As a Braves fan, my heart sank this week. Did the Braves fan collective actually believe that we’d catch the Nats in the NL East, or really even compete for one of the wild card spots? Probably not. Well, realistic fans didn’t. Oh, you gonna win with R.A. Dickey, Jaime Garcia and Bartolo Colon as the front of your rotation? Haha, #gtfo. The Braves are just in a waiting game for their pitches (sounds a lot like my #Razz30 team) and trying to develop their hitters fast enough to match them up together in the new SunTrust Park.

And yet…an MVP was emerging. Freddie Freeman was creeping up my rankings fast, and it had nothing to do with my hometown allegiance. He was a bonafide star, as The Ringer recently penned, and entering the highlight of his career just at the perfect time to bring the Braves into their next chapter of dominance (hey…a persistently melancholy Atlanta fan can hope…). And then Aaron Loup happened.
The Braves lost their MVP for 8-10 weeks (but bring out the red carpet for Matt Adams!!!!), but let’s pump the breaks on his drastic downfall in value from a fantasy perspective. His next two months may have been fingered (Tom Green, anyone?), but moving past my homerism tears I see a great opportunity to buy. Right now.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Yesterday, Jose Berrios went 7 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 11 Ks, bringing his two-game ERA to 0.59.  Hi ho the Berrios, snitches!  Here’s what I said previously on Jose Berrios (because this is instructive, and not out of laziness), “In Triple-A, Berrios threw 75 2/3 IP and had a 2.62 ERA with a 9.9 K/9 and a 1.7 BB/9.  That’s Sizzlean that you leave on top of your camel’s head as you gallop through the Sahara heat.  You don’t usually see that kind of sample size — that’s what she said! — in Triple-A.  You know why?  Most major league teams promote guys who are as good as Berrios.  Most teams also don’t tie a player’s paycheck to a string then drag said check right in front of the player’s feet, just out of their reach.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Here’s the kicker.  That was from two years ago!  I’ve loved this guy for a long time — that’s not what she said!  His first two games I’d describe as ‘a little difficult’ to pretty easy.  His next start at Baltimore will be the true test.  If you’re in a competitive league, you need to own him now before he goes out and throws a gem in Balty-more (they call it that, right?).  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Jose Bautista is such a douche canoe.  He bat-flipped after a home run that cut the Braves lead to 8-4.  That’s like “Pimp my Ride” with a Hyundai.  That’s like moonwalking at a bar mitzvah with toilet paper on your shoe.  That’s like screaming at your recently ex-girlfriend, “I’ll never be alone, because I will always have my mom!”  He’s hitting .208, and hasn’t looked right since Odor ended him like Drago ended Apollo.  Any hoo!  This has nothing to do with Bautista.  Well, kinda.  Freddie Freeman was hit on the wrist, and then all hell broke out for the better part of the Jays/Braves games.   Freeman looked like he was in serious pain and he’s headed for an MRI and CT scan today.  I don’t own him, but I will join your prayer hexagon if you need me.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We have our first big call-up of the major league season!!!  “Yoo-hoo!”  You want chocolate milk, Cody Bellinger?  “I was drawing attention to myself, since I was called up first.”  Oh, yeah, but you feel like you were always here.  “Oh, well, that’s nice of you to say–”  Shut up, Cody Bellinger!  Bradley Zimmer, now this is a call-up!  “I’ll be up soon!”  Shut up, Amed Rosario!  This is about Bradley Zimmer.  Zimmer is a guy who is a speed-first, power-second, average-third guy.  Actually, on base percentage second in leagues that count that sorta thing.  In Triple-A, he had five homers, nine steals and a 30% strikeout rate.  He looks like Keon Broxton who should be platooned out of the lineup against lefties.  I will call him, Right-on Broxton.  I grabbed him in all leagues where he was available, you don’t want to miss out on the first big call-up.  “Seriously, are you just ignoring me?”  Bellinger, you’re getting on my last nerve!  For 2017, I’d give Zimmer a line around 45/10/40/.235/20.  That could be the best call-up of the year.  “Seriously?!”  Shut it down, CB!  Oh, and I’m aware that Zimmer went 0-for-3 with 3 Ks out of the nine hole, but Bellinger looked lost thru a whole two starts too when he was first called up. “Keep my name out of your mouth!” Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Hopefully everyone had a great Mother’s Day and if you were under a rock, this is your reminder to at least squeeze in a belated wish to all the Mother’s in your life.  Now that that’s out of the way, let’s talk about the aforementioned DFS Mourners Day.  Why am I referring to it as DFS Mourners Day?  Well to put it bluntly, today’s pitching slate is probably the worst set of starting pitchers that I’ve had the displeasure of writing about.  It’s comically bad.   I want to apologize ahead of time for the subpar schedule, but I’m really going to try and stay positive considering our limited options.   Unfortunately, my original lede, Carlos Carrasco is not in the mix tonight because of his early 6:10 PM start.  Note to the DFS and MLB schedulers: can you work together so we don’t run into these types of situations?  I mean, Mondays already suck enough as is.  At least with a decent DFS schedule and my stellar writing, we typically have something to look forward to, am I right?  With tonight’s starting pitching peaking at “questionable” (if that), we’re going to have to really dig into the offensive side of the game tonight.  The upside of having the highest priced pitcher – Brandon McCarthy – maxing out a pedestrian $17,700, meaning we’ll have a bunch of offensive cash to throw around.  Side note, I know he’s facing the Giants in SF tonight, but this is McCarthy’s first start off the DL and yet he’s still the highest priced pitcher?  That is the definition of slim pickins everyone.  It’s only the Best of the Worst for our Inaugural DFS Mourners Day.  Without further ado, I would like to announce the two SP’s Headlining our Mediocre Monday…….  I give you, Jesse Chavez, $15,000 vs the White Sox and Chase Anderson, $13,500 at the Padres.  Now please give me a minute or ten to collect my thoughts.  *Steps away from computer, goes down stairs to watch Derek Jeter’s number retirement ceremony, sits back at computer, reloads the rosters for today, triple checks (just in case there were some makeup games that possibly could have been missed), shakes head in defeat and continues post.*  Yay!  Chavez and Chase are going to dominate tonight!  These two studs…I mean, duds are going to kill it.  They’re both pitching in favorable pitcher parks against less than favorable offenses.  On DFS Mourners Day, we really couldn’t ask for a better pair of pitchers to roster if we tried.  Now that the worst is over, let’s figure out how to spend all this extra money on the offensive side…EDITOR’S NOTE: speaking of extra money, you got $5?  Yeah?  Wanna spend it on a better pitching slate than what we’ve got today?  Well hop into the Razzball Listener’s League tomorrow night and play against your most favorite and least favorite of your Razzball friends and frenemies.  Now back with the progrizzle…

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays. Just remember to sign up through us before jumping into the fray. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Good morning fellow Razzball readers. I’ve decided to throw a curveball and start the intro with an offensive player today. Just in case I have any friends or family members reading this post I have not left her at the Altherr, I just haven’t found the perfect ring yet. Aaron Altherr may slip through the radar since he is matched up against Gio Gonzalez. Gio has been off to a hot start however he is prone to the long ball, especially against righty bats. Altherr’s price tag comes in at a cool $7,200 which allows for some salary relief on a Colorado day. Let’s breakdown his stats, Alther currently has a .514 wOBA against LHP which is 6th in the league and he also has 3 home runs in 24 AB’s. I’m aware the sample size is small, however, this is DFS and we are searching for an edge anywhere we can find one. The wind in DC will not help the RHB as it will be a cross-wind of about 16 MPH.

Note: The 2nd game of both double headers are not included in the FantasyDraft main slate therefore I will be leaving those pitchers out of my write up today.

New to FantasyDraft? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond?  Well, try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your FantasyDraft whistle.  It’s set to run Tuesday, May 9th @ 7:05 ET.  $5 gets you in the door and the contest will run regardless of number of entrants, so make sure you hop in.  Just remember to sign up through us before you do.  It’s how we know you care!  If you still feel helpless and lonely, be sure to read our content and subscribe to the DFSBot for your daily baseball plays.  

Please, blog, may I have some more?

If players are going to break out in a season, they don’t always break out the first week of a season.  I’m reminded of another Phillies player, Dominic Brown.  The year he broke out, it didn’t happen until June of that year.  Of course, in subsequent years, his swing got long like Don Johnson’s in The Harrad Experiment and rather than working his way back in the cages, Brown was preoccupied with avoiding his stalker, Tehol.  This brings us to another potential breakout, Aaron Altherr.  Or as Mystikal calls him, Altherr.  You don’t have to be scurred, he’s doing his thang.  Altherr hit two more homers yesterday (2-for-4, 4 RBIs, hitting .351), and is one of the hottest players in the majors this week.  Of course, this won’t continue, but to what degree will this tail off?  By the way, I want to be a judge at a twerking competition called a Tail Off.  In the minors, he’s shown speed (20-ish) and power (teen-ish).  With his Ks and BABIP, his average will come down a long way (maybe .250), but I see no reason why he can’t be a 17/20/.250 hitter on the year, and definitely a must own.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

We don’t want to lead off every podcast by bashing the New York Mets, but they leave us no choice. Grey Albright and I get right into it with the Matt Harvey fiasco, before moving on to discuss the merits of Luis Severino, Freddie Freeman, Gerrit Cole, Andrew Benintendi, Corey Kluber, and many more. I then talk about MattTruss razzing me over winning last week’s Razzball Only FantasyDraft Contest due to a lack of competition. He’s stepping up to the plate and playing this week too, so make sure to JOIN THIS WEEK’S CONTEST and take both of us down. Finally, we close the show by dreading the ramifications of Arizona’s prospective humidor, and ponder what kind of anti-gravity chamber Elon Musk would come up with if he turned his focus to baseball. It’s the latest edition of the Razzball Baseball Podcast.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

True story, I told Cougs that I had the hots for Maria Conchita Alonso, and she was like, “You know the woman who walks her Yorkie off leash in the neighborhood that Ted always tries to hump?”  I answered in the affirmative.  I hate people who have their dogs off leash.  It’s like people who bring their dog into the supermarket.  I love dogs, but I don’t need Arfer Woofruff licking my bottle of Kombucha.  Any hoo!  As you likely figured, the woman with her Yorkie off leash is Maria Conchita Alonso, and she’s no longer hot because she can’t follow the rules!  So, guys and five girl readers, Yonder Alonso has nine homers.  Quite the change from a guy who used to be Hither Alonso.  Okay, Imma let Fangraphs Database finish about launch angle and exit velocity, but Yonder Alonso is the greatest 1st baseman waiver wire pick up right now.  Yonder Alonso had two homers on Saturday and added his ninth on Sunday, and I’d grab him everywhere.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?


All judging aside, Yankees’ right fielder, Aaron Judge, is loudly (opposite of quietly) making a name for himself. As if his 6’7″, 282 pound frame wasn’t enough to garner attention, how about a league leading twelve home runs in just 99 plate appearances. Having played in all but one game this season, Judge has granted his owners 107 fantasy points in 24 games. During that span he has 26 hits, 12 of which were long balls. That sounds like the name of a porn starring six old men. While Aaron also has 24 strikeouts, he is still sporting a .313 batting average. Personally I have a soft spot for Yankees right fielders as Big Dave Winfield is my favorite player of all time. Well it seems the Yankees have found an even bigger dude to man right field. I think Judge might project to Winfield-like stats, and considering he was a 12-time MLB All-Star, that’s a considerable comparison. He should be owned everywhere. I realize that’s a obvious Captain Obvious statement, but his ADP was greater than 200, so he was likely available for the pickings in most leagues earlier in the season.

Please, blog, may I have some more?