Anibal Sanchez was amazing last night, pitching 8 innings and giving up just 5 five hits with a whopping 17 strikeouts against one of the league’s best offenses. Sanchez has never looked dirtier. Filthy even. I was hoping Manager Jim Leyland would send Sanchez out for the ninth to try for 20 Ks, but Anibal was pulled after 121 pitches. Leyland said he needed Sanchez in the dugout to bum a cigarette. No, Sanchez doesn’t usually smoke but he was on fire last night and always has a spare menthol for Skip. That kind of know-how and pedigree was why I owned Anibal everywhere last year, so of course I don’t own him anywhere this year. I must give it up to our fearless leader, Grey, for coming up with that headline. I almost went with “Bell of the Anibal” or “A Boy Named Anibal.” And those are just terrible. But things are really clicking for the Boy Named Anibal. I once knew a boy named Sue. He got in bar fight with Commodus and Reese Witherspoon, and Reese played the “Don’t-you-know-who-I-am!?” card and everyone got arrested. Well, if you didn’t know Anibal Sanchez before last night you better know him now. 17 STRIKEOUTS! Great Anibals of fire! Sanchez’s previous high was 14 Ks, but he now holds the Tigers record, which has got to peeve Justin Verlander a bit. Relax JV, you had Kate Upton, let Sanchez have this. His new home in Detroit has been good to him. No one wants to win more than 14 games for Jeffrey Loria anyway, right?

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Going into yesterday’s game, Gio Gonzalez had a 5.85 ERA and in three of four starts he only threw five innings. I saw the fear in your eyes. Nervousness was percolating just below the surface. You were like Mr. Coffee when he was about to lose his virginity. You were expecting some grinds and instead you were just overheating. Steaming so hard you needed a cup to catch the water beneath you. (How long you think I could keep the visual of Mr. Coffee about to lose his virginity going? Three more lines? Do I hear four?) Finally, the heat was too much, the water dripping too fast and everything began to steam. Quickly, you grabbed your little creamer. She usually likes to put the cream in herself, but you’re just gonna splash it all over the place to avoid a mess on your pants. And that’s how coffee became Mr. Coffee. So, today Gio threw an eight-inning, one-hitter with 7 Ks; his only blemish a Votto opposite-field blast. Things looked awry, making dyslexics wary. Luckily, it’s still freakin’ April and you shouldn’t worry so much. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

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Each week I’ll be looking at some favorable match-ups to help you grab a few extra steals for your fantasy team. Whether you are in a weekly or daily league, looking at weak defensive catchers and strong/aggressive base running teams may help you make decisions as to which players you should start or sit in your hunt for an edge in the stolen base category. Since the 2013 season is only a week old, I’ll use some data from 2012 to get started and give you an idea of what we will be looking for. Just realize that these are only two dimensions that can affect stolen base totals.

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Spaceman here, and I’ll be keeping tabs on spring training battles to watch by position, in each division. I’ll hopefully convey a common sense approach that assists with your draft prep and roster depth. If not, I’ll head back to my farm in Vermont to sprinkle grass on my pancakes.

Blue Jays

2B Starter: Toronto brought Emilio Bonifacio over in Jeffrey “Expo Killer” Loria’s Miami fire sale, right after signing Maicer Izturis to a 3-year deal. So who’s playing 2B up in Canada? They haven’t committed to either, but G.M. Alex Anthopoulos appears to see Boni in a Utility role. Possibly taking over for Colby Rasmus in CF, should he struggle early on. Probable outcome: With the inside track to 2B, Izturis takes it, giving the Jays options in the OF should Melky Cabrera not perform off the juice. Izturis won’t provide much fantasy value outside of the deepest of leagues or as a late round MI flyer due to the improved offense around him. Whereas Boni should have an impact in leagues of any type, with his perennial base stealing and a nice position eligibility.

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Yesterday’s short schedule day reminded me of an old Chinese proverb.  Since a lot of you don’t speak Chinese, I’ll translate it for you.  If you can grab a hitter or two on a short schedule day, you should.  In bed.  I’d take a season of 0-for-4′s from my one day hitter pickups just for that outside chance I get one homer.  There is nothing more rewarding in fantasy, except maybe the one day pitcher grabs that nets you solid ratios and a Win.  Those are kinda sweet too.  So I decided to look at some guys that are probably owned in less than 50% of most leagues who could get you some value in fantasy baseball.  Because it’s just under two months into the season, a lot of names listed are fluky.  For instance, Luke Scott gets hot for 7 games and they’re all at home then suddenly he’s the best home slugger.  Most times picking up a hitter for one day really is about the hitter vs.

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The Disgraceful List claimed two more yesterday, Josh Beckett and Grady Sizemore.  Neither is a big surprise.  Closest Grady Sizemore came to taking off this year was in his amateur Playgirl shoot.  Even when he hit a home run, the rain washed it away.  The Indians are talking about knee surgery for Grady.  Turns out Tom Sizemore isn’t the only Sizemore with a joint problem.  I’d DL Sizemore until more news surfaces, but, if recent history is any indication, new news (stutter much?) will be bad news.  As for Josh Beckett, I’m more optimistic.  He can miss a few weeks, put this back injury behind him (literally!) and return.  Will he be effective on his return?  What, I’m Nostradumbass?  I don’t know, but it’s possible he has a decent half season.  I wouldn’t trade for him, but I would pick him up off waivers and stash him.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before I jump into the roundup, quick bit of business.  No one likes to have to ask for shizz, but this voting thing at the Refresh Challenge is for a good cause.  To up the stakes, we’re donating a $100 gift card to Wal-Mart.  All you have to do is vote and comment “Razzball” over at the voting site.  The comment names will be chosen at random on Monday and the winner will be announced here.  That link again is http://pep.si/abEtbm — Wow, I feel like George Clooney.  Anyway II, here’s the roundup:

Trevor Hoffman – Probably should be headed to the Disgraceful List but in the meantime the Brewers say he won’t pitch for a few days while he works on his mechanics.  Carlos Villanueva and Todd Coffey are the pickups, in that order.  Or the reverse order if you’re dyslexic.

Please, blog, may I have some more?