In the last month Brian Dozier has been bulldozing opponents like it’s his job. Technically it is his job, but he gets an “A” for effort and is the run away candidate for Employee of the Month. Gary Sanchez who? After two hot weeks, he’s been more like Harry Sanchez. And in case you didn’t know who Harry Sanchez was, the Urban Dictionary defines him as “Same as Dirty Sanchez with the addition of pulling the hair from ones taint, and making a mustache from the left overs of the dirty sanchez.” While I’m pretty sure anyone can add entries to the Urban Dictionary as I’ve done so myself, I’d have to say this description is pretty accurate considering Gary has totaled zero points in the last two weeks. Just in time for points leagues playoffs. (This opening was written on Friday before Sanchez hit two home runs.)Please, blog, may I have some more?
I went over some September call-ups primer yesterday. It was written pretty smoothly. Meaning: I took a laxative and crapped out a post. I’m a modest man of modest means. What can I say? Everyone wants Yoan Moncada all over their fantasy shizz. Some of y’all got Tom Murphy on the brain. Others of you are wondering about Jose De Leon and how his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-uncle’s quest for the Fountain of Youth was shorter than the time it took the Dodgers to call Jose up. None of you are interested in Byron Buxton. Been there, eff that. I hear you, prematurely balding internet friend. He’s all served us a steak that later turned out to be tofu that left us scrubbing our tongues with our fingernails. All the way back in March, Buxton was still considered a sure-fire, can’t miss prospect. I think he still is. Not everyone takes the path of least resistance. For unstints, I saw a video of a McNugget on Twitter that showed much resistance. Yesterday, Buxton went 1-for-3, 3 RBIs and his 2nd homer, and I would grab him in all leagues looking for A) Spark. B) Speed. C) No C. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
If you’re still focused on fantasy baseball, pat yourself on the back for either making it into the playoffs or at least being in the playoff hunt. Here’s an interesting, and possibly false, stat. I started the season with thirty-one followers. I am currently down to eighteen. Seventeen of those eighteen have put themselves into a playoff position by reading my posts. The one follower that is not is my wife. She doesn’t even play fantasy baseball, she just reads my posts every week to make sure I am actually writing a post when she asks me to do something and I tell I can’t because I have to write an article. Ok, so I don’t really know how many followers I had or still have, or how many have actually benefited from my guidance, but I do know this. One hundred percent of my readers that are in the playoffs are actually in the playoffs. They’ve done studies, you know. 60% of the time, it works every time.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stephen Strasburg hitting the disabled list puts the punctuation mark on the end of my fantasy baseball season. This has not been a season I’d like to remember. Despite having the third most points scored in my head-to-head points league, I am sitting one spot out of last place. The only take home is that I will have the second pick in next year’s draft. Can’t wait. Seriously though I couldn’t be more ready for fantasy football at this point. However, I still have an obligation to my four readers. Wait, do I? Grey? Ok fine! Not everyone is in the same position as me (or is it “as I”). I guess it’s whatever I write. It’s not like the grammar police is one of my four followers. And if they are, what are the chances they will correct me.
So where did I go wrong this season? Coming off a championship season, how did I fall so far? Was it just bad luck or bad decisions? Or was it the fact that I had last pick?
Note: My Fantasy Football RCL is almost full and drafts tonight! Join here…Please, blog, may I have some more?
At Stephen Strasburg‘s summer DL rental, the driveway is an inverted W and he timeshares with Ryan Zimmerman. The Nationals said Strasburg’s elbow issue is not structural. Yeah, it’s deconstructed like a Cobb salad at some overpriced restaurant. I’m sure Strasburg is totally fine and it’s completely coincidental that he has a 10.19 ERA in August. Totally unrelated, guys and five girl readers, totally unrelated. Strasburg feels like the kind of pitcher that we can never rely on for more than 150 IP. In five years, he’s thrown 200+ IP once and he’s 28 years old. Oh, and ‘member how Strasburg was supposed to bounce back this year? He currently has the worst ERA of his career. Yeah, great. In my fantasy team news, because who doesn’t love someone talking about their fantasy team, Strasburg hit the DL about an hour after my weekly Scout league locked. The same league where I was in first a week ago before Strasburg went to Coors and Lackey went to the DL. The same league where I’m now in 2nd. The same league where I needed Strasburg to start twice this week and Lackey was set to face the Padres. The same league that ends at the end of August. The same league that just made me cry. I need a tissue, you karmic bullies! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Twenty-six years after my Lord and Savior, Reggie Jackson, retired from professional baseball to collect cars, full-length fur coats and start a business where you use cocktail franks as cocktail stirrers, I saw a young Mariner by the name of Brad Miller. To this day, when you Google “Brad Miller sleeper,” you still see archival footage of Grey’s massive excitement — that’s not what she said! I was jazzed back in 2013 because Miller had hit 20 HRs, stole 11 bases and over .300 between the majors and minors. Then 2014 and 2015 happened, Miller did nothing, and I retreated into my cubby hole of snack food that I eat out of sight from my Cougar wife. “I’m snacking on kale, baby doll!” “Grey, you sound louder than usual.” I was being amplified due to eating a nacho cheese Bugle. Finally, this year I was sure not to own Miller anywhere. So, of course, he breaks out. Yesterday, Brad Miller went 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 25th homer, 5th homer this week, while hitting .265. On our 30-day Player Rater, Miller is 5th most valuable for hitters. The top 4 –> Blackmon, Hamilton, Braun, Betts. Yeah, pretty good company, like Reggie’s cocktail frank stirrers’ company, The Dog That Stirs The Drink, Inc. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Joe Musgrove shut down the mighty Toronto Blue Jays for the second time, going seven strong innings, allowing just six hits, two runs, a walk and striking out seven for his first major league win. He looked dominant. Like Michael Phelps dominates the pool, or Simone Biles dominates her sport, and all sports, for ever and ever. Simone though. Have you ever seen such dominance? Clearly, ESPN has not. Regardless, Joey Joe Joe now sports a sparkling 1.47 ERA, 0.76 WHIP and 21/2 K/BB ratio though 18.1 innings. Did you miss out on Jameson Taillon, Michael Fulmer, Lucas Giolito or Blake Snell? Well frown no-more, my frowny-faced friend, because Joe Musgrove may just be the best performing of the rookie-nookie bunch, and while everyone is off drafting their fantasy football teams, Musgrove is still available in over half of baseball leagues. Who is this Musgrove character, and what makes him a must-own pitcher, you ask? In 16 games in AA and AAA (85.1 IP), Joe was 7-4 with a 2.74 ERA, 1.04 WHIP and 87/10 K/BB rate. Oh yeah. For those of you playing at home, that will help your fantasy team. He also plays for the Houston Astros, a team in dire need of all the help they can get as they make their playoff push. Grey told you told BUY and Joe Musgrove needs to be added in all leagues as soon as you finish reading this…sandwich! Gotcha! Now make like Katie Ledecky and 100m fly to the waiver wire!
Here’s what else I saw Friday night in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, Carlos Gomez was designated for assignment. Outfielders in the tier of guys in the preseason I told you not to draft: Pence, Kemp, Gomez, Schwarber, Hanley, Corey Dickerson, Ellsbury, Brantley, Adam Jones and Carlos Gonzalez. I’ll take a 7-for-10. You believed still in the preseason about Carlos Gomez, didn’t you? *touches finger to nose but not for a sobriety test* I’m more surprised by the people shocked by Gomez’s fall from grace. *makes crazy, rolly finger motion by ear* Anyone who saw him in his prime knew he was gonna find a steep cliff. Even when he broke out, the underlying stats told you something had to change or he wasn’t going to have continued success. *sticks finger in nose, smiles* Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here come the men in black…and red…and gray…and…teal? Seriously, have you gotten a good look at the Diamondbacks uniforms this year? I’m no fashionista as I’d be fine wearing khakis and a black tee shirt everyday, but these things are pretty silly looking. Being a child of the late 80s/early 90s (as evidenced by the MIB reference) I can’t help but think of a GI Joe villain everytime I see them. It must be the faux snake skin that cries of Cobra. Do yourself a favor and catch a glimpse if you haven’t yet. You’ll have a perfect opportunity tonight if you roster Robbie Ray. Ray’s WHIP and ERA aren’t exactly the things DFS dreams are made of, but those Ks can really get your blood pumping. Just take a peek at Ray’s 10 game log. You’ll note the lowest score there is 13.9 with a handful of mid to upper 20s and a 30.9 mixed in. That means even when he gets shelled, he’s still striking out enough guys to keep his score respectable. That type of consistency is tough to find for Ray’s price tag. While $9,700 is the most expensive Ray has been in his past 10 games, it’s match-up driven, and still a bargain vs the Cespedes-less Mets. So, grab your Noisy Cricket and blast some Mets with Robbie tonight. Here’s some more picks for tonight’s slate:
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 15th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
There are days once in a while when it seems like a good pitcher is nowhere to be found. Days like this may be more frequent as a fan of the Minnesota Twins than as a frequent DraftKings player, but nonetheless, these days do exist. Today is one of those days for DraftKings players. Quite simply, the few decent pitchers on this slate leave a lot to be desired in their matchup, so the best decision is to avoid the top few, pick a few bottom-feeders, and stock up on good bats. One bottom-feeder that I’m guessing eats all the food in the sea, not just at the bottom, is Bartolo Colon, and in a matchup against the wave-the-white-flag Yankees, he is worth a spot in your lineup. Plus, a headline like Counting on King Bart is bound to double the readership for today, since I’m guessing most of your frequent Google searches involve King Bart. You can either admire his ability to throw two seamers that run back to the outside corner, or you can admire his belly. Totally your call; luckily, his appearances will not lose you points on DraftKings (Maybe they should gain points?).
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday August 8th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to ourDFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?