Ryan Raburn isn’t just some old fashioned name that sounds like a matinee idol from the 40′s. Grandpa, tell me again about the time you were working as an extra in Hollywood and you stole Angela Lansbury away from Ryan Raburn. Well, it all started late one night at Musso & Frank’s. We were all pickled pretty good on Cuba Libres, remember this was before the House Committee on Un-American Activities banned them… So, Raburn hit 2 homers yesterday and is now batting over .400 in the last week and 8 homers in the month of August. He’s starting every day since the Tigers were hit by injuries and the power is for real. In his last full year of ABs in the minors, he hit 20 homers. Last year, 16 homers in 113 games. The average could bottom out, but with 2nd base eligibility there’s no reason not to take a flier on him. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Rick Porcello – 7 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. Has now given up only 4 hits in his last 14 innings. Okay, I don’t fully trust him, his Ks are just blahtastic. Neverthehoo! You can’t deny the type of groove he’s in right now and he gets the Royals next time out. Please, blog, may I have some more?
I just want to put it out there, I love Eric Young Jr. I have a plan in place to have Prince Fielder have a long discussion Eric Young Jr. about nogoodnik fathers and step in as EY Jr.’s surrogate. We will vacation in Orlando and try faux exotic foods at Epcot, like Greek and Spanish. When Eric Young Jr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hello, new readers. No, this isn’t High Times dot com, but don’t worry there’s Doritos at the end of this post. Hey, don’t skip ahead. You have to read the post first. Yes, the computer is talking to you. Aw, I’m just messing with you. The computer’s not talking to you. You’re just reading, silly! So, Bud Norris didn’t come out of nowhere to be my new Razzpick du jour. Yesterday, he went six innings, giving up one run and K’d 4. In the not-too-decent past, I mentioned liking his upside. For our friends in Latin America, the caveat is his wildness. The love comes from the fact he has more Ks than innings. There’s only ten other starters with more than 110 innings in the major leagues that can claim that. That’s one starter for every finger. Unless Antonio Alfonseca is reading this. The wildness is still there, but he hasn’t walked more than 3 batters in a game since April. I’d absolutely grab Norris for the last month if I needed Ks (who doesn’t?) and some upside (of course you do). Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Johnson – 4-for-6, 1 RBI in a 16th inning game that saw Roy Oswalt play left field and Tim Kurkjian’s voice cracking at the sheer craziness of the game. Can you believe this game, fellas?! Please, blog, may I have some more?
Matt Capps got traded and kept his job, Rauch didn’t get traded and lost his job, Octavio Dotel got traded and lost his job, Brian Wilson didn’t get traded but is moping because his shoes are no longer shiny. It’s the bullpens, ya’ll. Just yesterday Lindstrom was out with a sore back that he hurt when he tried to get the A’s replacement closer in his fantasy league. That’s a true story in opposite world. On the top of the rankings, Wagner made himself a $12 Salad. On the bottom of the rankings, I wanted to move Chris Perez into the Donkeycorns, but he needs more time in the role first. He’ll be a Donkeycorn by September. Mark my words! But don’t mark them on your computer, that doesn’t come off. Anyway, here’s all of the closers for your fantasy baseball team, as of right now:
You know that restaurant your girlfriend/wife/what-have-you likes to go to that charges, like, $12 for a salad? Please, blog, may I have some more?
For the first time in over two years, Jonathan Papelbon is no longer a $12 Salad. I know, call your Congressman. Pass Prop 12. There’s been signs for a long time that he wasn’t the same closer from 2007. I didn’t want to move him because he seemed like the epitome of a $12 Salad. Overpriced lettuce? Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brain Freezes lived up to their names last month. With Jenks, Hoffman, Gregg, Dotel, Lidge, Funklin Morales, Qualls, Perez, Wood and Simon all putting dry ice on your fantasy baseball team and then shattering it. No one ever said owning Brain Freezes would be easy, but does it have to be this hard? Can’t I just Ron Popeil my Jenkses and Hoffmen and let them be? No, of course, I can’t. It would be too easy. I come from the school that if a guy has a chance to earn even one save, I’ll own them. Sometimes this yields 6 saves from Alfredo Simon, other times this yields 12 earned runs in a third of an inning from Will Ohman. Please, blog, may I have some more?
As I was thinking about Rudy going off and getting married, I needed a good cry, so I burned myself a sad song CD. Rather than try and find 15 songs that all had the same sentiment, I just put Why Can’t I? Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is a moderate Buy. I wanted to find a player that would make you excited to buy, but I also wanted to cover Grady Sizemore. I owed it to you, loyal Razzball reader. So here we are. Grady has NOT (Hey, it’s Caps Night!) been terribly unlucky. I know BABIP makes you say WTF, but I need to go there super quick. His BABIP shows a guy that isn’t that far off from his career mark. His line drive rate is around its norm and his fly ball rate is down. His K-rate is up and his walk rate is down. So to break this down into your Leisure Suit Larry terms, I think he’s pressing (that’s what the walks and Ks are telling me), his average should go up (his line drives), which should help his steals (guessing). There’s got to be some homers in his bat. Guy just doesn’t lose his shizz at 27. Actually, they’re supposed to gain it. I wouldn’t pay more than sixty cents on the dollar, but I would buy Grady. The Indians are despised, according to the Wall Street Journal (that’s real PC there, WSJ), but that doesn’t mean Grady needs to be. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into the post, I wanted to tell everyone I’m in Austin this weekend to attend Rudy’s wedding. I won’t be near a computer for the weekend, so please help each other. You can do it! Now make me proud. Anyway II, here’s the post…
Brandon Wood – I will now attempt to avoid any Wood puns. As I opine… Dah! If you’re hard up… Gah! I give up, grab Wood. Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the first act, some creepy kid runs into frame, mumbling, “I see blown saves.” I know Ryan Madson is a Cuddle Boy, but don’t drop him yet. Sorry to get Biblical on you, but hast thou forgotten the wrath Brad Lidge hast broust on ye past teams? Please. Give Lidge a week before abandoning Madson. Lidge is like a “1000 Dollar Car” as sung by the Bottle Rockets. Google the lyrics if you don’t know the song but in summation, “If a $1000 car was truly worth a damn, then why would anybody ever spend ten grand?” Let shizz shake out first before you act rash, talcum. There’s time to drop Madson. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Evan Meek – Recorded the 3 up, 3 down save yesterday as Dotel was out sleeping with your sister. Don’t worry, Dotel’s days of ruining your ERA and WHIP aren’t over yet. Meek was only used because Dotel had pitched two innings the day before (beautifully, I might add). To recap, handcuffs across the Brewers, Pirates and Rangers: Frank-Frank, Meek, Villanueva and the guy at Subway who gives you the skeeves, in that order. Hoffman, Dotel and Feliz, in that order, should all still be owned. Please, blog, may I have some more?