Billy Butler (and his milkshake) brings all the balls to go yard. This year, for the first time in his career, he’s hit his eighth home run before June. Butler has been a perennial candidate to experience a spike in homers because he consistently ranks among the league leaders in hitting doubles, with at least 44 in each of the last three years. Unfortunately, those doubles have not become homers at a higher rate, evidenced by his career high 21 homers and a career 10% HR/FB that ranks him alongside teammate Jeff Francoeur. To contrast, this year he’s managed an HR/FB over 18%, which is responsible for him posting an .876 OPS due to the increase in slugging. His plate discipline appears to be suffering but, despite a decreased walk rate, his OBP is on par with his .360 career average. Moving forward, a key determinant of his OPS performance will be his HR/FB. The average true distance of his eight home runs is roughly 400 feet, which is a negative sign because he averaged above 405 feet every previous season and averaged nearly 415 feet in 2011. Yes this is a small sample, but I’m skeptical of him realizing any sustainable power increase. Furthermore, three of his eight homers wouldn’t have left his home park, compared to only two of his nineteen home runs having the same fate in 2011. For the rest of the season, I don’t expect improvement upon last year’s line of .360/.460/.820. At first base or designated hitter, that’s nothing special. You’ve built me up Billy, but don’t break my heart.
Hanley Ramirez claims to be a big fan of 50 Cent, whose last album Before I Self Destruct was released in 2009. Oddly enough, 2009 was the last year Hanley has posted one of his .940+ OPS seasons. Since then, his OPS has declined: .853 in 2010, .712 in 2011, and .765 in 2012. This 2010-2011 trend appears to be related to a decreased line drive rate and fly ball rate, with an increased ground ball rate. This year’s he’s started hitting more fly balls and less ground balls, resulting in a rise in home runs. One positive factor is that his .275 BABIP, which he also had last year, should increase. However, since he isn’t hitting line drives like he used to, he may not see it increase much above .300. Additionally, his .192 ISO is encouraging (he has a .200 career ISO) and suggests that he may be able to maintain his power. For the rest of 2012, I think he will be able to approach a .350/.475/.825 line. At shortstop, that is almost certainly one of the top three and may only trail Tulowitzki. At third base in OPS leagues, Hanley will be closer to a borderline top five option.
Albert Pujols has an OPS below .600. I’ve heard analysts talk about how he’s struggling to adjust to American League pitchers, how there are questions about his age, and even how they would trade Pujols for Konerko. As somebody who has Albert in more than one league, I understand that it’s been frustrating to own him this year, but I’m not ready to give up hope: Pujols isn’t dead yet. In fact, his batted ball profile is in line with what I’d expect, except for his insanely low HR/FB of 6.9%. This is a clear indication of some bad luck, and I expect him approach the 18.3% rate he’s had over the last two years. Another source of bad luck is his .225 BABIP, which will definitely improve. One potential concern is his lack of walks, but I’m willing to pass this off as a sign of him pressing at the plate rather than a sudden loss of ability. Over the rest of the season, I believe that last year’s line of .360/.540/.900 is his baseline, with upside for more is he can turn things around quickly.
Adam Jones realizes that if he keeps this up, he will be able to achieve the dream of every Orioles player: leaving the Orioles. After never attaining an OPS above .800, Jones is now over .950 this season. The strange thing is that I am not finding any significant changes in his plate discipline or his batted ball profile. The only factor that is an obvious outlier is his 26.4% HR/FB. Last year he had a 16.7% HR/FB and his career high is a 17.8%, so it is reasonable to expect 20% to be his ceiling for the rest of 2012. In terms of home runs, he should be able to approach 30, seeing as he already has 14 on the year. I predict a line of .320/.480/.800 for the rest of the season, which captures some extra slugging relative to his career rate and his typical lack of OBP.
Carlos Beltran’s owners shouldn’t be concerned whether he will continue to produce. The only red flag is that his HR/FB will definitely decrease but, aside from that factor, his batted ball statistics are in line with his career norms. His walk rate and strikeout rate are higher than usual, but I see this as a combination of him trying to swing more since he is consistently homering as well as pitchers more inclined to avoid him. With some regression, it would be fair to expect close to his 2011 line of .380/.520/.900 over the rest of the season. The only caveat is that his health may cause him to miss games. However, while on the field, he will continue to be a great outfielder in OPS leagues.
Brandon Phillips isn’t the shiniest tool in the toolbox, but he hit two homers off Beachy yesterday. He’s gone from a 30/30 2nd baseman to a 20/20 2nd baseman to now an 18/15 2nd baseman, but that doesn’t mean you’re completely screwed if you overpaid for him on draft day. As long as Dusty hits him between Votto and Bruce, good ol’ Brandon should deliver above average R/RBI at a solid average. He might not be as sexy as an Altuve or a Jemile, but he’ll probably be a better value the rest of the way. BTW, even if you didn’t own him last night, the best thing about BP wrecking another Beachy was we didn’t have to sit through a celebrity telethon and Sean Penn’s sourpuss. Anyway, here’s what else we saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, here’s the latest podcast. We talk about the Nats bullpen, Brandon Beachy and I read a poem I wrote for Gio Gonzalez. If that’s not enough for you, Rudy references Lil Jon and drops an F-bomb, which isn’t as deadly as an A-Bomb, but nearly as effective. Anyway II, here’s the roundup and podcast:
Zack Cozart – He homered again yesterday for his second in two days because he wants to make it up to me for his early season struggles. At least that’s what my ventriloquist dummy wearing a Cozart jersey told me.
Mat Latos – 7 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. I want everyone to promise me one thing. If you don’t want to own Latos right now because of his ERA roller coaster ride, write it down somewhere that you won’t read until next March. So when you see his 3.50 ERA from 2012, you don’t draft him and then want to drop him for the first 6 weeks of next season too.
R.A. Dickey – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 11 Ks. When asked in the clubhouse where’d these strikeouts come from, Dickey said he pictured all the batters were his childhood bullies who used to pick on him. Must’ve been hard for a guy named Dickey who was a knuckleballer.
Frank Francisco – Pitched a perfect inning for his 11th save. Only during the Closepocalypse could a guy with 11 saves and a 7.13 ERA appear good.
James McDonald – Had another great start (7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks). E I E I Own!
Kevin Youkilis – The Greek God of Limps has returned, and homered. Opa!
Adrian Gonzalez – Comatose Red Sox Fan, “A-Gon is in the outfield? So Ortiz is playing first and it’s interleague play?” Nope. “Our pitching is doing well, but we’re trying to squeeze in more offense?” Nuh-uh. “Please, tell me we’re at least in first for the Wild Card.” You might want to sit down for this. The A-Gonz outfield experiment is lasting beyond interleague as the Sawx are stuck with Middlebrooks and Youuuuuuuk at the corners. Maybe while in the outfield, A-Gonz can reacquaint himself with the area behind the fences. Not sure if he’ll play there enough to gain OF-eligibility outside 5 game leagues, but it can’t hurt his value. Hopefully he can avoid the injury curse that is befalling all the Sawx OFs (Crawford, Ellsbury, McDonald, Ross, Kalish….)
Scott Podsednik – I’m gonna go out on a limb and say if you played any post-collegiate outfield, you could receive a call from the Red Sox. This includes Matt Stairs’ Steak and Keggers Softball League.
Gavin Floyd – 3 2/3 IP, 9 ER pitching at home against the Twins. Yowza! Floyd is generally a safe 5th/6th SP in shallow leagues, but you just ask that he does this against a good opponent so you have a proper heads-up. Party foul, Gavin.
Gordon Beckham – 3rd HR in 4 games (and Vernon Wells robbed him of a HR the game before that). Not bad for the most British-sounding 2B since William Randolph.
Travis Wood – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks, as he was recalled by the Cubs to take Volstad’s spot in the rotation. Wood had a 4.57 ERA in Triple-A this year. That’s depressing, until you think about how fortunate you are that you’re not the Red Sox outfield.
Bryan LaHair – Sat out yesterday because he’s in a 1-for-20 skid. And here I thought he’d hit .400 this year. I’m glad I didn’t request MLB to defrost Ted Williams’ head. On May 11th, when I told you to sell him, he had a .384 average with 8 homers. He now has 10 homers with a .315 average. He could be a platoon player by June 15th.
Alfonso Soriano – 1-for-4 with his 4th homer. At least he’s having the decency to hit so it’s not completely laughable that the Cubs will find someone to take him off their hands. Kinda laughable, just not completely.
Jeff Francoeur – 2-for-4 with his 3rd homer in… Let’s see how many times have I told you to own him in the last week?
Matt Carpenter – Left yesterday’s game with an injury to his side. Just when you thought the oblique couldn’t get any vaguer, teams are now just calling it an injured side.
Michael Bourn – 2 homers yesterday. That’s typically a season for him. Did his 3rd round drafter Matthew Berry erase his memory and Bourn suddenly assumed a power-hitting identity?
Vance Worley – Hopes to pitch again even after visiting Dr. Freeze. Here’s what frequent commenter, Cahhhhh-stanza, said, “Jo Anne’s son, Vance, went to see Dr. Freeze Monday for a 2nd opinion. His first opinion? Your mom’s best acting was on Rowan & Martin’s Laugh-In. His second opinion? I think a 12-18 month vacation may be in your future.”
Roy Halladay – 6 IP, 5 ER. I’m officially concerned. Is this the beginning of the end for him being a number one? Citizens Flank is obviously not the friendliest of ballparks for pitchers, but that hasn’t changed from the last two years. Luckily, you didn’t draft him and just went with Anibal and Gio to anchor your staff like I told you.
P.J. Walters – The ex-Cardinal had a complete game victory vs. the White Sox – giving up 2 ER and 8 Ks. That’s 3-for-3 in quality starts so far. His minor league stats don’t hint at this being his breakout season, but maybe PJ’s turning into a sleeper.
Robinson Cano – 1-for-3 with his 5th homer. Still off the 8 homer, Ian Desmond pace car.
Josh Bell – 1-for-4 with a homer. He was hitting the feathers out of the chicken (that’s a saying) in Triple-A. He was also striking out more than a beagle in heat (also, a saying). I wouldn’t want him for the long term, but he has everyday playing time and might stay hotter than a camel riding a furnace (not a saying).
J.J. Putz – 3rd blown save last night with 1 IP, 2 ER. Dickey and Putz’s fortunes seem to be going in opposite directions like Siamese twins connected at the back. After Putz lived up to his name last night, it might be wise for his owners to handcuff themselves to David Hernandez.
Ubaldo Jimenez – 6 IP, 3 ER, 11 baserunners (6 BBs), 2 Ks. Six walks and two Ks? Did Francisco Liriano’s doctor do some ‘minor’ surgery on Ubaldo?
Tyler Clippard – Davey Johnson reached into his bag of relievers and pulled out Clippard to save the game against the Phillies. Nice 1-2-3 inning. Now get back in the bag, Tyler, before Davey Boy goes all bulldog on ya. BB-Rod is safe to drop for Craig “The Pistol” Stammen, Sean Burnett or Tyler Clippard. If I were picking them up, I’d do it in reverse order. Unless you’re reading this in a mirror. .tops dlab eht eciton neve t’nac ,doog skool riah ruoY
Ryan Zimmerman – Sat out yesterday with shoulder soreness. I’m hoping it’s a coverup because Jordan Zimmermann pitched and they only have one jersey.
Alex Avila – Hit his 5th homer yesterday. If someone grew bored of the .220-ish hitting Avila, he’s a decent guy to grab off waivers. No reason to think he can’t get back to respectable. That sounds like a title of an R&B album, Get Back To Respectable. A soulful journey as one woman gets back on her feet after a terrible breakup, as sung by Grey Albright.
C.J. Wilson – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners (1 Hit), 7 Ks. Of course, if you read any other site, the lead story is Pujols hit a home run. Then twenty minutes of Bruce Harper, then what does Pujols think of Bryce Harper.
Elliot Johnson – 3-for-4 with his 8th steal. Kinda annoyed I missed out on him in the RCL, but I got Cozart homering now. Small booya.
Carlos Pena – 2-for-5, 3 RBIs and his 6th homer as he hit leadoff. …HA! Sorry, tried to keep a straight face there. The Rays are so good, Maddon can’t even Mr. Bungle them. Luke Scott also homered. As we know from past experiences, Scott and Pena only homer 5 times in a ten day span, never once.
Hanley Ramirez – 3-for-5 with 2 steals. Now him and Reyes are red hot. Or is that red-orange?
Brian Matusz – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 9 Ks against the Sawx. Tip of the hat for the huge nutsacked owners who started him in this matchup. That includes those whose nutsacks are enlarged due to a medical condition and who happened to have Matusz in their starting rotation before going to the hospital.
Wilson Betemit – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer. Sure, I should’ve went with Betemit over Ryan Zimmerman, but a lot of good that’s doing me now!
Adam Wainwright – 4 hit shutout against the Padres with 9 Ks. We told everyone who listened to last week’s podcast to buy him as it only seemed like a matter of time before he Wainwrighted the ship. We have one word for how that must’ve tasted…
Yan Gomes – The Brazilian whacks another one! Just an FYI to those of you who are getting sick of LaHair in that slot.
Bryce Harper and Mike Trout were called up by their respective clubs this weekend. When Bryce left Syracuse for his first major league game, the grand opening of the “Eye Black Isn’t Just For The Ultimate Warrior And Owls” store turned into a Going Out of Business sale. When Mike Trout left Salt Lake for the Angels, Bobby Abreu’s three year Going Out of Business sale came to an abrupt end. Bobby, “I still have some seven-pitch walks to sell!” With Trout and Harper called up, the minor leagues were closed. There’s no more minor leagues. In his major league debut, Harper looked like all that and a bag of douche. Who over the age of twelve flips their helmet off when they’re running? Wait, is he over the age of twelve? Definitely more auspicious of a debut than Trout’s (or is that inauspicious?). (NSFWUYWAAPPH (Not Safe For Work Unless You Work At A Porn Production House): In case you didn’t see it, Harper roped a double to deep center while someone behind home plate dropped their pants. (Here’s Bryce Harper’s first major league hit in motion.) I can’t wait to go to Cooperstown in 25 years and see Bryce Harper’s 1st major league hit. The curator showing a group of middle school kids, “Here’s the film of Babe Ruth calling his shot and here’s Bryce Harper with a booty call.” In 50 years, Bryce Harper showing his granddaughter, “There’s your PawPaw getting his first major league hit.” “PawPaw, are you the one with your ass showing?” “No, sweetheart, that’s how fans celebrated baseball players when I played. A great time to be alive.”) Mike Trout, nor the fans behind him, flashed anything. Whatevs, I like him better for this year. I went over my Mike Trout fantasy back in November and it mostly still applies. Only thing I’d change is how many ABs I gave him there. There I gave him 55/7/30/.270/20 in 300 ABs. Give him 400 ABs and his stats move to 70/10/40/.275/25. Basically what you were hoping to get from Bourjos. That’s giddy up, the un-sarcastic excitement. As for Bryce Harper, I like him a lot and he’s worth grabbing. But he’s also worth trading if you can in redraft leagues. He hasn’t really pounded minor league pitching since last July. There were guys on his own minor league roster that were out-performing him. He’s going to be a great one; I’ll give him that. I just don’t think once Morse and/or Zimmerman return he’s even going to stay in the majors. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Scott Downs – The Sciosciapath replaced Walden after one blown save. If only he was as reactionary with over 35-year-old outfielders. Here’s a scenario: Downs gets five straight saves and Walden scuffles in a set-up role because his confidence is fractured after being removed from the closer role that quickly. In that scenario, Downs stays the closer for a few months, maybe the rest of the season. Another scenario: Downs blows a game and Walden’s back in there after a week. More succinctly, you need to hold both guys. Even more succinctly, hold both. Personally, I don’t think Sciosciapath’s move is a long-term cure for Scott Downs’ Syndrome.
Peter Bourjos – Didn’t play for the Angels yesterday because of Mike Trout. Bourjos also didn’t play on my fantasy team, because I cut him immediately when I saw he was losing time to Trout. Later, schmohawk! Thanks for the month of the .167 average and 1 homer and 1 steal! Wish I would’ve known your last name was French for “Bore the crap of youse.”
Albert Pujols – For the first time in his career, Pujols is one day away from having his first homerless month. Like how Roger Maris’s family followed around McGwire in ’98, Juan Pierre’s family will be following around Pujols.
Kyle Lohse – 6 IP, 3 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks. Easily his worst start of the year. Uh-oh, Mr. April may be done. Hehe. That’s punny!
Josh Hamilton – Left yesterday’s game with a stiff back, which is less embarrassing than a stiff front.
Tim Hudson – 5 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Pirates. Not a tough matchup, but I wouldn’t mind Hudson as a 5th fantasy starter on a team. He usually keeps his ratios in check and does decent with Ks — or simply oK.
Jay Bruce – 4 homers in 4 straight games with yesterday’s being a slam & legs. BRUUUUUUU + UUUUUUUUUUU + UUUUUUUUUUU = Excitement for Red Square. Damn, was supposed to equal excitement for Reds outfielder, Jay Bruce. Think I forgot to carry a U.
Mat Latos – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 10 baserunners (0 Walks), 4 Ks vs. the Asstros. Latos seems like a guy who asks you at the bar, “Did you say something to me?” like he’s picking a fight even if you didn’t say anything to him. Not much to like about his ERA so far either (5.97). I still want to remain patient with him. He will get better.
Drew Smyly – 6 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Yankees. The Emoticon just had a most impressive start on Saturday and has his ERA down for the count of 1.23. Last week when I said to grab him, it was a bit of a “What the hey, pick him up” waiver wire acquisition. Now, it’s more of a “What the hey, seriously, pick him up.” His LOB% is a bit of an eephus that’s about to get smacked, but his K-rate should prevent him from falling too hard.
David Phelps – Will take over for Freddy Garcia in the rotation. A terrible starter being replaced by a middling middle reliever. Phelps looks like he might have a 4-ish ERA and a 7-ish K-rate. Wouldn’t even be news if it was for any team other than the Yankees. Maybe the Yankees can exact some revenge and trade David Phelps to the Mariners for the rights to Jay Buhner Jr.
Robinson Cano – Batting third for the Yankees for the first month and has 4 RBIs. Chris Davis got 4 RBIs on Saturday. The number nine hitter for the Orioles, Andino, has 6 RBIs. I will now put on a gorilla suit and mail myself to Africa.
Anibal Sanchez – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 14 Ks. I heard Justin Bieber’s Boyfriend song on the radio, and I immediately thought of Anibal. No lie. It’s not gay since his name’s Anibal. It’s gay that I was listening to Bieber.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-4 with his 1st home run. Is it bad I actually had to look at three different sites to make sure I was seeing right that he hit a home run? Yeah, probably. Now hit nine more tomorrow and we’ll be so cool again. I’ll even massage your sore knee with my tongue. What, it’s the strongest muscle!
Josh Johnson – 5 1/3IP, 5 ER. Obviously got tired of that reputation that he could only pitch well when he was healthy.
Hanley Ramirez – 0-for-3; Jose Reyes – 0-for-3, as they both bat .205 on the year. Maybe move both of them to 2nd base and let Omar Infante play shortstop and 3rd base. I’m thinking of creative solutions; don’t kill the messenger.
Max Scherzer – 4 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 3 Ks… Why was he pulled so early? Oh, 14 baserunners in less than 5 innings. Wow. It’s nearly mathematical impossible to have 14 baserunners, only record 14 outs and only allow 3 earned runs. I hate to give up on him and drop him to waivers, but I’d want to see at least one good start on my bench before starting him in any league.
Matt Thornton – Got the save yesterday. My over/under for Santiago losing the job was the end of April. Not too shabby. Yeah, I do think Thornton takes over, at least that’s what I’ve been writing on this site that you are reading, but as of right now Ventura is still saying Santiago’s the closer. We shall see. Or not! Your choice.
Gavin Floyd – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 9 Ks as he took a no hitter into the 7th vs. the Red Sox. But the Red Sox have Nick Punto, Marlon Byrd, Ryan Sweeney, Mike Aviles, Cody Ross and Kelly Shoppach in their lineup! Somehow the Red Sox have been able to bamboozle fantasy owners into thinking they’re good, even though Sweeney, Aviles, Shoppach, Byrd, Ross and Punto are all guys coming from other teams where they were marginal starters. Right now, the Red Sox lineup looks like cemetery of fallen fantasy value.
Jake Peavy – 9 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks. If you Google “resurgence,” you’re going to find five articles about Jake Peavy and five about al-Qaeda. Of those ten articles, 2 mention selling Peavy, 3 mention buying him and 10 mention injuries.
Edwin Encarnacion – Three games in a row with a homer and capped this three-peat (trademark Pat Riley) with a slam & legs yesterday. I’m really happy for all his owners. I’m not bitter at all. I’ll probably get Edwin’s as-of-right-now stats (7 homers, 4 steals) from Ryan Zimmerman by August. The RZ: Brand new from Toyota. Flashy exterior and tons of hype, then, as soon as you drive it off the lot, you regret the purchase and it breaks down for 5 months.
Jose Bautista – 1-for-4 with his 2nd steal as he sits on 3 homers for the year while Omar Infante struts around like Buddy Love.
Kenley Jansen – Got two saves this weekend. Mattingly’s saying some shizz about Guerra needing a rest. I’ll say Mattingly needs to give that a rest. Mattingly seems like the type that can’t admit he was wrong (or so says his Rip Torn-ish looking, mugshot-taking ex-wife), so he may pull one of these deals where he never says Jansen is now the closer, but Jansen just starts getting saves until it’s obvious he’s the closer.
Chris Capuano – 6 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 9 Ks. What’s this the longest post ever? Maronna mia! Yeah, I’d pick up Capuano. Solid Ks in a good pitchers’ park.
Wade Miley – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks. He’s pitching above his head right now. Well, he’s not a sidearmer. Cute, Random Italicized Voice. I mean, he can’t keep this up. That’s what she said! What? Miley has NL-Only appeal for now, but I’d be careful in mixed leagues.
Gerardo Parra – 2-for-3 with a steal. You know who Parra is playing like right now? A guy that is getting a chance to play and wants to prove himself, i.e., he’s building a wall of stats to fend off any other Diamondback options, a *pinkie to mouth* Parra-pet.
Patrick Corbin – He was the pitcher the Diamondbacks called up for Monday’s start, relegating Collmenter to shoveling crap out of the bullpen. “Hey, Shaw, will you stop pooping on the bullpen mound?” “Why, we got Collmenter now.” That was overheard in the D-Backs bullpen this weekend. Corbin had a solid K/BB and could surprise some major league hitters. The downside is he’s 15 years old (22) and probably is just a placeholder for Bauer or Skaggs. BTW, Bauer and Skaggs opened for Big & Rich. Their big song, “Save a Morse, Ride a LaRoche.”
Dexter Fowler – At four homers, he has 2 more homers than steals. Fowler also weighs the same as one of Stanton’s thighs. Cust killin’ myself.
Frank Francisco – Blew the save yesterday as the closepocalypse sweeps through the Mets. Jesse Orsoco’s house fell on top of Frank Francisco’s legs and Ram-Ram got the save. I don’t think a change of closer is imminent here, but that’s more because the Mets’ other options haven’t been great and my brain can only compute 17 closer changes per roundup. Overload! Overload! Red alert! Let me off the closerousel!
Tim Lincecum – 8 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks cutting his ERA to about half what it was two weeks ago. Sure, this game was against the Padres, who had one good hitter coming into this year and he’s now batting under .200 and in the 7th hole and his name rhymes with Maynotbeasgoodasyouthoughtbin, but I’m guessing it’s too late to buy low on Lincecum.
Wilson Betemit – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in his last three games as he played third and made Reynolds’ excuse, “It’s not me, it’s 3rd base,” look bad.
Matt Garza – 7 IP, 0 ER, 1 Hit, 1 Walk, 10 Ks. You can’t spell Garza without Rza, so you know he got The W with no help from Ol’ Dirty Barney.
Grant Balfour – 0 IP, 3 ER and his 2nd blown save, Matt Capps just gives up runs for S’s and G’s and, while they might not be in the same team, Carlos Marmol seems to be picking up whatever it is that Collmenter is shoveling. I don’t think any of them are in serious danger of losing their closer jobs (this week). All three teams are going nowhere fast and they’d be better served to get to the trading deadline with a closer to trade.
Brandon Inge – About to sign with the A’s. That’ll fix the A’s! Goodbye, cellar! There’s gotta be a Moneyball sequel with the little white kid from The Blind Side playing Inge and Don Swayze playing Billy Beane.
Bartolo Colon – 8 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks. Remarkable turnaround of his career continues since his fat and bone marrow stem cell surgery. At what point does Bartolo Colon surgery become as prevalent as Tommy John surgery? It doesn’t seem like you need an injury to get the surgery either. Get the surgery and you’re just good. The doctor who did the surgery is out of Boca Raton, the old Jew shuffleboard capital of the world. Soon we’re gonna have Ira Shlomowitz and Harvey Edelbaum, once legendary mah-jong players, throwing 95 MPH, and asking the home plate ump if they can go to their mouth, not because it’s cold, but because they need to adjust their dentures. Having their choice of teams to sign with, Ira says, “I think I’m gonna pitch for the Mariners. Seattle has great herring.”
First off, the Master Standings should be up next week, so it’s time to quit fooling around. You don’t want to be trailing a Yahoo! expert, do you? Secondly, isn’t it frustrating when your top pick struggles early?
According to the Razzball Player Rater, of the 20 players we selected at least once in round 1, only Matt Kemp (Congrats Boesch Hog, Blue Heaven, 7 Js and 2 Jeys, and AZ Kush Mafia for making Matt the first overall selection!) and Roy Halladay have put up 1st round numbers. Justin Verlander (16) and Hanley Ramirez (20) are close enough, but where’s everbody else? Miguel Cabrera (93), Adrian Gonzalez (132), Joey Votto (137), and Albert Pujols (346) are all under-performing badly. How about Ryan Braun (272) and Jose Bautista (292)? Oh, well, it’s early. Don’t panic. They’ll start hitting eventually. And, of course, there are always other players who are outperforming their draft position to keep you competitive. Like Josh Hamilton (2, ADP: 35) and Krispie Young (6, ADP: 95.)
Expert League: As was expected, some of the experts have other leagues they are more worried about, so their teams here are neglected. Worst is Team Emack (Eric Mack), whose only moves came on April 1, when Michael Pineda was placed on the DL and Chipper Jones added. 3 minutes later came his final move, replacing Chipper with Bryce Harper. Currently the team features 8 injured players, including 6 in the starting lineup. Rudy and Grey are following different strategies, as Grey leads the league with 29 moves, while Rudy is giving his drafted players a chance to prove themselves, having added just 3 players. Mastersball Carey (Ryan Carey) is setting the pace with 99 points, followed by Secret Treasure Loaf (Andy Behrens) at 79.5.
Trades: A busy week, with 18 trades consummated. That includes one in the ECFBL where the Silver Bullet Bandits and Copales Charros undid an earlier trade when one of the traded players, Brett Gardner, was injured. Copales Charros also traded Matt Holliday to Uncle Robbies Daffiness Boys for Felix Hernandez. There were some surprising trades for saves. In Ones are GOOD right, NYC Matthole traded Drew Stubbs to Unlucky Llamas for Fernando Rodney. Army of Llamas sent Matt Wieters to Bushwood Varmint Cong for Grant Balfour in the Epic Beardmen Division. Probably the biggest name traded was Roy Halladay, in RCL 22, who was sent by Manitoba Manwhores with Coco Crisp to FWG Herders for James Shields and Mariano Rivera. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums.
League Leaders
Broth’s Baseball Stars (Fausto or Roberto?) was the top hitting team this week. They hit .360 with 17 home runs and 72 RBI, 50 runs, and 6 steals. Matt Kemp was their 5th best hitter! Ahead of him were Freddie Freeman (.478/14 RBI), Josh Hamilton (.462/11 RBI), Mike Napoli (.440/10 RBI), and Derek Jeter (.407/6 RBI).
Average: .360 (Broth’s Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)
Runs: 58 (Army Of Llamas – Epic Beardmen Division)
HR: 20 (AZ Kush Mafia – RCL 29)
RBI: 72 (Broth’s Baseball Stars – Fausto or Roberto?)
SB: 17 (Team Everett – Beef SAGNOF!)
CROP DUSTIN (RCL 46) had some top pitching numbers with 5 wins, 6 saves, and an ERA of 1.11 and 0.99 WHIP. Their lineup features Clayton Kershaw (9 K/0.00/0.71), Matt Cain (0.00/0.33), and Brandon Beachy (0.00/0.68).
ERA: 1.05 (Dixie Rebels - Fantasy Master Lotharios)
WHIP: 0.69 (Poorjays – Beef SAGNOF!)
TEAM OF THE WEEK - April 16 – 22
The Fredsies (ECFBL)
83/287 (.289)
45 R/18 HR/44 RBI/3 SB
72.1 IP
70K/8 W/1.62/1.09/11 S
The Fredsies strong pitching won them the weekly honors over some tough competition. They had 8 different pitchers record wins, while 6 added saves. Vance Worley tossed 7 scoreless innings with 11 Ks. Rafael Betancourt and Henry Rodriguez each contributed 3 saves. On the offensive side, Mike Napoli (.440/7 R/5 HR/10 RBI) and Matt Kemp (.381/4 Runs/3 HR/6 RBI) were once again dominant.
There’s a saying in Arizona, “Just when you get really good at your job, your career hits a wall and a Mexican comes along and takes the job from you.” The only difference in Krispie Young‘s case is that Gerardo Parra is Venezuelan. Krispie was literally the only one hitting on one of my teams and now… I’m crying into my soup, because the soup was bland and my tears are salty. I’m resourceful. But that’s one sonavawrench thrown into my team’s plans! As of press (post? blog? this shizz?) time, details were scant and info was un-nigh and far between. The D-Backs are saying it’s a shoulder bruise, but he’s going for an MRI. Hopefully, the MRI doesn’t reveal any structural damage or structurel demega on a typewriter with keys transposed. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:
SIKE! Before we get into today’s roundup, we have a double SIKE! First, “SIKE” is for a huge announcement we have coming later today. The second “SIKE!” is the podcast is up for download. The announcement is actually talked about a bit on the podcast. So you get a sneak peek (a sneak listen?) if you so choose to… It’s something I’m proud of that isn’t mustache related. I think you guys (4 girls) are gonna love it too. Anyway II, here’s the roundup and podcast:
Justin Upton – Has no home runs and no RBIs and is batting .212. Don’t worry though, it’s only a jammed thumb he’s been nursing. Nursing a thumb? Thumb sucker! The injury to his thumb was rumored to happen when Kirk Gibson missed a meeting and a substitute coach let Justin lead a rousing game of 7-up. Little did he realize the strength of Paul Goldschmidt would injure his thumb. Upton sat yesterday and he’s going for an MRI today, too. Hey, if Diamondbacks send a pitcher for an MRI, they can get a pickup game in the waiting room! I’m sure one day of rest will fix something that’s been bothering Upton for a week. For those without the sarcasm gene — or sanscasm — I’m concerned about Upton. Too soon to panic. Sit tight. Simon didn’t say sit tight. Gotcha.
Santiago Casilla – Got the save yesterday and backing up what Bochy had said earlier about Casilla being first in line, which backs up what I said last week when I grabbed Casilla only to drop him the next day and watch Rudy pick him up. FMFBBL.
Gio Gonzalez – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks. Yum-yum.
Brad Lidge – Got the save yesterday as Johnson keeps Eeny Meeny Miney and Moe’ing his closers. So friggin’ stupid. HanK-Rod has a zero ERA and strikes out everyone; Lidge puts runners on every game and it gets harrowing! (Gets harrowing? It sounds like I’m writing crappy Buffy fan-fiction.)
Colby Lewis – Mr. Popular on Razzball’s 2012 expert leagues overcame a Sparky Anklebiter 2-run HR in the 1st inning to deliver a very solid win in Boston (7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks). The jeers in Boston started with “Hey Colby — you stink like cheese” and “Hey Colby — go back to your college in Maine with your frigin’ liberal ahtsy fahtsies” to “Hold me, Colby” by the fat drunk girl in the Nomah jersey.
Josh Hamilton – 3-for-5 with a HR and 5 RBIs. Now at 5 HRs and 11 RBIs with a .413 AVG. Someone’s got his eye on the MVNK award (Most Valuable Non-Kemp).
Mike Napoli – 3 for 5, 4 RBIs, 3 runs, 2 homers and a 1B with catcher eligibility.
Giancarlo Stanton – 1-for-3 as he was moved to 6th in the order. This is what Ozzie was thinking about for the last 5 games during his exile. So that means Stanton’s gonna have to hit, like, 40 homers in a game to convince Ozzie he was wrong. You gotta better chance of Ozzie being named Little Havana’s Man of the Year. Andy Garcia’s got that shizz on lock for a decade anyway.
Heath Bell – Throws a scoreless 9th for his first save. Now down to a 9.00 ERA. It says something when that’s actually pretty good considering all the drafted closers this year.
Hanley Ramirez – Game winning 3-run HR at Crayola Canyon. No es mal contente!
Starlin Castro – 2-for-4 with his 7th steal. You know who loves Castro (the non-killing people one)? This guy with two thumbs, a mustache, two eyes, a terrible Jersey accent and a cougar girlfriend. That’s who! (But doesn’t own him anywhere. Sad trombone.)
Ryan Dempster – 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. Whenever I see his name I can’t help singing, “Demps and a bump, Demps and a bump, we like the starters that go Demps and a bump!” Maybe it’s just me.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Could miss a few days with a death in his family. It wasn’t Miggy or Melky. Anyone hear from Everth Cabrera recently?
Kyle Lohse – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Mr. April throws another beaut. His ERA is sub-1.00. Maybe he can give some pointers to Lincecum.
Austin Jackson – Just when you want to believe he’s turned a corner, he goes 0-for-4 with 3 Ks…..against the Royals….with Bruce Chen pitching (for the first 2 Ks).
Adam Lind – 3-for-3, 3 RBIs with his 1st homer. I’m not going to mention how you wanted to drop him so bad because he had 9 bad games in a 162 game season, but I’m warning you now. If he goes on a tear, I’m gonna take off the gloves and not only mention it by saying I’m not mentioning it, but I’m going to actually mention it.
Jose Bautista – 1-for-2, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer. Maybe he doesn’t want to spite me by having his first bad season after it took two years for me to like him.
Brett Lawrie – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer. #outofthe7hole
Javy Guerra – Blew yesterday’s save. Over/under that Jansen is the closer by July moves to June.
Jason Heyward – 1-for-4 with his 4th steal. Did someone buy him for Christmas a ticket to the Davey Lopes SAGNOF seminar?
Drew Smyly – 6 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks vs. the Royals. Obviously a solid start, but I haven’t changed my opinion on him from last time. Outside of deep leagues, it’s tough to own him.
Yovani Gallardo – Nice home start against Dodgers (7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 7 Ks). Even better — just one BB after 7 BBs in his first two starts. Then K-Rod comes in and lets Ethier go-yardo to blow the lead. At least he got the quality start, right QSers!
Mat Gamel – 2-for-3, 3 runs, 1 RBI and a slam & legs. 1st homer of the year, but his 3rd steal. Guess if you’re trying to replace Prince, it’s best to start at steals and work your way up from there.
Brett Gardner – 2-for-2, 3 runs, 1 RBI and a steal. Here’s an idea for those that lost Ellsbury. After Gardner is sitting out a game and his owners are frustrated, try to trade a small piece for him. I think he gets 50 steals.
Mark Teixeira – Out a few days with influenza. A-Rod said, “Don’t look at me. I only have herpes. No flu.”
Johan Santana – 1 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 5 baserunners. Left after having throwing 55 pitches. He should have to donate this game’s salary to the victims of Bernie Madoff.
Wei-Yin Chen – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks. First game: 5 2/3 IP; 2nd game: 5 1/3 IP, and by the 6th inning the Orioles are hungry again for another pitcher.
Wandy Rodriguez – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 3 Ks. You’d take that start from Wandy every day and twice on Muesday.
Johnny Damon – Should be ready in a week. Those with a “Good Hair” category in their league should be pumped.
Gordon Beckham – 0-for-3. Now hitting .103. It’s getting so bad that they pinch hit Fukudome for him. Or maybe Fukudome thought he heard his name when Ventura realized that Beckham was coming up for a critical 9th inning AB.
Jesus Montero – 1-for-4 as the Mariners gave him the start at catcher (3rd of year!) and DH’d John Jaso. That’s how much they didn’t want to start Miguel Olivo.
Jamie Moyer – 7 IP with no ER at Coors. Granted, only 1 K and against the Padres but still. Hope they have tapioca pudding at the post-game buffet.
Jon Lester – 2 IP, 7 ER, 12 baserunners. Fickin’ ay. Give ‘em some chicken and beer if it’ll stop him from throwing a crappy start like this again.
Cincinnati Reds – Their 4th through 8th hitters last night (Rolen, Bruce, Ludwick, Stubbs, and Hanigan) are all hitting .200 or less. At least they’re not clogging up the bases right, Dusty?
Chase Utley – Phils’ GM said Utley’s knee “seems to be improving.” Last week the GM said Utley’s knee “seems to be improving.” So Utley isn’t the only thing that’s broken.
