We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2012 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2012 Twins Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Aaron Gleeman from his eponymous Minnesota Twins Blog.
1) I have Scott Baker down for 2012 projections of 11-7/3.65/1.19/160. How’s that sound to you?
Sounds about right. Baker’s performance is never really a question, as he’s basically been a solid second or third starter with great K/BB ratios for the past five seasons, so it’s just a matter of him staying healthy. Or at least relatively healthy. He’s only topped 180 innings once and is coming off an elbow injury. He should provide good value in most drafts.
2) Well, the Tsuyoshi Nishioka experiment turned out about as well Jeff Goldblum’s teleporting pods. Any chance for some redemption in 2012 for Nishioka?
I doubt it. He’ll have to fight just to make the Opening Day roster as a utility man behind middle infield starters Jamey Carroll and Alexi Casilla. In addition to an inept bat Nishioka also showed that he isn’t as fast or as good a base-stealer as the reports from Japan suggested, so even if he were to somehow work his way into the lineup regularly there just isn’t much fantasy upside.
3) Everyone’s favorite game (or maybe just mine)…. The Over/Under Game! Justin Morneau — 100 games? 25 homers? 85 RBIs?
I’d take the under. Morneau’s concussion status has gotten most of the attention, but he’s also coming back from neck, knee, foot, and wrist surgeries. He hasn’t been healthy and effective since mid-2010, so even if you feel like betting on him staying in the lineup that’s an awful lot of time off to pick up right where he was.
4) Francisco Liriano seemed profoundly lucky last year… Cause I know at least a thousand or so fantasy baseballers that would’ve liked to kill him. Can Liriano regain his pre-surgery form this year?
His pre-surgery form? Definitely not. He simply doesn’t have that type of velocity or raw stuff since having elbow surgery. I think he’s absolutely capable of being closer to the 2010 version than the 2011 version, but he has to make significant strides with his command. I’d certainly take Liriano if he fell to me late in a draft, but there are better high-upside risks to take.
5) What is the best slogan for the 2012 Minnesota Twins? A) A Healthy Mauer Has Doubles Power! B) Justin Morneau is Concussin’ No Mo’ C) The Plouffe Is In the Pudding D) Target Field – Too Big For Our Hitters, Too Small For Our Pitchers
I’m hoping it’s A, because a healthy, doubles-hitting Mauer is one of the best all-around players in baseball and his getting back on track is without question the biggest key for the Twins long term.
This is almost the end of the 2012 fantasy baseball rankings. With these top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a few names that I’m really gunning for on my teams… My deeper teams. On last year’s top 80, there were a few guys that shot up the rankings (Hellickson, Anibal, Garza and Zimmermann), so I imagine a lot of you won’t need most of the names on this list, but there will be some. Now humor me. There’s tiers and projections mentioned for everyone. Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
61. Brandon McCarthy – This tier started in the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Peavy. I called this tier, “Holy crap, there were a lot of starters I didn’t like in the top 60 starters post. Let’s see some names I like. Please.” The first two guys in this tier could’ve been called, “Young pitchers who don’t strike out many that you should start at home.” McCarthy’s ERA at home was 2.65 and 1.11 WHIP. As said two sentences ago– Two Sentences Ago, “Why don’t you come up with your own points?” McCarthy doesn’t strike out a whole lot of guys. 2012 Projections: 8-11/3.50/1.17/140
62. Tim Stauffer – Last year Stauffer had a home ERA of 2.57 and a 1.13 WHIP. I’ll give this to you nice and simple like Minnie Pearl would’ve wanted it. Stauffer is a Hodgepadre. Start him at home and sit him on the road. He did have 94 1/3 IP innings at home last year, so you’re talking about a top tier reliever’s ratio stats if you hold firm when to start him. 2012 Projections: 8-10/3.80/1.24/135
63. Ted Lilly – I could’ve made a sub-tier within this tier calling these last three guys, “Pitchers that I refuse to learn from no matter how many times they burn me.” I really believe last year we saw the beginning of the end of Lilly. Fading Lilly, if you like pithy comments that sound like sushi restaurants. There’s some arguments to be made that that (stutterer!) is incorrect. He did come on in the 2nd half (2.94 ERA, 8+ K/9). If you believe his 1st half (4.79 ERA) was just an aberration on the that-ain’t-the-real-thing tip, then I could see grabbing Lilly late. For his price, it’s probably worth it. 2012 Projections: 11-8/3.85/1.18/160
64. Scott Baker – For those of you that can’t wait to read the end of this post just to comment that Lilly and Baker’s projections look better than Stauffer and McCarthy so why do I have them below? Don’t. Lilly is on the downswing of his career and Baker can’t stay healthy. Take an upside flyer with Stauffer or McCarthy before these guys. Those of you who didn’t read this blurb and commented about the order of the rankings, you’re not reading this either. Too bad, I would’ve had you say hello to your mother for me. Hey now! 2012 Projections: 11-7/3.65/1.19/160
65. Jake Peavy – If he can stay healthy, he could be valuable. Unfortunately, my man can’t stay healthy. Grey, you have no faith in medicine, The White Stripes. If I were the type to say completely unsubstantiated claims with no factual evidence, I’d say Peavy can’t stay healthy because he used to do steroids. I would never say that though. I’m way above that! Hopefully, there’s no my-momma-didn’t-name-me-that scandal with the reveal that he’s really Jack Peavy and actually 78 years old, but that would jive with all of his health problems. For those worried about the integrity of our great game, I do think the name scandals will soon end with all players selling their naming rights to companies. Now pitching for the New York Yankees… Saran Wrap! 2012 Projections: 10-8/3.75/1.21/130
66. Ryan Vogelsong – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Jackson. I call this tier, “You may get a number three fantasy starter or you may get someone similar to Nadir Bupkus.” Last year didn’t really make sense. Not in general, unless you’re trying to figure why you like baseball yet weren’t that crazy about Moneyball. I think you had to not like baseball to love Moneyball. But I was referring to last year not making sense for Vogelsong. He’s like 40 years old (34) and he just put up his best season, even though his peripherals (pitch speed, where the pitches were, etc.) didn’t get better from the last time he was in the States. Maybe he can repeat it. More likely, you’re going to get a good spot starter when he faces the Padres, Dodgers and some other weaker offenses. 2012 Projections: 10-9/3.75/1.26/140
67. Jonathon Niese – Last year, his ERA was 4.40 and now the Mets are moving in the fences and constructing a giant Madoff head to blow hot air out to right field. So why is Niese in a positive tier? Thanks, clunky expository question! He had a K-rate of 7.89 last year and showed in the minors that is about right and could be even a little higher. Also, he had a slightly off BABIP and poor LOB%, so he wasn’t really a near-four and half ERA pitcher, but probably three-quarters of a run better. All these good vibes about Niese make me want to do my Grind workout. 2012 Projections: 9-10/3.75/1.32/160
68. Bud Norris – You can’t predict wins. You shouldn’t even try. It is totally pointless. But since I had a “Totally Pointless” college degree this is right up my alley. You are not going to get wins with Norris. You will get some walks and nice Ks. I kinda want Norris on every team. Might even draft him on my AL-Only keeper team for when the Astros realign. 2012 Projections: 7-9/3.80/1.32/190
69. Mike Leake – His ground ball percentage was solid, walks were dropped by over one per game and his strikeouts increased (though not to a rate that is drool-inducing). If Leake can avoid dribblers through the vas deferns, he should have some success. 2012 Projections: 13-8/3.75/1.22/135
70. Ryan Dempster – I’m tentatively liking Dempster this year. His 4.80 ERA last year was H to the ideous, but he did have a 3.70 xFIP and a 8.50 K/9. I’ve seen worse stats. Some of the guys above him, for instance, they have worse stats. I don’t know the intricacies of his contract and I don’t think you should draft someone in March with the hope they’re traded, but wouldn’t shock me to see Dempster on a pennant contender before 2012 is through. Maybe he’ll go to the Padres, if the Yankees change their name to the Padres. 2012 Projections: 12-8/3.90/1.33/190
71. Edwin Jackson – Signed yesterday with the Nats, naturally. Looks like all the Nats needed to become a contender was to get rid of Bowden. Great addition for the Nats’ rotation. For fantasy, it’s a’ight. Earlier in his career, he was better in the AL than the NL, but now that he’s matured I think it was an immaturity thing. Funny how that works. Best case scenario is a 3.50 ERA and kinda icky WHIP. Worst case scenario is a 4 and a half ERA and icky WHIP. Speaking of which, I was thinking about what’s the best best case scenario of recent times and I have to think it’s The Jersey Shore. I can’t help watch the opening and think about how when they made that title sequence they all were probably glad to just be employed by a t-shirt shop, MTV almost axed the show before it started and none of them really had much chance for a future unless you count success by the number of acquired STDs. Now they’re all millionaires and it’s laughable that they would work at a t-shirt shop. Of course, the worst worst case scenario would have to be leaving the show a’la Angelina and not reaping any of its benefits. What a stunod. 2012 Projections: 11-10/3.80/1.35/160
72. Hiroki Kuroda – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Collmenter. I call this tier, “Solid, but unspectacular.” See, I will draft solid with a chance for spectacular. I’ll even take a chance on very risky with a chance for spectacular. But “Solid, but unspectacular” gets drafted around the time I want to take flyers, so I don’t bother with this tier. When you’re this late in a draft, it makes no sense to draft a guy like Kuroda, Danks, Buehrle, etc. Like any investment, they’re the last one in and first one out. It’s a shame that Kuroda was picked up by the Yankees. When he was on the Dodgers, he was a solid back end of your fantasy rotation starter that no one ever reached for. For whatever reason, everyone looked the other way even though his career ERA is under 3.50, WHIP’s under 1.20, walks are low and his K/9 last year was over 7. Oh, well. I wouldn’t draft him with your fantasy team in 2012. AL East and The Stadium They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built is two negatives that don’t equal a positive. 2012 Projections: 12-9/3.90/1.24/150
73. John Danks – I’ll admit I’m probably too down on Danks. He’s the very definition of solid, but unspectacular. A big issue with solid but unspectacular that I didn’t mention above. If for some reason you get less than solid, you get Danks’s 2011: 4.33 ERA, 135 Ks and 1.34 WHIP. That’s not even solid. At 27 years old, he should revert back to solid, but unspectacular. 2012 Projections: 9-10/3.75/1.28/150
74. Mark Buehrle – Gets wins, mid-3 ERA, lots of innings… What’s not to like? Oh, yeah, he strikes out about as much as Mystery in a college bar on “Ladies drink for free” night. 2012 Projections: 14-10/3.70/1.28/100
75. Ivan Nova – With a 3.70 ERA, he won 16 games last year in 28 games started. Basically, Blyleven would’ve been a first ballot Hall of Famer on the Yankees. If you’re chasing wins, I could see going with Nova, but chasing wins is a losing proposition. (<–Turn of a phrase point!) 2012 Projections: 14-8/4.00/1.33/110
76. Gavin Floyd – I’ve tied Floyd to Danks in my rankings for as long as I can remember, which sounds like a nerdy version of the Goodfellas voiceover. Floyd is a tad under Danks because of his age. There’s a better chance of Danks exceeding his projections than Floyd, but they’re both solid, but… Well, you know. 2012 Projections: 9-11/4.00/1.26/155
77. R.A. Dickey – I don’t like Dickey, not that there’s anything right with that. He’s totally blown away my projections the last two years, but I can’t trust a knuckleballer. I don’t like when I’m relying on a pitcher that has no idea where the ball is going. I’m sure he’s used to the hate. Can’t be easy going through puberty with a name like Dickey and being a knuckleballer. 2012 Projections: 10-9/3.75/1.27/130
78. Josh Collmenter – You thought I didn’t like Dickey? Try my dislike of Collmenter on for size. Too snug? That’s cause you have both of your arms in the same sleeve. Collmenter had a 5+ K-rate and a 4.18 xFIP. No Ks there is a than, but no thans. 2012 Projections: 8-10/4.25/1.24/110
79. Francisco Liriano – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until here. I call this tier, “Screw you, Liriano.” He got very lucky last year. No, not with his FIP or xFIP or BABIP or men left on base or with runs scored for. He got lucky I didn’t kill him. 2012 Projections: 11-11/4.30/1.35/155
80. Brett Cecil – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Volquez. I call this tier, “You’ll probably drop most of these guys by mid-April and may not even have the nads to start them once on your team, but you may as well take a flyer.” (The projections in this tier are optimistic.) I saw one ‘pert didn’t rank Cecil in his top 100 starters. I thought that was odd. He’s only 26 years old. Then I looked at mock draft results and he wasn’t anywhere. I saw Joel Pineiro. I saw Jason Hammel. I even saw Javier Vazquez. He retired. We’re all that done with a 26-year-old pitcher who was being drafted last year in the top 200? I don’t want to point any fingers, but you — yeah, you. Don’t look behind you. — were excited about drafting Cecil last year. Nothing in his stats say bounce back, but between him or Pineiro or a guy that retired, I’m going with Cecil. 2012 Projections: 12-9/4.00/1.30/145
After the top 80 starters, there’s a lot of names, but here’s some that stand out:
Homer Bailey - With a career ERA of 4.89, I’ve warded off Homer to use two of the better father names in the history of television. Now, I find myself seeing a scenario where I could draft him very late. His walk rate last year was more than one walk off his previous year. His K-rate fell a bit, but it’s still over 7. His xFIP was 3.77 and his team should win some games. Bailey is long overdue for a breakout. I’m saying sleeper and grab him late. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it until he defecates all over my ERA. 2012 Projections: 12-9/3.70/1.28/130
Chris Sale – If I had to, and I probably do, write a sleeper post about Sale or Bard, it’s a no-brainer. It’s Sale all the way. Sale’s only real question mark is how many innings will the Pale Hose throw him. (BTW, if I was writing newspaper headlines in 1919, I would’ve wrote “Paint the White Hose Black.” If there’s any time travelers reading this, take it, it’s yours.) I think Sale sees about 125 innings. 2012 Projections: 8-8/3.50/1.24/130
Daniel Bard – When the Sawx first announced Bard would start, here’s what I said, “The Sawx are toying with the idea that Daniel Bard should be in the rotation rather than as the closer. To incorrectly quote Gordon Gekko, “That’s a toy with fleas.” As a starter in the minor leagues, his ERA was 7.08 and walked 78 hitters in 75 innings. Granted, this was early on in his minor league career, but I don’t see the Sawx taking a pitcher that is actually succeeding as a reliever and stretching him out to fail. Then again, their rotation isn’t exactly five deep. Hopefully Daniel doesn’t stay *pinkie to mouth* Bard from the bullpen. Or should I say bullpun.” And that’s me quoting me! I still think the Red Sox make a last minute move to keep Bard in the bullpen and acquire another starter. 2012 Projections: 9-7/3.70/1.22/160
Brad Peacock – I already went over my Brad Peacock fantasy. It’s January Grey’s favorite post. 2012 Projections: 9-8/3.60/1.30/170
Edinson Volquez – If he gets 200 innings, he will strikeout 200 hitters. Look at the rest of this post and try to find another guy K’ing 200. So why isn’t he ranked higher? Well, there’s this little problem with him walking people like it’s his job. It’s not his job. If that’s getting lost in the translation, someone should tell him that is not his job. Yo camino no trabajar! 2012 Projections: 8-12/3.75/1.33/200
Ricky Nolasco – This is the last tier. This tier is called, “I didn’t forget these guys. I’m just not drafting them.” Nolasco hasn’t had an ERA under 4.50 in 3 years, but if you’re playing in a league that counts K/BB rates or guys that underperform, then by all means go with Nolasco. 2012 Projections: 12-9/4.25/1.29/150
Wade Davis – He had strikeout numbers in the minors, and I think those return from wherever they went, but I’m not drafting him on the assumption they will. Could be a nice during-season-pickup if he gets his shizz together. 2012 Projections: 10-10/4.15/1.35/115
Carlos Zambrano – Ozzie will either bond with Zambrano and have him produce his best year since the mid-naughts or their personalities together will become so combustible that Little Havana will break from the union and form the 51st state with Ozzie becoming Supreme Leader of Little Havana and having Zambrano executed. My money’s on the latter. 2012 Projections: 11-10/4.10/1.35/130
Johan Santana – The Mets are hoping to get 25 starts out of Johan. The Mets are saying he’s a question mark for Opening Day. The Mets pronounce players ready to return usually six months before they’re back on the field and they’re saying bad things already about Johan. Instead of drafting Johan, if you’re into torturing yourself, try meeting up with random people from Craigslist’s Missed Connections. Here’s one, “You didn’t tan, your freckles merged. Now I want our bodies to. I saw you at the Jiffy Lube on Tuesday. I can’t wait another 3 months or 3,000 miles.” 2012 Projections: 7-5/3.75/1.22/80 (in 120 innings)
Alex Gordon and Jeff Francoeur were shut down for the year because the peasant Royals want to give Lorenzo Cain and Jarrod Dyson a full three days to show their worth. Gordon’s line this year was 101/23/87/.303/17. Terrific! Wonderful! Tonderific! But if you peak under the hood, things aren’t as they seem. His BABIP is .358, easily a career high in the majors. His walk rate and line drive rate dropped from last year, and his ground ball rate nudged up. His homers and speed look about right, but if luck goes against him those two categories could get affected. He’s probably much closer to a .280 hitter with 17-20 homers and 12-15 steals. With just a tad bad luck, he becomes a fifteen homer guy with 10 steals and a .265 average. That’s far from spectacular. That’s spectaculess. I just made that up; you like it? You use it. As for Frenchy, his line was 77/20/87/.285/22. Oh, well, that looks pretty normal– Wait a second, 22 steals?! Where the eff in the effhole did those come from? His previous high was 8. He always failed to take pitches like he needed some ADHD medicine, but now he’s running the bases like it too. “Sorry, first base coach, whatever your name is, can’t stay at 1st, gotta run, peace!” That’s Frenchy, and he can’t even stop for a period at the end of sentences; he only has time for commas. He’s always been a notorious bad ball hitter. This year Frenchy swung at 41% of balls outside the strike zone, which is actually high for him, and his percentage of balls swung at inside the strike zone was actually down. Only thing that changed this year, he made more contact with pitches outside of the strike zone. If that stops along with his whacked out of his mind stealing, he may use 2012 to revert to his old ways, so it’ll be hard to give Frenchy my arrondissement. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the roundup, I just wanted to announce a very good friend of mine is putting on a one man show in Los Angeles. If you go see the play, you may just run into yours truly and my significant other — my mustache. If you can’t make it to Los Angeles or if you’re in Los Angeles but afraid to leave your house, you can buy his book. Anyway II, the roundup:
Hunter Pence – 3-for-5 with his 21st homer. Hey, that homer can drink legally! After Pence sat out for three games with a sore knee, it was good to see him return, unless you had him on your bench like I did. Sonavabench!
Jacoby Ellsbury – Hit his 29th, 30th and 31st home runs yesterday. For the Sox’s sake, it’s too bad he can’t pitch.
Francisco Liriano – 1/3 IP, 5 ER in middle relief. How’d he go from one of the best arms in the game to mop up duty? When Dr. James Andrews tells people 9 out of 10 pitchers agree with the good doctor, I think I know which one doesn’t agree. “I feel like Bruno Mars’s forehead, big and empty!” That’s Liriano talking through a translator.
Wilson Ramos – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in his last three starts. I specify his last three starts, because the Nats have been sitting him every other game. It’s really important to get at-bats for Pudge, whose nickname wasn’t always ironic, and Jesus Flores? Rhetorical!
Stephen Strasburg – Nats announced he would have an innings limit next year. The GM said that innings limit has been semi-calculated. The equation he used was pretty straightforward: A Reinjured Strasburg = No Job.
Wade Davis – 8 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks. Nice end to what’s been a pretty terrible season. His K-rate was atrocious and it wasn’t like he was getting unlucky with his 4.45 ERA. Usually the third year a starter is in the majors is when their breakthrough comes, which next year will be for Davis, but I don’t have high hopes here.
Jason Bay – Didn’t play Sunday and was pulled from Saturday’s game because of illness. Illness sounds like it should be managing the Mets.
Nolan Reimold – 2-for-4 with his fourth homer in the last ten games; also he’s hitting .300 over the last week. He’s either hitting really well recently, or it’s an illusion to get people to draft him again next year.
Robert Andino – 1-for-2 with a steal. After 136 games, he has 13 steals with 4 coming in the last week. I don’t get that. Did he just suddenly realize he’s fast? Was he auditing a summer class from the University of Phoenix on base stealing and he just passed? If you have speed, then run.
Brian Matusz – 5 IP, 6 ER. On the year, he gave up 59 earned runs in… Guess how many innings. Wait for it… Here it comes… Wait, where did I put it?… How did it end up in my glove compartment? Anyway, in 49 2/3 innings. That gives him the worst single-season ERA in MLB history (10.69). On the bright side, for the record he beat Halladay’s 10.64 ERA of 2000. Then again, Halladay was throwing with his left hand that season.
Grady Sizemore – Shut down for the year. Backdate that to the moment his flash went off in front of a mirror. Use any definition of the word flash you’d like.
Asdrubal Cabrera – Left Saturday’s game with an elbow contusion and didn’t play Sunday. On a side note, I think Asdrubal should follow Ichiro’s lead and have just Asdrubal on his jersey. Imagine parents taking their kids to a game and covering their eyes when they see Asdrubal.
Shelley Duncan – 2-for-3 with his 7th homer in September. I feel sorry for all those that had to high-five him during his torrid month. He’s always so intense. Here’s him at a post-game press conference.
Felix Hernandez – 3 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 13 baserunners, 2 Ks and was pulled from the game after being hit by a comebacker. Over the winter, I want a 500 word essay from him about what he did this summer that made me no longer love him.
Miguel Cabrera – Hit a homer in his third straight game, then left due to lightheadedness. After the game, he said he prefers Amstel Light-headedness.
Matt Holliday – 2-for-7 over the weekend as he returned. La Russa, wearing a jacket made from veggie burgers, said as long as Holliday’s healthy, he’s going to be out there. Now it’s a judgment call whether you should play him. I wouldn’t necessarily go back to him if I had options that were hitting.
Jose Bautista – After crashing into a wall, he stayed in the game for five innings only to then leave with a knee injury. I think he should be fine. My mom was right, I could’ve been a doctor. “But, mom, there’s a whole lot more zeroes in blogging. Though that’s not zeroes as in money.”
Brett Cecil - 3 1/3 IP, 4 ER and ends the year with a 4.73 ERA and 1.33 WHIP. Somehow, I’ll find a way to make him seem attractive yet again next year; you just wait and see!
Carlos Gonzalez – As reported here first on Friday after inferring shizz from other sources, CarGo is done for the year. As I said in the preseason, “He’s a bumps-and-bruises, miss-a-few-days-here-and-there type guy. Those day-to-day things can turn into more.” And that’s me quoting me!
Kevin Kouzmanoff – 3-for-6, 5 RBIs and 2 homers. Don’t mess with The ‘Noff.
Josh Willingham – 1-for-4 with his 28th homer. I’d put $5 on The Other White Meat getting to 30 homers, if I were a betting man. Okay, if I were a betting man on things I actually know and not just random rolls of a die.
Torii Hunter – 1-for-3 with a steal yesterday, and a homer on Friday and Saturday. Not the same homer, that would be weird.
Vernon Wells – Slam & legs yesterday and 4 homers in the last 8 games. You looking at his 25 homers and 9 steals on the year, “Hey, Vernon Wells had a good year? Who knew?” You looking at his average, “He hit .220? Crimey a river, Justin Timberlake.”
Adrian Beltre – 3-for-4 with his 30th homer and 101st RBI while hitting .293. I don’t get it, is he gonna try to renegotiate his contract?
Ian Kinsler – 3-for-4, 3 runs and a homer and two steals. Totally just padding his stats to get to 30/30 and I love it. This is why all players should have to own themselves in an H2H league with 50% of their contract in their fantasy league pot. I wonder if the union will go for it.
Emilio Bonifacio – 2-for-4 with his 2nd homer in as many games, and he’s 7 for his last 13. Can you tell I don’t want the season to end? This is like the longest roundup ever. Bonifacio is hot, moving on…
Ricky Nolasco – 2 IP, 6 ER. Ends the season with a 4.67 ERA. Somehow, he’ll be hyped again next year by everyone but me. “Hey, ESPN analcyst here, and I want you to look at Nolasco’s strikeout to walk ratio. He’s awesome!”
Clayton Kershaw – 7 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks and his 21st win to go along with his 2.28 ERA, 0.98 WHIP and 248 Ks. Even with an injured knee, that had Ethier dancing.
Justin Upton – Left the game after being hit in the head by a Lincecum fastball. Tests are showing no signs of a concussion. Too bad. I was hoping he’d return as Jason Bourne and bring down Justin Morneau for trying to kill my fantasy teams.
Jeremy Hellickson threw a complete game yesterday giving up one earned run. Great, tremendous, gremendous! Hey, Rays, take out an ad in Variety for Hellickson for Rookie of the Year. The ad can flaunt a quote from Rays beat writer Roger Mooney saying, “Hellickson is the best rookie pitcher I’ve ever seen!” Rays blogger Jason Collette says, “He’s better than Melissa Leo!” A Tampa Bay area Hooters waitress, “And he’s a good tipper!” Last year, Hellickson threw a 155 2/3 innings. Usual bump from one year to the next for young pitchers is 30 innings. Back in the preseason, Buddy Holly Joe Maddon said Hellickson would be capped at 180 innings. That’s probably give or take five innings. Depending on whether or not Verducci shows up at Hellickson’s final start with disapproving eyes. Right now, Hellickson is sitting at 164 1/3 innings. Probably looking at three more starts for Hellickson. Make sure you keep that in mind in H2H leagues. Oh, and have a good Labor Day. I’ll leave you with this quote, “You’re laborers. You should be laboring. That’s what you get for not having an education.” Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Francisco Liriano – Unlikely to pitch again this year. If only this news came out in March.
Joe Mauer – 1-for-2 with his 2nd homer. Put a note on the Comatose Twins Fan to ‘Do Not Resuscitate.’
Dustin Ackley – 2-for-4 with his 6th homer. He’s also hitting .400 over the week. The Mariners have good reason to be excited, but that’s mostly because The Big FraGu is out for the year. So much easier than diverting one’s eyes.
Jose Bautista – First to reach 40 homers. I’ll say my miss on Bautista this year was the ultimate Mr. Bungle move.
Derek Jeter – 2-for-5 with his fifth homer of the year. Or the sixth lowest homer total of all players with a full season of at-bats. He’s tied with Maicer Izturis, but Maicer has almost a hundred less ABs. Jeter reminds me of something. You’ll never sleep with as many women as you’d like to? No, random italicized voice. He reminds how terrible name recognition can be for fantasy baseball.
Alex Rodriguez – Returned over the weekend and hit a homer yesterday. That’s his 15th homer this year, or how many times he’s openly begged Jeter for his approval.
Ian Kinsler – 3-for-5 with his 25th homer. Was also his fourth homer in the past 4 games and has 23 steals on the year with only 2 caught stealings. Sure, the average (.245) is a bit blehtastic, but that could easily be at .270 as he continues to prove the Ranger hitters credo, “If healthy, good.” So it’s not the snappiest credo, but it’s accurate.
Nelson Cruz – Says he can get back prior to the estimated three weeks. Cool, that means he can get another injury in before the end of the year. Take odds, Vegas. Take odds.
Mike Napoli – 2-for-3 with his 23rd homer as he hits .293. Imagine he didn’t go through stretches where his manager temporarily benches him because Napoli’s hitting on their daughter.
Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his third steal in the three games since he returned. Mouth on the left side of the screen says, SAG. Mouth on the right side of the screen says, NOF. They come together for SAGNOF.
Randall Delgado – 5 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Took over Jar-Jar’s spot in the rotation and meesa tinks he’ll stay in the rotation for the better part of the rotation. He’s still a rookie that could give a solid six inning start, a four inning/four earned run turd or something in the middle like today. In other words, he’s a’ight for NL-Only leagues. In other other words, last week I was in my other other Benz.
Brennan Boesch – Done for the year with thumb surgery. Boesch & Thumb contact rends.
Johan Santana – News has changed once again for Johan. First, he’s coming back in June. Then he’s coming back in July. Wait, he’ll be back, definitely, in August. Nope, he’s not returning. Yes, he’ll be back next week. Or the final week of the season. Or not at all. Whatever the Mets say, he’s not worth owning anyway.
Mike Stanton – Left the game with a hamstring injury. He’s day-to-day. If everyone wants to sign a card and have me deliver it to him, I’m hiding in the bushes next to his garage. I mean, get well soon, Mike. I mean… No, that’s what I meant. *nervous laughter*
Hanley Ramirez – Has been confirmed that he will have shoulder surgery. With some hard work and a dedication to being the best, he’ll be ready to go for the start of next season. So, he won’t be ready. I’m going to gauge things further this offseason, but I’m almost certainly not going anywhere near him next year. I try to stay away from players coming off big surgeries, unless I feel like the injury wasn’t something that could linger. You know, like Morneau this year. Now I’m done with all players coming off a major injury/surgery. Show me one player who overperformed coming off a major injury and I’ll show you 25 that didn’t.
Jon Jay – Homered yesterday and 6 for his last 11. He also expressed his pride for the way the original thirteen colonies bounced back from Hurricane Irene.
Jason Motte – On Saturday, he recorded the save, then on Sunday Salas gave up a run and lost the game. If you’re a save vulture circling around for some tasty meat to feed on, I’d peck on Motte.
Torii Hunter – Says he might retire after the 2012 season. This is neither funny nor interesting (which is implying other things I write are, but anyway…), Hunter will almost certainly have a job at a major network as an analyst.
Carlos Carrasco – Might be headed for TJ surgery, which involves a copious amount of tequila and two donkeys. No, that’s Tijuana surgery. My bad.
Shelley Duncan – 2-for-4, 5 RBIs, 2 homers and 6 people hospitalized after he high-fived his teammates.
Juan Francisco – 4-for-5 yesterday and homered on Friday. He’s now started three of four games since he was recalled. Not mixed league worthy yet, but I got my pet marmoset watching him closely. I only have so much time.
Sean Marshall – Notched his fourth save as Marmol sat on the bench and thought about what he had done on Saturday. Ya know, give up a grand slam to Derrek Lee. Marmol’s still probably the closer, if only to frustrate Cubs fans and his fantasy owners.
Carlos Beltran – 8 for his last 11 as he carries the Giants to a solid 2nd place finish.
Brian Wilson – Threw off the mound on Sunday, but there’s no timetable for his return. The Giants could opt to shut down Wilson if they fall out of the race, but he seems like the type that would want to return even if the Giants’ playoff chances are remote. Though I might have a facial hair basis.
Anthony Rizzo – 0-for-3 as he was recalled, with recall being the optimal word considering how he’s played thus far. I’d be shocked if the Padres don’t find a way to get Jesus Guzman’s bat in the lineup on a consistent basis since he’s batting .337. Even if the Padres just Mad Lib first base on the lineup card, Blanks will probably be filled in the most with Rizzo’s promotion.
Dexter Fowler – 3-for-4, now hitting near .350 over the last week with two homers and two steals. Right now, Dexter is murdering the ball.
Shaun Marcum – 7 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners (1 Hit), 8 Ks vs. the Astros. Crazy the lineup of Jordan Schafer, Paredes, Martinez, Bogus..etc. didn’t give him a harder time. The team Ed Wade’s Toupee put together would have a hard time beating the Little League Champions two out of three games.
Neil Walker – 1-for-4 with his 12th homer. Member when he was good? In like April. Ah, yeah, good times.
Alex Presley – 2-for-5 with a steal. Now 10 for his last 18 with a homer and two steals. He’s been so hot Pirate cameramen have been asked to only film him from the waist up.
Anibal Sanchez – 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 5 Ks. Due to an umpire call, the game is under review. A fan interfered with a Pence double, which was overturned with instant replay. Charlie Manuel then argued that there’s no such cotton-pickin’ thing as instant replay and the moon is made of green cheese. We’ll await the MLB’s Executive Vice President of Baseball Operations Joe Torre’s decision. I’d say it’s pretty likely the call is overturned and the game resumes with Torre’s final verdict being, “Hey, whatever gets more middle relievers in the game.”
You know what they call three 4-baggers in New York? An A-Rod post-game party. It’s a good thing Clorox is headquartered in Oakland because Billy Beane is going to want to rinse his eyes with bleach after this game. Russell Martin went 5-for-5, 3 runs, 6 RBIs and 2 homers (one grand slam), Grandy hit a grannie going 2-for-4, 4 runs, 5 RBIs and Cano added in one of his own with 5 RBIs. A video of this game should be shown next time the issue of a salary cap comes up at the Winter Meetings. Russell Martin has 17 homers on the year. Even if all of them were Pesci Pole assisted, it would still be a solid year. Then throw in 8 steals and decent runs and RBIs, and it’s no wonder Alyssa Milano fields his fly balls. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jim Thome – Luckily, he got to enjoy his 600th home run on the Twins. What an event! Was like Geraldo Rivera finding a second bottle of whiskey. Thome continues his ride on the casino bus to the Indians. How appropriate. To continue the gambling comparison, right now the Indians are like the guy at the ATM taking out money he doesn’t have to double down on the Pass Line at a cold craps table. Hey, Indians, it was a good run, but you’re throwing good money after bad. Go grab a $9.99 steak dinner and bark obscenities at tourists. You’re not making the playoffs anymore. Thome’s not changing that. As for fantasy, Thome gives the occasional homer, not much else. Um, okay.
Francisco Liriano – Headed to the Disgraceful List for the 2nd time this year. To keep this PG-13, thanks for ruining my fantasy teams this year, you fargin’ icehole. I will forever refrain-cisco.
Jemile Weeks – 3-for-5, 2 steals. He’s struggled a bit recently with his bat, but he’s still capable of the steals so if you need that I’d hold tight.
Scott Sizemore – 4-for-4 on Wednesday and a homer yesterday. I’d say he’ll be in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell, but he won’t be.
Rich Harden – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 6 Ks. Ks are there but the up and down starts make me want to avoid him. Speaking of up and down, I told Rudy he should give a listen to the Kanye/Jay-Z song, “Otis,” and he asked why they wrote a song about the inventor of the elevator.
Wade Miley – 6 IP, 0 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks. This comes after a 4 IP, 5 ER start against the Braves. The potential for Ks is there, so is the potential to get roofied.
Brian McCann – 2-for-4, 4 RBIs and 2 homers. After me ranking him in the preseason as the number one catcher for three years, it looks like he’s finally made good. Sometimes I’m just too prescient (Word of the Day!) for my own good.
Michael Bourn – 4-for-5, 2 runs and 1 RBI. Maybe I’m greedy, but when a guy like Bourn gets four hits and no steals, I can’t helped feel a wee bit gypped. My apologies to all of our gypsy readers.
Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 2 ER, 6 baserunners, 8 Ks. 3.31 ERA, 1.15 WHIP and 128 Ks in 114 1/3 IP. I told everyone to grab him in every league, to toot my own horn (though if I could actually toot my own horn, I wouldn’t have time for fantasy baseball).
Mark Reynolds – 1-for-5, 3 RBIs with his 2nd homer in as many games. Now has 29 homers on the year with a .220 average. If Mini Donkey could just get his average up to the .250 range, he’d be a thing of beauty. But I guess that’s always been the Reynolds rap.
Ryan Adams – 4 for his last 7. The Orioles new 2B is just like the rock musician, Ryan Adams. He has a little bit of pop, strikes out a lot and likes having sex with Mandy Moore. The only difference is that the musician Ryan Adams actually gets to have sex with Mandy Moore.
Adrian Gonzalez – Now has, like, 17 homers in the last three days as him and Ellsbury lock horns for MVP votes. That should help fill 42 minutes of a Sportscenter.
Carlos Quentin – Out until next week with shoulder pain that has him feeling less than manly. You know what makes me feel manly? Rubbing banana pudding on my chest and running through the zoo.
Brett Cecil – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER. Morrow and him are all over the map from start to start. Gem, coal, coal, gem… Then you get the occasional 6 IP, 5 ER with 9 Ks which, I suppose, is the blood diamond.
Alexi Ogando – 4 IP, 6 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. I wouldn’t be surprised if his arm is tired. BTW, somehow a tired arm is worse than an arm that falls asleep. Weird!
Paul Goldschmidt – 2-for-3 with his 5th homer in 21 games. Prior to last night, he went 0-for-14 with 6 Ks. Has 27 Ks in 21 games. I think Goldschmidt is gonna fit in perfectly with the Diamondhacks.
Doug Fister – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks. Now one earned run in his last fourteen innings and only one terrible start in his last ten. Fister’s only drawback is he doesn’t punch out many hitters, ironically.
Austin Jackson – 1-for-3 with a slam & legs and his 133th strikeout to go with a .306 OBP. Somewhere Rickey Henderson is mumbling to himself in 3rd person.
Brad Penny – It came out yesterday that he criticized Sean Rodriguez for running hard on a routine fly ball. Penny also screams at players for being clean-shaven and having better metabolisms.
