Seriously, kid, just don’t. I mean, I’m only streaming you in every league in season long while also touting you in a lead post on Razzball. Do you understand the honor I’m bestowing here? This post has seen names like Kyle Lobstein grace the front page! This shizz is serious. Now that I think about it, I’ve touted Chris Heston before on here too and he stunk up the joint that time out. Hrm…nah, too lazy to change it at this point so let us do what DFS should have taught us by now: not fearing going back to the well. Unless of course your well is on a farm on The Walking Dead and there’s a zombie at the bottom of it. Good lawd, that season made me check out on the series so quickly. So much tension about nothing and where were the flipping zombies!?! If I wanted to watch forced drama, I’d watch reality television, AMC. But where was I? Oh yeah, the well. The reasoning behind why Heston is a good get is still there. He’s solid at home, has a strong K rate vs righties, and the home park helps a little with his lefty struggles. I see Heston as a good cash game play as he makes an easy SP2 to pair with Sale with his price point at $6,300. When you factor in how bad the Mets offense has been of late – they had zero HRs and only 13 runs scored over their last 7 heading into Sunday – there’s a chance for SP1 numbers for chump change. Just don’t make me feel like a chump again, Heston…just don’t. But enough about my love/hate for Chris, let’s get on with it. Here’s my most caliente takes for this Monday DK slate…

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Please, blog, may I have some more?

As many of you know, Bruce Bochy has the biggest head in the major leagues. As a player, when he was traded, he would have to take his helmet with him to his new club because the new team wouldn’t have a helmet big enough for him. It made traveling easier, since everything he needed would fit inside the helmet. We all know the story about how when Giants rookie, Joe Panik, was called up, he forgot to make arrangements to stay somewhere in the San Fran area, so he draped a sheet over Bochy’s cap and slept in there. Lots of good has come of Bochy’s giant melon. Of course, the 27-pound bowling ball has its drawbacks. Like when he went to see Toy Story and blocked half the audience. Lots of angry parents that day. Or the time he was in South Dakota and people starting climbing up his side thinking he was Mount Rushmore. Sometimes what would take a person with a normal-sized head a week or two to figure out, thoughts bounce around in Bochy’s Metrodome much longer. So when Sergio Romo wasn’t good for the month of May, then again in June, it took longer for Bochy to realize a change was needed, but he finally figured it out. Bochy said Santiago Casilla would replace Romo, then he banged the side of his head for 15 minutes waiting for another thought, and finally it came out that Jeremy Affeldt would see some situational saves, as long as Gilbert Gottfried isn’t introducing Affeldt at games. Yesterday, Affeldt got hit, and Casilla looked solid as he has all year. I’d grab Casilla in all leagues if you’re SAGNOF’ing around for saves. Hopefully, even if Bochy thinks about putting Romo back in the role, it takes a few weeks for that thought to land in the right spot in his cavernous whale head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America
2012 (21) | 2011 (24) | 2010 (29) | 2009 (8) | 2008 (16)

2012 Affiliate Records
MLB: [94-68] NL West
AAA: [74-70] Pacific Coast League – Fresno
AA: [70-71] Eastern League – Richmond
A+: [75-65] California State League – San Jose
A: [69-70] South Atlantic League – Augusta
A(ss): [32-44] Northwest League — Salem-Keiser

Arizona Fall League Players — Scottsdale Scorpions
Ryan Bradley (LHP); Jacob Dunnington (RHP); Chris Gloor (LHP); Heath Hembree (RHP); Dan Runzler (LHP); Ricky Oropesa (1B); Joe Panik (SS); Gary Brown (OF)

Graduated Prospects
Hector Sanchez (C); Brett Pill (Util)

The Run Down
I can’t help but think that this system would look a whole shizzload better if it still included Zack Wheeler. Sorry, Giants fans, but that Wheeler-for-Beltran swap was for naught, and more than a year removed from it, I’m sure you’re all wishing that Gary Brown had been the guy sent to the Mets. I feel your pain, San Francisco. But then y’all went and won the World Friggen Series, and all wounds have been healed. Still, though, this farm system isn’t tremendous. Brown has crashed back down to Earth, and there doesn’t seem to be much high-impact talent beneath him. Big years in 2013 from guys like Kyle Crick and Chris Stratton will fill that void, but until then, the Giants will have to rely on their big league roster… which happens to be quite good, actually.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

San Francisco Giants 2011 Minor League Review

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America:

2011 (24) | 2010 (29) | 2009 (8) | 2008 (16) | 2007 (23) | 2006 (21) | 2005 (30) | 2004 (28)

2011 Affiliate Records

MLB: [86-76] NL West

AAA: [65-79] Pacific Coast League – Fresno

AA: [76-66] Eastern League – Richmond

A+: [90-50] California League – San Jose

A: [70-68] South Atlantic League – Augusta

A(ss): [34-42] Northwest League – Salem-Keizer

The Run Down

Maybe it’s just me, but these Giants prospects are boring.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

The Milwaukee Brewers promoted the 24-year-old, unranked third baseman Taylor Green. Has a solid swing, controls strike zone and make consistent sound contact, power is average at best. Defensively is where he stands out, showing above-average skill. This year at Triple-A (Pacific Coast League) he has a dominant slash line .336/.413/.583 in 420 at-bats with 59 XBH (22 Hr) and a 72:55 K:BB ratio. Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?