Freddy Garcia

Scott Evans

Two-Startapalooza — Week 8

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 92 Comments

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The week 8 two-start landscape is particularly cruddy. Sure, if you’ve got a Kershaw- or Miller-type two-starter you’re set; you’re awesome. Good for you. Those of us perusing the wire for our two-starters, though, are left with mostly turds. It’s really bad. We have ten dudes in the “DON’T START” tier. Our previous high in that department was six, and that week is the only other with more than three in the bottom tier. Maybe I’m just in a pessimistic mood, but I truly don’t trust the bulk of the week 8 crop. Take it easy on the two-start streaming this week.

As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. For a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Price In The Middle Of Triceps Injury, Word

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 866 Comments

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Because I can’t have anything nice. That is the answer to why David Price left the game injured. For those of you worried about me, I’m gonna be okay. I have the love of a good cougar. Too bad she can’t pitch for my goddamn fantasy team! Why do you laugh at me, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? Fantasy Baseball Overlord, “Because you traded Machado for him and no man’s love will come before myself or Machado.” “I didn’t know. Is this a new fantasy commandment? All I saw was David Price’s K-rate was down last April too and he went on to win the Cy Young?!” “Are you interrogating me? The man who molded Billy Butler’s moobs with my own two hands.” Sorry, have I not serviced you correctly? Would you like a reach around? Do you have to rain frogs down on my team? Hello? Oh, I guess I lost him, stupid iPhone. And I lost David Price too. So, Price left because of triceps tightness. Hopefully after a DL stint, he’ll be back to his old dbnsjicns Oops, will cross my fingers when I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Having Mottrimony Issues? Call Mitchell Boggs, Attorney at SAGNOF

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 539 Comments

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If you’re like me, once you finish your fantasy draft, you have a photographer take a picture of you with your team. You pull up your team page on your laptop, and the both of you sit next to a flower bed. The setting is similar to your mother’s yearbook picture. The cameraman even uses the filter that blurs out everything around you. As you wait for the makeup person to dab cover-up on your nose pimple, you reach into the flower bed and pull out a hydrangea. Then you speak directly to the SAGNOF Gods and recite his prayer, “He loves me, he loves me Motte, he loves me, he loves me Motte, he loves….” And the last petal ends on “He loves me Motte.” And you weep. Motte has an elbow strain and you’re stuck with his litigious brother-in-law, Mitchell Boggs. The Cardinals are currently saying all the right things, “Motte will be fine,” “Mitchell will temporarily fill-in,” “We had no idea McGwire was on steroids.” An elbow strain sounds like a thing that’s going to take Motte from his 40-save potential to an eight-save season with a 5.00+ ERA, which will be interrupted by surgery. Grab Boggs in every league, he could easily be a top five closer for this year. If you own Motte, you obviously DL him and hope for the best. Anyway, here’s what else I saw in Spring Training for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 21

| 2012 Fantasy Baseball, Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 7 Comments

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As a rule of thumb, I figure the best way to fully concentrate on writing these articles is to put on a god-awful dance movie in the background.  Unless you secretly like those movies and then I have to ask, what are you doing here?  Try it sometimes, it is the best way to become both smarter and less distracted.  I don’t have to give specifics, but anything that features dance and horrible soundtracks will suffice.  Ok, back to the lecture at hand, this is most certainly a 2 start thang.  I am personally liking the lower end options this week, lots of guys that are most likely available in most leagues of moderate size, and the match-ups seem just ripe for the fantasy pickings.  So do like Indiana Jones and choose, but choose wisely.  Because not all good things are shiny and expected.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 18

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 12 Comments

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This week could end up being a jumbled up mess with the trade deadline, so that is my fair warning salvo.  With only a handful of weeks remaining, it is getting to be put up or shut up — or fantasy football prep.  I mean, as fun as the drafting is, isn’t it better to finish what you started way back in March.  I know the trade deadline may or may not throw monkey wrenches into real life baseball, but we play fake baseball with mythical stallions and our sword is a mouse.  I mean, what’s more intimidating than having the ability to right click somebody, I know I just shivered.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Smokey

2012 Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers, Week 14

| Fantasy Baseball Two Start Pitchers | 19 Comments

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The week leading up to the All Star break is always fun times for me — it’s when I can take my paid vacation to beautiful Bayonne, NJ.  My all-inclusive cab ride includes a firsthand view of a few muggings, a stop for gas, and a flavored shaved ice from Primo, the traveling shaved ice guy.  In all seriousness, this is a good time to look at your roster and actually commit to it or start pondering the fantasy football drafts.  So happy 4th of July to all and I hope the fantasy gods bless you with bountiful stashes of herbs and RBI’s.  (Please note that pitchers and match-ups may change)

Everett Teaford (@Tor vs Romero, @Det vs Fister) Sounds like a guy I would want selling Butterscotch Krimpets, not throwing two games in one week.  I have seriously reconsidered how much I like those Krimpets now that I have written about them.

Please, blog, may I have some more?