Fantasy Baseball Advice

John Danks had a no-hitter through 6 innings yesterday and ended with a line of 9 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 7 Ks.  That’s Jo-Da showing us how to harness midi-chlorians.  Top ten in the AL with my WHIP at 1.13 through 112 innings, have I.  Hmmm… Yessss.  A Yoda translator, I do not need because I am Jo-Da.   Danks has made a lot more hitters swing at pitches outside the strike zone this year — 21% in 2009 to over 28%, resulting in hitters making contact with almost 70% of pitches outside the strike zone compared to 57.7% last year.  That increase, naturally, has caused hitters to make a lot less solid contact.  This might be from his changeup, which he is throwing more of this year.  Or it could be The Force.  Either way, Danks is not suddenly an ace, but he is teetering between a fantasy #2 and #3.  You’ll take that, wrap it in a tortilla, load it up with guac and eat it.  Yes, you will.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Michael Brantley – Even though his gig is steals-a-plenty, Brantley hit his first homer as the rest of Cleveland dealt with a bad case of LeBronchitis.  Listen, Cleveland, it hurts real bad right now, but you still have Jake Westbrook.

Roy Oswalt – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks.  After the game, Oswalt took off his jersey and switched it with a fan who was wearing a Dodger jersey.  Oswalt said he saw it in the World Cup and thought it was a fun tradition.  He then winked, nudged and whispered, “Get me out of Houston.”

Lance Berkman – 3-for-4 with 2 homers and now has 5 homers in the last four games.  Watch out, The Ghost of Berkmans Past is haunting Houston.

Dan Wheeler – Picked up the save as Rafael Soriano was noticeably absent for the 2nd game in a row.  You know what I did immediately in every league?  I picked up Dan Wheeler.  The Rays have a bunch of guys who could step up.  Benoit’s been incredible, Balfour’s been decent, but Wheeler got the save yesterday so that was who I grabbed, in a non-perverse way.

Carl Crawford – 2-for-4 with 2 homers.  Not sure what’s more surprising, that Crawford has ten homers or Longoria has only 13.  Yeah, Longoria probably.  Get some donks, Longo!

Wade Davis – 7 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 4 Ks.  He needed this quality start since he may have been pitching for his life with the whispers of Hellickson getting called up growing louder.  Or maybe those whispers were Michael and the other dead Lost people.  BTW, I’m still annoyed at the ending.  Okay, moving on.

Mat Latos – 7 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 8 Ks.  You know Jeff Foxworthy with his “You know you’re a redneck…” shtick?  Well, along those lines, you know you are a total baseball nerd if you’re fascinated to see how the Padres will balance Latos’ workload with the need to pitch him as they make a run for the pennant.  Hey, Foxworthy’s isn’t funny either.

Ervin Santana – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Now has an ERA of 3.76 on the year with 100 Ks in 122 IP.  Barring the Yankees and at Arlington, that’s a guy you start every time out.  Cust kayin’.

Jose Reyes – Was reported early yesterday that Reyes was going to see a doctor for his oblique pain, which is a terrible sign… But then, as with most things with the Mets, things were not as they seemed.  Later in the day, it was reported that Reyes did not see a doctor and should be fine for Friday.  Stay tuned for at least five more conflicting reports regarding the Mets.

Matt LaPorta – Out for the third straight day for what was deemed an insignificant head bruise.  Can’t we send him back out there with Cervelli’s Great Gazoo helmet?

Jose Bautista – 1-for-4 with his 23rd homer.  All he does is hit homers!  No, really, that’s all he does.  He hit .179 in June.  Did he drink Dave Kingman’s Vitamin Water?

Adam Lind – Speaking of nothing but homers, Lind hit his 11th homer.  Courtesy of ESPN, Lind has one three hit game this year.  On Opening Day.  Yowsers!  (The “Yowsers!” was my addition, not ESPN.)

Brett Cecil – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He has 93 IP and 67 Ks, not terrific.  His matchups are wonky at times.  His WHIP of 1.16, very pretty.  Hey, take the good, take the bad…yadda yadda yadda….  The Facts of Life.

Rafael Furcal – 3-for-3 with his 6th homer and 14th steal.  Someone’s been staying at the Renaissance Hotel.

Clayton Kershaw – 8 IP, 2 ER, 7 hits, no walks, 12 Ks and now has a 2.96 ERA with 128 Ks in 104 1/3 IP.  Member when his ERA was 4.99 on May 4th and you were buggin’ out and I told you to chill out?  We were younger then, you and I.  Fond memories.

Joe Mauer – 0-for-4, now hitting .297 with 4 homers.  Wow.  And.  Ow.  Where are the Mauer owners?  I never hear any complaints in the comments about him.  I know you’re out there.  Is all forgiven because of his precious Runs?  I am not disappointed at all.  Mauer gets me Runs.  I am glad I drafted him in the first round and converted his bobblehead into my water faucet.  The only water coming out of your Joe Mauer bobblehead is tears and you know it.  C’mon, vent a little, it’s good for the soul.

Scott Baker – 6 IP, 5 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks.  May not have been the easiest matchup but how many excuses are you going to make for Baker?  You guys had a good run– Actually, no, you had a terrible time together.  I’d part ways if there’s decent options on waivers.

Justin Morneau – After taking a knee to his melon, he sat out yesterday.  He’s day-to-day, or as they say in Jamaica, dayo-to-dayo.

Johnny Cueto – 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Hasn’t given up more than 1 earned run in any game since June 12th.  Yup.

Felix Pie – 1-for-3 with a homer.  That is some tasty Pee-ay.

Gerardo Parra – 4-for-5 with 2 runs.  That line is pretty indicative of Parra.  He hits for average and little else.  He’s like a poor man’s Coghlan.  That’s not a compliment.

Andres Torres – 2-for-6 while hitting his 2nd homer in as many games.  Now has 3 homers and 3 steals in the last week.  He’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but you don’t need to wait for that shizz.  He’s right here, guys and three girl readers.  Go at it.

Buster Posey – 2-for-4 with his 6th homer.  In 50 less games, he has better numbers on the year than Wieters.  He’ll probably be passing Mauer in value soon too.  Ouchy.  How’s that avoiding my advice to punt catcher treating you?  Now get me my mead!!!

Andy Pettitte – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks.  Hey, all of you Pettitte owners, you’re living on borrowed time.  That is all.

Jason Giambi – 4-for-4, but I picked up Brad Eldred in my NL-Only league!  Freakin’ Giambino.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 8 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Aw, geez, now he’s just making it difficult for Keith Law to choose his NL Cy Young.  Pardon me, may I see your FIP? That was my Keith Law impersonation.  It needs work.

Shane Victorino – 3-for-4 with his 14th homer.  Uh-oh, he’s gaining on Ryan Howard.

Brad Lidge – 1 IP, 1 ER and his third blown save.  Lidge loves to turn the vacuum from suck to blow.  He is more than capable of losing the closer job, but I don’t think it happens without a few more blown saves or an injury.

Ryan Madson – Was activated from the DL and blew his 3rd save.  Hey, just like old times!  For those out there with short-term memory — hey, who just wrote that?! — Madson wasn’t great before the trip to the DL, so there’s no reason to think he’s going to suddenly take over for Lidge.  I mean, it’s possible if Lidge continues to be crizzap or gets hurt, but it’s not happening right away.

Jayson Werth – Trade rumors are swirling that Werth might be moved.  His value would obviously take a hit, unless, of course, he moves to Coors or The House They Built Adjacent To The House That Ruth Built, but neither team really needs Werth.  These trade rumors may just be because Utley is sick of his tag team partner (<–not entirely safe for work, unless you work in the porn industry).  That news item reminds me when Willie McGee and Otis Nixon were rumored to be swapping paper bags with the eyes cut out.

It’s always fun when a player is traded from one team to another and doesn’t gain or lose any value whatsoever.  Can’t wait for Moneyball:  The Movie.  After the last image of Billy Beane patting Scott Hatteberg on the butt, the screen fades.  Over black, we read:  After three straight sub-.500 years, Billy Beane, still finding value where no one else is, traded for Conor Jackson, who failed to impress anyone ever but had a career .358 On Base Percentage.  (I imagine Hollywood would spell out OBP.)  Not one dry eye in the entire theater.  Of course, the only ones in the theater are A’s fans, nevertheless!  Pursue Jackson timidly in AL-Only leagues.  Meanwhile, Gerardo Parra will take over for CoJo.  This Parra doesn’t walk people, he runs.  Unfortunately, he hasn’t run enough to make him that interesting in mixed leagues.  Parra’s upside is 7 homers, 15 steals.  He shouldn’t be a liability on average.  Obviously, picking him up depends on your league, but he can be grabbed in NL-Only leagues.  In most mixed leagues, I think there’s gotta be someone more suave than Gerardo.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Aaron Heilman – Will officially take over for Qualls.  Every since Qualls had kneecap n’ crunch last year, he hasn’t seemed right.  Hinch says he’ll let Qualls work in non-pressure situations so he can regain the closer role down the road.  So in leagues where you were hoping to lose him, Qualls once again provides no relief.  Pun point!

Chris Resop – Braves called up Resop because they had no choice due to an out-clause in his contract.  Resop dominated Triple-A to the tune of 1.84 ERA and 81 Ks in 73 1/3 innings.  Right now, he’s nothing more than a middle reliever that gave up 5 earned runs in 2 innings yesterday.

Chipper Jones – 2-for-5 with his 4th homer.  Word is that he’s retiring after this year.  Hopefully he’s not put in charge of the kids’ carpool.  Young lady, don’t for a second think I’m going to believe you were late to school because your father pulled a hammy pouring orange juice.

Melky Cabrera – 2-for-5 and batting near .400 in the last week.  He provides light power and speed, so even a warm Melky will put you to sleep outside of deep leagues.

Chad Billingsley – Placed on the DL with a strained groin.  I blame Alyssa Milano.

Manny Ramirez – Now 6 for his last 8 with 2 homers in his last five games.  This reminds me of what Carlos Lee did recently.  I don’t think Manny’s completely done.  He will get to 25 homers, so now’s as good a time as any.

Matt Lindstrom – Dealing again with back issues from men’s fitness.  Lyon’s the pickup in the mean’s while.  BTW, I wrote the last sentence in a British accent.  Ta!

Justin Masterson -  7 IP, 6 ER, 12 baserunners, 2 Ks.  It’s of little consolation, but Jason Donald should’ve been charged with 4 of his runs.  If you can’t hit, at least try and field.  I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many infield hits in one game.  Wright had an infield single that scored two runners.  I watched it and I’m not even sure how it’s possible.

Travis Hafner – Usually the only reason to own Hafner is to use his head to crack open walnuts, but he has 4 homers in his last 6 games.

Ryan Raburn – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and his first homer.  Leyland is so gooftarded that he hit Raburn leadoff.  A guy with a .242 OBP and a .165 average.  Why did he do this?  Because Raburn was playing centerfield for Austin Jackson, who usually hits leadoff.  Somebody please give Leyland some Liquid Paper so he can change around his lineup card.

Max Scherzer – 6 IP, 3 ER, 9 baserunners, 9 Ks.  The line looks okay, but I watched the game and he was pretty touch and go like your Uncle who has to register when he moves.

Mark Teixeira – He hit a pop-up that went out for a homer.  The Sphinx sitting in front of Yankee Stadium asks, how is Teixeira hitting .229 with only 10 homers in that park?

Milton Bradley – Hit his 3rd homer in his last 5 games.  I’d grab him in leagues where you need a hot outfielder.  BTW, Milton’s name was the 666th word of this post.  Red rum!

Ervin Santana – 5 IP, 6 ER, 12 baserunners, 6 Ks.  After giving up 6 runs in the first two innings, he battled back to make the line look less hideous.  Though the aim of “less hideous” probably wasn’t your goal when owning Ervin.  Or to be time appropriate, goooooooal.

Jeff Suppan – 4 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Suppan would’ve pitched the 5th but Dave Duncan, using all his powers for a respectable 4 innings, self-combusted.

Colby Rasmus – 2-for-4 with his 13th homer as Colby tells me where I can shove my HR/FB%.

C.J. Wilson – 6 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners (6 BBs), 6 Ks.  You may be wondering how someone can walk that many in a 6 inning game and only give up 2 earned.  Easy.  It was an interleague game in an NL park.

Ian Kennedy – 6 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks offah Yawkey.  You shouldn’t have started him here anyway.

Pedro Alvarez – Latest news that I’ve heard is he’s starting today.  If you know better, get smug.

Andrew McCutchen – 3-for-4 with 3 steals.  I love winning steals in H2H on the first full day of games.  That is all.

Matt Tolbert – Hit a home run.  And that’s The Tolbert Report.

Delmon Young – 3-for-4, 2 Runs and a RBI.  Just pick him up and see where it takes you.

Tyler Colvin – 2-for-4 and a home run.  Steve Stone demanded Colvin get more time, Piniella pretended like it was his idea and Colvin’s responding.

David Hernandez – Got the save yesterday even with Simon back.  After watching Hernandez hit 96 MPH, I kinda think the O’s should just stay with him.  He has more closery stuff, but he is wild as any turkey ever was.  I’d continue to hold both Hernandez and Simon until someone emerges.

Brian Roberts – Out for another 6 weeks.  Maybe he’s trying to save up his energy for his run at 2011′s Comeback Player honors.  Even after 6 weeks, he still has to go to the minors to rehab, which is a chance to reinjure himself.  Then if he does play for the O’s, he’s not going to be stealing like he would.  If you got a mediocre 30 games from him this year, I’d be impressed.

Adam Jones – 2-for-4 with a homer and hitting .342 over his last ten games.  It’s not Player of the Month-type gas, but at least he’s cooking with something.

Joe Martinez – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 9 baserunners, 2 Ks.  Can’t believe the Giants chose Joe Martinez instead of Bumgarner.  Shouldn’t he be Jose Martinez?  Or Joe Martin?

Felipe Paulino – 4 2/3 IP, 8 ER, 14 baserunners, 2 Ks and 6 fantasy owner’s teeth that he kicked in.

Todd Helton – I saw the box score and it read Helton (2, 6th inning blah blah blah) and I was like, “Wow, Helton hit two homers,” then I realized I read it wrong and he only has 2 homers on the year.  Maybe Helton and Chipper can alternate carpool days.  BTW, I have a new feature that I want implemented into all box scores.  In-game box scores should have a little symbol that indicates who is in line for the Win.  Can be an asterisk, I don’t care.  But when it’s a 5-4 game in the 8th and both starters are out, I want to know who’s in line for the Win.  I don’t know how we get this implemented.  But I want it now!

Clay Buchholz – 5 2/3 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks.  Whoa, I’m having a vision of the future.  I’m seeing Buchholz win 18 games to lead the AL, finish in the top 3 in the Cy Young voting and become overrated for next season.  Oh, and in the future Ashton Kutcher does a movie with a talking rooster that is voiced by Brad Garrett.  It’s called Dumb Cock.

Josh Johnson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks and has a 1.86 ERA on the year.  As his brother Gosh says, “Golly.”

I picked up Doug Fister in every league I could.  So, that’s out of the way.  I won’t start him the next time out though and I’m not sure I’ll start him ever.  I may just drop him if I never get a good matchup at home.  At home’s key.  That’s the only place I’d start him.  Last night, his 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks performance is his peak.  He pitches to contact and doesn’t K anyone.  He’s similar to Joel Pineiro.  Call him Jo-eh.  If you were the firster to get him off waivers, chuck him into a package trade for someone much more reliable or exciting.  His appeal is limited.  So, yes, I grabbed him to chuck him.  My apologies, Mister Fister.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Casey Kotchman – Hit his 2nd homer in as many days.  Going mono y mano with Soriole, Bradley Bergesen.

Franklin Gutierrez – The Big FraGu left the game in the 7th with tightness in his groin.  Ugh-arf!  That’s FraGu backwards (almost).

Conor Jackson – To the DL with a hamstring.  This is probably the best thing to happen to his owners all year.  If you’re struggling to find room for him on the DL, I’ll save you the time.  Drop him in most mixed leagues.

Kelly Johnson – 1-for-4, but Conor Jackson’s hamfret pushes Johnson into the leadoff role.  I like me some Johnson!  Not like that.  C’mon, that’s juvenile.

Gerardo Parra – 1-for-3, and now has a starting job because Conor Jackson’s injury is paying it forward.  Parra has little value outside of NL-Only leagues.  There, he’ll give you very little power and little speed.

Ty Wigginton – I mentioned grabbing him yesterday when he had four homers in the last week.  Today, he has 5.

David Eckstein – He hit a walk-off HR for San Diego.  When pressed for comment, Eckstein said it was his biggest hit since knocking out Soda Popinski.

Clayton Richard – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s not really bad on Ks and he will have an under-4 ERA at home this year.

Brian Fuentes – Scheduled to return from the DL on Wednesday.  He should get the closer role right back.  At least I hope so since I own this doode.

John Lackey – 3 1/3 IP, 8 ER.  A’la Superintendent Chalmers, “Lack-eee!”  Honestly, this might have been Lackey’s alter ego pitching, Lon Jackey.  He pitches like he’s in a horror film.

Mike Cameron – Could miss a few games because he’s got some stones below the belt in the literal instead of colloquial sense.

Jacoby Ellsbury – May end up D’ellsburied after all.  The Sawx played Bill Hall in center yesterday.  How’s that for depth?

Jeremy Hermida – HR yesterday.  Hermida couldn’t get to a ball he should’ve, which started the scoring on Lackey.  Hermida is a poor-man’s Trot Nixon.  Call him Mosey Agnew.

Brad Penny – 7 IP, 2 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s actually been one of my best pitchers so far.  Scary, yet true.

Aaron Rowand – Reports are good that Rowand won’t need surgery on his face.  Too bad Willie McGee never received the same good news.

Juan Uribe – Has two homers in the last two games.  He’s one of the streakiest hitters.  Bet he hits at least two more homers this week.

Dontrelle Willis – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He seems like a good guy.  I wish him the best.  I wouldn’t touch him.

Felix Pie – Will miss up to three months with latissimus dorsi muscle injury.  I thought only dolphins had dorsi muscles.  Anyone ever see Felix Pie flinch around a can of tuna?  Eh, guess it’s not important.  I imagine Reimold’s still nursing his Achilles’ because he’s pulling a Kotchman with that thing, but he’s got one less schmohawk to deal with for playing time and he has been hitting cleanup.

Kelly Shoppach – Out for 4-6 weeks with knee surgery.  I had knee surgery once and I wasn’t able to catch for almost two months later.  Actually, that’s a complete lie, but my English Comp teacher once told me to personalize.

Brandon Morrow – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 8 Ks vs. the Royals.  Now they should make him a closer!  I keed.  Morrow should be capable of more performances like this one, but he gets the Rays next and I’m officially more worried about the Rays’ offense than the Sawx’s.

Mike McCoy – 3-for-4, 2 steals.  Hill’s due back soon which will push McCoy to, well, wherever McCoys go when they’re not playing.  In the meantime, McCoy stole 40 bases in Triple-A.  As they say at Razzball, SAGNOF!

Travis Snider – 2-for-5 as he hit his 2nd homer in four games.  I think he might be a year away still, but he could be coming around; don’t sleep on him if he’s out there.

Cliff Lee – Will throw a simulated game on Tuesday.  They should use a Wii for that.

Ike Davis – 2-for-4, 1 RBI and a million New Yawkers thinking this Davis has an idear up der at bat.  If you scroll down, you’ll see a post about him.  Want more, greedy?  Okay.  The Mets announcers (I heart Keith Hernandez) were comparing Davis to John Olerud.  Davis was wearing a batting helmet at the time, but they meant it about his hitting.  Also, they meant it as a compliment, but I took it as insult.  20 homers and a good average?  I’m hoping he develops more power than that.  Either way, you should own Davis for the chance at a breakout.

Jose Reyes – Wanted the day off because of fatigue.  It’s fair after playing three plus games in two days.  Then he got in the game late and continued to do nothing.  We need to remain calm.  He had no time to ramp up to the season.  The thyroid shorted him his Spring Training.  I’m not worried.  If Reyes gets hot, he could carry you for a month.

Craig Stammen – 8 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  That Stammen is a real pistil!  What, flower jokes ain’t your thing?  Whatever.  Oh, and Stammen’s a terrible pitcher, nothing’s changed.

Kevin Mench – The Nationals gave him a minor league deal and he’s hitting so far.  If the Nats call him up, I’m booking tickets for Kevin Mench Fathead Poster day when the first 10,000 guests get life-sized posters of Kevin Mench’s head that one can affix to their wall like a giant tapestry or fresco.

Scott Podsednik – Left the team for a family emergency.  The emergency:  give his hot wife a royal f***in’ vs. playing for the f***in’ Royals.

I know most of you are champing/chomping at the bit for me to finish these facacta 2010 fantasy baseball rankings.  Well, the pitchers are right around the corner.  Some of these top 80 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball are long shots to make the club, but they might give you value if they do.  Or they might just give you value when they’re called up in the summer.  As Kanye West said, I’ll show you how I cook up summer in the win-turr.  As with the other rankings, where I see tiers start and stop are mentioned with my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball:

61. Krispie Young – This is the first tier.  This tier goes from here until Francoeur.  I call this tier, “The few veteran outfielders I’d take a flier on late, and even these guys leave a lot to be desired.”  If Krispie hits a third of his infield pop-ups for homers next year, he’ll hit 40.  And if I were 30 years old in 1760, I’d think Martha Washington was hot.  2010 Projections:  60/20/75/.245/15

62. Nick Swisher – Swisher reminds me of a just-post-roided Giambi.  25+ homers and a poor average.  What I sorta like about him?  I feel like he can hit 35 homers.  Hard to find that late.  2010 Projections:  80/30/90/.255

63. Delmon Young – The fact that he’s only 24 and he ended up in the veteran outfielders that are kind eh category is both the good and bad.  The good, his tools can still develop.  The bad, what’s taking so effin’ long?  2010 Projections:  55/17/75/.290/7

64. Lastings Milledge – Three short years ago Mets fans were debating if the organization should unretire number 41 in case Milledge wanted to wear it.  Now, the Pirates are debating between Milledge and Brandon Moss in the outfield.  Milledge will only be 25 in 2010 so you shouldn’t write him off… Just don’t write him in with ink.  2010 Projections:  60/12/70/.265/12

65. Jeff Francoeur – It’s only fair that you know that I placed Frenchy in the below tier of guys I don’t want at all then moved him up to this tier… Then down… Then up.  Just don’t want you to feel flimflammed on my Frenchy flip-floppery.  (<–Alliteration in lieu of wit.)  2010 Projections:  75/20/85/.275/5

66. Juan Rivera – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Willingham.  I call this tier, “Guys that you draft that you shouldn’t.”  What I mean with this tier, you’re better off just taking a flier on upside.  Willingham, Ross, Rivera, et al are guys that are always on waivers.  Maybe not them per se, but guys that do exactly the same thing.  If you don’t get Willingham in a draft, so what?  You can get ten other guys off of waivers that do the same thing.  2010 Projections:  65/24/75/.280

67. Cody Ross – Something about a player with two first names that always translates to boring.  If you’re able to draft Ross and hold him for longer than a week of the season, you have more patience than me.  His 25 homers and 5 steals and .270 average look okay on draft day, but there’s always someone who breaks out the first week of the season and Ross is the first one to go.  2010 Projections:  65/22/75/.265/5

68. David DeJesus – Someone save us from this tier.  2010 Projections:  80/12/60/.280/7

69. Jermaine Dye – Just when you thought this tier couldn’t get yawnstipating-er.  2010 Projections:  70/22/85/.260

70. Josh Willingham -  The best thing I can say about Willingham is that he’s the last name in this tier.  2010 Projections:  60/24/70/.255/3

71. Cameron Maybin – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until the end.  I call this tier, “These guys may not even have a starting job.  So?”  When you’re this deep into a position, you’re better off taking a flier on upside.  I’ll give you an example to explain my point.  Jason Heyward starts the season hot.  Hits 5 homers and steals 4 bases in April.  You can trade him for someone that far exceeds his value.  Juan Rivera starts the season hot.  He hits 7 homers in April.  You know who you can trade him to?  His Moms.  That’s about it.  Do I want an outfield of Heyward, Maybin and Stanton?  Maybe in 2012.  No way for this year.  re: Maybin; If you’ve been reading the site for longer than a minute — not an Urban Dictionary minute which is actually a long time — you’ll know I was crushing hard on Maybin last year.  Nothing’s changed except his shoulder’s healed and he’s a year more seasoned like that beef stew in the back of your fridge.  I’m everywhere!  2010 Projections:  85/14/50/.285/20

72. Jake Fox – His projections are over at the top 20 3rd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball.

73. Jason Heyward – Went over my Jason Heyward fantasy there.  2010 Projections:  65/12/70/.290/20

74. Desmond Jennings – Went over Desmond Jennings fantasy there.  2010 Projections:  75/7/45/.285/25

75. Austin Jackson – Jackson is supposedly going to be the starting center fielder for the Tigers.  He’s shown a lot more speed than power in the minor leagues and that shouldn’t disappear in the majors.  His .300 average in Triple-A looks like an aberration.  He’s liable to get exploited on breaking stuff.  A .250-.260 average wouldn’t surprise me.  Watching Leyland run Clete Thomas and Raburn out there in 2009 without much to show for it makes methinks Jackson will not only be the starting center fielder but he’ll probably lead off.  2010 Projections:  85/5/50/.275/22

76. Michael Taylor – Went over my Michael Taylor fantasy already.  2010 Projections:  85/12/60/.280/15

77. Kyle Blanks – Blanks, the love child of Fabulous Moolah and Kamala, the Ugandan Giant, naturally has some power in his ginourmous frame.  He should get to 25 homers easily and the average probably won’t be as bad as you might think for an all-or-nothing-type.  2010 Projections:  60/30/85/.270/3

78. Matt LaPorta – I’m real worried about the hip surgery he had in October.  He’s much younger than most guys who have this surgery — by about 50 years — but still any time you go messing with a guy’s hip I think there has to be some residual soreness or so I saw on House.  Have to watch in Spring Training to see how he’s coping.  2010 Projections:  65/17/80/.275

79. Gerardo Parra – For Parra to get near 25 steals, he’d probably get thrown out 30 times.  Cust kayin’.  2010 Projections:  75/10/60/.295/10

80. Ryan Raburn – With Fowler and CarGo, the Rockies are the fantasy sleeper outfield of 2010.  With Austin Jackson and Raburn, the Tigers want that title.  In 2006 and 2007, Raburn put up numbers in Triple-A (averaged 18 homers and 14 steals) that put him on the map.  Then, in 261 ABs last year, he had 16 homers and 5 steals.  Even though Ryan Raburn sounds like someone that should be dating Angela Lansbury, he has some upside and Leyland seems committed to giving him a chance. 2010 Projections: 65/22/75/.265/10 <–  crazy optimistic, but whatever.

After the top 80 outfielders for 2010 fantasy baseball, there’s really not that many guys, but here’s two to look at:

Michael Saunders – Probably won’t play unless Bradley’s hurt… Oh, wait a minute, Bradley’s always hurt.  Saunders looks like a poor man’s FraGu.  Slight power, Slight speed.  Best case scenario, 15/15.  One thought, if Saunders was a solid prospect, why wasn’t he traded to the Orioles?  2010 Projections:  55/12/65/.275/15

Seth Smith – Man, I got it bad for the Rockies outfield this year (except Hawpe. Hmm… Guess that means I only like 2 out of 3.  Nevertheless!).  If Smith can somehow corral 450 ABs, he could get to 20+ homers and 10+ steals.  It’s a longshot that is predicated on playing time. Predicated-schedicated…  Get rid of Hawpe!  2010 Projections:  60/15/75/.290/10 with plenty of upside from there, but he needs a starting job.

J.A. Happ threw a complete game shutout yesterday with only 6 baserunners and 10 Ks vs.  Jorge de la Rosa’s 5 IP, 7 ER, 3 Ks line.  I pretty much saw this matchup going almost exactly opposite.  Maybe I had my contacts in backwards.  dlR had won seven games in a row.  Happ was coming off two losses.  dlR’s a lefty, the Phils don’t hit lefties well.  Maybe I underestimated Happ’s desire to stay in the rotation with Pedro breathing down his neck.  This was a solid case for that, but if the Phils don’t pull Happ from the rotation they’re jeopardizing his 2010 (when people take flying cars to the ballpark).  Happ should be moved to the bullpen and Pedro should be put into the rotation.  Even if that means Pedro throws a bunch of 4 inning, 3 run games and Happ comes in in the 5th inning and throws three dominant innings.  It’s the right move for everyone and I think that’s the way the Phils should/will go.  To clarify, this is not an endorsement of Pedro.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

David Wright – HR yesterday.  As I said yesterday in the comments, “(The Mets play-by-play man, Cohen, said) that was (Wright’s) first opposite field homer in the new park.  For a guy that goes that way, that’s not great.  After all, we’re in August.”  And that’s me quoting me quoting Gary Cohen!  Cohen also said the humidity may be helping the ball carry.  So now Metco is Yellowstone instead of the Grand Canyon.  Sah-weet.

Jon Niese – Out for the season.  Surprisingly, the Mets trainer had time to help him off the field.

Gary Sheffield – Left the game with an injury.  It’s The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard.

Pablo Sandoval – 3-for-4, .334 on the season.  I think the average comes down a bit by the end of the season (not much).  But Pablo’s been an absolute revelation this year — .374 on the season as a righty.  .314 as a lefty.  .382 in home games.  17 homers.  4 steals.  Catcher eligibility.  Same weight as Kyle Blanks and seven inches shorter.  In the beginning of the year, I mentioned that I thought Sandoval looked a lot like Edgar Martinez.  I still think it.  And he’s affectionately nicknamed Kung-Fu Panda because he’s athletic and fat.  (I would’ve went with the other athletic, fat person nickname — The Fabulous Moolah.)

Chad Gaudin – 3 1/3 IP, 6 ER.  I should’ve made a bigger deal of this when I did it, but the other day I dropped Gaudin in all of my leagues.  He’s consistently been better in road games.  A HodgePadre who can’t pitch at Petco makes no sense to me.  I don’t know what to do with that.  Makes me feel like Rainman when he can’t watch Jeopardy.

Will Venable – Another HR.  Okay, sorta on topic, sorta not, but I’ve been meaning to address this.  There’s no reason to ask me something like, “Venable or Velez for the rest of the year?”  The rest of the season?  These guys may not be good by the middle of August.  The rest of the season only applies if you play in a league where you have a limited number of moves or you’re marrying a von Bülow.  Don’t get attached to anyone in your UTIL spot, MI or fifth outfield spot.  I have Kyle Blanks, Wigginton, David Murphy, Velez, Venable, Beckham, Robot Jones and Gomes on different teams (thankfully).  I can guarantee you I won’t have 90% of those guys in two weeks.  In fact, I just dropped Gomes.  Play the hot guy and move on.  Especially at this time of the year.  Okay, school’s out, Alice Cooper.

David Murphy – 2 HRs yesterday.  As mentioned above, I own him on a few teams.

Kevin Gregg – Returned from a tired arm.  Piniella was annoyed that Gregg didn’t mention he was suffering from a tired arm over the weekend when he blew two saves, saying, “I can’t just read somebody’s mind.  I can look at the stuff, but by the time I look at the stuff, it’s a little late.  The ball’s out of the ballpark and the mojito doesn’t taste as good.”  He sounds like LaRussa.

Francisco Liriano – 5 IP, 4 ER, 12 baserunners vs. a team that was selling at the trade deadline.  You’re really wasting your time with Liriano.

Aaron Laffey – 8 IP, 0 ER.  If you pick him up, you will be Sobby.

Edwin Jackson – 8 IP, 2 ER, 8 Ks.  As you can imagine, I don’t root for players I don’t own, but I’m kinda rooting for Edwin.  He’s been at the game ever since honeys been wearin’ Sassoons.  Nice that he’s finally making good.  Man, I really love prospects who fail at first.

John Lannan – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 Ks.  He can just as easily get shelled in his next start out vs. the Braves.  I’m pessimistically cautious going forward.

Gerardo Parra – 2-for-5 and a steal, as he bats almost .400 over his last 7 games.  I’m picking him up in a few leagues, though his lack of legit speed bores me so he may not stay on any team too long.

Ryan Roberts – Now has 3 homers in the last two days.  I still don’t think this is going anywhere you wanna go, but if you’re hurting at MI, it won’t hurt to grab him.

Erik Bedard – His shoulder is still sore and he’s headed for an MRI.  Punt!

Justin Upton – Strained oblique (vague!).  Hopefully it’s not too bad, but unfortunately these are the sort of injuries that linger like poorly chewed jalapenos.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 29th homer yesterday.  Country strong.

Jim Thome – 2 HRs yesterday.  Country stronger.

Gavin Floyd – 8 IP, 1 ER.  Absolutely incredible the year he’s putting together in his home park.  Around a two and a half ERA at home, while over 5.50 ERA away.

Jason Bay – HR yesterday.  It was his first one since July 7th.  Good sign!  Reaggravated his hamstring injury.  Bad sign!

Marc Rzepczynski – 6 IP, 4 ER, 7 Ks.  Only one walk, which is a good sign for The RZE, but I still wouldn’t own him this year.

Justin Lehr – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 4 Ks.  Here’s what you do with Justin Lehr.  Photoshop Justin Lehr’s name onto Stephen Strasburg’s college stats page, then screenshot it and post the .jpg in your league messageboard.

David Price – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 Ks, 0 walks.  Nice showing vs. the Sawx.  Very nice to see him string back-to-back starts together.  Let’s hope his next start vs. the Angels is his third step forward.

Prince Fielder – Stole a base yesterday.  After the game, he said he pictured Mota’s face on the 2nd base bag.

Garrett Jones – HR yesterday.  You know how you love a guy for a week or two when he’s out of his mind, hitting homers every game, then he goes through a week slump and you’re ready to drop him.  Then the day you prepare to drop him, he hits a homer.  Now are you excited by this latest homer or annoyed?  I kinda get annoyed.  I just want him to fail one more day so I can drop him.  I gotta talk to my shrink about what that means.