Manny Machado put up his right hand yesterday to measure it against a hand drawing every clubhouse has posted on its wall. The drawing is of Mark Whiten’s hand that once held four baseballs in it. Four baseballs for the four homers he hit in one game. In the Padres’ clubhouse, this hand has been removed because it’s just a not-so-subtle reminder of what will never be. In the Indians’ clubhouse, the hand is made into a turkey to celebrate the first Thanksgiving. In the Astros’ clubhouse, the hand has been cut out and fashioned into a t-shirt for Altuve. Imagine if Donald Trump wins the presidency and throws out a first pitch. He may never make it to the field, too distracted in the clubhouse by measuring his hands against Whiten. Yesterday, Machado came a fingernail short of the hand, hitting three homers with seven RBIs. Now has 25 homers on the year with a .307 average. Terrific, stupendous, adjective! What’s more remarkable is he does not have one steal all year. Almost as crazy, he’s only attempted three. Did he have a knee transplant this offseason with McCutchen as the donor? Machado stole 20 bases last year. To go to none? Wow, his feet definitely don’t measure up to the Rickey Henderson foot drawings in each clubhouse. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Pittsburgh Pirates have been riding the clutch for the last six years and it seems the damage has been done. Now the clutch is slipping and there might be damage to the flywheel. Some people just don’t realize that it’s much cheaper to replace brake pads than it is to replace your clutch. Especially when your clutch was a first round draft pick.
Since 2011 Andrew McCutchen has been a top ten outfielder in points leagues. From 2012-2015 he was in the top five, scoring 499, 490, 471 and 465 points respectively. The wear and tear on the clutch can be seen in his decline in point production. This season he is on pace for a meager 298 points. Wait, that must be a typo right? Wrong! With 195 points so far McCutchen finds himself right between Yasmany Tomas (197) and Brad Miller (189), both of whom have had about 50 less plate appearances. This means they have both technically been more valuable with better points per plate appearance ratios. Essentially Andrew McCutchen has been useless in 2016. Perhaps even detrimental to your team considering the wasted early round pick. He has had just two weeks in which he scored more than 20 points and is averaging just 11 points per week. Jose Altuve scores 11 points per game! Okay, so that’s not an accurate statement, but has done so several times this season. So have many other hitters. Heck, a grand slam is 9 points with one swting! At this point there’s not really anything you can with McCutchen except put him on your bench. Given his history I would buy low on him, but it would have to be a legit buy low offer.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Stashed Orlando Arcia in a few of my deepest leagues back in March. What a waste. Well, 59 games left — guess that’s something. If he Lindors. No idea why he hadn’t been called up until now. Milwaukee’s 3rd base position has been bratwurst casings all year and Jonathan Villar plays shortstop like the guy who hacks the meat to fill those casings. Were the Brewers afraid Arcia would’ve been too confused by the fact Will Smith was white? Did they need to first move Jeffress due to language stipulations? “Wait until we trade Jeffress — he might hurt his tongue saying the R’s in Orlando Arcia’s name. Remember Higuera hit the DL when he yelled Robin Yount.” If the Brewers didn’t drag their heels worse than the kielbasa in the sausage race after he bet five-large on the chorizo, I would’ve had Arcia months ago! *takes deep breath* Okay, I’m good. So, what can we expect from Arcia? A little pop and solid speed — think Jean Segura or Villar over the course of the final two months. Yes, I’d grab him if I were hurting at shortstop. Speaking of hurting at shortstop (DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!), Trevor Story hit the DL with a torn UCL in his thumb, and will be out for the season. Colorado already has DL forms with SS written in. Just have to cross out Tulo for Story. Save that piece of paper for rolling! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Gerrit Cole‘s start yesterday — 9 IP, 1 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks, ERA at 2.78 — wasn’t the most impressive start. *walks around, shaking people out of their slumber* Hey, what’s going on, guys and five girl readers? Was it the opening sentence? Okay, so Gerrit Cole didn’t look as good as, say, Dylan Bundy over five innings. Cole looked solid, salt-of-the-earth, lumberjack-shirt-for-a-tablecloth-middle-class-sturdy-as-oak-workman-like for nine innings. By the way, you know what they call a hyena with lines instead of spots? Hyphena. Take it, Highlights, it’s yours. Do we have to have starters that are all lordy-me-I’m-fainting-with-a-handkerchief-to-my-forehead filled with upside? Well, I’d like it, and Cole prolly has it somewhere in there. *knocks on Cole’s chest* Is a near-9 K/9 in there still? Hello? Okay, I think it is, but it’s just not answering now. Maybe it’s taking a nap from Cole’s less-than-stellar K-rate. That’s been the story of his season, actually. Great results for real baseball, but a little lacking on the flash (7.5 K/9). He’s still throwing hard (95 MPH), maybe he fell asleep while Contact was on late-night TV and woke up deciding to throw to contact. Not sure, but if I had to bet, I’d bet every day on a 25-year-old who throws 95 returning to his previous flashy Ks while maintaining his excellent ERA results. But there’s nothing wrong with a lumberjack shirt for a tablecloth. It’s Murica! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
When you have to tell people your favorite team’s ace is a 31-year-old rookie, you kinda make a face like Arnold Schwarzenegger right there… It’s as uncomfortable as a dude getting pregnant! But for a rebuilding team, I guess nothing is inconceivable after all!
As an unabashed Brewers homer, and owner of the REL Brewers where I have to own a certain amount from my parent team, I’ve been a big follower of the Brew Crew beat, and there’s been buzz for Junior Guerra ever since we picked him up. I even brought him up on the Pod when he was promoted, much to Grey cackle-ment. I of course never saw anything like this coming though… I knew he had a fastball and a great splitter, but that splitter hasn’t been just “great”. It’s been the best splitter in baseball. His other stuff is pretty good, but he hit 98 MPH in his last start against the Pirates, and if he can throw gas like that, it’s going to make him a dynamic guy ROS. So I decided to double up on my Sunday afternoon baseball watching by breaking down Guerra’s start against the Cubs, while watching my Brewers like I would’ve anyway. Two birds one stone! Sue me! Here’s how he looked:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Zach Eflin tossed a complete game 3-hit shutout Friday night versus the Pirates, requiring just 100 pitches to go all the way and pick up the win. It was the rookie’s first career shut out. That’s what I’m Eflin talking about! I know what you’re thinking, I loved him in those High School Musicals, I wish he was my Neighbors. Wrong Zach. Both are real good though. After a rocky debut to his rookie season in Toronto (2.2 IP, 9 hits, 8 ER, 3 BB), Zach Eflin has been on the attack ever since, allowing just 11 runs in the seven starts since his debut (2.07 ERA in 47.2 IP). More impressive is that he has pitched at least six innings in six of those seven starts, including two complete games. Dude is a horse. And at just 22 years young I guess that would make him a dot dot dot Filly. Zing! Wait, or is it a mare? Foal? Joke still works or nah? On second thought I’m thinking it might be a colt. Hmm. Regardless, Zach is clearly a stallion. So how is it he’s available in over 80% of fantasy leagues? Are you Eflin kidding me? Sure, the 26/8 K/BB ratio is nothing to call the presses about, but his 1.05 WHIP is mighty impressive. Some of the advanced stats may suggest he’s due for a bit of a correction, but why not ride the Zach train while its Eflin hot. He’s coming off his best career start and gets the Marlins next week, so pick him up, what are you Eflin waiting for?
Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball Friday night:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Last Friday I presented my pitcher projections for the second half of the season. In said projections I concluded by predicting that Chris Sale would be the American League Cy Young Award winner. I put his final line at 227 IP, 23 W, 6 L, 231 K, 47 BBI, 186 HA, 82 ER. Sale certainly came out of the second half gates as if he had read my post. There was a rumor going around that both Sale and Dylan Bundy frequent Razzball. I have no proof, but it sounds logical to me. Speaking of Bundy, while it might not have been very impressive, he made his first Major League start this past Sunday. Despite only lasting 3.1 innings, there are still some positive takeaways. I’m not sure what his exact role in the Orioles’ rotation is going to be, but it seems he’s going to be groomed into becoming a full-time starter. It just might not be this year. I’d also like to point out that I expressed my interest in Bundy this season back in April. On April 13th I said I’d rather stash Dylan Bundy than own Byron Buxton. Then, one week later, I elaborated on my thoughts on Bundy. Those in leagues that allow SP in RP, should take an extra look at Dylan should he be available in your league.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Howdy Razzballero, and welcome to the second half of the MLB (and fantasy) season. Hopefully, you were all able to recharge the batteries a bit over the All Star break and prepare yourselves for the fantasy baseball stretch run. I enjoyed a random viewing of the movie Minority Report last week during the down time and, when looking at the reboot-happy nature of Hollywood these days with projects like the new Ghostbusters movie, it got me thinking about a fantasy themed reboot of the 2002 Stephen Spielberg film. It can be called Majority Report starring Grey in the Tom Cruise protagonist role where he can be credited as Ice Tumors or Crime Oust (because a Tom Cruise anagram as an alias to protect his alias somehow makes sense to me) and I could have a cameo role as one of the lesser precogs who is occasionally (but not usually) able to predict the future of the fantasy landscape. I haven’t figured out the plot yet, though it would probably involve Grey stalking Giancarlo for one reason or another. Ok, so it’s more of just an extremely lazy re-imagining than anything else, but last week would’ve been one of those rare scenes that my character was able to predict the transaction future of the fantasy baseball landscape. As of yesterday, the five most added players in ESPN leagues over the past seven days (Koji Uehara, Randal Grichuk, Brandon McCarthy, Hector Santiago, and Yangervis Solarte) as well as two out of the next four most added players (Anthony DeSclafani and Max Kepler) are ones that I discussed in my second half difference maker articles last week (the hitters can be found here while the pitchers can be found here). In short, if these players are still available in your league, add them!
Anyway, let’s move on to a few players who are more likely to still be sitting on the waiver wire, shall we? Here are a few other interesting adds/drops in fantasy baseball over the past week:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I figured out the best concoction for delivering fantasy baseball… First, go to liquor store and grab your consumption of choice. Next, convey your thoughts about fantasy bullpens to the masses in a cognitive and fluid way that makes sense to… the masses. Mission One: check, Mission Two: to be determined. This week, I wanna touch base on the neophyte in Seattle’s Edwin Diaz, the once highly-touted starting pitcher prospect that is now occupying the first chair in Seattle. He is sorta the new kid in class, and the trust level to let him borrow a Nintendo game just isn’t there yet. The stats will speak differently though. Check the rhythm of the rhyme I wrote and while I got a chance here, let me clear my throat. For the last month, he has been chipping away at the Benoit salad in Seattle’s pecking order. Well, now he is the goods by setting up a Cishek. Cishek in this case is Swahili for “not for long”. Over the last fortnight, he leads all of baseball in holds with 5, and his 20.57 K/9, which is basically unparalleled by anyone. Listen, Cishek has the job and he isn’t getting shipped anywhere while the Mariners are in a wildcard hunt. But isn’t it fun to own the guy who is sexy now before you start seeing kids in the mall all wearing him like he is the new Cavaricci? Diaz is his name and RP satisfaction is his game, green is his color… blue is the other. So hop on the good foot and add the sure thing. While you’re at it, check some other delectable sundries that I have in the shape of bullpens and their place in society…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Where do you hide your stash? Over the years I have used such hiding places as my original Nintendo Entertainment System (where you put the cartridge in), inside one of my Bauer ice hockey gloves (masks any odors) and in the back pocket of the pants of my homemade Cobra Kai outfit. However, the most important part about hiding your stash isn’t necessarily where you actually hide it, but instead, actually remembering where you hid it. And the key to remembering is based on your “state of mind” when you hid it. I’m pretty sure I just blew through my allotment of commas. If you’ve never spent hours searching for a stash, or stumbled upon a stash weeks later, you’re a better man than I. As for Grey, he hides his stache in plain sight, right on his face. That’s how cool he is!Please, blog, may I have some more?