Brandon Beachy left Saturday’s start with a sore elbow.  Usually when pitchers have a sore elbow it means one of two things.  One, they’re going on the DL for a long period of time.  Or two, they’re going to say they’re going on the DL for only 15 days but it will be a long time.  Yeah, those are kinda the same things, but it adds a little flare when I break them up into two things.  My English Comp professor would’ve said, “Grey, you add filler on top of your filler then you put commas where they’re not supposed to be then, add more filler.  Have you considered a math major?”  I told you to sell him about two weeks ago, but I understand how hard it is to sell an overperformer, so many of you were probably stuck with Beachy, or stranded, as the case may be.  I’d DL him and hope for better news heretothen.  Bee tee dubya, I just made up heretothen.  Pretty good, right?  Feel free to use it for the rest of twelve after twenty.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:

Kris Medlen – The Braves stretched out Medlen, then yo-yo’d all over the place with what he should and would be doing.  Fredi Gonzalez said, “I have enough problems to worry about since I can’t pitch Venters 400 innings this year.”  Now with Beachy’s injury, Medlen remains in the bullpen.  Yup.  Instead, the Braves are filling Beachy’s rotation spot with Jair Jurrjens.  Obviously, the Braves management threw a dart at a board to fill the rotation spot and said dart landed in a nearby toilet.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

I got the sense from comments and other non-scientific criteria that people were looking to get a feel for Trevor Bauer.  Or at least get their grubby little hands on him.  I did say to buy him back in April and again in May, but who can remember that far; I can barely remember how this sentence started.  With a preposition?  I don’t know, let’s forget the whole thing and have a pina colada!  What, you don’t like coladas?  How about dancing in the rain?  Not into YoGa?  Yeah, his ERA is shizz.  Let’s see what Scott, our prospect writer (his actual last name), said in the past about Bauer, “Bauer profiles as a top-of-the-rotation starter with an upper 90s fastball and a devastating curve.  But all I keep thinking about is what Grey would taste like slathered in teriyaki sauce.”  Huh?  Not sure how that slipped through my strict editorial process.  In the past, I said about Trevor, “Bauer & Skaggs opened for Big & Rich.”  Well, that wasn’t the best quote from me.  Shoot me!  Now, you just shot your computer screen.  You’re silly!  On our preseason top 25 fantasy baseball prospect post, the only pitchers above him were Moore and Darvish.  Okay, Moore’s had some struggles, but those two names give you an idea of how valuable Bauer could be.  He’s blown through the minors about as good as anyone.  Right now, he’s sporting a 11+ K-rate and a low-2 ERA between Double and Triple-A.  The only concern for him is his walk rate (over 4), but he has the Ks to make up for it.  He looks like the pitching version of the hitters the Diamondhacks are famous for.  High Ks, crazy upside, might call crap on a table a Pu-Pu platter.  In 2012, I’ll give him the line of 7-5/3.60/1.30/100 in 90 innings, but there’s obviously room for huge upside (and risk of some downside (though the Ks will be good (how many parentheses am I inside of here (Anyone?

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R.A. Dickey went seven and a third innings with no runs and eight Ks as he dueled Wang.  Dickey vs. Wang was the greatest sword fight since Steven Seagal and Jean-Claude Van Damme both arrived at the same tanning salon in the late 80′s.  In this game, surprisingly there weren’t that many dribblers through the vas deferns.  Streamers would have to wait until later in the day with Leake.  The game started with the Nats putting a giant zipper in the outfield for each pitcher’s entrance.  Then the knuckleballs came early and often and showed a polished Dickey.

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In 1992, the last time the Astros had a number one draft pick they skipped over Derek Jeter and drafted Phil Nevin.  As they say, the rest is history.  Or as an Astro fan says, “The rest never happened because I became a Texas Rangers fan.  Go Hamilton!”  This year the Astros weren’t letting it happen again.  With their number one pick, they selected 17-year-old shortstop, Carlos Correa.  To put this in fantasy perspective, the Astros took Ramon Castro 17th overall in 1994.

Please, blog, may I have some more?