Six days ago, the Rays said they have no plans to call up Wil Myers. Six days ago, the Rays lied. They might’ve just lied to make Jim Bowden look stupid. While I appreciate that, Bowden rides around on a Segway, so the Rays were piling on. About two weeks ago, I gave you my Wil Myers fantasy. Lets’ not recapitulate any of that, okay? Let’s not talk about how Myers could hit 20 homers in two-thirds of a season. Or how Myers could hit .280 with solid counting stats. If you want to read about the risk of rookies, go to that post and read that. I’m not here to talk about how Myers is the number one prospect call-up or how he’s worthwhile in all mixed leagues, but won’t be Mike Trout. I’m not going to talk about any of that. Dah! I just did, didn’t I? Damn, you fooled me! Myers is the kind of player that probably has the most value right now. He’s going to be a top round fantasy guy. Eventually. Yes, I just did the douchey one word sentence thing. Right now, he’s around a 4th outfielder. Of course, he’s draped in glorious upside. You could yell at him the same way you do to a Home Depot employee, “Hey, Toolsy!” For the future, he reminds me of an in-his-prime Matt Holliday. He’s a 30-ish homer, 15-ish steal guy with a solid average. Eventually. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
My fantasy career goes back further than LeBron’s hairline, it’s Beddict – I pack more nuts than Delta Airlines. Greetings! Tis I, Tehol, back again and ready to wreck shizz! Yea!!! This is going to be my greatest post of all time, I can just feel it inside my beautifully sculpted bones. Wait, hold on a second…….. I just received a 911 text on my pager. What’s this? “Boy Toy Troy” Tulowitzki has a broken rib? He’s gonna be out 6 weeks you say? Well that’s just swell! Oh and Sky already grabbed Rutledge off waivers? I will pay any of you readers the equivalent to 500 dollars in man thongs for information on his whereabouts. Sky that is, not Tulo. I know Tulo is in the waiting room at his gynecologist at this very moment, but Sky’s a tough man to locate. Can Sky sue me for threatening him on razzball? Sue me for what? Man thongs? That’s basically the only possession of value I own besides my chicken, an extremely rare breed.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Mariners don’t play no mess. That’s their motto, and not the oft-cited mottoes, “F-Her and pray for rain,” or “Put the fences on wheels, so we can move them in when we’re at-bat and out when the other team is,” or “If we trade Chris Tillman and Adam Jones for Erik Bedard, we’ll have more seats empty to fill the stadium with recliners.” With the “don’t play no mess” motto in full-mode, they brought up Mike Zunino. A catcher bat like Zunino only comes once in a lifetime (the lifetime is that of a guinea pig that is being cared for by a 12-year-old, so the lifespan is about 18 months. Remember, because age is rounded down to the last birthday, on average guinea pigs live a half year beyond their final birthday. They live as zombies. Zombie guinea pigs are all around us. Now, I’m scared.) Sure, the last once in a lifetime catcher bat after Buster Posey and Matt Wieters also played for the Mariners. You remember, it was the Jesus who couldn’t catch or hit but could walk on water with the best of them. So, after turning to Jesus twice (Montero, Sucre), the Mariners are now turning to Rookie Zuninookie. BTW, Sucre is sugar, and Zunino sounds like Mexican artificial sweetener. You might remember Mike Zunino from such Scott, our prospect writer, sentences as, “.360/.447/.689 between Low-A and Double-A,” “The third overall pick this past June has been simply incredible since signing,” and my favorite, “His tools profile suggests he’ll eventually develop into a very nice big league catcher, and one you’ll want in fantasy leagues, but most people around baseball don’t see the Travis D’Arnaud/Jesus Montero/Devin Mesoraco-type ceiling with Zunino,” which came when he ranked him 44th in the top 50 fantasy baseball prospects. Not to get all Chinese Calendary on you, but 2013 isn’t going to the Year of the Incoming Catcher. Zunino’s chances of making a huge impact seem slim to anorexic. The path to fantasy value for a catcher isn’t a Sunday drive down the Henry Hudson for Will Smith in the movie, Hancock. If Zunino blows away my projections, he gets 15 homers and a .260 average. More likely, he gets 7-10 homers and a .240 average. You can probably do better. Look at me having faith in you! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
That’s a Shame (Bold Predictions) is the new overall leader after gaining in the standings for the sixth consecutive week, dropping the mauledbypandas team (Josh Hamilton’s Fake Stache) down to second. Both teams drafted Miguel Cabrera with the number 1 pick back in March. That’s a Shame followed Miggy with Adam Jones and Jay Bruce, and grabbed Adam Wainwright in the fifth round for their first pitcher. Everth Cabrera in the 19th has given great value, hitting .299 with 31 runs, 24 RBI, and 28 stolen bases. TAS almost took top team honors for the third time this season with fine hitting (.299/41 Runs/13 HR/44 RBI/12 SB) and pitching (7 Wins/60 K/2.49/1.17/8 Saves) numbers. Check out the new and improved Master Standings (you can also access them via the Leagues menu up top) to see where your team ranks in comparison to the other 767 teams through Sunday. The page now includes sortable stats.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, Nick Castellanos, see you soon, maybe, yeah, no, okay. Great to meet you, Gerrit Cole, eventually. What do you know it’s, Mike Zunino, maybe at some point in the near future. What’s up, Billy Hamilton, hey, aren’t you supposed to be fast? What’s taking you so long? Is that Oscar Taveras…Oh, it’s Willy Taveras eating nachos out of a dwarf’s sombrero. What about that number one prospect guy that the Royals traded so they could be a .500 team? What’s his name again? Something Byers. Or is it Jon Cryer? HBO Signature Loves Playing Radio Flyer? Wil Myers! That’s it. Let’s compare him first to a guy that he’s nothing like, shall we? Cool, thanks for indulging. What a mensch, you are! Jurickson Profar was called up and has played about as well as expected. Is there any league where you can’t do without him? Sure, maybe in a deep AL-Only league where you lost Kinsler or were starting Marwin Gonzalez. In most mixed leagues, Profar has been good but replaceable. At some point in the near future, Profar’s going to use the world to wipe his butt. He’s not going to wash his hands and then run them down our country’s shirt with his profound badassery. That day probably isn’t that far off. Right now, he’s good, I’ve seen better, I’ve seen worse for mixed leagues. Compare him to Jean Segura if you like. Segura was nice when he came up last year, this year he’s dining with Jay-Z while shushing Blue Ivy. Now, like I said, Wil Myers isn’t a Profar comparison when it comes to their stats, but everything else I said there could apply. Myers is holding his own in Triple-A so far this year (10 HRs, .276) and could be called up in about three weeks. Now would be the time I’d stash him in all leagues. The moment he’s called up it will be like The Day the Earth Stood Still only Hitter-Tron will be saving all the ladies. I’d cautiously expect him to see 80% of starts after being called up, and numbers around 30/14/35/.280/4. That’s probably a tad optimistic, but what fun is there in dour? Those numbers could also be had in three months from, say, Alfonso Soriano. ‘What fun is there in dour’ then you drop Soriano? Sorry, Random Italicized Voice, we’re not seeing a Trout this year and I’m just being honest. What are you, Abe Lincoln? Lie to me! Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In case you missed it, May rolled over into June yesterday, which is an exciting development for those of us who’ve been stashing guys like Wil Myers, Zack Wheeler, and Christian Yelich. Most folks are projecting dates in mid-June for the Super Two cutoff, so we’re likely just a couple weeks away from some high-impact call-ups. Of course, these Super Two projections are an inexact science, and it’s always possible that ball clubs err on the side of caution, and give it an extra week or two for cushion. In any case, Myers, in particular, is heating up at just the right time. I’d already speculated that his cold start wouldn’t delay his timetable much, but you can forget that conversation entirely now. Through his last ten, Myers is batting .341 with 5 homers and 19 RBI. If he’s somehow available in your league, now is a good time to stash him.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Baseball’s purest prospect has been called up. Jurickson Profar has surfaced in Texas, and if you’re just learning this now, you’re far too late. Don’t sweat it too much if you didn’t get your hands on Profar — I don’t see much room for him in the Rangers lineup once Kinsler returns. If you did happen to scoop him, though, he’s a wonderful lotto ticket with an even bigger potential payout given 2B eligibility. In other close-to-the bigs news, Houston prospect, Jonathan Singleton, will debut at Low-A next week after serving a 50-game suspension. He’ll join MiLB home run leader, George Springer, at Double-A before long, and proceed to Triple-A where he’ll likely stay for most of the year. In a different organization, Singleton and Springer would find themselves on the cusp of breaking through, but I don’t see the Astros starting their clocks while the team is in rebuilding mode. Until further notice, those two remain outside the scope of these power rankings.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Brace yourselves for another revision of the prospect power rankings, this time with more turnover! There’s been plenty of movement in the past few weeks, both upward and downward, making room for five fresh faces in the top ten/next five. Nolan Arenado and Dan Straily, both top ten guys last time through, have surfaced in the bigs, while three guys fall from the ranks. Danny Hultzen drops out thanks to a shoulder injury, which has been deemed mild, but it’s concerning nonetheless. Nick Castellanos and Mike Zunino also slip out of the rankings, as both prospects are slumping severely at the dish. We also have a new #1, which is quite exciting — do try to contain your enthusiasm. Let’s get started.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We’re back for our first revision of the prospect power rankings. For those who are new, or just kinda slow, this is where we’ll take a biweekly look at the best fantasy stashes in Minor League Baseball. To see the inaugural list, click that link. While there’s no change in the top two spots, there was quite a bit of shuffling around the rest of the way through. One notable guy dropping off the list is Travis D’Anaud, who suffered a broken foot. The injury will set him back a couple months — terrible news for the 24-year-old who missed most of last season to a knee injury.Please, blog, may I have some more?
If I could find a way
I’d take back those words that hurt you….
Damn you Cher. Damn you and your catchy songs. And damn you for killing Jack Nicholson in Witches of Eastwick. No one kills Jack. Jack is the man. Goes to Lakers games. Hits on Jennifer Lawrence during the Oscars. Lives in Hollywood. The man.
If you drive about an hour south of Hollywood through Los Angeles you get to Newport Beach.T hat just happens to be the home town of one Gerrit Cole. (Sexy Segue complete.) Cole is also the man. Drafted first in 2011, he will get his call to the show at some point this year. This guy can flat out pitch. In his first professional year, Cole climbed the complete ladder of the minor leagues by starting in high-A ball and ending in Indianapolis (AAA) for a cup of coffee. The guy sports a 98+ fastball that if it hits you it’ll leave a six-foot hole coming out. And he’s not afraid to be aggressive. (Be aggressive! B. E. Aggressive!) Just listen to what Gaby Sanchez said about the kid via Dejan Kovacevic of the Pittsburgh Tribune-Review:
“Some guys who throw hard, they’re a little shy about going inside. This kid, he’ll get two strikes on you, then back you off, and now he’s got the whole plate to get you out. Tough, man. Tough.”
But when will we see him in black and yellow?Please, blog, may I have some more?