Weekly leaguers, Two-Startapalooza is back with a fresh lineup for week two. It’s a weekly feature, so obviously it’s back. I’ll try to come up with more clever ledes in future weeks, but I’m a little busy right now prepping my photog equipment for Tehol’s Playgirl shoot. Speaking of Tehol, he’s gonna be posting on points leagues this season, and I know many of you two-start hoarders are points league participants, so be sure to read his stuff. Anyway, here’s a look at the two-start landscape for week two.
As always, probable pitchers are subject to change. And for a look at all fantasy baseball streamers, click that link. The Steam-o-Nator goes live April 8th. Please, blog, may I have some more?
And the Prospect Gods looked down at the Cardinals pitching staff and proclaimed, “And so it Shelby…” But the Gods decided to keep Oscar Taveras for themselves — at least for a little while. Bunch of Federalist-loving pigs. So, the Cardinals make up for starting Jon Jay over Oscar Taveras by giving prospect, Shelby Miller, the 5th starter role over non-descript-in-every-way, Joe Kelly. When I say, boo, you say ya. Boo…ya! Boo…ya! Cherimo…ya! Ah, fooled you. In November, I wrote a Shelby Miller 2013 fantasy. There I said, “The final answer on (whether he makes the rotation) will probably be decided on the last few days of Spring Training. In 2012, he was called up towards the end of the season and gave a 10.54 K-rate and a 1.32 ERA in 13 2/3 innings. If you look up that stat line in the thesaurus, its synonym is “lights out.” Due to a butterfly flapping its wings in Indonesia, Miller also had a 10.54 K-rate in Triple-A through 136 2/3 IP. His ERA wasn’t as purdy, but he “re-committed” himself in the 2nd half of 2012 and had a 2.88 ERA in his last ten starts with a 70/7 K/BB. Weird, cause I had an aunt who was “re-committed” and things didn’t turn out half as well. He can be a number one pitcher. When I say that about a 22-year-old, we’re talking about someone having the possibility at a top ten pitcher in all of baseball. Knowing the way Cardinals turn out young men… Um, I mean, knowing the way the St. Louis Cardinals can turn prospects into solid major league pitchers (the Vatican asked me to specify), I wouldn’t be surprised to see Shelby Miller being a productive member of the Cards rotation in 2013. For 2013, I see 10-4/3.63/1.27/155 in 150 innings and 21 starts. That’s a huge projection for a rookie pitcher. And there’s a chance for more.” And that’s me quoting me! I’m in love. He should be owned in all leagues. Yes, even your eight-person league where you own all eight teams. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in Spring Training for 2013 fantasy baseball: Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gird your loins – we’re currently navigating positions battles in each division. Today I’m talking about the AL West, which gains the Astros this year, if anyone considers them something you gain. Every other team in the division should stand to benefit from the move. Maybe I’ve already beat them into the ground, especially with my review of worst pitching staffs in 2012, but they really could have a season for the ages (of a fallen empire). Across the state, the Rangers should continue to be a powerhouse, despite Ron Washington’s “leadership.” Meanwhile, the Angels look like the terminator, although, once their non-Trout core ages a little more, maybe they’ll be merely human. Today’s empires, tomorrow’s ashes – am I right? I don’t want to say anything bad about the Mariners other than this sentence implying that I have something bad to say about them. Ah yes, and I’m required by the union of baseball writers to have a token mention of the A’s. There you go. Anyway, here’s some of the position battles to watch in the AL West: Please, blog, may I have some more?
It’s a wrap for Jose Bautista in 2012. See you around like a donut in 2013. It’s far from breaking news that he’s done for the year. It looked like it was headed that way for the last few days. As an aptly-named, pessimistic Polish man would be named, Bummerooski. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Max Scherzer is finally starting to post some non-apocalyptic ERA/WHIP results to go along with his thunderous league-leading K totals. A 7 inning / 1 ER / 9 K win against the Pujoless Angels marks his 4th straight start with a Win, 6+ IP, 2 ER or less, and 8+ Ks (this was actually his 8th straight start with 8+ Ks!). Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last week, we got together for a Sunday brunch and enjoyed ourselves some Spam and eggs. What’s it made out of? Who cares! Fried to a crisp with an egg on top, maybe some rice or sourdough bread on the side, yes sir… it’s like a Hawaiian beach inside of your mouth. Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Brewers called up shortstop, Jean Segura. Woohoo! Now, on various teams, I have Domonic Brown, Mike Olt, Straily, Starling Marte, Brett Jackson, Josh Vitters and some serious Short Eyes. I’m basically the creepy guy hanging around the playground in my Astrovan, blasting “Hey Nineteen” wearing candy jewelry like I’m Mr. Please, blog, may I have some more?
So my weekly piece comes on the heels of the awesomely fantastic Stream-o-nator, which was dropped by the other fellas that run this piece. It is a great little widget for fantasy baseball and a great stocking stuffer for the kids come Festivus. So what else happened in the week since we checked each other out, and, by check you out I mean I was in your neighbor’s tree and all I can say is I like what you have done with your furniture. Oh… not that checking, gotcha, we are officially on the same page now. So the trade deadline dropped some great nuggets of fantasy usefulness, not much in my department of 2-start lads, but still some. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Here’s what I said last November about Theo Epstein, “A new GM can toss out the used-up-and-spit-out pieces he inherits, right? It’s like when a new boss comes into a flailing company and all the employees start quaking in their boots that they’re gonna get fired because they’re unproductive. Please, blog, may I have some more?
Just when you thought the hype for Ichiro Suzuki couldn’t get more unwarranted along comes a trade to the Yankees. There’s a short porch! There’s a jet stream! There’s more media scrutiny which will have him more focused! Iron Chef Morimoto will be preparing him pre-game meals! Please, blog, may I have some more?