Dallas McPherson reminds a lot of myself, if I hit 42 home runs in my last year of Triple-A, or if I played in the minors or any sort of organized sport. I was a city checkers champion in 6th grade.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We here at Razzball.com know that picking a fantasy baseball team name is never easy. You want a funny fantasy baseball team name for 2009, but how crude do you go? Do you insult everyone or just women and children? Or maybe you come up a fantasy team name that is some type of (un)imaginative pun like Say It Ain’t Sosa or Put It In The Pujols.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I know; I’m a bad person for putting Josh Hamilton in the 2009 fantasy baseball overrated category. Sorry. I also don’t like soda. It is what it is. Don’t hate the player, hate the cola. Last year, Josh Hamilton entered a 12 step program for fantasy relevance.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In our series of 2009 fantasy sleepers, I take a detour down my own personal Heartbreak Hill. Anyone who has read this site for a few knows I had a huge crush on Alex Gordon going into the 2008 season, so it’s with great regret I must confess, “Gordon, I can’t quit you.” That’s right, I’m pegging Gordon as a fantasy sleeper for the 2009 season.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, the Final Jeopardy answer is 107/40/118/.302/8. Do do do do do do do do… doot do do do do do do… What is Bill James predicting Chris Davis will do in 2009? That’s correct! “What is Bill James smoking?” would have also been accepted.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Colby Rasmus goes by the nickname Razz or Razzle-Dazzle, which should make him a favorite here at Razzball, but there’s something pricky about him that I don’t like. Might be the name, Colby. It sounds like a total douche name, like a character’s name in a Bret Easton Ellis novel.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward, besides having the surname of a 1930s matinee idol, has the mitts of a Yeti and the sturdies (<– that’s legs) of Frank Thomas. His man gams are 117% oak. You thought Jay Bruce could fight crime? Heyward just saved your life and you didn’t even know you were in danger.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Rafael Furcal returns to the Braves, which can’t be a good thing for 2009 fantasy baseball owners. I mean, it can, but it probably won’t be. This move will have people slightly too excited about Furcal. Then you throw in his great April in 2008 — hitting .357 with 5 home runs and 8 steals in only 36 games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
While regurgigating Jobacum, I mentioned Gamel is a lot like Ryan Braun. All hit, no field. In Single-A ball in 2007, Gamel made 53 errors in 128 games. In that post, I said that he plays 3rd like Jenny McCarthy at a celebrity All-Star game, but I think I was overestimating his glove work.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I’m not sure if Jeff Kent will retire. I’m sure his wife doesn’t want him to retire because he seems like he’d be a miserable prick around the house. Why doesn’t this remote work?! She sighs, “You have to turn on the TV first.” Maybe he lands as a DH somewhere in the AL.Please, blog, may I have some more?