Some rejected titles were, “It’s A Not-So-Wonderful Elbow, Andrew Bailey,” “Old Man Potter Gets The Last Laugh” and “Won’t You Come Home, Andrew Bailey? Won’t You Come Home?” but when presented with a Party of Five reference, I turn to mush. If you can wash Po5 out of your hair, you’re a better man than me. Andrew Bailey is heading off to see Dr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jake Peavy was walking off the field before the trainers even got to him. On a scale of bad signs, that’s around a 9. That’s on a scale of 1 to 8. The good news is it’s not his arm. It’s his dorsi muscle. Peavy’s a dolphin? Put down your noisemakers, it’s not that good of news. To paraphrase Ludacris, “Peavy back bad, Peavy not good… Peavy back don’t do stuff that yo’ back do… (Repeat chorus 17 times.)” Daniel Hudson, rocking a 3.47 ERA in a hitters’ park in the minors, could get the call if Peavy needs a DL stint. You know that guy you see when you search for Tim Hudson on the waiver wire? That’s him! He has more than a K/IP in the minors, though his control is iffy at times. He’s worth a pick up in AL-Only or deep mixed keeper leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aaron Harang – Headed to the DL with back spasms. Dusty said, “If he dies, he dies,” while wrapped in a Reds flag.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Andre Ethier had a June line of 9/3/12/.195… In 2008. June gloom? Perhaps. In 2009, he had a May as atrocious. So he can come out of this funk. In the last three years, Ethier has hit 30 points better in the 2nd half.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chase Utley was placed on the 15-day DL with a sprained thumb and he might need surgery. This injury opens up a big gaping hole in his owners’ hearts that can only be filled with junk food and hardcore drugs. Utley may not have been playing his weight in pomade, but at least you had him out there. At night when you crawled into your Michelob-scented bedsheets, your head hit the pillow knowing that if nothing else Utley was healthy. Looks like you’re going to have to dust off the “Sounds of the Ocean” CD you used to help you sleep when your wife left you. Phillies will turn to Wilson Valdez, Juan Catastrophe and Brian Bocock, whose surname is bad enough without me altering it. Hopefully your options are better. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Placido Polanco – Crapolanco also heads off to the DL. Too bad because he was leading David Wright in All-Star votes for 3rd base. Hold on, whaaaaa??? Oh. Wait, what? If his vote tally goes up while he’s on the DL, I’m gonna suggest players can’t vote for themselves.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Nats will probably bring Stephen Strasburg into Washington in the bubble car with the albino John Lannan charged with throwing rose petals at his feet. This was recently overheard in the Nats bathroom sometime in the near future, “Um, John, do you think you can stop with the petals?” “Stephen, it’s my duty.” “Yeah, well, this is my doodie and I’m going to be about 20 minutes.” “Fair enough, sire!” I went over Strasburg for fantasy already. Been there, drunkenly wrote that. I’m not changing my projections from that post. A three and a half ERA seems optimistic enough. Could he do a 2.75 ERA? Sure, but I’m not counting on that. I’m already giving him what I think we can get from Greinke. So a 3.50 ERA… Let’s see, who else could bring such luster to our fantasy El Camino. In 303 and a third 2nd half innings over the last three years, Bronson Arroyo has a 3.06 ERA. Would anyone in their right mind trade Strasburg for Arroyo? Not right now. The hype is way too strong with the young Austrian. Today, I think you can sell Strasburg for someone’s kidney. I’m not sure what you’d do with three kidneys. Maybe a bookend. Think about how you felt owning Matusz, Smoak, Ike Davis, etc.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hanley Ramirez said he wasn’t lollygagging after the ball. I see his point. You can’t chase after the ball. You kick the ball to the curb, neg it then hope the ball comes back to you. That’s Pickup Artist Rules 101. Hanley was benched yesterday and now there’s talk he may get traded. Fredi said, “We don’t want the game played like that in front of our fans.” Insert your “There are no Marlin fans” joke here. I don’t think he’s traded away. In fact, I think all this shizz blows over in a day or so. What are the Marlins going to do? Trade away their best player? As someone in the audience of Jerry Springer might say, “Pay first month on that puh-lease.” Fredi Gonzalez will be out of job before Hanley gets traded. Hanley being Manny and the Marlins will learn to deal with it. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Cameron Maybin – Hit his 2nd homer of the year. That’s so Maybin!Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all know Chone Figgins loves stealing 2nd base, but he might be starting early this year. After a brisk calisthenic session, Don Wakamatsu decided to try Figgy at 2nd base with Jose Lopez shifting to 3rd base. The Mariners haven’t had this amount of speed at 2nd base since they faced David Eckstein and Ichiro moved up 50 steps. Suddenly, Figgins’s Sparky Anklebiter power and top tier speed looks much better. It would catapult him to the top 7 of the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010. I’d rank him right after Cano and in a promising tier. Going for steals at 2nd base wouldn’t hurt nearly as much at 3rd base. But he’s not there yet and, frankly, I don’t think the move to 2nd is going to happen, barring an injury to Jose Lopez. When you have players comfortable at their position, you don’t mess with it for s’s and g’s. But since we’re going down this road, it helps Jose Lopez’s value too. Not as much though.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We continue our 2010 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2010 fantasy baseball. 2nd base is an odd duck. Shortstops have speed. You can find speed in the outfield. There’s even some legitimate speed at 3rd base. All of these 2nd basemen must have grown up watching Bret Boone and Jeff Kent because you’re more likely to find power at 2nd base than speed.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We already went over the top 20 catchers for 2009 and the top 20 1st first basemen for 2009. Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen. The 2nd basemen pool is shallow (not as kiddie-sized as the shortstops, but we’ll get to them in the next post). Because of this shallowivity (Made Up Word Of The Day!), the 2nd basemen rankings can be split up into two tiers. The guys you want and the tomato-tomahto guys. The Guys You Want’s names kinda give them away. The Tomato-Tomahto Guys are a whole group of 2nd basemen that are so close to each other in rank, it really didn’t matter which one of them you owned. At one time or another during the season, you probably dropped one of the Tomato-Tomahtos for a different Tomato-Tomahto. Everyone probably has one Tomato-Tomahto guy that they hated during the season. I have a few. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2009 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Welcome to the year end Razzball Awards! Unlike the ESPYs, you won’t have to wear a tux or listen to Derek Jeter try to be funny. Speaking of Viagra — Vlad’s got one good leg and he’s not wearing a shoe on it.Please, blog, may I have some more?