Fantasy Baseball Advice

Jimmy Rollins hits the DL. So there goes one of your top two picks. Yeah, that’s no fun. If you didn’t draft him, you’re smiling pretty wide today. Not because one of your leaguemates is suffering (okay, maybe that’s part of the fun). No, you’re smiling because you’re anticipating what I’m about to tell you. There may not be a better buying opportunity on Rollins the entire season. Buy now! Trade for Rollins. Get him. Swindle, people. Don’t wait a week until he’s about to come back. Don’t trade Hanley Ramirez for him; that’s just dopey. No, buy low on Rollins. Know that the ankle injury may linger for a little while, but it’s only April. If you can trade for Rollins offering some package that would have never worked two weeks ago, then you’re still getting a premiere shortstop who will be hitting in front of Utley and Howard all season. In the beginning of the season I had Rollins’s projections at 130/22/70/35/.290, I’d scale that to 110/18/55/22/.290 — so, I guess the question to you is, how much do you want those numbers? If you drafted Alex Rodriguez, you’re not getting much sleep tonight. Arod injured his right quad in Sunday’s game. Arod has a lot of positives going for him, durability is one. I think he’ll be just fine. Sit tight.

Frank Thomas - Hater Bell pointed out how Karabell was a part-mental patient, part-Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer when he called Frank Thomas a big 2008 sleeper. Yeah, it didn’t make any sense in March and still doesn’t, but whatever he’s ESPN’s top analyst, ya’ll.

Mark Lowe - I hope you’re not even bothering with this mess anymore. Putz should be back this Tuesday. Don’t bother with the fill-ins.

Rafael Soriano - He still can’t throw without pain. I think he might be out a month at least. Plan accordingly.

Chipper Jones - I should’ve had WebMd sponsor today’s post. Of course he’s hurt. The guy gets hurt on a base on balls. You know that though.

Edwin Encarnacion - (His last name’s spelling is bothering me. Second “a” or no second “a.” If anyone can get a message to Edwin and ask him, mucho gracias en advancemiento.) Hit two home runs on Sunday. I have him on a lot of teams. I hope this is the beginnings of a hot streak.

Carlos Ruiz - Or as he will now be known, Chuck Ruiz. As in chuck him to the waiver wire. Go Doumit, Mathis, Napoli, etc. It’s three weeks; Chuck Ruiz is being abandoned on my teams. He’ll be on the waiver wire, we can go back later if he starts to hit.

Adam Dunn - If anyone’s worried he’s going to hit under .200 for the season, I’d trade for him in a second.

Scott Baker - Going into the season, I pointed out to all of youse in 143.2 innings his K/BB was 102/29. So far this year, it’s 20/4. That’s really good.

Jonathan Sanchez - He strikes people out and in his next start he gets the Reds in SF. Yeah, he should be on your team for at least Friday’s start.

Eric Gagne - Fatty-No-Roids got hit. He was used four straight days, so it’s not anymore of a harbinger than the whole injury-prone thing. The Brewers really, really want him to succeed, so know that as Riske sits on your staff.

Chase Utley - My pick for NL MVP is looking good thus far. Not many of my other picks look so great. BTW, if you haven’t entered that contest yet, there’s still time.

Jair Jurrjens - I’m assuming after all of the times I’ve mentioned Jurrjens, you’ve already picked him up. If you haven’t, you should. Even when he lost this year, he looked good.

Milton Bradley - He hit a home run off Wakefield today. Whatever, just yesterday he was sitting with a sore knee.

Paul Konerko - He was actually dropped in one of my ‘pert leagues. I don’t understand that. It’s still very early in the season. I’m going to try and get him off of waivers, but since all the other ‘perts read this, I probably won’t get him. So why say anything? If you have him, bench him, but don’t drop him. It’s still early.

The first week of fantasy baseball is in the books. More than likely you have at least one team that absolutely sucks. Started the year looking like Beth from The Real World, pre- and post-plastic surgery. I know I do. Well, the fantasy baseball season’s not over yet. Miguel Cabrera’s not going to end the season hitting under .150. So let’s cull some stuff so we can mull some stuff, shall we?

Xavier Nady - Honestly, never thought I’d ever mention him on the blog, but he’s starting the season on fire. Could he keep it going? What, am I Ms. Cleo? I don’t know for sure, but history tells us no. This won’t continue. Know what you can’t do? Let him sit on the waiver wire. Don’t drop Carlos Lee for him, but every year some players come out of nowhere. Maybe this is Nady’s year. I know when I grabbed Beltre after he hit four homers in the first week of ‘04, leaguemates laughed at me (I believe Rudy Gamble is included in the list). Yeah, I won that league. You just never know some times. Chad Qualls is swell and all, but you can drop him and take a flier on Nady. He could be this year’s Carlos Pena.

Jason Kendall - He is a .300 hitter. The problem is he has the power of a twelve-year-old girl. Continue to ignore.

Derrek Lee - I pointed out four months ago, “Post-All-Star break in ’07, he hit 16 of his 22 homers. Watch this trend continue into ‘08.”  I don’t think this is going to stop.

Frank Thomas - He could lead the league in homers. I say he falls twenty short. There’s a reason the warranty expires after 100,000 miles.

Yunel Escobar - He’s doing everything right. There’s no reason why he can’t be a young Renteria. (That’s actually not a knock, even if it sounds like one.)

Jayson Nix - Atrocious is being kind for how he’s looked at the plate. Iceberg right ahead!

Manny Ramirez - All them Sons of Sam Horn were slapping fives high saying, “Manny’s back,” after the four RBI March 25th game. Well, he’ll still be okay, but Don’t Believe the SOSH Hype Machine.

Jake Peavy - I told you he was as good as Santana and his division’s hitting is Triple AAAish.

Edinson Volquez and Johnny Cueto - Their weeks won’t always be as good as this one, but they obviously have the stuff. Let’s hope the league doesn’t catch up to them too fast. I’ll probably tell you to trade them in June, but we have time before we have that travail.

Brian Bannister - Not sure he could strikeout Mark Reynolds, but the Royals aren’t a 100 lose team anymore. He’s not going to be exciting, unless 15 wins with a 3.75 ERA excites you. There’s a place for that.

Every Superstar that went 3 for 25 and knocked in 1 run - They’ll get better or, at least, we have to give them a chance to get better. Call off the firing squad for now.

Ben Sheets - Maybe I didn’t say this aloud to all of youse, but the guy can easily win the Cy Young. Health is the issue. His talent is fo realz.

Justin Germano - He pitches half of his games in Petco. If you can’t see there’s NL-only value in that, I can’t help you. In mixed leagues, I’m watching him very closely. Weirder things have happened than a Padres pitcher being good in Petco.

Kason Gabbard - Not interested. I’ll let someone else grab this schmohawk.

Trevor Hoffman - He is old, but he’d have to sexually harass Bud Black’s wife to be removed as the closer.

James Shields - I told you he was a better draft choice than Kazmir. I see no reason why he can’t give you top twenty starter worth.

David Murphy - Doesn’t know how to take a walk and very light hitting. Eh, this was just a good start.

Krispie Young - He has power and speed and he’s currently batting .217. Of course he is. That’s how Krispie do.

Justin Verlander - Um, he’s not starting the year off too well. It’s still early.

Kyle Lohse - He’s 29. Don’t think he suddenly turned the corner into Worthwhile-ville. Twins don’t trade away good pitching prospects; they acquire them.

Joakim Soria - He could save 40 games.

Brandon Lyon - He may not save another game this season.

Mark Lowe - Way to run with the job, dude!

Okay, let’s hear some people you’re giddy about even if you know their pace can’t maintain, but you sure hope it does.

USA Today might no longer appreciate the insights shared by Larry King in his long-running column but we at Razzball were thrilled when he accepted our invitation to share his thoughts on Fantasy Baseball….

Greetings fellow fantasy baseball enthusiasts! Let me fill you in on a little secret - I’ve been dominating my leagues since I spent a 10th round pick on a young Rogers Hornsby. Chase Utley might not hit .400 like Hornsby but he makes up for it in moxie….My favorite three nicknames in baseball are Boof, Pronk, and Melky…I wouldn’t trade Johan Santana for all the Little Leaguers in China….Talking about baseball fantasies, whatever happened to Morgana the Kissing Bandit?….I think some people are scared off of fantasy baseball because of terms like sabermetrics and WHIP…The most underrated Ray in Tampa Bay is my grade school chum and stickballer extraordinaire Ray Abbandando. Sandy Koufax avoided pitching to him like he was food on Yom Kippur…I nearly crapped my pants when I heard Albert Pujols had a high grade tear in his elbow but that doesn’t say much….I had Renteria once – nothing Penicillin and a trade couldn’t fix….If I was a scout in Latin America, I’d just sign every player named Cabrera or Ramirez….Look up ‘consistent’ in Baseball Prospectus and you’ll see a picture of Brad Ausmus….I don’t care what his middle initial is, there is no better nine-stat contributor than Chris Young…..Frank Thomas doesn’t look a day over 30….Say what you will but Miguel Tejada brought some class to the position of Oriole SS….If I could pick a coach for my fantasy team, it would be Clint Hurdle….The reason behind Eric Byrnes’s breakout season: suspenders….The best draft strategy is to go to the bathroom beforehand….I’ll say this about steroids. If baseball had the same-sized problem with asteroids, there would be a lot more domed stadiums…Best sleeper pick of all time was Nap Lajoie in 1901…

ESPN’s top “analyst,” Eric Karabell, lit a flame nugget under me when he decided to tout Frank Thomas as a big 2008 sleeper. That’s right, the soon-to-be 40 year-old, Toronto DH who limps around the bases. Seems to me that Karabell has been sleeping for the last ten years. You need to be an ESPN Outsider to read the entire Frank Thomas is a “big 2008 sleeper” hooey, but I’ll recycle the relevant rubbish here:

The Big Hurt isn’t young, has a limited ceiling and certainly isn’t the same player who put up Hall of Fame stats for more than a decade, but he’s hardly a bad option at this point. In fact, in one of the January drafts I had, Thomas was my 22nd-round pick, the second to last player I chose. I kept waiting and waiting and nobody wanted the guy. I was stacked on offense, and intended to use my utility spot for steals, but how could I turn down a shot at Thomas?

Utility spot filled with a diminishing-skills 40-year-old? This is mind numbing. Was Dave Roberts already off the board? How about Mike Schmidt? Greg Luzinski?

Karabaloney doesn’t say who was still on the board this late in the draft, but you absolutely have to take an upside guy (LaRoche, Kotchman, Votto, etc.) or round out your pitching with a quality middleman who might get you saves (Rodney, Broxton, Betancourt, etc.). If you take Frank Thomas, you’re just not trying hard enough or paying attention. The Big Limp is not hitting as many fly balls and his average is (updated) around .260 since 2001. Sure, he takes walks, but he should be lifted every time he gets on the basepaths. Watching him run is as painful as watching Claire Danes act. At age forty, if his career continues to decline (which there’s no reason to think it won’t), he’s lucky to go 22-80-.260 with a paltry 60 runs. As Rich Dad might say, that’s a liability not an asset. You’re welcome.