We’re gonna try and turn over a new, positive leaf here at Razzball. No longer are we going to sing the blues when one of our favorites doesn’t make the team. We’re gonna emoticon all over your face for someone else. That other person just happens to be the guy replacing Mike Minor in the rotation. Three ladies and gentlemen, I am proud to introduce to you, Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You’ll have to excuse me; I’m a bit hoarse after a weekend in Vegas, so don’t ask me to yell. All caps are just too much right now. I’m not sure where I lost my voice. May have been during our spirited game of Pai Gow Poker. What was I doing playing $15 hands of a game where I literally just turned my cards over so the dealer could tell me how to play them? It’s the free drinks, ya’ll! About eighty dollars worth a free drinks to be exact. Oh, and Ubaldo was pitching a no-hitter and Pai Gow Poker had the best seats in the house. I think even the three 70-year-old Asian ladies at the table with us were into it by the ninth. Hair’s to you, Ubaldo! Either way, I’m spent so I’ll have to keep my enthusiasm on simmer for now about Ike Davis. Let’s start this mofo with what Stephen said in the Mets’ Minor League Review, “After hitting zero home runs in 215 at-bats in 2008, doubters began questioning his “raw power,” but failed to consider an oblique injury. Splitting time between High-A and Double-A, Davis flat-out raked. Not necessarily the most polished hitter, he still has some work to do with his swing and strikeout rate, but he should continue to hit for power as he keeps a decent rate of balls in the air (42.8 FB%).” And that’s me quoting Stephen! In nine games in Triple-A Buffalo, Davis has two homers as he hits a robust .357. Not to be confused with the girls in Vegas, who are mo’bust. The Mets are calling up Davis in the next week. Do I take a flier on him in 12 team or deeper mixed leagues? Certainly. Do I expect the 2nd coming of Hayzeus Cristo? Nope. But if he hits in first few games, his value will go sky high and you’ll be able to trade him for more than he’s worth. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Mike Jacobs – Designated for assignment. That assignment is to “stop sucking.”
Derek Jeter – Will return on Tuesday after missing yesterday’s game with a head cold. Good to see he’s quickly on the mend because a head cold sidelined Greinke for a year.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stealing is like borrowing until it becomes permanent. I don’t steal; it’s immoral, reprehensible and I’m really out of shape so I’d probably get caught. The fact of the matter is that these guys aren’t for everyone. They shouldn’t be, but they will give you the all coveted stat: steals. These players should only be considered if you are in need of steals after your draft, 12 teams or deeper. In H2H leagues, these players are especially important if you’re trying beat an opponent and only need a few quick “pick me up” steals.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The other drafternoon I took part in my Fantasy Razzball draft where the object is to field the worst team possible. This team isn’t just bad. Nah, I outdid even myself this time. On a scale of one to ten, they’re a negative seven. I did the math! Somehow I managed to get a team where not one hitter projects for more than twelve home runs. If someone in the Royals brass gets wind of my drafting skills, I may get a job! If you think I’m being facetious (which was recently outlawed in Madagascar), shame on you. And shame on this team! My co-conspirators in this were:Please, blog, may I have some more?
In roto, you can can’t gain ground in many categories in September, unless you’re already close. The two categories you can conceivably gain ground in is in steals and saves — SAGNOF! If you are up in power, or at least far enough that you can’t be caught by the team right behind you, then I’d stack up on guys that could get you some steals. As for saves, you probably don’t have as many options on waivers. But there’s a some guys that might get a save or two in the final few weeks, and, well, every save counts. Anyway, here’s some guys that can provide steals and saves this week in fantasy baseball:
Drew Stubbs – He has 5 homers and 3 steals in the majors in two weeks. He had 3 homers and 46 steals in 5 months in Triple-A. Maybe he sleeps with a 1996 Brady Anderson card under his pillow.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Hudson is on track to make a rehab start. If all goes well, and that if is ginormous, then he can return to the Braves for their failed chase for the Wild Card. Recovering from Tommy John is usually the same no matter what, shorty. Pitchers usually return to three-quarters of their former selves or they can become seven-fifths of their former selves, which is to say they can be better. Though they’re not usually better when they are first reactivated. They usually return slightly less than three-quarters. If you’re half as confused by those fractions as I am writing them, let me break it down to you, nice and simple like Minnie Pearl. Tim Hudson’s worth stashing on your DL for matchups, but the upside is merely usable in 12 team leagues. Don’t expect miracles. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Scott Baker – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER. He shows you some solid starts, then he shits your house.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Corey Hart is out for up to a month with an appendectomy. My college roommate had an appendectomy and he returned from the hospital in 24 hours and back to drinking Olde E forties with me by Friday, which is what we called Tuesday. Bill Hall will be recalled (Score one for NL pitchers) and Frank Catalanotto will see time in right field (score one for the Catalanottos). Good thing the Brewers traded for Gerut. Who? Hey, you sound like Ken Macha! I expect the Hart will go on in September. If he gives you his biggest month of the season then, it’ll be about 4 homers and 4 steals for the month. Whoopie! If Hart’s still on your team, now’s as good a time as any to cut him, unless you have DL room. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Ian Kinsler – Just hit the DL. Usually he doesn’t turn into a pumpkin for another twenty games. Kinsler was in Friday’s Buy/Sell. Betcha can guess which side of the slash he fell on.Please, blog, may I have some more?
George Sherrill was traded from the Orioles to the Dodgers. Sherrill will backup Broxton. If you play in a league with Holds, by all means. If you don’t, you can lose him. Okay, that’s that. Now for the interesting part, who closes for the Orioles? Personally, I think it’s going to be Jim Johnson. I said him in last week’s Buy/Sell and he’s the same name I’m saying now. Johnson’s been owning the 8th inning setup duties for a while now, though he’s also given up runs in 3 of his last 4 appearances. So who else could it be? Could it be Baez? The answer my friend is blowing in the wind… Danys Baez was a donkey-corn back in 2005 for the Rays, collecting 41 Saves and posting a 2.86 ERA. So he’s capable, but the Orioles seem likely to give Johnson the first shot. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brandon Webb – Suffered a setback.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Roy Oswalt pulled something in his back and is presumably headed to the DL. The bad news here is he was supposedly a 2nd half pitcher in some people’s minds, though my mind wasn’t yet made up. It’s a guy’s prerogative to change his mind, or just not make it up at all. As someone who has struggled with lower back pain for most of his adult life… Oh, who am I kidding? I’m fit as a fiddle. I once dwarf bowled a 170. (Of course, he helped by kicking over that 7-10 split.) Wait, what was I saying? Oh, yeah! Oswalt. Yeah, he’s off to see a back specialist, the Astros are calling up Bud Norris, hopefully related to Chuck. Bud Norris might sound familiar to some of youse. Why? Cause I just said his name in the previous sentence. Hello, Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere. To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team. We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway). The 2009 Giants Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of McCovey Chronicles.Please, blog, may I have some more?