being a dominant pitcher.

Bartolo Colon – Cleansed from the ChiSox roster today.  If I was Vince McMahon, I’d sign him and Sidney Ponson as a tag team christened as the Piñatas.

Brian Duensing went seven innings with no earned runs, 11 baserunners and 6 Ks.  I almost started him, but he was going vs. the A’s and they’ve hurt me so many times this year.  I think I owned the losing pitcher for every one of their wins.  The rest of the way, Duensing gets the Tigers twice and the Royals once.  Not terrible starts.  The Tigers hitting isn’t as good as their record and the Royals, well, ya know.  Duensing probably won’t provide you with a ton of Ks, but he has solid control and a last name that sounds like an Indonesian prison.  (BTW, his last name may only sound like that because of my new favorite TV show, Locked Up Abroad.  Next time I go abroad, I’m not even going to mule in any exotic fruit.  BTW II, instead of mule, shouldn’t they call these smugglers jackasses?  I apologize to any of our drug dealing readers.  You know who you are.)  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

B.J. Upton – Didn’t played for three games, then returned to go 0-for-3 in the 2nd game of yesterday’s doubleheader as the Rays fade from the playoff picture.  In September, the Rays have the 2nd worst Run total while batting .214.  Good to know for match ups.

Brad Lidge – You’re the manager of the Phils, let’s call you, Charlie Manuel.  So you’re “Charlie Manuel” and you have a 5-2 lead going into the ninth vs. one of the worst lineups.  Do you go to your ramshackle closer to try to build his confidence or do you go to ramshackle setup man-turned-closer or do you interrupt Brett Myers, who’s in the middle of boxing a kangaroo?  You go to Lidge, who nearly blows the save, and avoid Madson who blew the save on Saturday.

Ryan Madson – For the Phils nightcap, they decided to go with a less-aged scotch and gave Madson the save.

Pedro Martinez – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 Ks, then he poured out an eyedropper for the dwarfs who weren’t there.

Kyle Davies – 6 IP, 7 baserunners (one hit).  He gets the White Sox next.  It’s not an ideal match-up, but Davies has now thrown four solid starts in a row and shut out the White Sox the last time he faced them in Chicago.

Pete Orr – HR yesterday.  He can cross that off his bucket list.

Ian Desmond – 2-for-5 yesterday, 4-for-4 on Saturday.  Tomorrow… lassoing the moon!

Paul Maholm – 8 IP, 0 ER.  It’s not a September run in the H2H playoffs unless you’re starting guys you don’t trust.  Maholm gets the Padres next.

Lance Berkman – HR yesterday and his third in the last four games.  Waco my airplane…

Tommy Hunter – 9 IP, 2 ER.  And the Rangers are in the top half of the league in pitching.  Zoinks!

Chris Carpenter – 6 IP, 7 ER.  Sorry to talk real baseball, but this start might’ve cost him the Cy Young.

Derrek Lee – Hit his 32nd homer yesterday.  After a terrible April and a yawnstipating May, he hit a random homer in June and I said, “Now has his average up to .253.  I know, big whoop!  But, and I might be alone on this island, I think he’s got a month or two hot streak in him.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Turned out he had about a four month hot streak in him.  Unfortunately, the steals have completely vanished from his game.

Torii Hunter – HR yesterday.  Since I’m looking down at my nuggets to offer up nuggets, when he was at 17/13 on July 3rd, I said, “My gratuity calculator is telling me if you own Hunter, you’ve gotten more production from him than you will if you continue to hold him.” He’s now at 21/16.  So he’s gone 4/3 since early July.  That’s like one week from Robot Jones.

Mark Buehrle – 7 IP, 2 ER.  After his rough stretch following his perfect game, he seems to be settling down.  He gets the Royals next.

Kendry Morales – 1-for-3, No reason to talk about him here, but this caught my eye.  He’s been caught stealing 7 times and he’s been successful one time.  Elias Sports Bureau said this is the most caught stealings for a guy who shouldn’t be running in the first place.  Actually, they didn’t say that, but something that was overheard this week in the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “For the first time ever, Natalie, in stats research, had a nervous breakdown when Jim, in Human Resources, refused her Mafia Wars invitation.”

Russell Martin – Back to back games now with homers.  Nice of Martin to show in mid-September.

Chad Billingsley – 4 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners vs. the Giants, who are just barely above the Padres as the worst offensive team in the league.  Oh, Billingsley.

Juan Uribe – HR yesterday.  If you need MI pop, he’s poppin’.

Jake Peavy – Thinks he can return by this weekend vs. the Royals.  He said yesterday, “The stamina was definitely better, the sharpness of everything (that can easily beat the Royals), the fastball command (that will strike out Royal hitters), the breaking ball (that the Royals hitters won’t be able to hit), so I’ll be ready to get in a game (versus the Royals) sometime soon.”

Hideki Matsui – 3-for-5, HR, 5 RBIs yesterday.  When he got home, his wife congratulated him.  She’s very animated.

Derek Jeter – 3-for-5, 3 Runs.  Big weekend for Jeter as he passed Gehrig’s Yankee hit record.  Now he only has one hallowed Yankee record left, the Most Times He Has To Defend A-Rod Without Actually Defending Him Only To Later Write A Book Defaming Him.  Record currently held by Joe Torre.

Adrian Beltre hits the DL with Jockular Sphincteritis as a grounder clipped one of his testicles.  It’s the best contact he’s made all season.  When reached for comment, Beltre said, “Aw, nuts!”  After being badgered, he yelled, “Stop busting my balls!”  Turns out, Beltre doesn’t wear a protective cup.  He claims it’s uncomfortable.  You know what else is uncomfortable?  A bleeding testicle.  Beltre could be out for the season, but he hasn’t really been much use this year so his owners shouldn’t worry.  On a related note, I wonder if he’ll let his teammates sign his cast.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Jonny Gomes – 3 HRs.  Half of me (the Lily Tomlin half) wishes Dusty would start benching Gomes again for no good reason, because I don’t own him anywhere.  – Quote from Grey after he picked up Wladimir Balentien for Thursday’s short schedule day.

Bronson Arroyo – 9 IP, 3 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Arroyo was on my list of pitchers to watch in the 2nd half, and he now has 4 straight solid starts and only one poor start since the All-Star Game.  MLB’s Non-approved supplements + marginal pitchers = fantasy gold.

Jorge Cantu – HR yesterday.  He is so long overdue for a hot streak it’s not even funny.  Man, the hot April guys are the hardest to cut, aren’t they?

Hideki Matsui – 2 HRs yesterday to bring his total to 19.  He just needs about 6 more homers to really confuse people next year when it comes time to draft.  “Hmm… need one more outfielder… Screw it, I’ll grab Matsui.  He’s good for 25 homers.  That’s Jason Kubel-ish!”  Slot Matsui in for two weeks, snooze alarm goes off and drop him.

Jake Peavy – Three shutout innings in his rehab start and two baserunners.  His Sox debut is set for the 28th vs. the Yankees.

Kevin Kouzmanoff – 5-for-5, as he bats .283 away from Petco.  Do you think any Padres hitters have a no trade clause?

Mike Rivera – 2 HRs yesterday.  I saw the homers listed next to M. Rivera and I really thought Mariano hit two homers for the Brewers.  I’d prefer to own Mariano.

Victor Martinez/Ryan Howard – Both stole bases yesterday.  According to Elias Sports Bureau, this was the first time two slow guys stole a base on the same day since Bob Horner and Steve Balboni stole a base in 1985.  Actually, they didn’t say that, but here’s something that was overheard this week at the Elias Sports Bureau compound, “For a record five times this week, Ken, in the mailroom, advised the company to save money by putting the intended address in the return address field and leaving off the postage, so the Post Office ‘returns’ the mail where it’s supposed to go.”

Matt Capps – 2/3 IP, 3 ER.  Kazaam!

Dexter Fowler – 4-for-5 yesterday.  Nice, but it’s not HAGNOF, it’s SAGNOF!

Jason Marquis – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 Ks.  If you started him here, nay, if you own Marquis, you have cojones.  Speaking of Joneses.

Garrett Jones – 0-for-4, 4 Ks.  Me and Mr. Jones, our thing is no longer going on.

Prince Fielder – 2 HRs.  Okay, but Ryan Howard and Victor Martinez stole bases.

Gil Meche – 5 IP, 4 ER, in his return.  He’ll be covered more in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  If you’re a time traveler from the future, don’t spoil it for anyone.

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks.  My head is spinning from how many Ks Verlander is racking up?  My head isn’t meant to spin!

Clay Buchholz – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 Ks.  He has enough major league innings under his belt that I would give him a chance if he were on waivers, but beware the unbalanced schedule.

Ryan Dempster – 7 IP, 6 ER.  I wouldn’t own Dempster.  I said it in the beginning of the year and I haven’t wavered on him once.  (Clever pun point for Grey.)

Shane Victorino – 2-for-5 as he filed charges against the guy who threw beer on him.  I could see if he threw the beer on Josh Hamilton, but c’mon, it’s Wrigley.

Neftali Feliz – Has 13 Ks in 6 innings and only one baserunner (a solo homer to Adam Kennedy).  MR. B’s unite.

Josh Hamilton – 4-for-4, 2 RBIs and 1 Run.  Let’s hope this good day doesn’t send him on a misbehavior spiral.  Hopefully he just gets another tattoo and calls it a day.