You, “Hey, look at that, I’m in a crazy/stupid/gooftarded deep league and everyone in this league that I’m talking to myself about is well-versed in this fantasy baseball shizz because they are also in this crazy/stupid/gooftarded deep league yet they forgot to draft Matt Holliday. Cool!” Yeah, that’s not going to happen. If you’re drafting from guys in the top 100 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball, your league is deep and you know you’re not going to get much from these guys. Potatoes to chips, most of these guys will be worth owning at some point in the season. In keepers and single league, uh, leagues, most should be owned from the jump, if ‘from the jump’ means what I think it does when kids say it. Now get off my lawn! Here’s all of the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings. If you’re joining us late, here’s the top 20 outfielders, top 40 outfielders, top 60 outfielders and top 80 outfielders. Anyway, here’s the top 100 outfielders for 2013 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
You know that cracked out guy at the 7-11 at 3 AM who’s just trying to get a cylindrical hamburger for free? ”Yo, man, can I get me a cylindrical hamburger?” Grabs said hot doggey-looking burger and jets for the exit.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Felix Hernandez joined Philip Humber and Matt Cain in the Perfect Game club this year, shutting down the Rays in Seattle yesterday. If only it was against the Yankees and Ichiro (hitting 9th) was the last hitter and Ichiro bunted. Oh, the Internet drama!Please, blog, may I have some more?
We went over Danny Hultzen in our last fantasy baseball podcast, but that was a bunch of jibber-jabbering, you want the facts! Well, actually, there were some facts in there. Rudy, for instance, stated he thought Hultzen would be up by June 26th. Okay, that’s more of an opinion. Okay, facts. 1) When Hultzen was drafted last year, he was one of the top pitchers in the country and seemed most “major league ready.” 2) “Major league ready” is scout-speak for safe. 3) Fat Jonah Hill fired all the scouts. 4) He throws over 100 MPH. 5) I bet you didn’t know Fat Jonah Hill threw that fast. 6) Hultzen, on the other hand, throws his fastball 91-95 MPH. 7) His ceiling is slightly lower than the top arms in the minors. G) He walked a bunch of batters when he first arrived at a high level of competition, this might translate to the majors.Please, blog, may I have some more?
R.A. Dickey went seven and a third innings with no runs and eight Ks as he dueled Wang. Dickey vs. Wang was the greatest sword fight since Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme both arrived at the same tanning salon in the late 80′s. In this game, surprisingly there weren’t that many dribblers through the vas deferns. Streamers would have to wait until later in the day with Leake. The game started with the Nats putting a giant zipper in the outfield for each pitcher’s entrance. Then the knuckleballs came early and often and showed a polished Dickey.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Bud Norris and Zack Greinke both struck out 12 hitters yesterday. One in 6 innings and the latter in 7 innings, if latter means Greinke. And when I saw their lines it occurred to me, that my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke, when he grows up, my Bud’s gonna be just like Greinke. You see my Bud’s WHIP’s a hassle and his homers have the flew. But one day Bud will be just like you. One day he’ll be just like you. And Greinke would say, “Why is he singing Cat’s in the Cradle to me? I’m not his father, I’m barely two years older than him?” Yeah, you’ll see, Greinke. You can’t even see the irony now, but one day, my Bud’s gonna be just like you. You all will see. For now, he’s not him. Nope, nuh-uh, nada, not there, nope again. His walks are still too out of control, but his K-rate is over nine and his xFIP is 12 team mixed league respectable. He’s about as risky a starter as there is — he’s even on Rudy’s list of risky pitchers for 2012 — but it’s hard to find his sort of Ks on waivers. And, one day, he’ll put it together and we’ll have a good time then… You know we’ll have a good time then. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Alex Avila – To the DL with a hamstring strain. Only positive here is Miggy homered yesterday, feeling more comfortable without AA hassling him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what’s gonna happen. You’re gonna be out at a family BBQ for Memorial Day. Your weird uncle that has coke bottle glasses is going to ask your girlfriend if she’ll pass the potato salad just so he can get a glimpse of her bra when she moves her arm, and then your friend is going to text you, “Anthony Rizzo called up! I grabbed him… Lqqk who sucks –> You! Say hello to your mother for me.” First thing you’re gonna think is, why are you friends with this guy? Bad enough he’s an ass, but he uses Q’s for O’s. Second thing you’re gonna think is, why you didn’t grab Rizzo and stash him a week ago? He is absolutely raking in Triple-A: .359 average, 13 homers in 37 games. LaHair’s obviously not getting benched, but he can slide into the outfield and Rizzo will be playing 1st base for the Cubs by June 5th. You can wait until June 4th if your league needs Nerf to supply the balls, but, in most leagues, you better grab him soon. In the meantime, let’s start calling Rizzo “The Scer.” You know, if Phil Rizzuto was The Scooter. Okay, maybe that doesn’t work. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Dale Thayer – Street’s closed, use alternate route. I’d consider going down Thayer. Street’s supposed to open again in a few weeks, but city planners and construction have already closed this Street 15 times in the last few years from just wear and tear. Chances are it’s up and running again are never definite.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sometimes when you take the fielding coach a little too literal, this is what happens. Miguel Cabrera came face to face with his fielding fears and a baseball and the baseball won. A sharp grounder shattered his sunglasses, leaving his right eye a bloody mess. The good news for Miggy, the doctor prescribed a 15 ounce porterhouse. No word if Miggy put it on his eye with or without A1 Steak Sauce. Just thought of something. Since the 2012 All-Star Game is in Kansas City, I’m sure George Brett will throw out the first pitch. You thought he was mad during the Pine Tar Game, wait until he sees Miggy and Hanley playing 3rd. From early reports, it sounds like Miggy will be fine, but Tigers won’t release Miggy’s face X-rays until after this posts on Tuesday, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed. An&yswy, hiacte’s– Sorry, I’ll cross my fingers after I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Joakim Soria – Has UCL damage, which isn’t related to damage caused by a drunk UL Washington. Or as Van Morrison would say, “His elbow doesn’t feel good. His elbow doesn’t feel right. His name is Soria. S-O-R-I-A… And his name is Soria… S-O-R-I-A…” There was talk that Soria should’ve been traded a few years ago. I tend to agree, you don’t have a $12 salad if you can’t make your rent, but that’s neither here nor there now. Some reports are saying Broxton will fill in as the closer. I think Holland will close in Soria’s stead. If you’re desperate for saves, I’d grab both of them. At this point, it’s not clear who will take over the role. I think it’s only about a 55% chance for Holland to be the closer, so you better grab an umbrella.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chase Utley went 0-for-5 as he returned from the DL. My favorite advice by fantasy ‘perts is when they tell you to get a returning superstar into your lineup. Do people often leave their 1st round picks on the DL when they’re playing? Is this something I need to tell people? While you’re at it, get Pujols in your lineups too. Oh, and put on some pants before you get arrested. Another returning middle infielder with an oh-fer yesterday was Dustin Pedroia. Scrappy Doo fought hard to come back early, so he might not be at his usual 110%, but at, say, 80% he’s Dustin Pedro and that’s enough for me. The last man to recover from the 2010 Middle Infieluenza Epidemic was Martin Prado, who actually had some hits with a 3-for-5, 2 RBIs night. [dur] Get them all in your lineup.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.Please, blog, may I have some more?