So my weekly piece comes on the heels of the awesomely fantastic Stream-o-nator, which was dropped by the other fellas that run this piece. It is a great little widget for fantasy baseball and a great stocking stuffer for the kids come Festivus. So what else happened in the week since we checked each other out, and, by check you out I mean I was in your neighbor’s tree and all I can say is I like what you have done with your furniture. Oh… not that checking, gotcha, we are officially on the same page now. So the trade deadline dropped some great nuggets of fantasy usefulness, not much in my department of 2-start lads, but still some.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just when you thought the hype for Ichiro Suzuki couldn’t get more unwarranted along comes a trade to the Yankees. There’s a short porch! There’s a jet stream! There’s more media scrutiny which will have him more focused! Iron Chef Morimoto will be preparing him pre-game meals!Please, blog, may I have some more?
These weeks just seem to be flying by, I know that seems cliche and tacky. We are at the trade deadline practically and it seems as though there are a lot of teams looking to buy, and some very intriguing names that are on the market right now. Starting pitching makes the fantasy world go round, it’s the truth, I slowed it down and saw Cliff Lee on a bicycle attached to it, pedaling. I can’t make that type of stuff up. So it seems like this week is a real ball em and rank em scenario. Not very many great options that are standing out for me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
It hasn’t been easy owning Matt Wieters this year. After a monster April (.279 / 6 HR / 15 RBI), he had an Arencibian May (.188 / 2 HR / 7 RBI). All the while, catchers on the waiver wire like A.J.Please, blog, may I have some more?
When Sveum told Rafael Dolis that they need him to fill in for Carlos Marmol, he took them way too literally. “So you don’t want me to walk everyone while blowing games? Totally mi mal!” That was Rafael Dolis talking through his translator who speaks Spanglish. “Can we get a translator who speaks English and Spanish…Separately!” That’s Sveum losing his shizz.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This is the part of this story that is supposed to grab the reader. I don’t believe in all the handy hullabaloo. I will be too worried about doing it in a fashion that is in the form of an inverted W and having other people critique it and say I am an injury risk going forward.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I had high apple pie in the sky hopes for David Robertson, but no one is safe. “There’s a storm a comin’! Jebediah, should I bring the cows into the barn?” “No, Gissley! It wants our closers!” “But I only have Juan Cruz! And I’s not even sure he’s the set-up man” “It doughs’cent matter!” Really, really shocked by Robertson performance yesterday (2/3 IP, 4 ER), but I guess I shouldn’t be. I’ve officially ‘learned’ Closepocalypse on my computer spellchecker. If Soriano is out there in your league, I’d grab him. The Yankees could flip-flop right back to him since he has ‘closer experience.’ You know, pulling the ol’ Robertson is just more comfortable in the 8th inning shtick. At this rate, Fernando Rodney’s going to be the only $12 Salad next month. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Chris Sale – This is a message from the Emergency Broadcast Network. If you are a closer, just go for an MRI now. You’re pitching with a torn tendon. I repeat, you have a torn tendon. So, Addison Reed might now be the closer on the White Sox, as Sale goes to get an MRI today. Robin Ventura thought a good way to preserve an injured pitcher’s arm was to throw him into high-leverage situations. I say that’s crummy with crackers, but what do I know? I’m just a guy who has a hard time pronouncing the word ‘peculiar.’ If Reed is out there, I’d grab him immediately. If Reed gets the closer job, he has a chance to be a strong Donkeycorn with $12 Salad upside. To all of those who are reading Razzball for the first time, that last sentence wasn’t gibberish. It only sounded like it.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Even King Mo, Thy Saver of the Throne, Sire of Sutter, Haver of Fingers, Tester of the Quiz, Nowhere Near the Stench of the Wickman is not immune to the closepocalypse that is upon us. The plague of ninth inning locusts strikes all that cross thee path! What? I was pouring out some Olde English for the brothers who aren’t here. Mariano Rivera was hurt shagging fly balls. Last person hurt like that was Jenna Jameson. It didn’t look good, as he was carted off in pain, and it turned out even worse, as he was diagnosed with a torn ACL. David Robertson should’ve been owned already, but here’s a real reason to, you save vulture. This is frustrating not because I owned Rivera. I don’t; I don’t believe in $12 Salads, but someone is lucking into Robertson, who could end up one of the best closers in baseball this year. If you’re really hurting for saves, it’s worth a speculative grab to pick up Rafael Soriano. The Yankees would have to be five cookies short of a potential Biggest Loser contestant’s breakfast to skip K-Rob for Soriano, but he does have closer experience. Whatever that means nowadays. After the closepocalypse, half the league’s pitchers have closer experience. Juan Cruz has it now! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Pablo Sandoval – Wanna hear something freaky? You have a third nipple!?Please, blog, may I have some more?
Drew Storen had arm discomfort… About two weeks ago. He hasn’t pitched in a game since March 7th and had soreness in his biceps playing catch yesterday. Playing catch? What, the Nats doing a video for Cat’s in the Cradle? He should be pitching, not playing catch. So that’s one red flag. The bigger red flag with a skull and crossbones is obviously soreness from playing catch. That’s awesome for a young reliever who was used a lot last year (75 1/3 IP). Two days ago, Davey Johnson said Storen wasn’t throwing because he had strep throat. So does he have strep arm now? Johnson said he’s not worried about Storen. Davey lies… Davey lies when he cries and implies Storen is still his prize… In all but the shallowest leagues, I’d grab Tyler Clippard, who sounds like a captain in the America’s Cup. For those in deeper leagues or feeling light on saves, I’d grab Lidge. I think Storen will ultimately be fine, but better safe than sorry as they say in the Clichè Hall of Fame, which is located on Main Street in Capital City. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Joe Blanton – Report out of Philly is they aren’t motivated to trade Blanton. Sounds like when your garbage piles up and you can’t motivate to throw it out. Maybe we’ll see the Phillies on the new season of Hoarders.Please, blog, may I have some more?