I really don’t want to spend much time on Endy Chavez. Which means basically two things. 1) I don’t think to much of the guy. 2) The Mariners outfield situation is bad. Really bad. Boy, wouldn’t it be nice if they still had a fourth outfielder that could play center and have some pop? Granted, they could have claimed Casper Wells, after the either previous DFA’s this past week, but pride goeth before a fall, or so they say. Well, now that I’m thinking about it, if I’m going to talk about Shelley Duncan and Don Kelly in previous iterations of this series, might as well make Chavez feel right at home. Hitting 269/308/367 for his career, that’s basically who he is. But he’s getting at-bats, so he’s filler if you need it. And if you need filler like that, bless your heart.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Going into yesterday’s game, Gio Gonzalez had a 5.85 ERA and in three of four starts he only threw five innings. I saw the fear in your eyes. Nervousness was percolating just below the surface. You were like Mr. Coffee when he was about to lose his virginity. You were expecting some grinds and instead you were just overheating. Steaming so hard you needed a cup to catch the water beneath you. (How long you think I could keep the visual of Mr. Coffee about to lose his virginity going? Three more lines? Do I hear four?) Finally, the heat was too much, the water dripping too fast and everything began to steam. Quickly, you grabbed your little creamer. She usually likes to put the cream in herself, but you’re just gonna splash it all over the place to avoid a mess on your pants. And that’s how coffee became Mr. Coffee. So, today Gio threw an eight-inning, one-hitter with 7 Ks; his only blemish a Votto opposite-field blast. Things looked awry, making dyslexics wary. Luckily, it’s still freakin’ April and you shouldn’t worry so much. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jason Heyward sat again yesterday in favor of Jose Constanza. I don’t want to shout fire in the theater of Razzball, but this isn’t good. Constanza is making Heyward look like the best seller at the jerk store. Actually, Heyward was kinda doing it to himself.Please, blog, may I have some more?
CC Sabathia left his start with biceps tightness. Or is it bicep? Hmm… Either way, it’s not great to hear about an arm issue with your fantasy ace. Right now they’re saying no tests are even necessary. Give me two hundred CCs of a White Russian and I’m asking this, you pay one hundred trillion dollars for a player and then you don’t send him for tests when he hurts his bicep(s)? Are they joking? Seriously, is this Candid Camera? I thought I saw my Adam Lambert poster’s eyes move. Is there a camera behind there? Send me a signal, throw me a line. Hopefully, tests aren’t necessary because it’s so obviously not a problem. They don’t need to administer tests for how Sabathia feels about his new home park, The Jetstream. To the left, to the left… Now, up, baby, up… He has a 3.99 ERA at home and 3.35 away. His 6 K/9 is more troubling. That would be the lowest mark of his career. Even last year in April when he was struggling, he was K’ing more than one batter per inning. Hopefully in the 2nd half of the year he can rearrange the girth and makes things right. (Fun with anagrams!) Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Daisuke Matsuzaka – Disgraceful List just got one more as the Sawx made room for Smoltz. Neither funny nor that insightful, but you’d think there would be some kind of rule by the MLB that teams can’t just DL someone because they’re ineffective.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Oh, they’re not just bad. Nah, I outdid even myself this time. On this drafternoon, I picked a team that is near-perfectly awful. They simultaneously suck and blow. On a scale of one to ten, they’re a negative seven. I did the math! Somehow I managed to get a team where not one hitter projects for more than twelve home runs. If someone in the Royals brass gets wind of my drafting skills, I may get a job! If you think I’m being facetious (which was recently outlawed in Madagascar), shame on you. And shame on this team! I took part in a fantasy baseball draft this past Saturday to pick the worst fantasy baseball team. And I think I done did it. My co-conspirators in this were:
Come with me as I take out the trash:
Random thoughts about various rounds of the draft:
ROUND 1 – I had my eye on Ronnie Belliard like only Mrs.Please, blog, may I have some more?