Already thin 3rd base position just got a lot thinner with Pablo Sandoval breaking his hamate bone. When Sandoval first heard the bad news, he pulled a half-eaten ham bone out of his pocket and asked if the doctor could insert it in the injured bone’s place. He couldn’t. Sandoval now knows how Rikki Lake feels when she lost all that weight then lost her job. Sometimes fatty boombalatties are best to stay fatty boombalatties. Hey, I don’t make the world, I just live in it. So, Sandoval will miss up to 2 months with surgery and rehab. His blimpotence was already an issue and hamate bone breaks tend to zap power further. It’s not a good day to own Sandoval. Yesterday wasn’t very good either. Tomorrow probably won’t be much better. Then on Wednesday…Well, you get the point. When Mark DeRosa returns, he stands to see an increase in ABs, for those in NL-Only leagues who just need counting stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Zimmerman – Will miss 6 weeks with a tear of the rectus muscle in his abdomen. Why does he have an anus in his stomach? Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jonathan Broxton blew his first save because of an error and he’s out as closer. Hmph. The Dodgers’ GM Colletti said the Dodgers would turn to Padilla and Broxton with Kuo joining the mix when he returns at the end of the week. Hmph. Hmph. Mattingly then said last I checked Colletti doesn’t have a goatee and Broxton is still his closer, no committee. Hmph. Hmph. Hmph. Whatcha gonna do with all those hmphs? All those hmphs up in your trunk? Then Mattingly called Colletti a dwarf brain and shaved his goatee to reveal a cold sore. Got all that? Glad one of us does. I’d own Broxton and Kuo. Wouldn’t mess with this Padilla or this Padilla. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
James Loney – 4-for-4 with a steal. I almost wrote the other day how there’s no way Loney stays hitting .200, but then I grew bored and fell asleep… Snooze…
Phil Hughes – Underwent four hours of tests on his arm. Towards the end his arm just started answering C for everything. Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is almost the end of the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there was one guy who truly emerged (Mat Latos) and a few who kinda did (Filthy Sanchez, Trevor Cahill and Brandon Morrow), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list. But humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball:
61. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, Hanley Ramirez is Hanley Ramirez, and a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all is a guy that will play a bit bruised giving it his all, and never the twain shall meet. (I think a “twain” is a train as pronounced by Elmer Fudd. Don’t quote me on that though. It could be referring to Shania. My Google’s broke so I’m shooting from the hip.) Hanley playing with Pujols’ level of dedication is probably the best shortstop anyone has ever seen. Hanley as he is now is probably Andruw Jones in five years. As I’ve said before about Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well. Hanley hasn’t played since last Wednesday, but for now he’s listed as day-to-day. Half of me says hold out hope for Hanley to return ASAP. The other half of me says he has 2 homers and 4 steals this month. You can probably find that production elsewhere in the last two weeks. Since Hanley is undroppable in most formats, it’s all probably moot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Volstad – 9 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks as he handily beat Carpenter (6 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks) and the Cardinals. I’ll tell ya what, when the Cards fold, they don’t play. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before the NAAPP, National Association for the Advancement of Polish People, write me, it’s not Polish, it’s polish. Pa-lish. Not Pole-lish… Oh, forget it. David Murphy has a hit in every game this month and, with Hamilton out, he’s playing every day. In the month of September, he has a .380 average, 2 homers, 3 steals, 10 RBIs and 7 instances of “Who the hell is David Murphy?” from fantasy owners. Texas Rangers media guide has him listed as “That Guy” and a picture of William Fichtner. When Murphy goes to the plate, there’s no song playing. Know why? Cause he’s unsung! Thank you, don’t forget to tip your waitresses. I know the prevailing thought with Murphy is he’s a platoon player, but why does that have to be Murphy’s Law? Well, because he can’t hit lefties usually but he is right now, so, like a trophy wife, own while hot. Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Emilio Bonifacio – If you picked up Bonifacio in April of 2009 in your keeper then were abducted by aliens, your team’s looking good again. The Xavier Nady pickup doesn’t look too bad either. Though you may want to switch out Cantu. Please, blog, may I have some more?
So far in this month of September, Troy Tulowitzki has 11 homers and 27 RBIs. This is Hungrybear9562 owning Tulo in a H2H league this month — It’s a DOUBLE HOME RUN! All the way across the sky! OH. MY. GOD. A double home run. Wait, is this a triple home run? No, it’s a double home run. It’s beautiful. *cries* The only thing ever holding Tulo back is health. If Tulo can stay healthy for an entire year… Well, look at his 2009 stats — 32 homers, 20 steals and a .297 average. Next year, he’ll only be 26-years-old and hitters tend not to peak until the age of 27. Yum with a double shot of gimme. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Eric Young Jr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Ryan Perry got the save yesterday because Jose Valverde is out with a tender elbow. Valverde isn’t supposed to be out long but whenever a reliever’s elbow is in question — or any pitcher, for that matter — it’s cause for concern. With the Tigers playing for nothing, they could shut Valverde down. Phil Coke could see some situational saves. When reached for comment about his new role, Phil Coke said, “This is it?” By the way, he’s the best lefty reliever synonymous with Coke since Steve Howe. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Johnny Damon – 4-for-4, 2 Runs and an RBI. Not a bad day to stream him into my lineup. Hit the wall, turn on the lights, blow on my fist, rub fist on leather jacket and say, “Ayyyyyy.” (Wasn’t as great a day to stream Casper Wells or Don Kelly, who’s also known as LL Donkey.)
Rick Porcello – 8 IP, 3 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 K. It’s legitimately hard for me to give a non-hedged endorsement to Porcello. I don’t like his lack of Ks, but at this stage in the year, all’s fair in love and the waiver wire. Porcello’s pitching well and gets the Royals in his start after next. His next start vs. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange. Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat. Lee-haw! The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins. Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch. I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16. Do the math! The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis. It’s curable, but you usually need a new team. Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled. Hip-hip-Hoffpauir! Not really. I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting. Please, blog, may I have some more?
What I never understood about the trading deadline is why wait until the last second to make a trade? Did the Padres really wake up on July 31st and think they suddenly needed a bat? Wasn’t this apparent on April 2nd? I understand you don’t trade for pieces if you’re out of it, but the Padres, for instance, haven’t been out of it all season, unless they assumed they weren’t contending when the season started. Maybe they wouldn’t have got Ryan Ludwick, because the Cards may not have been selling him in April, but they needed someone. Then there’s the other deals that remind me of my friend who buys things just because they are on sale. “Do you really need a 120 count box of chicken bouillon?” “No, but Shop-Rite was selling Chicken Bazillions for only $2.99.” So, in that vein, do you really need Matt Capps when Jon Rauch is serviceable? No, but we’ve been dying to shed these upside prospects and the price was right. Deep thoughts by Grey Albright, I suppose. Anyway, here’s what I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Lance Berkman – Traded to the Yankees. This is one of those moves that’s actually better for fantasy. In real baseball, adding Berkman to the Yankees lineup is like adding pecan sandies to a tray of chocolate chip cookies. Hey, if you like a pecan sandie, then go for it. I think you were fine with the chocolate chips. Let’s face it, leaving Houston helps anyone’s value. Berkman goes from between Keppinger and The Glue They Once Called El Caballo to hitting in an All-Star lineup. Hey, Runs and RBIs, nice to see you again. As I mentioned in the comments when the trade went down, A-Rod’s sitting at 16 homers, so don’t expect The Stadium They Built Next To The Stadium That Ruth Built to suddenly add 20 homers to Berkman. He’s still old and struggling. Value goes up, but only so much. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Logan Morrison played at the same community college as Albert Pujols. That’s two more MLB players than Middlesex County College or MC-squared as we called it. Let’s look at what Stephen wrote about Morrison, “Blessed with a balanced, flat swing with plus-power, and the organization’s best plate-discipline… The only thing more exciting than Morrison is pasting copies of Grey’s photo to a dartboard and piercing his eyeballs.” Hmm… Hadn’t read that last part before. A rookie with good plate discipline and power is really all you need to know when considering a guy for keepers. Own and own now. So is it time to get on board the LogaMotive in redraft leagues? As a disgruntled horse would say, “What the hey?” When met with choosing between upside and a random schmohawk outfielder behind door number three, you go with upside. Just don’t crazy and drop anyone too valuable. I imagine Morrison will lose some playing time to Bonifacio and might struggle in the beginning. Conservatively, I’ve give him 8 homers and a decent average. The upside is obviously there and if he hits out of the gate, his name value will provide more than his actual worth on the trade market. A lot depends on if the Marlins take it fast or slow with LogaMo. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jason Bay – Out with a mild concussion. This would explain a lot if it happened in March and was just discovered. Please, blog, may I have some more?