Gerrit Cole‘s start yesterday — 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78 — wasn’t the most impressive start. *walks around, shaking people out of their slumber* Hey, what’s going on, guys and five girl readers? Was it the opening sentence? Okay, so Gerrit Cole didn’t look as good as, say, Dylan Bundy over five innings. Cole looked solid, salt-of-the-earth, lumberjack-shirt-for-a-tablecloth-middle-class-sturdy-as-oak-workman-like for nine innings. By the way, you know what they call a hyena with lines instead of spots? Hyphena. Take it, Highlights, it’s yours. Do we have to have starters that are all lordy-me-I’m-fainting-with-a-handkerchief-to-my-forehead filled with upside? Well, I’d like it, and Cole prolly has it somewhere in there. *knocks on Cole’s chest* Is a near-9 K/9 in there still? Hello? Okay, I think it is, but it’s just not answering now. Maybe it’s taking a nap from Cole’s less-than-stellar K-rate. That’s been the story of his season, actually. Great results for real baseball, but a little lacking on the flash (7.5 K/9). He’s still throwing hard (95 MPH), maybe he fell asleep while Contact was on late-night TV and woke up deciding to throw to contact. Not sure, but if I had to bet, I’d bet every day on a 25-year-old who throws 95 returning to his previous flashy Ks while maintaining his excellent ERA results. But there’s nothing wrong with a lumberjack shirt for a tablecloth. It’s Murica! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Zach Eflin tossed a complete game 3-hit shutout Friday night versus the Pirates, requiring just 100 pitches to go all the way and pick up the win. It was the rookie’s first career shut out. That’s what I’m Eflin talking about! I know what you’re thinking, I loved him in those High School Musicals, I wish he was my Neighbors. Wrong Zach. Both are real good though. After a rocky debut to his rookie season in Toronto (2.2 IP, 9 hits, 8 ER, 3 BB), Zach Eflin has been on the attack ever since, allowing just 11 runs in the seven starts since his debut (2.07 ERA in 47.2 IP). More impressive is that he has pitched at least six innings in six of those seven starts, including two complete games. Dude is a horse. And at just 22 years young I guess that would make him a dot dot dot Filly. Zing! Wait, or is it a mare? Foal? Joke still works or nah? On second thought I’m thinking it might be a colt. Hmm. Regardless, Zach is clearly a stallion. So how is it he’s available in over 80% of fantasy leagues? Are you Eflin kidding me? Sure, the 26/8 K/BB ratio is nothing to call the presses about, but his 1.05 WHIP is mighty impressive. Some of the advanced stats may suggest he’s due for a bit of a correction, but why not ride the Zach train while its Eflin hot. He’s coming off his best career start and gets the Marlins next week, so pick him up, what are you Eflin waiting for?
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Decisions, decisions…we all love when a bad hitting team gets to go up against a good to great pitcher. But do we love it when it’s in a friendly hitter’s park? This is the question you’re going to have to ask yourself today. With so many good pitching options on this slate priced reasonably, is it the kind of day you should toss Jon Gray out there on your team? Clearly Gray isn’t without risk given Coors is the backdrop but lets consider a few things for a moment. His K/9 on the year is nestled right in between David Price and Jake Arrieta. His GB% sits at a healthy 47.8% and his xFIP (3.53) is nearly a run less than his ERA (4.33). Also, Gray has done a tremendous job this year of taking advantage of cush matchups no matter where he was at. He went seven and K’d seven Padres back on June 10th in Coors and just finished up the Braves in Atlanta with eight Ks for a seven inning shutout. When Jon is given an opportunity to take down a bad team, he does it with authority. The asking price of $8,200 isn’t the cheapest nor is it unmanageable; it’s just there asking you if you like taking a bit of risk with your LU. Well, do ya punk? Alright then, let’s get on with the getting on. Here’s my fuerte taeks for this Friday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday July 25th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The other day the Astros signed the coveted Cuban refugee, Yulieski Gourriel. One time! Yulieski is as apple pie as a Canadian tenor group making a political statement during the All-Star Game. He’s 32 years old. If he went by YuGo, that would make him the newest car in Cuba. “Bueno Model T, amigo! Now, tell me about this Ford Taurus I hear so much about.” You know who a 32-year-old Cuban immediately reminds me of? Hector Olivera and Alex Guerrero. Sloppy comparison maybe. Hey, that gives me an idea. Whenever doing a sloppy comparison between players who just happen to be Cuban, we should call them Sloppy Jose’s. We need a similar term for when making a sloppy comparison between Japanese players; please suggest in the comments. As for Gourriel, yeah, I don’t see much here. I watched video of him, and he looks like a 15 HR, 6 SB, .260 hitter, which is Hector Olivera. I’m sorry, but those Sloppy Joses make sense sometimes. This Gourriel signing obviously delays Bregman’s arrival, so boo, you mothereffer, boo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome, prematurely balding men and five women who are married to prematurely balding men and decided if you can’t beat them, join them! Make yourself comfortable, this is gonna be a long post. Here, enjoy some coffee. Oops, you just drank rat poison. Don’t worry, it can’t be worse than owning Chris Archer in the 1st half. Oh, you owned him and that’s why you drank the poison! Now, I’m following! Hey, I’m supposed to be leading! Before we get into the top 100 for the 2nd half of 2016 fantasy baseball, let’s just be glad our 18-year-old selves can’t see us now, we’d get beat up! But our twelve-year-old selves would think we’re the coolest! So, as with all of the other 2016 fantasy baseball rankings, take this list with a grain of salt. If you need a 2nd baseman, but an outfielder is above him that doesn’t mean you can’t trade that outfielder for that 2nd baseman. Also, things change in fantasy baseball. Daily. I could put Bryce Harper number two on the top 100 list for the second half of 2016 and he could pull a–Well, we won’t even mention an injury with Bryce. Why soil a good thing, ya know? This list is a road map for where I think guys are valued. It’s not the Holy Grail in the Church of Grey, that would be my mustache. This list is NOT (caps for emphasis, not aesthetics) where I see guys ending up if you were to take their first half and combine it with the 2nd half. This is simply a list of the top hundred fantasy baseball players if you were to pick them up today. So while David Price did not have the greatest first half, he will appear on this list because I still believe. The projections are not their combined 1st half and 2nd half numbers; these are their projections for the 2nd half of 2016. I also liberally used our rest of the season Fantasy Baseball Player Rater. That’s right, we have a Player Rater that tells you what players will do. It’s like that camera from The Twilight Zone. Welcome to the future! Anyway, here’s the top 100 for fantasy baseball for the 2nd half of 2016:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The sexy prospects are finally making it baby!
It’s good to be back to the Pitcher Profile, with so many hot options out there to break down as we head into the ASB. While Lucas Giolito (who I was always spell wrong with two T’s the first time I type his name) has more “overall” prospect buzz, I think I might have been more excited that we finally got the Tyler Glasnow callup. I had continually been ranking him very favorably in my ranks in the 60s, and I’m not gonna lie, when I saw Steven Brault got the call before him (and this is even after Chad Kuhl too), I was dismayed. But alas! Glasnow made his debut last Thursday afternoon against the Cardinals with a lot of encouraging stuff coming out of it. Not too surprisingly, he was sent back down as he wasn’t needed for another start before the All-Star Break, but will he be back soon sooner or later? Well, here’s how he looked in his MLB debut, and an analysis on if you should be holding onto him on redraft rosters:Please, blog, may I have some more?
With Tyler Glasnow being called up, let’s go over what we know so far about him. 1) In Triple-A, he had 113 Ks in only 96 IP. 2) He had a 1.78 ERA. 3) There’s no C, since we’re not even lettering these facts. D) And now we are lettering them, great! E) Glasnow enters to bagpipes and wears a kilt on the mound. F) This. I didn’t get him in one single league! G) Money. H) His command in Triple-A was wonky as all get-out — 4.9 BB/9. I) could see some major blowups if he loses command of the strike zone. J) abba the Hut failed with the Cookie Diet. K) Glasnow likely won’t pitch an entire season. L) M, N, O P Q) How many innings? Arrgh) Likely close to 50 IP S)o that’s still into September. T) for two! U) The letter U looks like Jon Niese looking down. V) What a great show! Remake it, again! W) Should officially change its name to Dubya. X) Marks that one spot where the two lines intersect or the entire area of the X? Y) Cause. Z) Yes, I’d grab Glasnow in all leagues. Prospector Ralph even ranked Glasnow number two for all the 2nd half fantasy baseball prospects, so you know shizz is real. AA) My name is Grey Albright– Oh, we’re done with the lettering. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said this offseason, “Before watching the video on Lucas Giolito, I looked at his vitals. This is something I don’t usually do. Doesn’t really matter to me if a guy is six-foot-one or five-ten. But, dizzamn, Giolito is a strapping young man, huh? He’s listed at six-six and 230. He’s only 21 years old, but I think he’s done growing. Hopefully, cause his mom tells CBS Sports that his “feet already hang off the bed.” With a six-six frame, as you can imagine, he throws fast. (Christall Young is the exception that proves the rule, an idiom that never made any sense to me. If it’s an exception, how does it prove anything? It proves that there’s exceptions, but that’s about it, right? I’m gonna move on before my brain hurts in my thought-nodes.) Giolito hits 97 MPH on his fastball, which is actually up a tick from the previous year. If he keeps steadily increasing his fastball every year, by the time he’s 40 years old, he’s going to be throwing 117 MPH. He throws from nearly right over the top, so the ball fires downhill and hitters have about no chance of hitting it. A 9+ K/9 seems to be a given once he gets settled in the majors. With speed comes no control, to sound like a drunk Yoda. Or does it?! Snap, reversed on that. No, Giolito has control too. 97 MPH with command? I’ll say it for you, hummna-hummna. Oh, and his strikeout pitch is his hard breaking curve. In 20 years, Al Pacino could be playing the role of a Hall of Fame pitcher in the film, Giolito’s Way. Assuming Pacino has eighteen-inch stilettos. He could be special, and TMZ spotted Pacino shopping for eighteen-inch stilettos, so that could be a good sign.” And that’s me quoting me! He should be added in all leagues, like yesterday. To put just the tiniest bit of dampers in these happiness diapers, Kershaw had a 4.26 ERA his rookie year in 107 2/3 IP. Rookies give roofies and take your kidneys. Hashtag truth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
A good salesman can sell ice to an eskimo. Notice I did not say honest salesman. I also said salesman instead of salesperson. Hopefully that did not offend my one female reader. After all, she does make up ten percent of my followers. Sorry token girl reader. Back to the guy that’s going to sell you a mattress when all you came into the store for was a pillow. For years, used car salesmen have been considered the prototypical charlatan. I’m not sure if charlatan is the right word, but I really want to use it, so it’s been crowbarred into today’s post.
What in Grey’s name does this have to do with fantasy baseball? One word. Trades. When making a trade in fantasy baseball, what we are really doing is selling one or more players in return for other player(s). Your opportunity to make a favorable trade relies upon your ability to sell your players for more than they are worth, or buy your opponents players for less than they’re worth. And if you can do both, perhaps you should open a used car lot. Razzcars! They sound fast.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jonathan Papelbon hit the DL and it couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy. Though, I’m using the archaic definition of nicer. An adjective which was once described a jerk off who went to Nice, France and hurled insults. Example, A nicer man would stand on the curb as Gerard Depardieu passed on his bicycle, screaming, “You are the fattest frog I’ve ever seen and I once force fed a frog to make frog foie gras.” Filling in for Papelbon will be Shawn Kelley and Felipe Rivero. Rivero is a lefty, so his best hope for saves is a 9th inning that is lefty heavy like my Facebook feed from my Bernie Sanders-supporting friends. Of course, Dusty said he wouldn’t commit to any one replacement because Dusty’s gonna Dusty. He cited other possible candidates to close like Blake Treinen and Sammy Solis. I wonder if Dusty knows that’s not the slugger he once managed in Chicago. “Sammy Solis, you came up short with McGwire, but I need you to close out this game. By the way, go easier on the skin whitening.” That’s Dusty while juggling the toothpick in his mouth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?