Fantasy Baseball Advice

The top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and even the catchers are ranked ahead of them for depth.  All the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2012 fantasy baseball rankings.  (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to things a little more seamlessly).  Shortstops usually get the short end of the stick when I’m drafting.  If I don’t get a top guy from the first two rounds, I’ll probably just take a flyer on some late round player.  Honestly, I don’t even really want to mess with Tulo, Reyes and Ramirez.  So, to amend what I just said, I usually just take a late flyer on a shortstop.  I honestly can’t remember the last time I drafted a 1st or 2nd round shortstop, and I play in about ten leagues per year.  In leagues that play a middle infielder, then you might need two of these schmohawks.  Hopefully, you can grab two decent 2nd basemen and only need one of these guys.  As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Troy Tulowitzki – His projections are found at the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.

2. Jose Reyes – His projections are found at the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.

3. Hanley Ramirez – His projections are found at the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.

4. Elvis Andrus -  This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Asdrubal.  I call this tier, “Only four shortstops in and it’s your last chance for a decent one.  Yay.”  Maybe it’s Arlington, maybe it’s the lineup around him, but I still think he can hit 7 to 10 homers and be the new Reyes.  He’s still only 23 years old and he’s shown durability and speed.  All he needs is to find a little power stroke and we’re looking at a guy that is gonna shoot up a few rounds next year.  2012 Projections:  105/7/60/.285/40

5. Starlin Castro – Castro’s gonna be the Jeter of the Cubs.  Players on the Cubs are gonna come and go and Castro’s gonna be there, hitting .300, teen homers and steal 20-ish bases.  For a long time.  (Note #1:  I wrote the preceding then decided to use my Google machine to see if anyone’s made that comparison before.  Sure enough, yup.  Dozens of people.  There’s even a crappy Bleacher Report slideshow of Jeter and Castro that has five pictures total that are flip-flopped five times to drive up pageviews.)  (Note #2:  If you skipped the first note, let’s act like I invented the Castro/Jeter comparison.)  (Note #3:  There’s no note number three.)  I’m sure I’m the first person to think of the Jeter vs. Castro comparison.  Prescient isn’t just a word I can’t spell without a spellchecker!  (Note #4:  Thanks for ignoring the first note.)  2012 Projections:  100/12/70/.310/20

6. Jimmy Rollins – You know when you show up at a party early and no one else is there and you’re stuck talking to people you don’t know?  That’s like drafting a player the year before he breaks out.  “So, how do you know the host of the party?  You met him at AA?  Cool.  You know, I actually have another party I have to get to.”  It’s equally bad showing up sober to a party late and everyone is drunk and acting a fool.  That’s like drafting an older player who finally becomes useless.  “So, you put flash frames of Masonic imagery in your home movies?  Interesting… I think I’m gonna head home.” And before you know it you’re cleaning up vomit off your shoes because of the random guy who couldn’t resist the Jager.  No one wants to be the first or last person at the party.  I get it.  You’re running the risk of being last on Rollins and having to clean up his puke, but I think a car load of girls is about to show up and the party has one more rally left in it.  2012 Projections:  80/14/55/.270/24

7. Asdrubal Cabrera – Let’s put what I have to say aside for one second.  Bill James says Asdrubal should go 16/15/.273.  He gives Rollins 16/25/.262, Castro 8/21/.312 and Andrus 4/39/.281.  Those are relatively the same with Rollins getting the edge because of steals and power.  Rollins is obviously the most likely to get those numbers or get injured.  Castro doesn’t have huge power, but he’s better in steals and average.  Andrus is way better in steals and slightly better in average.  So why is Asdrubal last?  He never hit more than 6 homers in any other professional season.  He just pulled a 25 homer, “Hey, look I’m Ben Zobrist!” season out of his back pocket.  All of those other shortstops have done all of those numbers before.  Andrus easily has speed, Rollins has done those numbers for multiple seasons and Castro is five years Asdrubal’s junior and he just went 10/22 and hits .300 like it’s his job (which it is), i.e., I’m not drafting Asdrubal with his current price tag.  2012 Projections:  80/14/70/.270/15

8. Derek Jeter – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Bonifacio.  I call this tier, “Where’s all the freakin’ shortstops?”  What a mess this position is.  That’s it; only 7 shortstops?  For serious?  That’s ridiculous.  Fold the position and move everyone on the field thirty feet to their right.  Or count pitchers’ hitting for fantasy and forget about shortstops.  Last three years, Jeter’s homers have been 18, 10 and 6.  As we know from 3rd grade math problems, next year Jeter’s gonna hit a negative two homers.  Hey, Garrett Atkins, get out of Jeter’s earth skin?!  2012 Projections:  90/10/60/.275/15

9. Alexei Ramirez – I dislike this guy a shizzload.  His end of the year stats of 17-ish homers and 10-ish steals look all right, but to get there it’s, like, 3 homers and 1 and a half steals per month.  Who even steals half bags?  Fat and/or lazy guys, and Alexei isn’t fat the last time I checked.  Oh, and when you’re waiting for 3 homers and 1+ steal a month, it’s utterly yawnstipating.  2012 Projections:  75/17/80/.270/10

10. Erick Aybar – The best thing Aybar has going for him is Scioscia loves him like a fat kid loves cake.  When the best thing for you is when a Sciosciapath likes you, you’re in trouble.  He gave Jeff Mathis 2000 ABs!  2012 Projections:  80/6/50/.280/24

11. J.J. Hardy – You trusting J.J. Hardy as your shortstop?  Not rhetorical!  Seriously, are you?  He wasn’t even drafted last year and he’s ranked 11th, and it’s not like he was this prospect that suddenly emerged and that’s why he wasn’t drafted.  He’s 29 years old and has played 7 years in the majors.  You think he’s going to repeat last year or do you think he’s gonna disappoint like his other years?  Oh, God, this position is terrible.  2012 Projections:  60/19/75/.255

12. Emilio Bonifacio – A utility man who just had a career year isn’t my idea of a great draft pick.  Maybe I’m old fashioned!  Maybe when I curse I say drats!  Maybe I call my breeches knickerbockers!  Maybe I’m afraid of planes because I think they’re giant birds!  I don’t buy Bonifacio at all on the average.  That was bolstered by luck and a hitting streak where things were falling in for him…. Hmm, that’s sorta the same as luck.  I also don’t buy the power, even if it was only five homers last year.  The speed is real though, so if you can get him at a bargain and you need speed, go for it.  Remember, you’re drafting a guy that you will almost definitely want to drop two weeks into the season.  2012 Projections:  70/2/40/.260/30

13. Dee Gordon – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Alcides.  I call this tier, “Honestly, I don’t even think these guys are that great, but compared to what’s left after this, this is your last chance for exciting.”  If you don’t have a shortstop by the end of this tier, then you are punting shortstop and will end up with a waiver wire carousel of Cliff Pennington, Rafael Furcal and Jason Bartlett.  Otherwise known as Clafson Barcal, who only sounds like a character from The Wire.  Gordon is Juan Pierre at shortstop.  He’s so skinny if you put a sesame seed on his head he looks like a thumb tack.  I don’t think Gordon could hit a homer if they move the fences to standard Celebrity Softball regulation.  But he does have speed to burn, so there’s that.  2012 Projections:  80/0/30/.265/45

14. Ian Desmond – I feel like Desmond and Espinosa both get a bad rap.  Speaking of bad rap, imagine Nicki Minaj guest rapping on a Pitbull song.  Man, they are both terrible.  You’re not rhyming Kodak with Kodak, you are just repeating the same word!  Desmond was actually a bit lucky with his average last year and he strikes out a lot.  It’s not a great sign, but all the players this low have some drawbacks.  2012 Projections:  70/10/65/.250/22

15. Zack Cozart – I already went over my Zack Cozart fantasy.  I wrote it while defriending anyone that ruined Boardwalk Empire’s finale.  2012 Projections:  55/14/70/.245/20

16. Alcides Escobar – This is it.  No more upside at shortstop after this.  Unless you’re related to Everth Cabrera and you promised to draft him so he stops threatening to walk into traffic.  Alcides has the promise of 40 steal speed in those luscious gams of his.  Whether he ever wants to make good on that promise is up to him.  BTW, luscious is a totally normal adjective to describe another man’s legs.  Alcides looks like a poor man’s Aybar.  Or a Sawdust-On-The-Floor-bar.  2012 Projections:  75/5/50/.250/30

17. Jhonny Peralta – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end of the post.  I call this tier, “If you draft from here, you will rotate out your shortstop at least 5 times this year.”   I guess Peralta could be J.J. Hardy this year and bash 30 homers.  More than likely he’ll hit 17 homers and a .250 average.   I don’t buy the .299 average last year at all.  I think the God of Extra H’s came to him in April and bestowed on him his one wish — a pony that craps gold.  Then he got lucky and hit .299.  (You didn’t think he’d wish for a .299 average, did you?  I mean, wouldn’t he just wish for a .300 average?  C’mon, use your brain!)  2012 Projections:  60/17/75/.250

18. Yunel Escobar – I never know what to make of Yunel.  One year he hits 11 homers and another year he hits 14 and another year he hits 10 homers.  Will he hit 11 this year?  Maybe 12?  Or even 13?  So much to think about!  /sarcasm  2012 Projections:  70/12/45/.280/3

19. Jason Bartlett – I wouldn’t be surprised to see Bartlett traded to a team that uses him as a backup.  Luckily, that wouldn’t change his fantasy value.  Because to change values, you need value — snap!  2012 Projections:  50/3/35/.255/20

20. Rafael Furcal -  Member when Furcal was one of the top shortstops in the game?  Yeah, I don’t either.  I have a bad memory.  Who are we talking about anyway?  Ryan Klesko?  I love his sideburns!  2012 Projections:  60/7/35/.245/12

After the top 20 shortstops for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but these standout:

Tyler Pastornicky – Since the Braves like to throw prospects to the fire (to nice success), I expect they’re going to give Pastornicky, who sounds like the clergyman that Carmela made out with, every chance to play.  In the minors, he’s shown decent power for a shortstop and 20-ish speed.  I wouldn’t expect much of an average.  He might be a very cheap Ian Desmond.  That sounded better in my head than it probably did in yours.  To read further on Tyler Pastornicky 2012 fantasy, click that link-a-ma-boob.  2012 Projections:  55/7/65/.250/17

Jed Lowrie – The fact that the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball and this post both have Astros in the upside flyer section at the end of the post speaks volumes.  I share very little enthusiasm for Lowrie that others have.  Best case scenario, he hits 15 homers and steals 3 bases.  Over the course of the season, you’re looking at a guy that hits about 2 homers per month.  That gets boring by April 7th.  2012 Projections:  60/12/65/.260/3

Stephen Drew – I usually like to highlight guys at the bottom of this list to look at late, but we’re talking about shortstops here.  If you couldn’t tell from the dozen or so times I said there’s no good shortstops, here’s another indication.  For the first time in a while, Stephen Drew will not disappoint because no one is expecting anything from him.  The Royal We is not even sure if he’ll be able to play when the season rolls around.  Think about all the time we would’ve saved from drafting the two Drew boys if Mother Drew never met Father Drew.  Could someone travel back in time and make sure they never meet?  2012 Projections:  60/12/55/.270/5

As you probably know, we just went over the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball and today we give you… Hint:  it’s in the title of the post.  Oh, forget it.  Here’s our top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  And by our top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball, I mean mine, but ‘our’ sounds more official.  Like when your girlfriend catches you cheating on her and she says let’s make our breakup official and then kicks you in the balls.  The second round is the hardest to peg.  That’s just the facts of life, Blair.  There’s no way around it.  I have a theory why this is, maybe it’s fodder for its own post, but here goes the short version.  In the first round, it’s no-brainers.  In the second round, you have to complement the first guy and you want a sure thing because it’s still way too early to reach.  Also, there’s just more question marks.  Next we’ll go over the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball then top 20 1st basemen and so on and so forth as we do onto our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings as you would want them done onto you. In the top 10, I battled with maybe one or two spots, but this top 20 that I gave birth to was a true labor of love that required a C-section as I battled with myself on just about every spot. I’m pleased with what I settled on, but I could see an argument made to reshuffle some of these players. As always, tiers are mentioned and my 2012 fantasy baseball projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball:

11. Robinson Cano – This tier started in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  This tier ends at Ellsbury.  I call this tier, “Less exciting than the next tier, but more consistent.”  I really want to despise every Yankee player like everyone else outside of New York, northern New Jersey and the retirement homes of Florida, but Cano makes it hard to dislike him.  I guess, when people call him Robbie Cano, you can picture an 80′s movie bully in an Izod shirt and want to do something to him that would elicit a slow clap.  “Robbie Cano, you are not going to tell me where I can sit in the outdoor cafeteria!”  That’s you standing up to Robbie Cano at lunch.  Didn’t you always wish you had an outside cafeteria like in Can’t Buy Me Love?  Maybe it was just me.  Players don’t come much more consistent than Cano.  Pencil him in for .315, 27 homers and 100 runs and RBIs, then erase the .315 and make it .310.  Aren’t you glad you didn’t use pen?  2012 Projections:  105/27/105/.310/5

12. Jacoby Ellsbury – I surprised myself when I landed on this ranking for Ellsbury.  Like I snuck of behind myself and screamed “Boo” then added snuck into the dictionary so when I looked it up it was there and surprised myself again.  Steals can be found later in drafts.  SAGNOF!  But they can’t be found so readily with 20 homers and a .300 average.  No, not 30 homers.  That was an anomaly of an aberration on the ain’t-happening-again tip.  A moment in time that can only be described as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel touching Ellsbury’s bat.  Or maybe you can describe it differently.  Your call.  I see a few people ranking Ellsbury even higher than this, but I wouldn’t cry if I miss out on him.  Again, SAGNOF!  How did I finally conclude he should be ranked here?  I rank Reyes a couple of slots below him and Ellsbury will hit more homers.  Sure, Reyes has shortstop eligibility, but high-production outfielders aren’t exactly growing on trees, unless that was the point of The Tree of Life.  I have no idea.  2012 Projections:  110/17/70/.295/45

13. Ian Kinsler – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until CarGo.  I call this tier, “These guys could win the MVP or frustrate the shizz out of you.”  Everyone in the first and second round seems like guarantees right now.  If it were only that easy.  There will be disappointments.  I have a feeling a disappointment or two might come out of this tier because of injuries, but, as of right now, that’s just a guessing game.  Anyway, Kinsler’s BABIP last year was low, his K-rate improved, great home park, lineup protection, power is repeatable, the same for his speed… So where’s the downside?  The Rangers are a walking MASH unit and Kinsler is Hawkeye.  Last year he had 723 PAs.  That’s more PAs than James Cameron used on his last film.  There’s not a chance Kinsler sees that many PAs again.  That was a lot for even a healthy player.  Kinsler loses five homers and steals if he only gets one little bruise or bump.  Ron Washington, “Did someone say bump?”  2012 Projections:  100/25/70/.260/25

14. Jose Reyes – I almost ranked Dustin Pedroia here.  Then I thought about how Pedroia doesn’t feel like a guy that is gonna be on a championship fantasy team.  I’m sure some of youse have won with Pedroia, but his stats feel more like a guy whose numbers you luck into off waivers that end up propelling you to a championship.  I’m just a hater drinking Haterade that’s loaded with Vitamin D to enrich and fortify my haterness.  As for Reyes, he does feel like a guy that will win you a league.  Reyes gets on his up-jump-the-boogie and he carries you for a month or two at a time.  Reyes can get gully.  Can Pedroia?  I guess, but I want someone who can do something miraculous.  Like steal 50+ bases.  Also, I went over my Jose Reyes 2012 fantasy when he first signed with the Marlins.  I wrote it while teaching my neighbor how to Dougie.  2012 Projections:  110/12/50/.295/45

15. Hanley Ramirez – Manny showed how insouciance (Word of the Day!) goes from cute to tiresome as a player ages.  Hanley’s not that old yet.  Even if we’re to assume he’s a Latin 28, he still has a few years left in his tank.  Maybe the Marlins can hire Dolvett from The Biggest Loser to get Hanley to care.  “How am I supposed to give one hundred percent in the workouts when all I want to do is take a nap because of the tryptophan from the Jennie-O turkey?”  That would be me on The Biggest Loser.  If Hanley is motivated, he wins the MVP with him and his new right hand man, Jose Reyes, doing a highly-choreographed, five minute handshake every couple of innings.  2012 Projections:  90/20/105/.305/25

16. Carlos Gonzalez – Another guy that could win the MVP or be a bigger bust than Billy Butler’s (guess that’s why I titled this tier what I did).  The risk is again the health.  There’s one positive that can be taken away from CarGo’s 2011.  His walk and K-rate both improved.  His plate discipline didn’t exactly become Gandhi-like, but any improvement is a step in the right direction.  It wouldn’t shock me to see CarGo and Tulo carry the Rockies to a walk in the NL West.  Also wouldn’t shock me to see them both out by May.  There lies the rub, which would be a good name for a massage parlor.  2012 Projections:  100/25/100/.300/18

17. Andrew McCutchen – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Pedroia.  I call this tier, “Two guys I’m trying to draft everywhere and two guys I probably won’t draft.”  McCutchen can make a run at the 1st round for 2013 if he can fulfill expectations.  Would be the first time we see a Pirate in the first round of a fantasy draft since when?  Barry Bonds when he still wore a size 7 ball cap?  Eh, we’ll save that Pirate reach around for next year.  The Dread Pirate will post the same numbers as CarGo minus some average and is capable of numbers that approach Ellsbury’s 2011.  I can’t express to you how much I like The Dread Pirate this year other than telling you my failings at being able to express my Dread Pirate love.  He’s entering his prime with 30+ steal speed and 20+ homer power.  Now you likey too; thank you.  2012 Projections:  95/25/100/.275/30

18. Mike Stanton – I strongly considered putting Stanton in the Kinsler tier.  Speaking of strongly, I looked at that word for a few minutes (okay, maybe a half hour) and I thought about how strong Stanton is.  Then that took me to the site that measures homers expecting to find Stanton at the top of a list.  I wasn’t disappointed.  No one hit more “No Doubt” homers in the NL than Stanton and he was only 2nd in the majors to Jose Bautista.  Since the high left field wall will be no more in the new Miami ballpark, it could mean even more laser shots for Stanton.  Also, “down the right field line” is coming in ten feet in the new stadium so the opposite field shots that were already easy, just got easier.  I don’t giddy for many players (I’m hard, yo!), but Stanton’s a beast and I’m his beauty.  Or some other mixed up metaphor.  2012 Projections:  100/37/115/.260/7

19. Roy Halladay – I’m very hesitant to draft a pitcher in the 2nd round.  In fact, I really can’t imagine it happens.  I have Kinsler, McCutchen, Stanton, Fielder, etc. etc. etc. so much higher than most people that I’m gonna be drafting one of them instead of Halladay.  I only get one pick every 10 or so in a snake draft.  In auction leagues, I try not to go over $29, so I’m not getting a whole lot of these players anyway.  (I’ll go over snake and auction draft strategy in due time.)  If there was one pitcher I’d take in the 2nd round?  Roy G. Biv Devoe, now you know.  Yo, slick, blow.  2012 Projections:  20-7/2.50/1.05/215

20. Dustin Pedroia – He’s consistent.  Has spunk.  Needs to wear a cone so he doesn’t chew his foot.  He feels a lot more to me like an early 3rd rounder than a late 2nd rounder.  Last year he needed 731 plate appearances to get a 21/26 season.  If he hits 18 homers, we’re not even having a discussion about whether he’s a 2nd rounder or a 3rd rounder.  He’s an 18/20 player.  Can that be more?  Sure, he just had a season where he gave more.  The thing that has me feeling janky is it can also be less.  If it’s only a tad less, he’s not even a 3rd rounder.  I hate that we need his ceiling to justify his ranking, so I’m hoping someone else takes him.  Actually, I’m almost positive someone else will.  2012 Projections:  105/18/80/.295/20

After the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s lots of players, but these two stand out as guys to NOT draft:

Mark Teixeira – Te(i)x has stopped hitting for an average.  It doesn’t look like it’s coming back any time soon.  His average last year .248 looks like the bottom, but I really thought his 2010 average of .256 was the bottom, so I guess anything’s possible.  In 2012, I think this is the last time we see Te(i)x anywhere near the top 20.  Will he totally collapse as he pulls a 2011 Youuuuuk?  Probably not.  The one thing that I think will stave off the ugly is the power is still there in a much bigger way than it ever was with Youuuuuk.  Also, his park/lineup won’t let him be totally awful, then again Youuuuk’s park and lineup weren’t bad.  I don’t want Te(i)x for one big reason.  How much different is he than Konerko?  Some more runs for Te(i)x, some more average for Konerko, rest is pretty similar.  Things that make you go hmm…. 2012 Projections:  100/35/110/.260

Curtis Granderson – He’s the greatest outfielder known to man.  Even some women think he’s wonderful.  What I don’t understand is why was it that I liked him in the preseason last year and still only ranked him 88th overall?  On average, people drafted him 92nd overall last year.  Because he had a career year he’s suddenly a top twenty player?  He’s gonna be 31 years old and could hit .240.  His home runs were off the charts last year.  His counting stats were cray cray.  Rollins’s 139 runs in 2007 were the last time anyone came close to Grandy’s 136 runs from last year.  Wanna put money on it that he doesn’t score over 110 runs?  For those who think it’s a slam dunk in that lineup and ballpark, he only scored 76 runs in 2010.  He only had 67 RBIs in 2010.  A guy who can hit .240 could go through month-long dry spells where he gets dropped in the order.  If you draft Grandy in the 2nd round, you’re like a lamb led to the slaughter.  Grandy’s mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order.  2012 Projections: 100/29/90/.255/18

Baseball’s hot stove season has been largely dominated by the new-look Marlins. The last time a Miami team made such headlines in free agency, it was the controversial Miami Heat “Dream Team.” Although they did not have their own hour long ESPN special and subsequent public hatred like Lebron and his gang, the new-look Marlins have come to play. Opening a new name, a new stadium and a new brand, the Miami Marlins have been spending money indiscriminately, almost bafflingly. In the blink of an eye, the Marlins organization became populated with a fiery new manager, multiple perennial all-stars, future hall of famers, gold furniture and miniature giraffes. Seemingly not satisfied, the Marlins are rumored to be in pursuit of many of the big names still on the market. In baseball home-grown talent generally trumps big market acquisitions, but if there was a model for free agency winning championships, this certainly is not a bad start. Let’s take a minute and assess the fantasy fallout of this mind-blowing series of moves.

The first domino to fall was the Heath Bell signing, but in retrospect that is little more than a drop in the pond. The big prize was Jose Reyes, whose signing represented a bit of a shocker to the baseball world. Reyes will struggle to play full seasons (he has not exceeded 140 games played in 4 seasons), but his presence at the top of the lineup will be a major upgrade as long as he is on the field. From a fantasy perspective he gets an upgrade as he joins a lineup with more firepower than the Mets could muster. Additionally Ozzie Guillen is likely to be aggressive in his use of his leadoff hitter, meaning a return to 50 SBs is within the realm of possibility. Still, all the press surrounding this signing will likely drive up the price on draft day, and I’m not sure I’d be willing to pay it. I think it will ultimately be a better play to reap the benefits that this upgraded lineup will confer on the rest of the lineup. This becomes all the more poignant if the Marlins make another big offensive signing. Even though they missed the Pujols boat they still reportedly want to bolster the offense. Curiously, they are reportedly out on the Prince Fielder sweepstakes because apparently no matter how many tofu tacos he eats he cannot rally the Hispanic market (funny, I thought homeruns were the universal language). One possible alternative is the Cuban shortstop Cespedes. The easy transition from Cuba to Miami makes it a fit for not only the player but also for the Marlins, who help that aforementioned Hispanic market.

Lost in all of these moves is the fact that the Marlins actually had a decent squad last year. After Trader Jack McKeon took over the team they played reasonably well, and certainly have talented pieces to work around. The primary beneficiary of this managerial change was Hanley Ramirez, who rebounded from a slow start to post respectable numbers until being shut down with an injury. Hanley will likely remain on the team even with the acquisition of Jose Reyes (despite rumors that he may be shopped), and hopefully Ozzie Guillen can motivate the superstar in the same way that Jack did.

Hanley’s situation is very interesting from a fantasy perspective because Reyes’s signing has forced Hanley to make a switch to 3rd base. This means that Hanley will bring his 5 tool talents to a new gig- dual eligibility at two of fantasy’s scarcer positions. Unlike Alex Rodriguez who made the same position shift, Hanley is not a true slugger. His power and speed combo will be truly unique at 3rd this year, but his power stroke will need to return in a big way for him to be considered a legitimate option at third base. Fortunately, his dual eligibility will allow owners who take him early to have great flexibility later on in filling these tough positions.

Another bystander from last year’s team who stands to benefit is young superstar Mike Stanton. Stanton’s power was historic in 2011, and his ability to overcome the adjustments pitchers made against him proved he was no fluke. If fantasy owners had one complaint about his 2011 season, it was likely in the RBI department. He was shuffled up and down the lineup all year, and seemingly hit nothing but solo shots. Regardless of whether the Marlins’ signings prove to be good or bad, the short term lineup looks to get a major boost, and Stanton’s RBI numbers should improve dramatically. There were numerous other Marlins position players who were mixed league relevant who can expect a similar boost as well (I’m looking at you, Logan Morrison and Gaby Sanchez). Buy buy buy.

In stark contrast to the new-look offense, the Marlins’ rotation looked to be more of the same with Ricky Nolasco and Josh Johnson as the headliners (provided the latter’s injury rehab goes smoothly). After that a slovenly band of journeymen and veterans consisting of Anibal Sanchez, Chris Volstad and newly-acquired Wade Leblanc rounded things out. The Marlins, correctly realizing that this rotation was a recipe for disaster, made a game-changing signing — Mark Buehrle. Buehrle has been consistently solid for a long while in the tougher American League, and should benefit from a move to the senior circuit. He should be a formidable piece of the Marlins rotation and a coveted mid-tier fantasy starter on draft day.

Another area that the Marlins did manage to upgrade was their bullpen via their somewhat surprising acquisition of Heath Bell. Bell’s peripherals are not nearly what they once were, but he should be a clear upgrade over the “Artist formerly known as Leo Nunez” Juan Oviedo. Oviedo himself becomes a dicey fantasy play unless he is non-tendered and latches on elsewhere as a closer. However it seems fairly likely that the Marlins will keep him around for depth purposes. I’d shop him in keeper leagues before the dust settles.

Whether the Marlins have built a championship contender is still a matter of debate. They have certainly generated a buzz in the baseball world that will hopefully translate to attendance at their new ballpark. Regardless of the outcome, there will be many fantasy options coming out of this lineup this year, but don’t draft on hype alone. The value is there only if you know where to look.

And just like with the Wayan Brothers, the Marlins like sequels.  This offseason is a sequel to 1997′s spending spree.  We’ll call this one, “Don’t Be A Miser In South Florida While Drinking Your Profits In The Hood.”  Mark Buehrle signed on with the Marlins for $58 million.  The Marlins are currently acting like they are under the ownership of Montgomery Brewster.  Jeffrey Loria is investing so much, Bernie Madoff probably wishes he was back in the game.  It’s like Loria is investing all the money that Wilpon lost.  Last year Buehrle had his 3rd straight year of a K-rate under 5.  He’s about as bleh as pitchers get.  Anyway, here’s some more moves from the Winter Meetings for 2012 fantasy baseball:

Huston Street – Traded to the Padres for a player to be named later.  I think the PTBNL in the Street deal will be an undocumented worker from a meat processing plant.  Gotta keep Dante Bichette’s Inferno Hot Dog stand stocked up.  No one wants a repeat of the hot dogs with drifter meat from the Larry Walker Ranch.  Assuming Street will be healthy, he’ll be more than suitable as a closer.   Assuming Street will be healthy is like assuming you could sleep with Jessica Alba if she knew your name.

Rafael Betancourt – Even before Street was traded, Betancourt was tabbed to be the Rockies closer.  Now it’s official.  Hopefully he can put all talk of him being a cuddle boy behind him.

Francisco Rodriguez – Chose the money and to set-up Axford.  Definitely shows that competitive spirit that they teach the youngsters on the T-Ball fields is alive and well.  Just not with K-Rod.  See, it shows it in the negation.

C.J. Wilson – It wasn’t a done deal as of bedtime (around midnight PST.  I trim my mustache from 10 to 11, then I lather my mustache from 11:00 to 11:15 then– well, that’s not important), but it sounds like Wilson is signing with the Halos.  My Christian friends tell me that’s the Angels.  Hallelujah!  So what does this mean for Wilson’s value?  I’m glad you asked, Clunky Set-Up Question.  Dempster originally confounded me about so-so relievers becoming starters, then Wilson turned my t-shirt that reads “I’m confounded” inside out and ripped off the tag.  If Wilson can do what he just did calling Arlington home, no reason he can’t do it in Bobby Grichville.  He dropped his walks from 4.10 per 9 to 2.98 and upped his Ks from 7.50 to 8.30.  Guys and three girl readers, that’s a recipe for success.  I could see him putting up a line of 14-8/3.45/1.21/190.

Hanley Ramirez – Was demanding more money to change positions.  What do you ask for here?  An extra $750,000 for each foot you have to move to the right?  They should tell Hanley that 3rd base is a shorter run to get to balls down the line.  Maybe that’ll convince him.

Lastings Milledge – Signed with the Tokyo Swallows.  I look forward to his upcoming rap single, “Grab Crotch, Spit and Swallows.”

Jose Reyes went from the King of Queens (See, Reyes is Spanish for kings.  Things are much more interesting when they need to be explained, aren’t they?) to the land of retired Jews as he signed with the Miami Marlins.  Did Jeffrey Loria’s great auntie die and leave him with an extra hundred million?  Team moves into a new stadium, changes its name and suddenly has money to burn.  Looks like Marlin employers might actually get Christmas gifts this year…. That aren’t regifted.  “Cool, um, the pie tin that hit Coghlan in the face.  Never thought I’d get one of these.”  Jose Reyes’s value doesn’t change much in Miami.  All Reyes needs to do is stay healthy and he’ll be every bit as valuable as he should be.  You know, 40+ steals, 100+ runs.  The uze.  For all of those people that are suddenly penciling him in for the best season of his career, I just want to point out one thing — Carl Crawford’s signing with the Red Sox and how well that worked out.  And he stayed (relatively) healthy.  Imagine if Reyes gets injured.  Now, they’re not related; they don’t even look like cousins.  No reason to think what happened to Crawford will happen to Reyes, but nothing is set in stone except in Perfect Case Scenario World where I’m not a blogger but shtupping Jessica Alba.  What Reyes should do in Miami is 110/12/50/.295/45.  I love it; I love Reyes; I own a “Reyes is My Baby’s Daddy” t-shirt.  Just keep caveats in mind.  (BTW, I didn’t use the word shtupping back there.  I wrote this post while on a ouija board channeling Buddy Hackett and he wrote that word.)  Anyway, here’s some other offseason moves that happened and what they mean for 2012 fantasy baseball:

Hanley Ramirez – Reyes just made it easier to be a Hanley apologist in 2012 drafts because he’s moving him over and Han-Ram’s getting 3rd base eligibility.  Honestly, I’m kinda annoyed because I was excited to draft Hanley at a discount and now every Tom, Dick and Harry Schmohawk will have an excuse to still draft Hanley so he’s not going to be discounted at all.

Manny Ramirez – Reports are saying he’ll serve his suspension and play again in 2012.  He’s probably embarrassed for being banned for estrogen and wants to get banned for something more heroic like drilling a hole in his bat and stuffing it with tampons.  Long term, maybe Manny can apply for the hitting coach job with the Cardinals.