Fantasy Baseball Advice

Headley’s an example.  You don’t necessarily have to give or get Headley for this example to work, but a comment I got today made me think of him.  Someone was offered the trade of Miggy Cabrera and Chase Headley for Haren and Kershaw.  Whether you think this trade is fair or not is besides the point, Headley is the point.  He’s the sore thumb in this trade.  To break this down into a real world example, if you were trading someone for a blueberry pie and you had to give an apple pie and one other component.  To sweeten the pot of pie, would you A) Throw in whipped cream? B) Throw in ice cream? C) Throw in dog feces?  A and B can open up negotiations.  I want ice cream, but I don’t want vanilla.  I like your whipped cream, but I’m more of a Cool Whip guy.  You don’t have Cool Whip?  Okay, maybe you can throw in a fork so I don’t have to use my fingers.  Dialogue has now started and a trade may or may not work out.

When I get offered a trade with dog feces, I usually reject the trade and reply, “No thanks.”  Negotiations will not start on my end.  If someone wants to offer me dog feces, I won’t go out of my way to figure out how a trade could possibly work for our two teams.  I don’t counteroffer.  Then my favorite thing (and by that I mean least favorite thing) is when someone will offer dog feces, I’ll reject it and then they email me back something like, “You see anything that could work in a trade for our teams?”  So let me get this straight, you don’t have the decency to offer me a good trade or have the time to look at my team for a counteroffer so it’s up to me to figure out a trade for us when you were the one who initiated the trade?  Yeah, I’m pretty good about getting back to everyone who offers me a trade, but that email could sit in my inbox for days.  And when I get around to it, I usually send a clipped, “Don’t see anything.”

If you’re offering a trade, it’s better to offer the real meat of the trade (to switch up our food analogies), rather than tack on some excrement that no one wants.  For instance, if you want Haren and Kershaw for Miggy, offer that trade.  Don’t push your unwanted Headley onto the trade to sweeten it because it’s doing the opposite.  It’s saying to me, “I’m giving you Headley because I think you’re stupid.  So stupid in fact, you may spell it stoopid.”  Without Headley, the trade is at least respecting the other person’s intelligence and can kick off negotiations.

The All-Star Break is over and we’re officially trucking towards your fantasy baseball trade deadline. So what should we do? Look back, of course. Through June 10th, Chase Utley led the major leagues with 21 HRs. Berkman was second with 19. Uggla had 18. Josh Hamilton, blowing the cover off the ball and not the blow off the mirror, had 70 RBIs. Adrian Gonzalez was 2nd with 57 RBIs, then the UtBerkmanley hybrid tied with 56.  For runs, Berkman held off the competish at 61, then Kinsler and Hanley at 55 and 54 respectively. Ellsbury sped out in front with 28 steals. Then Ichiro had 26 and JuanBourn tied for 24. (BTW, JuanBourn is officially the best name for a Hispanic family’s first son.) On the pitching side of things, Edinson Volquez led with Ks at 96, then Sabathia at 87 and Beckettcum at 83. (Harang at 82!) Webb had 11 wins and Cliff Lee had 10. Finally, K-Rod blew away the rest of the closers with 26 saves. Then Sherrill 21 and the BrianWoodbon triumvirate (Word of the Day) each had 18.

Awesome, Grey, you picked a random day of the season and compiled stats. What did everyone do on August 3rd of 1983? Actually, it’s not a random day. June 10th is approximately 67 games into the season. From today until the end of the 2008 season, guess how many games are left? The blind man picked up the hammer and saw. Now to say hitters and pitchers will do the same in the last 67 games as they did in the first 67 is obviously false. Some players are/were injured; some players always hit/pitch better in the 1st/2nd half and some players will sit after their club clinches/is eliminated. But I don’t think this makes my argument false as much as it reinforces the dire circumstances we are facing as fantasy baseball team owners. It’s now or never, people!

It’s time to start making some hard choices. Albert Pujols sure does dress like a world-class hitter, but if you need steals and saves, he’s not helping you. Though Lidge and Brian Roberts might. The inverse is also true, if you have Lidge, Marte, Broxton and Gregg, trade two of them for a part that could help. Most pitchers will see about 14 to 16 starts from now until the end. Most closers will be lucky to tag 17 saves onto their totals. The best hitters will be lucky to get 40/15/45 and 15 steals.  Trade deadlines are going to be right around the corner. Once trade deadlines pass, you’ll be left with nothing, but free agent pickups. In deep leagues, this can spell doom. (Dee oh oh em, by the way.) When your trade deadline passes, how can you make up ground in saves if you don’t have the closers? Only so many new closers will comes into the league in September. Where are you getting steals from in September? Home runs? You need to make moves now. If no one will give the parts you need, you may have to overpay. It’s not a crime to trade Pujols for Krispie, Marte and Dye if it gets you the championship. It’s crime to get a ten in average and a one in Ks, if it costs you your league. Leave nothing on the table. I want everyone who is reading this to win their league. You can’t win your league because you held onto Lidge when he could’ve got you a necessary piece and the title. It’s now or never, people! Make it count.