Fantasy Baseball Advice

The horrid season for Shin-Soo Choo continues.  He’s probably wishing he just went the Bob Feller-Inglorious Basterd route and did his required military time this year in his home country.  Kevin Correia said, “We could’ve used him.”  Now when Choo gets blotto he can’t even hitchhike home from one side of the road.  An optimistic timetable has him out for 6 weeks, but it sounds like Choo doesn’t think he can.  I wouldn’t be surprised if we don’t see him until September and, even then, what are you going to get?  The same you’d get off waivers.  If you don’t have DL room, I’d cut him, Mickey.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Jose Tabata – Left the game on a cart with a quad injury after running out a bunt single.  Paula Deen would call that a bunt ache.  Or, as Cameron Frye would say, Tabata Tabata Tabata, stuh-rain, Tabata Tabata.  The Pirates immediately pulled Alex Presley from their Triple-A lineup.  It’s time for the really big shew with today’s guest, Alex Presley.  Girls in poodle skirts go crazy.  I just went over Presley the other day.  I said, “He sticks…longer…profiles…”  Hmm… Gotta work on what quotes I pull.  He’s a 12/20 guy over the course of a season.  In one league instead of Presley, I grabbed Xavier Paul, though Garrett Jones was who the Pirates called on yesterday to replace Tabata.  He would be my first choice too in some fantasy leagues.

Pedro Alvarez – Another setback as he has the worst sophomore effort since The Strokes’ follow-up to Is This It.

Ryan Madson – Having problems gripping the baseball on certain pitches and is sidelined for a few days.  On one hand, he’s had this problem since May 20th so hopefully he can pitch through it.  On the other hand, this sounds bad for a pitcher.  On the third hand that is really just a foot wearing aqua socks, I’d grab Antonio Bastardo and Michael Stutes, in that order, for vulture saves.

Justin Morneau – Out for another 6 weeks with neck surgery.  Lessneau is better than Morneau at this point.

Delmon Young – On the DL with a high ankle sprain.  After having a breakout season in 2010 (.298/21/112), he went on medication to prevent future breakouts (.256/2/21 in 200+ ABs).  The Twins are bringing up Rene Tosoni to try and replace Young’s 0.2 WAR.  Minnesota hasn’t had this high profile of replacement-level performance since Paul Westerberg left town.

Elvis Andrus – Out with a wrist sprain, but says he should be good to go as soon as Tuesday.  Viva la Elvis!

Justin Verlander – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 14 Ks.  As Leyland would say, “He’s as cool as menthol cigarettes.”

Alex Avila – Now hitting .303 and is on place for near 20/100.  While the AVG is inflated (.365 BABIP), it’s clear that AA is benefitting from all the time Miguel Cabrera is spending with him.

Ty Wigginton – Hit 2 home runs on Sunday and one on Saturday staying the mayor of Hot Schmotatown.

Chris Iannetta – 2-for-4 with the rare catcher slam & legs as he hit ninth behind Blackmon, who’s sunk like a rock, man.

Jay Bruce – Missed yesterday’s game with an illness.  Dusty said, “We have to find a way to quarantine him so he doesn’t get everybody sick.”  I have a better idea, put him with Ramon Hernandez so you have to call up Devin Mesoraco.

Homer Bailey – 5 IP, 5 ER as the Orioles sang, “(Won’t You Go Home At Will On) Homer Bailey.”

Cory Luebke – 5 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Yeah, you should pick him up.  Yeah, even you ducking behind your desk trying to hide while you pick your nose.

Johnny Venters – 2/3 IP, 4 ER.  Of all the gin joints, in all the towns, in all the world, Venters gives up 4 earned runs in Petco.

Nick Markakis – 3-for-5, 2 RBIs and a steal.  On Saturday, he hit a home run.  He’s now batting near .325 for the month of June with only two home runs.  He’s become pretty yawnstipating during his prime years, but he is currently hitting and can keep the average up.

Jon Niese – Left Saturday’s game with a rapid heartbeat, but was fine on Sunday after taking it Niese and easy.

John Danks – To the DL with a strained oblique.  Figure he’s out for 3-4 weeks.  Just as he was on the road back from an 0-8 record to 3-8.  Next stop 33% winning percentage!  Oh well, Danks for the memories.

Vernon Wells – Homers in back-to-back games.  It pains me to be an apologist for Vernon Wells, but, if you throw out his April, he has 8 homers in his last 92 ABs.  That’s 30 homers over a season.  Now to undercut it — he’s really not doing much else.

Geovany Soto – 3-for-3 with a HR and now has hit 3 HRs in his last 10 games.  Finally hitting the baseball like he hits a spliff.

Jonathan Broxton – Scratched from his Triple-A game because of a stiff elbow.  Or a little firmer than al dente.  The Dodgers get saves about as often as I update my hairstyle, so this might be moot, but I’d hold Guerra.

Jonathan Sanchez – To the DL with an injury the Giants made up so they didn’t have to watch him walk hitters anymore.  Was a bad weekend to be a pitcher with any variation of the name of Jonathan, though okay for Joe Nathan.

Al Alburquerque – Got his 5th win and now has 46 Ks in 27 2/3 IP.  I hate middle relievers.  There’s no rhyme or reason.  I’d put $20 down that Al Al’etc won’t even be a top 30 middle reliever next year.  These guys are the fantasy baseball equivalent to Icarus.

Luke Scott – 1-for-3 with a home run.  Usually I don my Easter bonnet and start doing The Funky Chicken when Scott hits a home run because where there’s one there’s usually multiple.  But I think he’s really struggling with his shoulder this year.

Jimmy Rollins – 4-for-4 and he stole one base wearing Ryan Howard’s jersey.

Roy Halladay – Complete game victory in Philly against the A’s.  Connie Mack is rolling over in his grave!

Chris Narveson – 6 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  In three short months, I’ve learned to hate Narveson.  I like him, he gets beat bad, I decide to move on from him and he pitches well.  Grr… Chris Narveson really is the Christian name for The Noid!

Ryan Braun – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with a home run and steal.  Gotta love a guy that only gets one hit and fills his fantasy line so well.  Love you, Braun.  Write soon!

Tsuyoshi Nishioka – 2-for-4 with his first multi-hit game since his return from the DL.  Would love to see him steal a base, more so I can see if he can.

Jhonny Peralta – Now has 11 homers since June 7th.  Silent H, which only sounds like a euphemism for herpes, has been better than lots of other shortstops.  Hanley, for one.

Danny Espinosa – Hit his 14th home run.  Officially having a better season than Jayson Werth.  Cust kayin’.

Joakim Soria – Has recorded six straight saves and hasn’t given up a run in June.  Has also only walked two hitters all month while striking out 12.  Guess he just needed a pat on the back to get through his May hiccups.

Ricky Romero – A 4-hit shutout against the Cardinals as he plowed right through their Pujols-less lineup.  His 2.74 ERA should be closer to 3.50 but is deflated thanks to a high strand rate (80+%) but his K-rate and BB rates have continually improved over his 2 1/2 seasons.  I just ask that he sticks with Ricky like ‘The Dragon’ did versus start insisting on being called Rick like Mssrs. Nelson and Schroeder.

B.J. Upton – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs.  Back-to-back games with homers.  Has 2 more home runs than Longoria and 19 more steals.  But everyone hates Upton… Sorry, everyone hates low averages.  Stop dispaveraging!

Evan Longoria – In 6 at-bats, 5 RBIs, 4 hits, 3 runs, 2 home runs and a partridge in a pear tree.

Matt Downs – 2nd pinch hit home run in the last week.  Has a .280 average and .388 OBP.  Nice that the Astros are giving long looks to Clint Barmes and Jeff Keppinger.  Never know what they might give you.  Some days it’s 1-for-4 with a caught stealing and some days it’s 0-for-3 with a sac bunt.  The sky’s the limit!  If I were Ed Wade’s Toupee, I’d trade give away Barmes, Keppinger and Carlos Lee at the trade deadline.

Mark Melancon – 1 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  I’d say trouble for his closer’s job, but his setup man, Wilton Lopez dispensed 4 runs in 2 1/3 IP yesterday.

Roy Oswalt – To the DL until August with back pain.  Oswalt was excited about the suggested treatment until he learned that traction has nothing to do with John Deere-branded equipment.

To discuss Francisco Liriano at Razzball HQ, I gathered the Random Italicized Voice, MR. AL CAPS and Larry King.  After eating me out of house and home — “The selection was pretty meager.  Freezer pops, really?” “NOT A THING TO DRINK,” “Anyone see where I put down my teeth?” –  we talked about Liriano.  He started off in the preseason in my top 10 starters for 2011.  “That call looks as pretty as Rocky Dennis.“  “YOU SHOULD’VE FOLLOWED THAT CALL WITH SAYING TYLER COLVIN WOULD HIT 40 HOME RUNS.”  “I wonder if my teeth are in the bathroom.”  April saw Liriano’s ERA balloon to 9.13 and a lot of talk about how the Twins asked him to throw to contact.  Yeah, why strike out guys when you can have hitters hit balls into holes?  “I’d like to hit some of my random italicized balls into holes.“  “NICE ONE, RIV!”  “Hey, what do you know?  I clipped the potato bag closed with my teeth.”  In May, Liriano had an ERA of 2.52 and a no hitter, but he still didn’t look completely right.  In June, he’s given up one earned run in 13 innings.  More importantly, he has more Ks than innings pitched.  After his June 7th start, I said that was the best he’s looked all year, including the no-hitter.  On Sunday, he looked better — 8 IP, 1 ER, 2 hits, zero walks and 9 Ks vs. the Rangers.  He’s not at 100% owned in ESPN, I’d go ahead and fix that.  Also, if you can get a Liriano owner to think he’s selling high, I’d see if I could still buy low.  Remember some of these owners are still dealing with early season scars when he looked like hot garbage.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Joe Mauer – Supposed to return on Thursday.  I’ll give him an over/under of 7 home runs on the year.  I’ll give him and Morneau combined an over/under of 14 homers.  Or two less than The Drubal has right now.  “Why do I own Morneau in multiple leagues?”  That’s me standing on the edge of the Golden Gate Bridge with tears streaming down my cheeks.

Mike Napoli – Headed to the DL with a strained oblique.  The bad news is he’ll probably miss three to four weeks.  The good news is it’s three to four weeks without questioning why Napoli isn’t playing.  If humans use 10% of their brains and 7% of that is used with Napoli questions, suddenly you’re all gonna be like Travolta in Phenomenon.  Forget picking up a free agent catcher, pick up a tractor trailer with a wiggle of your finger.

Miguel Olivo – Hit two more home runs on Sunday.  All he does is hit home runs!  (For a week or two then goes crazy cold.)

Justin Smoak – Hit his 2nd home run in the last three days, now has 12 on the year.  I think next year he’s going to be terrific, but this year he might just be a tad better than Mitch Moreland.  BTW, who names their kid, Mitch?  That’s one of the few times the long form of a name — Mitchell — is far preferable.  Hmm, looking again at the Google Map of this post, it looks like I could’ve avoided the Mitch detour.

Bartolo Colon – To the 15 day DL.  When Colon heard he had a strained hammy, he asked if it was glazed.

Jorge Posada – 2-for-3 and is now only six points away in average from Russell Martin (.226 vs. .232).  That’s not a positive for Posada, but a negative for Russell Martin, who I told people to sell back in April.

Derek Jeter – 7 from 3,000.  Tony Gwynn said the last ten hits are the hardest to 3,000.  Gwynn, “Until you get those last 10 hits, you won’t even enjoy the activity you enjoy most.  For you, that’s probably banging Minka Kelly.  For me, it was eating Big Macs.”

Aaron Harang – Headed to the DL with a foot injury, which for the Harangatuan could be his hands, not sure.  Since Dustin Moseley is also ailing, Wade LeBlanc could fill in the rotation.  In deeper mixed and NL-Only leagues, he’s a decent Hodgepadre flyer.

Anthony Rizzo – Homered on Saturday.  It’s Rizzo, jerky!

John Axford – Recorded his 18th save to go along with his 2.97 ERA.  Member when you dropped him the first week of the season?  Yeah, I’d suggest Ritalin for the Attention Deficit Drops.

Dustin Pedroia – Since the knee scare, he’s actually been great.  Yesterday, he hit a home run, before that two three-hit days.  Maybe I was irrationally worried about his knee, or maybe I just couldn’t put my finger on his can’t-put-your-finger-on-it-ness.

David Ortiz – 2-for-6, 4 RBIs and his 17th home run while sporting a .325 average.  His collapse next year is gonna catch some fantasy owners off guard, but think about the poor schmuck who’s gonna give him a 3-year, $45 million contract.  Ed Wade’s Toupee, “If we had a DH, I’d consider it.  We don’t have a DH, right?”

Kyle Drabek – 4 IP, 8 ER.  Will have a nice career at some point, but right now he looks like five kinds of wrong with a side of meh.  Speaking of meh, Super 8, though it ended up being just disappointing because of expectations.  How does J.J. Abrams go wrong with Close Encounters meets E.T. meets Stand By Me?  Only thing that could have been more disappointing is if David Simon was somehow involved, but he’s busy disappointing me with Treme.  I will say I would like to see an updated Goonies built around the pyromaniac kid with braces.  Finally we have a new Mouth.  If that kid isn’t mainlining heroin within 5 years because of all the money he’s about to make, he should fire his parents.

Hunter Pence – Sat out Sunday with a sore back.  I have a sore “lacking a 2nd outfielder” on my fantasy teams, so hopefully it’s not a major issue.

Allen Craig – To the DL.  Hopefully, the Rays call up Desmond Jennings soon.  What does that have to do with Allen Craig?  Nothing.

Rubby de la Rosa – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Left the game early rubbing his index finger.  He was either injured or playing charades with his name.

Andre Ethier – 0-for-4, hitting .321 with 5 homers and no steals on the year.  He is such an empty average and, when that falls to .300, you’re gonna be left with even less.

Scott Elbert – Got the Dodgers first save in 3 weeks.  This was just a situational save; I wouldn’t run out and add Elbert.  I would add Elbert before Roeper though.  He was worse for their show than Ebert’s cancer.

Ubaldo Jimenez – 5 1/3 IP, 2 ER, 12 baserunners, 2 Ks and 5 unearned runs.  Holy ticker shock!

Carlos Gonzalez – 3-for-5 with only his 2nd slam and legs this year, as his owners hunger for more.  He now has 9 homers and 10 steals.  He’s just about on pace for where I thought he’d be.

J.P. Howell – Ye of the 10+ ERA got the save yesterday even though Farnsworth wasn’t overworked on Saturday.  I think it was just a one time thing for Thurston and Lovey’s kid, but it’s worth monitoring.  Or not.  Your choice.

Mark Reynolds – On Saturday, he hit 2 home runs.  On Sunday, he left the game with a left arm contusion, according to ESPN.  Is it me or are teams using the word contusion a lot recently?  Was contusion just the Word of the Day at Dictionary.com?  Did Selig send around a memorandum that teams should start using contusion?  It’s a bruise, people.

Adam Jones – 2-for-4 with his 9th homer.  He’s been better than Heyward.  Cust kayin’.

Dan Uggla – 2-for-3 with his 8th home run and first since May 15th.  Or the first home run for Uggla since we lost the rapper of Teach Me How To Dougie.  Good to see Uggla’s finally putting that behind him.

Tommy Hanson – 7 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 14 Ks.  First name:  Hommy.  Last name:  Tanson.  Middle Name:  Butter.

Craig Kimbrel – Venters recorded his 3rd save on Sunday but the word on the streets of Atlanta is Kimbrel is still the closer, he just needed to rest.  Here’s a revolutionary idea, rest him during non-save situations.

Sergio Santos – Got the save yesterday but he’s now given up 8 earned runs in his last three outings.  I could see grabbing Thornton on spec, but I’d leave him on my bench for now.

Adam Dunn – Hit his 2nd home run in the last 4 days.  An Uggla and Dunn homer on the same day.  It’s a total eclipse of a bad start.

Scott Sizemore – 1-for-3 with his first home run.  He went 3-for-4 on Friday and has been playing every day.  If you’re hurting at middle or corner infidel, it’s worth looking at him.

Tyler Chatwood – 3 2/3 IP, 5 ER as he got Mazzacred.

Jordan Zimmermann – 7 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I love him, enough’s been written on that.  But, let’s be clear, against the Padres in Petco isn’t exactly facing the 1927 Yankees in Coors.

Elvis Andrus – Was pulled from the game for a lack of energy going to first.  Ron Washington, “Was setting an example, but I know about wanting to savor it when you go down a line…”

Alcides Escobar – 2-for-3 with his 8th steal.  Yeah, yeah, fail with a hashtag for Alcides, but he’s 10 for his last 17 with 2 steals.

Mike Moustakas – Homered on Saturday.  The Royals should hand out bottles of tahini and have their fans squirt each other in the face after a home run.  It’s Greek love!

Hey, Stephen here and this is my first draft representing Razzball.  Let me know what you think of the team in the comments.  Here is my team and a few things I was thinking:

Battle of the Fantasy Gods draft 3/7/11. 14 teams, Roto, 5 x 5, 2C, 1B, 2B, 3B, SS, MI, CI, 5 OF, UTL, 9 P, 2 DL, 5 total bench spots (max 30 players); no innings limit, no at-bat limit.

Rd 1 Pk 9 – Evan Longoria, 3B
Rd 2 Pk 20 – Ryan Howard, 1B
Rd 3 Pk 37 – Brandon Phillips, 2B
Rd 4 Pk 48 – Hunter Pence, OF
Rd 5 Pk 65 – B.J. Upton, OF
Rd 6 Pk 76 – Yovanni Gallardo, SP
Rd 7 Pk 93 – Elvis Andrus, SS
Rd 8 Pk 104 – Matt Cain, SP
Rd 9 Pk 121 – Carlos Pena, 1B/CI
Rd 10 Pk 132 – Jose Valverde, RP/CL
Rd 11 Pk 149 – Shawn Marcum, SP
Rd 12 Pk 160 – Adam Jones, OF
Rd 13 Pk 177 – Ted Lily, SP
Rd 14 Pk 188 – Logan Morrison, OF
Rd 15 Pk 205 – Edwin Jackson, SP
Rd 16 Pk 216 – Matt Capps, RP/CL
Rd 17 Pk 233 – Ricky Nolasco, SP
Rd 18 Pk 244 – Jordan Zimmermann, SP
Rd 19 Pk 261 – Danny Espinosa, 2B/SS/MI
Rd 20 Pk 272 – Mike Minor, SP
Rd 21 Pk 289 – Bud Norris, SP
Rd 22 Pk 300 – Miguel Olivo, C
Rd 23 Pk 317 – Njyer Morgan, OF
Rd 24 Pk 328 – Asdrubal Cabrera, SS
Rd 25 Pk 345 – Octavio Dotel, RP/CL
Rd 26 Pk 356 – Brandon Allen, 1B
Rd 27 Pk 373 – Mike Moustakas, 3B
Rd 28 Pk 384 – Jesus Montero, C

Sleepers? Psh-posh. More like reach.
I follow a morphed strategy of Rudy’s and Grey’s by drafting safe and consistent players in the first few rounds, take value when it falls, and taking upside risks throughout the draft. However, I was struck by how many managers were drafting players far before I either expected them to or astronomically early.  Jay Bruce drafted pick 46 (Grey’s ranking 84). Mike Stanton draft pick 63 (Grey’s ranking 87). Craig Kimbrel drafted pick 154 (Grey’s ranking 197). Drew Stubbs drafted pick 70 (Grey’s ranking 98). This doesn’t include Jose Bautista going before Prince Fielder over even Matt Kemp, or Buster Posey going at pick number 28 before Victor Martinez (pick 42), Brian McCann (pick 51) and three picks after Joe Mauer.

My team is yawnstipating with a glaring weakness in Average
… Yet that value makes my team feel boring. I don’t have a fancy tool like Rudy to run my team through to see if it’s “good enough” to defeat my opposition. However, there appears to be a few nice upside players littered throughout. For example, Marcum plucked at 149, Espinosa at 261, Asdrubal falling to 328. Octavio Dotel was a hope and a prayer. Mike Minor was my sexy pick back in March, now it doesn’t look as sexy.  Matt Capps was a handcuff, because even as a Twins fan, I don’t trust Nathan.

Mama always said …
There will be struggles along the way. It’s amazing how decent this team looked two weeks ago and how scary — when’s Longoria returning? — the team looks now.  Asdrubal still looks like a steal, but the last few rounds are flyers that don’t look so great now.  The team should contend, but it’s going to take some maneuvering on the waiver wire and in trades.  So what do you think of the team?

Chris Narveson, his name makes me think of the insurance guy from Groundhog Day.  Am I right or am I right-right?  His name also would sound good recited by Chris Cornell.  Chris Narveson, won’t you come and wash away the rain?  Won’t you come.  Won’t you come.  Narveson was in my top 80 starters.  Let’s see what I said there, “Hmm… I don’t remember and I’m too lazy to click on the link to the actual blurb.  No one actually reads stuff I quote from myself so I’m gonna pretend I just explained Narveson to a T.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Yesterday, he had the line of 6 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks.  He’s also 29 years old, so I’d preach a bit of caution.  He’s good for Ks (7+ K/9), dangerous on walks and around a 4.00 ERA starter in the NL.  So that’s good, meh, serviceable.  In any league deeper than 12 team, he should be owned.  In 12 team leagues, I’d take the flyer where I had room.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Rickie Weeks – 2-for-4 with his 3rd homer in 4 games.  On one hand, I’d sell him.  On the other hand, who are you selling him for?  On my third lesser known hand, I’m wearing a puppet while talking out of the corner of my mouth.

Brandon Beachy – 6 IP, 1 ER, 5 baserunners, 7 Ks.  It’s full steam ahead.  I.e., pick him up, snitches!

Craig Kimbrel – 1 IP, 3 Ks and the save.  Rawr!  That is all.

Rick Porcello – 5 IP, 5 ER.  Porcello dropped a mushroom cloud.  I own Porcello in my Fantasy Razzball league.  You know, the league where you want the worst players.  That’s what I think of him.  I do hear Porcello is a fungi!

Miguel Cabrera – 0-for-4, played yesterday but he was throwing up during the game.  Liquor before beer, man.  C’mon!

Will Rhymes – 2-for-3, and his first major league steal.  He can steal 25 of them if he plays in 130+ games.  SAGNOF!  And he appreciates the finer things in life.

Andrew McCutchen – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer as The Dread Pirate returned to the lineup.  This season is when McCutchen goes 20/40 and becomes a top outfielder.

Neil Walker – 3-for-4, 2 RBIs and hitting .412.  For what it’s Wuertz, Walker is the player who ended up on the most teams owned by Rudy and me.

Joel Hanrahan – Member when you wouldn’t draft him last week because he wasn’t good in Spring Training?  Yeah, Hanrahanananananan has 3 saves and a zero ERA.

Charlie Morton – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 2 Ks.  He was in last week’s Buy and I do like him, but he also gave up 5 walks in this game.  Wildly effective can quickly become “Holy eff in the effhole what is Morton doing to my ratios?”

Alfonso Soriano – 2-for-3 with his 2nd homer in two days.  Guys and three girl readers, he’s been hitting well in April for a few years now.  Don’t act too school for cool about picking him up.

Randy Wells – 6 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  I actually liked him last year and he abused my trust pretty badly, but there’s a heart under this rugged, mustachioed exterior that has learned how to forgive.  I’d give Wells a chance in 14+ team leagues, but his WHIP tends to be high even though he doesn’t walk a whole lot of hitters.

Willie Bloomquist – Is Stephen Drew getting Pipp’d out?  1 HR and 3 SB already for Bloomquist.  Definitely unexpected from the Arizona bench in which the only thing supreme about it is it sounds like the Supreme Court (Bloomquist, Roberts — can they trade for Clete Thomas, Adam Kennedy or Jon Jay?).  This is probably self-evident but don’t touch Bloomquist unless you’re using a 12-team NL pole.

Milton Bradley – 3-for-4 and hitting third.  Sure, playing with Milton Bradley is unsafe for ages 12 and over, but batting third adds fantasy value.

Erik Bedard – 5 IP, 3 ER, 6 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Best thing I can say about this start is he walked away without injury.

Nelson Cruz – 2-for-3 and his 4th homer.  He’s going 40/20 if he can stay healthy, but that if has its own postal code.

Elvis Andrus – 1-for-4 and Elvis left the building for the first time since Michael Jackson died.  Yo, legends mourn legends.  If Andrus goes 10/40 this year, you’re gonna appreciate me ranking him about fifty spots before all other ‘perts.  Yeah, I love the Rangers offense.  Deal with it.

Derek Holland – 6 IP, 3 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  What I don’t love is Ranger pitchers (except Neftali — I ain’t mad at cha!).  Holland’s a decent enough flyer in deep leagues, but I’d be careful.

Jorge Posada – 1-for-3 with his third homer.  Posada’s agent, “I told you the DH was a good move!”

Ivan Nova – 6 IP, 3 ER, 7 baserunners, 3 Ks.  Whatevs, I wouldn’t touch him.

Jake Arrieta – 6 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks.  For now, I wouldn’t touch Arrieta outside of AL-Only leagues and, even there, I probably wouldn’t own him.  In 100 1/3 IP last year, he had a 4.66 K/9.  That was 11th worst in the league.  It can get better, but I’d prefer to see it happen before I go near him.

Jeremy Guthrie – Has pneumonia.  The p is silent as in pwhatever.

Ryan Theriot – 1-for-5 with his first steal.  Has made 2 errors this season and scouts aren’t enamored with his defense.  I never thought I’d say this but Brendan Ryan had a lot of fantasy baseball value last season.  For STL pitchers that is.  Carpenter, Garcia, and Westbrook are all ground ball pitchers.  Downgrading on SS defense would seemingly be the last thing you’d want to do.  Oh well, at least us fantasy baseballers get to enjoy Theriot’s mediocre offense.

Matt Holliday – He’s saying that he doesn’t need a DL trip and can return in a week.  He’s kinda sexy and I kinda love him.  Get well soon, Mr. Holliday!  That’s me filling out the card for the edible arrangement I’m sending him.  Don’t judge!

The top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball are a shallow bowl of dung and ranked only ahead of the catchers for depth.  All the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings can be found under that thing that says 2011 fantasy baseball rankings.  (Don’t worry, one of my New Year’s Resolutions is to link to things a little more seamlessly).  Shortstops usually get the short end of the stick when I’m drafting.  If I don’t get Hanley, I’ll probably just take a flier on some late round player.  Yes, I don’t even really want to mess with Tulo.  In leagues that play a middle infielder, then you might need two of these schmohawks.  Hopefully, you can grab two decent 2nd basemen and only need one of these guys.  As with the other top 20 rankings, I point out where I think tiers start and stop and my projections.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball:

1. Hanley Ramirez – In the top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball post is Hanley’s projections.

2. Troy Tulowitzki – In the top 10 for 2011 fantasy baseball post is Tulowitzki’s projections.

3. Jose Reyes – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Andrus.  I call this tier, “These are the last two shortstops you should draft for about eight rounds.”  I would not under any circumstances draft a shortstop between Andrus and Desmond unless they fall about six rounds after where I think they should be drafted.  As for Reyes, for those thinking Reyes had a poor 2010, consider he was the 3rd best shortstop on ESPN’s Player Rater.  Sure, that has its flaws, but who was better?  Jeter?  Alexei?  Elvis?  Reyes hit 11 homers and stole 30 bases last year.  Not to mention it was in only 133 games so if you filled him in halfway decently from your waiver wire, you had additional stats from his spot.  2011 Projections:  110/12/60/.290/40

4. Elvis Andrus – I already went over my Elvis Andrus fantasy for next year.  At 22 years old, he might be still come in under my projections, but he’s capable of a huge fantasy-defining season.  I’m willing to take the chance that it happens.  2011 Projections:  95/5/50/.270/45

5. Jimmy Rollins – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Furcal.  I call this tier, “Holy crap, the shortstops are really shallow.”  Seriously, Rollins is the 5th best shortstop?  Rollins has been getting progressively worse the last three seasons and I don’t think he’s suddenly going to turn things around at the age of 32.  Yeah, you really should punt at this point.  Look at Drew or others later on.  A few things on Rollins.  In 2006, Rollins had 15 infield hits.  That number has gone down every year.  His line drive rates have fallen every year since 2008.  His ground ball rate last year was a new career high.  His speed was at an all-time low last year for his career.  You know what happens when a guy gets older and hits the ball on the ground?  He gets thrown out at first.   2011 Projections:  85/14/65/.260/20

6. Derek Jeter – So I’ve been watching the first season of Friday Night Lights.  Great show.  I’d say SPOILER ALERT! but the show’s like seven years old.  Anyway, when Riggins was stealing Minka from Street, I kept imagining Street yelling, “So, Jeter, it’s okay to steal a cripple’s girlfriend, but you won’t fight a cripple?!”  Maybe it’s just me.  As for Jeter — eh, you know what you’re getting by this point.  Light power, some steals, good runs.  Plus, you can tell your lady friend that you drafted Jeter and watch how much tail you get.  Unless you live in Boston.  Then put on the Nomar jersey.  “I’m dating Charlene, Ma.  You gotta get used to it.”  I love Mark Wahlberg.  2011 Projections:  105/12/65/.280/15

7. Alexei Ramirez – Here’s one of those borderline guys.  If he hits 17-20 homers and steals 15 bases, you’re okay.  Shave just a few off either and you have a 15/12 guy, i.e., a guy that steals 2 bases and hits less than 3 homers per month.  That grows boring really fast during the course of the season.  I don’t mind trading for Alexei on May 1st, but his first month makes his overall stats look just a’ight.  BTW, we should have a glossary term for Latin players who don’t play well in the cold weather months.  2011 Projections:  80/17/70/.280/14

8. Rafael Furcal – Last year in only 97 games, he went 8/22, but I wouldn’t prorate that over a full season.  Seems to actually play better when he plays an abbreviated season.  Maybe because he’s 33 years old.  If you’re in a shallow enough league where you can readily replace him when he’s hurt, I’d consider drafting him.  In most leagues, I wouldn’t bother.  2011 Projections:  75/8/45/.280/17

9. Stephen Drew – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Escobar.  I call this tier, “Okay, grab one quick because they get ugly again real fast.”  (Note:  All projections in this tier are optimistic, but whatevs.)  Feels like we’ve been waiting forever for Drew’s big breakout.  At 28 years old in 2011, this is the year.  Or so my gut is telling me.  He had a solid 2nd half — 11 homers, .281 in 267 ABs and that’s about as much positivity I can muster.  He has so many major league ABs, he shouldn’t just explode for an incredible year, but I can’t help think he’s due.  Hey, I said it was a gut call more than anything.  His 2011 won’t be MVP-worthy, but it could be valuable and at shortstop you gotta take some upside fliers.  2011 Projections:  90/24/70/.275/7

10. Ian Desmond – Could be a cheap version of Alexei Ramirez.  I know, that sounds about as enticing as walking in on your grandparents having sex.  But if Desmond exceeds expectations and Alexei falls just short and if and but’s were dollar bills I’d be a millionaire.  Okay, Desmond’s an upside flier, just go with it.  2011 Projections:  80/15/70/.280/20

11. Alcides Escobar – I already hit you up with an Alcides Escobar fantasy sleeper thing-a-woozie.  2011 Projections:  70/3/40/.275/30

12.  Starlin Castro – This is a new tier.  This tier goes until Tejada.  I call this tier, “And they just got ugly again.”  I almost put Castro in the above tier, because he does have yute on his side.  In the end, I’m too worried Castro may get drafted as if he has this huge upside.  I’d lower my expectations with him.  He gets caught stealing way too much and he doesn’t have great power.  2011 Projections:  75/5/55/.305/12

13. Ryan Theriot – Wanna know the problem with the state of shortstops?  How about this:  Theriot was ranked 18th for 2nd basemen.  That about covers it.  Went over Theriot’s projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball post.

14. Cliff Pennington – What a butt ugly group we have here.  Pennington is basically Theriot with a few more steals and homers and a potentially terrible average.  Also, he looks good in plaid pants, if that’s a category in your league.  2011 Projections:  60/5/40/.245/30

14 1/2. Mike Aviles – Went over Aviles’ projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball post.  (Note:  Only has 13 games at shortstop so he got a half.)

15. Juan Uribe – Went over Juan Uribe’s projections in the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball.

16. Jhonny Peralta – Member the days when Jhonny and Khalil Greene would go around putting silent H’s in people’s names?  Charlos Lee got so mad!  Ah, yes, and I have nothing to say about Jhonny Peralta.  2011 Projections:  65/17/80/.255

17. Jason Bartlett – Went over my Bartlett fantasy when the Padres got him.  Go there to read the Bartlett blurb.  Or Blurblett, if you’re into portmanteaus.  2011 Projections:  80/5/55/.270/17

18. Yunel Escobar – Um… Well… Uh… Wait, why is he being ranked?  Oh, because he basically has the same projections as Mike Aviles.  Yeah, shortstops are bad this year.  Have I mentioned that before?  2011 Projections:  75/10/60/.290/7

19. Omar Infante – Infante’s 2010 reminds me of Zobrist’s 2009 on a much smaller scale.  Utility man makes good, news at 11.  I’m gonna move on before I bore us both any further.  2011 Projections:  65/5/40/.280/8 ( Note: Only has 19 games at shortstop.)

20. Miguel Tejada -  Somewhere Sabean is twirling his mustache thinking about how much he’d love to sign Bartlett in three years.  My Tejada projections are assuming he won’t start shooting up again.  2011 Projections:  65/13/75/.275/3

After the top 20 shortstops for 2011 fantasy baseball, there’s a bunch of names, but here’s two that stand out:

Reid Brignac – I just couldn’t end the top 20 shortstops with Miguel Tejada.  The Rays have to play Brignac, right?  I mean, they can’t let him just keep getting older and not give him a fair shake, can they?  Yeah, I don’t know.  If they give Brignac an everyday job, his fantasy value will drop him around 10th on this list.  Since it’s the shortstops, I’d throw a flier Brignac’s way with or without a job and hope you get lucky and he starts.  2011 Projections:  60/15/75/75/.260/7

Asdrubal Cabrera – Consider Asdrubal above Starlin Castro on this list, but I wanted to highlight him.  Gotta throw out 2010 with Asdrubal.  He got injured, can’t hold his bad year against him. Plus, a bad year is so amorphous, how are you gonna hold that against anyone?  At 25 years old, Asdrubal is still in his prime and can put together a decent season for a MIF — Middle Infielder Flier.  2011 Projections:  80/7/60/.295/20