Fantasy Baseball Advice

We continue our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.  There’s no 2nd baseman in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  At least by my calculation.  Some ‘perts are putting Cano in the top 10, but I see him just outside of the top 10, but then again 2nd base is packed to the rafters with production.  It looks deeper than the 1st basemen pool and I’m only being half-facetious.  It’s like all 2nd basemen slept at a Holiday Inn last night.  There’s 15 guys I would take and if I had a middle infield spot on my roster, I’d definitely look to put a 2nd baseman in there.  As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1. Robinson Cano – See the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Robinson Cano’s projections.

2. Ian Kinsler – See the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Ian Kinsler’s projections.

3. Dustin Pedroia – See the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball for Dustin Pedroia’s projections.

4. Dan Uggla – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Utley (or Cuddyer, if he has eligibility).  I call this tier, “I see good value.  Draft one.”  This tier name sounds like I’m a handicapper for horse races.  Gambler’s Ruin is great on mud, put all your money on him!   Member when Dan Uggla was hitting, like, .180 and it was July and you were like, “Screw this, homie!  I’m going gangster on my team and trading Uggla for an Obama Chia.”  Then your neighbor saw that getting dropped off at your doorstep, stole it and Uggla went on to hit in like 40 games straight.  Nothing ever works out for you, huh?  Now I’m Worried you left on the oven after drying your pantyhose.  (That Twitter feed is a friend’s.  You follow now, thank you.)  Uggla wasn’t quite the hitter we saw during his hitting streak (no kidding!) but he isn’t a sub-.200 hitter either.  Or is it eyether?  Let’s call this whole thing off!  Wait, he is a 35 homer hitter.  I’ll take that and a box of Ding Dongs!  And, no, box of Ding Dongs isn’t a new Timberlake/Samberg song.  (Yes, that’s two days and two ding dong jokes.  My cup runneth over with ding dong jokes.  I am the ding dongiest!)  2012 Projections:  90/35/105/.250/3

5. Howie Kendrick – Sometimes when you go out on a limb, the limb breaks and you fall on your ass.  That might happen with Kendrick in 2012, but I’m going all in.  From 2010 to 2011 in 18 less games, he went from 10 homers to 18 homers and struck out more.  His HR/FB rate was high and he’s injury-prone.  It points to flukey.  I see a guy with 15 homer power, 15 steal speed, 100 runs and 75 RBIs potential that should hit around .290.  It’s okay, but what puts me over on him is he’s in the prime of his career so he should max out his power and look like Pedroia at a cheaper cost.  Oh, and one thing that’s been criminally under-reported, the Angels added Pujols.  You think someone would’ve talked about that.  2012 Projections:  100/18/70/.290/15

6. Brandon Phillips – Joey Votto’s gonna win the MVP and Brandon Phillips is going to be hoisted onto Jay Bruce’s shoulders next October with the team dedicating their World Series victory to their former pitching coach, Dick Pole.  Just so they can see people on Twitter snicker at his mention.  That’s how I see things playing out.  Phillips won’t be their regular season hero; he’ll be a piece.  The wily vet that plays 150 games a year and gets all those counting stats and has some power and speed that people credit more for their clubhouse leadership.  Whatever, B.P. is still greasing up some decent stats for his position.  2012 Projections:  90/20/85/.275/17

7. Chase Utley – Nah, he’s not winning the MVP again.  Well, I guess anything’s possible if he’s wearing one of Ryan Braun’s Ed Hardy t-shirts, but it seems like the best is behind him like J. Lo.  Then throw in you have no idea how long Ryan Howard is going to be out, then throw in Utley’s inability to stay healthy, then throw in his pomade, then throw in a leprechaun’s toenail and the steam that rises from the brew you threw all that in reads, “Utley should be avoided.”  Now what if I said I didn’t agree?  He’s never had a season of 120+ games where he’s been useless.  Granted, getting to 120 games has been an issue, but we knew going into last year he wasn’t going to be right.  When he did come back, his speed was fine.  Like he was never hurt.  His power was off, but so was his homers per fly ball.  His average was off, but so was his luck.  He’s going to get you 2nd to 3rd round numbers at a much cheaper price than he usually is.  BTW, if he’s bad this year, his career’s in trouble.  I think he knows that too.  2012 Projections:  80/20/85/.280/15

7 1/4. Michael Young – Only has 14 games at 2nd so he may not have eligibility in all leagues.  To see Young’s projections go to the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.

7 1/2. Michael Cuddyer – Only has 17 games at 2nd base, so he gets a half ranking.  To see Cuddyer’s projections go to the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.

8. Ben Zobrist – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Weeks.  I call this tier, “Others are taking these guys before me.”  I really don’t like Zobrist.  His stats are just too flaky for my tastes.  One year he hits .297 then .238 then .269.  Then he hits 27 homers then 10 then 20.  “Hey, fella, how about you just hit 17 homers and stop confusing Grey?!”  That’s you in the first row behind the Rays’ dugout because you’re protecting my honor.  Thx, btw!  (Don’t you love when someone abbreviates thanks as thx?  Gee, thanks so much for showing me your appreciation by almost writing a WHOLE SIX LETTER WORD!)  I’m ranking Zobrist later than most ‘perts because I don’t want him, but if he fell to me I would take him because he seems like he’s capable of a 15/15 season.  Plus or minus 15 homers and steals.  Yeah, he’s all over the map.  2012 Projections:  75/17/90/.255/17

9. Rickie Weeks – Stop me if you’ve heard this before– Stop!  I haven’t said anything yet, Random Italicized Voice.  I’ve heard, “Stop me if you’ve heard this before” before.  Here’s the games played for Weeks over his career — 96, 95, 118, 129, 37, 160, 118.  Throw out 37 and 160 and on average he plays in 118 games.  Or maybe that’s the median.  Or the mean.  I don’t know.  What I do know is he can’t stay healthy.  He can repeat his power output from last year and chuck in about 10 steals if he’s healthy, but that “if” is the size of Gilbert Grape’s mom.  2012 Projections:  65/18/50/.260/10

10. Danny Espinosa – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Kelly Johnson.  I call this tier, “Shine’s off these guys, but I like them.  Even if they might hit .240 collectively.”  At 24 years old, Espinosa hit 21 homers and stole 17 bases.  That’s the good news.  The very good news is he can hit more homers and steal more bases.  The so-so news is it might not be much more of either.  The bad news is he hit .236.  The not good or not bad news is his luck was neutral.  The “Is this really even news anymore?” news is Espinosa won’t ever hit for much of an average without luck.  The last bit of news is I’m not wearing pants.  2012 Projections:  80/24/90/.240/19

11. Aaron Hill – Here’s what I said towards the end of last year, “Hill looked to be an average issue hitter that could at least give you power.  Not this year.  His power completely evaporated.  Oddly enough, he doubled his line drive rate from 2010 and lowered his K-rate.  In short (which I only say after going long), Hill’s season made no sense.  Seriously, I can’t make heads or tails of it.  Yes, even in hindsight it’s not 20/20.  It will take some brass ones to go all in on Hill again next year, but I’m leaning that way right now.”  And that’s me quoting me!  Now, looking at Hill, I’m still no cyclops with a monocle.  What we do know is he hit .315 in Arizona in the 33 games after he was traded.  It’s something!  I don’t get where those 21 steals came from last year, but if it was some kind of deal with the devil, he forgot to specify to leave his power alone and the devil duped him.  You duping devil!  2012 Projections:  70/18/80/.265/15

12. Kelly Johnson – After a trade that sent Hill to the D-Backs and Johnson to the Jays, these two will be forever linked.  Or just for right now in the rankings.  Either way, let’s pretend we’re in the first semester of our junior year of high school and we’re taking the SATs.  The final question will send you to either Brown or nowhere because you refuse to have a safety school.  Question:  In 2008, Kelly Johnson hit .287.  In 2009, he hit .224.  In 2010, he hit .284.  In 2011, he hit .222.  What will he hit in 2012?  You know the answer; Brown’s within reach!  You say he’ll hit around .280 and… You’re wrong.  You then go on a 15-month bender that finds you waiting tables on an over-60 cruise ship and making out with grandmothers.  His good/bad alternating averages don’t mean anything, except it does tell us it’s not out of the realm of possibility for Johnson to hit something respectable.  2012 Projections:  80/20/70/.265/14

13. Jason Kipnis – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Ackley.  I call this tier, “Sleepers or guys that are overdrafted depending on how smart your leaguemates think they are.”  What I mean by the tier name is in leagues with people who prep the day before and just fly by the seat of their pants, this tier probably won’t be that known unless you’re in Cleveland, Seattle or Oakland.  In leagues where owners started prepping last November, there’s giant flashing lights on this tier’s players to the point where people will probably reach for them way too early.  As for Jason Kipnis, I already went over my Kipnis 2012 fantasy.  I wrote it enclosed with a giant heart on a bathroom stall.  2012 Projections:  80/14/60/.255/12

14. Jemile Weeks – Member when 2nd base was a speed position?  Was before Bret Boone started frosting his hair.  All of these 2nd basemen that are on the scene today probably idolized Boone and his frosted tips.  They probably even went as far to emulate him and frosted their hair too.  When Jemile frosted his hair, his classmates probably called him Sisqo, which is downright embarrassing, so he decided to rebel against the power 2nd baseman and work on his speed.  Or not.  Simply a theory.  Weeks reminds me a bit of Luis Castillo.  That takes some air out of your Jemile Weeks balloon, huh?  Hey, Castillo had some good years.  2012 Projections:  90/3/50/.265/30

15. Dustin Ackley – I’m having a real hard time understanding the hype on Ackley.  To the point where I’m not drafting him unless he falls pretty far.  He’s never hit more than 9 homers at any level of professional ball or stole more than 8 bases.  Granted, these were abbreviated seasons, but he’s also going to be playing his home games in a terrible hitting park.  I’m gonna let someone else take the chance that he shows his ceiling of 15 homers and 15 steals while expecting he shows something closer to… 2012 Projections:  80/12/55/.265/12

16. Ryan Roberts – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Beckham.  I call this tier, “Post-hype and no hype guys.  I guess I’ll draft them, but they’d have to be super cheap.”  Ryan Roberts reads to me like a Ryan Ludwick/Casey McGehee-type.  Never considered much of anything, then they explode on the scene at a late age, then they return to Back To Wherever You Came From-ville (which has higher real estate prices than I’m So Outta Here-ville cause of the influx of has-beens).  There should be a glossary term for these type of no hype players that only have one good year.  Suggest in the comments.  2012 Projections:  55/13/65/.245/15

17. Neil Walker – This guy isn’t far off from Ryan Roberts.  They’re pretty much flip-floppable (Made Up Word of the Day!).  But since Roberts just came off a better season, I put them in this order.  Could see Walker outperforming him in 2012, but not by much since Walker doesn’t have huge power or speed.  Not that Roberts does either… Whatever, I don’t like either, stop arguing with me!  2012 Projections:  70/12/80/.270/7

18. Gordon Beckham – Something that hasn’t been reported (or at least by me) is:  Could Ozzie leaving town have a positive impact on some White Sox players?  You know, the guys that he used to ball-bust.  I wouldn’t be shocked if Beckham comes around as a post-hype sleeper just to prove Ozzie wrong.  Am I betting a whole lot that that (stutterer!) is gonna happen?  Oh, hells no!  Beckham just came off a season where 21% of all of his fly balls were infield pop-ups.  That’s terrible.  In my opinion (and, really, if you don’t want my opinion, you’re probably reading the wrong site), a hitter can’t make worst contact than an infield pop.  By drafting Beckham, you’re basically saying that his last two years were a fluke and he’s going to fix everything.  Put the chances of that happening in one hand and the chances of it not happening in the other hand and you have two empty hands.  Can’t really weigh chances.  Maybe you shouldn’t have quit college to become a scale.  2012 Projections:  55/14/70/.260/5

19. Ryan Raburn – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Roberts.  I call this tier, “Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice and shame on you again.  I’m good at displacing blame.”  Bill James still believes.  He has Raburn’s 2012 projections down for 18/4.  Last year was the chance for Raburn to become relevant.  He’s going to be 31 years old for the majority of the 2012 season.  I got better things to do than draft a 31-year-old player who has never shown much of anything.  Not to mention, there’s been talk of him blahtooning with Ramon Santiago.  That’s nice, have fun!  2012 Projections:  40/12/50/.275/3

20. Brian Roberts – I’m sure Brian Roberts never thought he’d be passed on the rankings by a name that people used to mistakenly call him.  Here’s the world’s smallest violin.  Here’s me putting the world’s smallest violin on eBay.  Here’s someone Buying It Now for one cent and playing it just for Brian Roberts.  2012 Projections:  65/5/35/.260/12

After the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but these stand out, for better or worse:

Daniel Murphy – I left him off the top 20 1st basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball and that top 20 went to, like, 30.  Honestly, seriously, Cliff Lee, I can’t imagine drafting Murphy anywhere.  If he hits in the beginning of the year, you can pick him off waivers in most leagues as a hot schmotato.  2012 Projections:  75/12/60/.275/5

Sean Rodriguez – I almost feel the same way about Sean-Rod as I do with Raburn.  Go reread Raburn’s blurb in the passive voice.  The one positive on Sean-Rod that Raburn lacks is age.  Sean-Rod will only be 27 this April.  If there’s no one left on the board, I’d take the flyer and hope Sean-Rod does something.  His K-rate tells me he probably won’t.  2012 Projections:  55/14/65/.230/10

Jose Altuve – I haven’t written a Jose Altuve sleeper post yet, but my Magic Eight Ball says, “There’s a chance you write a sleeper post on Jose Altuve.”  When I bought this Magic Eight Ball in 1989, I never understood why it kept saying that.  In the minors, Altuve showed he could get to double digit power and low 20′s steal-speed.  I’ve seen worse.  You feel me?!  If you do, could you stop?  I hate looking at Astros hitters for anything other than which pitchers to stream against them, but Altuve looks like he could have some sneaky value.  Now to figure out why my Magic Eight Ball keeps telling me to write a sleeper post for Ken Griffey Jr. Jr. Jr.  2012 Projections:  80/12/40/.265/24 (<–crazy optimistic, but whatevs)

As you probably know, we just went over the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball and today we give you… Hint:  it’s in the title of the post.  Oh, forget it.  Here’s our top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  And by our top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball, I mean mine, but ‘our’ sounds more official.  Like when your girlfriend catches you cheating on her and she says let’s make our breakup official and then kicks you in the balls.  The second round is the hardest to peg.  That’s just the facts of life, Blair.  There’s no way around it.  I have a theory why this is, maybe it’s fodder for its own post, but here goes the short version.  In the first round, it’s no-brainers.  In the second round, you have to complement the first guy and you want a sure thing because it’s still way too early to reach.  Also, there’s just more question marks.  Next we’ll go over the top 20 catchers for 2012 fantasy baseball then top 20 1st basemen and so on and so forth as we do onto our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings as you would want them done onto you. In the top 10, I battled with maybe one or two spots, but this top 20 that I gave birth to was a true labor of love that required a C-section as I battled with myself on just about every spot. I’m pleased with what I settled on, but I could see an argument made to reshuffle some of these players. As always, tiers are mentioned and my 2012 fantasy baseball projections. Anyway, here’s the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball:

11. Robinson Cano – This tier started in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  This tier ends at Ellsbury.  I call this tier, “Less exciting than the next tier, but more consistent.”  I really want to despise every Yankee player like everyone else outside of New York, northern New Jersey and the retirement homes of Florida, but Cano makes it hard to dislike him.  I guess, when people call him Robbie Cano, you can picture an 80′s movie bully in an Izod shirt and want to do something to him that would elicit a slow clap.  “Robbie Cano, you are not going to tell me where I can sit in the outdoor cafeteria!”  That’s you standing up to Robbie Cano at lunch.  Didn’t you always wish you had an outside cafeteria like in Can’t Buy Me Love?  Maybe it was just me.  Players don’t come much more consistent than Cano.  Pencil him in for .315, 27 homers and 100 runs and RBIs, then erase the .315 and make it .310.  Aren’t you glad you didn’t use pen?  2012 Projections:  105/27/105/.310/5

12. Jacoby Ellsbury – I surprised myself when I landed on this ranking for Ellsbury.  Like I snuck of behind myself and screamed “Boo” then added snuck into the dictionary so when I looked it up it was there and surprised myself again.  Steals can be found later in drafts.  SAGNOF!  But they can’t be found so readily with 20 homers and a .300 average.  No, not 30 homers.  That was an anomaly of an aberration on the ain’t-happening-again tip.  A moment in time that can only be described as the ceiling of the Sistine Chapel touching Ellsbury’s bat.  Or maybe you can describe it differently.  Your call.  I see a few people ranking Ellsbury even higher than this, but I wouldn’t cry if I miss out on him.  Again, SAGNOF!  How did I finally conclude he should be ranked here?  I rank Reyes a couple of slots below him and Ellsbury will hit more homers.  Sure, Reyes has shortstop eligibility, but high-production outfielders aren’t exactly growing on trees, unless that was the point of The Tree of Life.  I have no idea.  2012 Projections:  110/17/70/.295/45

13. Ian Kinsler – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until CarGo.  I call this tier, “These guys could win the MVP or frustrate the shizz out of you.”  Everyone in the first and second round seems like guarantees right now.  If it were only that easy.  There will be disappointments.  I have a feeling a disappointment or two might come out of this tier because of injuries, but, as of right now, that’s just a guessing game.  Anyway, Kinsler’s BABIP last year was low, his K-rate improved, great home park, lineup protection, power is repeatable, the same for his speed… So where’s the downside?  The Rangers are a walking MASH unit and Kinsler is Hawkeye.  Last year he had 723 PAs.  That’s more PAs than James Cameron used on his last film.  There’s not a chance Kinsler sees that many PAs again.  That was a lot for even a healthy player.  Kinsler loses five homers and steals if he only gets one little bruise or bump.  Ron Washington, “Did someone say bump?”  2012 Projections:  100/25/70/.260/25

14. Jose Reyes – I almost ranked Dustin Pedroia here.  Then I thought about how Pedroia doesn’t feel like a guy that is gonna be on a championship fantasy team.  I’m sure some of youse have won with Pedroia, but his stats feel more like a guy whose numbers you luck into off waivers that end up propelling you to a championship.  I’m just a hater drinking Haterade that’s loaded with Vitamin D to enrich and fortify my haterness.  As for Reyes, he does feel like a guy that will win you a league.  Reyes gets on his up-jump-the-boogie and he carries you for a month or two at a time.  Reyes can get gully.  Can Pedroia?  I guess, but I want someone who can do something miraculous.  Like steal 50+ bases.  Also, I went over my Jose Reyes 2012 fantasy when he first signed with the Marlins.  I wrote it while teaching my neighbor how to Dougie.  2012 Projections:  110/12/50/.295/45

15. Hanley Ramirez – Manny showed how insouciance (Word of the Day!) goes from cute to tiresome as a player ages.  Hanley’s not that old yet.  Even if we’re to assume he’s a Latin 28, he still has a few years left in his tank.  Maybe the Marlins can hire Dolvett from The Biggest Loser to get Hanley to care.  “How am I supposed to give one hundred percent in the workouts when all I want to do is take a nap because of the tryptophan from the Jennie-O turkey?”  That would be me on The Biggest Loser.  If Hanley is motivated, he wins the MVP with him and his new right hand man, Jose Reyes, doing a highly-choreographed, five minute handshake every couple of innings.  2012 Projections:  90/20/105/.305/25

16. Carlos Gonzalez – Another guy that could win the MVP or be a bigger bust than Billy Butler’s (guess that’s why I titled this tier what I did).  The risk is again the health.  There’s one positive that can be taken away from CarGo’s 2011.  His walk and K-rate both improved.  His plate discipline didn’t exactly become Gandhi-like, but any improvement is a step in the right direction.  It wouldn’t shock me to see CarGo and Tulo carry the Rockies to a walk in the NL West.  Also wouldn’t shock me to see them both out by May.  There lies the rub, which would be a good name for a massage parlor.  2012 Projections:  100/25/100/.300/18

17. Andrew McCutchen – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here until Pedroia.  I call this tier, “Two guys I’m trying to draft everywhere and two guys I probably won’t draft.”  McCutchen can make a run at the 1st round for 2013 if he can fulfill expectations.  Would be the first time we see a Pirate in the first round of a fantasy draft since when?  Barry Bonds when he still wore a size 7 ball cap?  Eh, we’ll save that Pirate reach around for next year.  The Dread Pirate will post the same numbers as CarGo minus some average and is capable of numbers that approach Ellsbury’s 2011.  I can’t express to you how much I like The Dread Pirate this year other than telling you my failings at being able to express my Dread Pirate love.  He’s entering his prime with 30+ steal speed and 20+ homer power.  Now you likey too; thank you.  2012 Projections:  95/25/100/.275/30

18. Mike Stanton – I strongly considered putting Stanton in the Kinsler tier.  Speaking of strongly, I looked at that word for a few minutes (okay, maybe a half hour) and I thought about how strong Stanton is.  Then that took me to the site that measures homers expecting to find Stanton at the top of a list.  I wasn’t disappointed.  No one hit more “No Doubt” homers in the NL than Stanton and he was only 2nd in the majors to Jose Bautista.  Since the high left field wall will be no more in the new Miami ballpark, it could mean even more laser shots for Stanton.  Also, “down the right field line” is coming in ten feet in the new stadium so the opposite field shots that were already easy, just got easier.  I don’t giddy for many players (I’m hard, yo!), but Stanton’s a beast and I’m his beauty.  Or some other mixed up metaphor.  2012 Projections:  100/37/115/.260/7

19. Roy Halladay – I’m very hesitant to draft a pitcher in the 2nd round.  In fact, I really can’t imagine it happens.  I have Kinsler, McCutchen, Stanton, Fielder, etc. etc. etc. so much higher than most people that I’m gonna be drafting one of them instead of Halladay.  I only get one pick every 10 or so in a snake draft.  In auction leagues, I try not to go over $29, so I’m not getting a whole lot of these players anyway.  (I’ll go over snake and auction draft strategy in due time.)  If there was one pitcher I’d take in the 2nd round?  Roy G. Biv Devoe, now you know.  Yo, slick, blow.  2012 Projections:  20-7/2.50/1.05/215

20. Dustin Pedroia – He’s consistent.  Has spunk.  Needs to wear a cone so he doesn’t chew his foot.  He feels a lot more to me like an early 3rd rounder than a late 2nd rounder.  Last year he needed 731 plate appearances to get a 21/26 season.  If he hits 18 homers, we’re not even having a discussion about whether he’s a 2nd rounder or a 3rd rounder.  He’s an 18/20 player.  Can that be more?  Sure, he just had a season where he gave more.  The thing that has me feeling janky is it can also be less.  If it’s only a tad less, he’s not even a 3rd rounder.  I hate that we need his ceiling to justify his ranking, so I’m hoping someone else takes him.  Actually, I’m almost positive someone else will.  2012 Projections:  105/18/80/.295/20

After the top 20 for 2012 fantasy baseball, there’s lots of players, but these two stand out as guys to NOT draft:

Mark Teixeira – Te(i)x has stopped hitting for an average.  It doesn’t look like it’s coming back any time soon.  His average last year .248 looks like the bottom, but I really thought his 2010 average of .256 was the bottom, so I guess anything’s possible.  In 2012, I think this is the last time we see Te(i)x anywhere near the top 20.  Will he totally collapse as he pulls a 2011 Youuuuuk?  Probably not.  The one thing that I think will stave off the ugly is the power is still there in a much bigger way than it ever was with Youuuuuk.  Also, his park/lineup won’t let him be totally awful, then again Youuuuk’s park and lineup weren’t bad.  I don’t want Te(i)x for one big reason.  How much different is he than Konerko?  Some more runs for Te(i)x, some more average for Konerko, rest is pretty similar.  Things that make you go hmm…. 2012 Projections:  100/35/110/.260

Curtis Granderson – He’s the greatest outfielder known to man.  Even some women think he’s wonderful.  What I don’t understand is why was it that I liked him in the preseason last year and still only ranked him 88th overall?  On average, people drafted him 92nd overall last year.  Because he had a career year he’s suddenly a top twenty player?  He’s gonna be 31 years old and could hit .240.  His home runs were off the charts last year.  His counting stats were cray cray.  Rollins’s 139 runs in 2007 were the last time anyone came close to Grandy’s 136 runs from last year.  Wanna put money on it that he doesn’t score over 110 runs?  For those who think it’s a slam dunk in that lineup and ballpark, he only scored 76 runs in 2010.  He only had 67 RBIs in 2010.  A guy who can hit .240 could go through month-long dry spells where he gets dropped in the order.  If you draft Grandy in the 2nd round, you’re like a lamb led to the slaughter.  Grandy’s mother, brother, grandmother hate me in that order.  2012 Projections: 100/29/90/.255/18

We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball.  Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen.  The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or less of equal depth.  For instance, Darwin Barney was ranked 20th for 2nd basemen and 19th for shortstops, and Daniel Murphy was ranked 15th for 2nd basemen and 16th for 3rd basemen.  To recap, this final ranking for last year is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1. Dustin Pedroia – It didn’t hurt Pedroia that the Sawx were in the hunt for a playoff spot until the very end of September.  Lot better than guys who are coasting through the last two weeks.  Pedroia actually didn’t exceed expectations by as much as his stats would seem.  What he did was get more PAs than were on the last Michael Bay film.  When a player exceeds 700 plate appearances, he’s bound to put up some good stats, unless his name is Nick Markakis.  Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections:  105/15/65/.290/15, Final Numbers:  102/21/91/.307/26

2. Robinson Cano – The curious case of Robinson Cano.  In the preseason, I said he was overrated, yet I gave him projections pretty close to where he ended up.  So was I right and he was overrated?  I’m gonna say no.  He wasn’t quite the 1st round pick that some people were making him, but considering how terrible most high picks did and how shallow 2nd base is, Cano provided stability and stats.  Preseason Rank #1, 2011 Projections:  100/27/100/.310/3, Final Numbers:  104/28/118/.302/8

3. Ian Kinsler – In the preseason, I ranked Kinsler above where most ‘perts had him.  I wanted to believe he could stay healthy one of these years.  Bingo bango!  Preseason Rank #2, 2011 Projections:  85/22/60/.270/17, Final Numbers:  121/32/77/.255/30

4. Michael Young – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 post.

5. Brandon Phillips – He seems like he’s always planking on a 18/14 season give or take a few homers and steals.  His average was high for him this year.  That was partly due to his line drive rate being up, partly due to his luck.  Maybe The Ghost of a Racist Marge Schott was trying to make amends by helping some of his seeing-eye hits get through.  Preseason Rank #3, 2011 Projections:  85/20/70/.270/17, Final Numbers:  94/18/82/.300/14

6. Ben Zobrist – He had three big months (April, July and September) and three terrible months.  Like off the charts bad (June:  zero homers and 2 steals; August:  1 homer, .250; May:  2 homers, 0 steals, .232 and only 5 RBIs in 99 ABs; that’s e to the gregious).  I never feel confident enough to draft Zobrist because he still seems like an overachieving utility man to me, but as Zobrist would say, “Don’t call me a utility man and don’t call Creed Christian rock.”  Preseason Rank #8, 2011 Projections:  70/15/70/.260/15, Final Numbers:  99/20/91/.269/19

7. Howie Kendrick – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 post.

8. Michael Cuddyer – Went over him in the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 post.

9. Ryan Roberts – First time in a long time that I can remember the first out of nowhere name being this low on a year end list of 2nd basemen.  Usually someone will sneak into the top 5 for a shallow position.  Last year, Kelly Johnson and Casey McGehee exceeded expectations.  The year before Zobrist and Aaron Hill emerged.  I’m not sure what this means, but I think it means something.  Razzball:  Where We Raise Questions We Can’t Answer!  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  86/19/65/.249/18

10. Dan Uggla – When I explained in the preseason why I had Uggla a bit lower than some other ‘perts, here’s what I said, “The reason why he’s ranked below some of the guys above but his projections look as good if not better is because A) Kinsler has the biggest upside.  B) Phillips and Pedroia are safer.  C) Uggla has the biggest downside in one category, i.e. he could hit .240.”  And that’s me quoting me!  In the end, he didn’t quite get to .240.  Yup.  Preseason Rank #5, 2011 Projections:  90/32/100/.265/5, Final Numbers:  88/36/82/.233/1

11. Neil Walker – Couple of things come to mind when I see how close my preseason projections were to the final numbers for Neil Walker.  A) I ranked him lower than he ended up, which means 2nd base was even shallower than I thought it would be.  B) His numbers were terrible and he still ranked this high, which is more just a continuation of the first point.  C) There’s no C.  Preseason Rank #15, 2011 Projections:  65/15/75/.260/7, Final Numbers:  76/12/83/.273/9

12. Rickie Weeks – In the preseason, I called Rickie Weeks overrated because of his injury risk.  As I said then and will say again, it was the easiest call of the preseason.  Preseason Rank #6, 2011 Projections:  85/18/65/.250/14, Final Numbers:  77/20/49/.269/9

13. Danny Espinosa – I pushed Espinosa pretty hard in the preseason because, as always, I ignore average and get all pumped up on power and speed.  He succeeded and failed where I thought he would.  Preseason Rank #21, 2011 Projections:  60/15/70/.245/17, Final Numbers:  72/21/66/.236/17

14. Jemile Weeks – Will probably be overdrafted next year.  I say this because he hasn’t shown any power, he plays in a terrible park with a terrible team and his walk rate (in the majors, at least) was pretty bleh.  With all that said (here comes opposite talk!), he had a great season for a midseason call-up.  He gave you what you were hoping to get from Chone Figgins (Member him?  No, I don’t either.).  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  50/2/36/.303/22

15. Daniel Murphy – How kiddie pool shallow were the 2nd basemen?  Murphy ranked this high and he played his last game on August 7th.  Three ladies and gentlemen, your 2011 2nd basemen!  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  49/6/49/.320/5

16. Kelly Johnson – He seems to alternate years with a hard-to-digest average.  (In 2009, it was .224.)  This coincides with a poor BABIP.  This year’s BABIP wasn’t as bad as 2009, but his K-rate was terrible, which helped attribute to the poor average.  He should be able to bounce back next year, but that’s far from a lock.  Preseason Rank #13, 2011 Projections:  80/17/.260/60/12, Final Numbers:  75/21/58/.222/16

17. Aaron Hill – Fitting that Hill and Johnson would be tied together in the year-end rankings, since they were swapped mid-year and had very similar seasons in the general sense.  In the specific, their seasons were totally different.  Hill looked to be an average issue hitter that could at least give you power.  Not this year.  His power completely evaporated.  Oddly enough, he doubled his line drive rate from 2010 and lowered his K-rate.  In short (which I only say after going long), Hill’s season made no sense.  Seriously, I can’t make heads or tails of it.  Yes, even in hindsight it’s not 20/20.  It will take some brass ones to go all in on Hill again next year, but I’m leaning that way right now.  Preseason Rank #7, 2011 Projections:  80/25/85/.275/5, Final Numbers:  61/8/61/.246/21

18. Martin Prado – During the preseason, I ranked him extremely low at 17th overall for 2nd basemen.  This was such blasphemy, Matthew Berry called me out during one of his chats to say I was stoopid (sic).  Turned out I didn’t rank him low enough, with rank being the key word.  Preseason Rank #17, 2011 Projections:  85/12/60/.300/5, Final Numbers:  66/13/57/.260/4

19. Chase Utley – Sadly, the Utley we fell in love with in 2005 is no longer with us.  This new version is brittle like his pomade after it dries.  On a side note, with the loss of Howard for most if not all of 2012 and Utley’s deteriorating health, the Phils got weak fast.  Preseason Rank #4, 2011 Projections:  50/14/55/.280/5, Final Numbers:  54/11/44/.259/14

20. Darwin Barney – I didn’t rank him in the preseason and he shouldn’t even be ranked now.  The Purple Evolutionist’s final numbers show a guy that was helpful for a couple weeks here and there, but if you owned him all year, you lost your league.  Preseason Unranked, Final Numbers:  66/2/43/.276/9

Scott Rolen is out for the season.  It’s time to go gorilla!  I don’t even know what that means.  Random Italicized Voice, no one knows what it means, but it’s provocative!  If you got some risk to burn in deeper leagues at corner infidel, get in on Juan Francisco.  I talked a bit yesterday about how I’m gonna go caca-cuckoo on Francisco next year if he has a starting job.  I’m gonna be like a cyclops wearing a monocle.  Why a cyclops wearing a monocle?  Good question.  A cyclops only has one eye so it’s particularly sharp.  Like how a blind person’s hearing is enhanced.  So you put a monocle on a cyclops and you have creature that sees everything.  That’ll be me.  BTW, Yonder and Francisco have complementary hat tilts.  Just something I thought you should know.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Logan Morrison – Could return on Thursday after being diagnosed with patella tendinitis.  Oh, wait, is Patella the doctor’s name?

Alexi Ogando – Rangers are considering moving Ogando to the bullpen.  Earth to the Rangers, come in Rangers.  Considering?  He should’ve been moved two months ago.  Check yo’ self, before you wreck yo’ self… Too many innings is bad for his health.

Nelson Cruz – Activated from the DL, but will be used as a pinch-hitter initially.  Belch.

David Murphy – Hit two homers as I benched him on my fantasy teams for Cruz because I thought that’s what Washington would do.  Belch, fart.

Jim Johnson – He’s now converted back-to-back-to-back saves with the Teflon Closer, Gregg, on the sidelines.  Meanwhile, Gregg blew his only save opp in the last week.  If you need saves, Johnson’s the way to go.  As for a strange but true fact, Jim Johnson is from Johnson City, NY.  Kevin Gregg isn’t from Crap City, NY.

Matt Wieters – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer in as many games.  Now has 19 homers and 61 RBIs while batting .260.  If he takes a step forward next year, he could be a top three catcher.

Jeff Karstens – 4 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  Karstens obviously needs Jack Hannahan and his monkeys.

Derrek Lee – 2-for-4 with a homer.  I haven’t seen any consistent streaks from this schmohawk this year.  Hits a homer or two then goes into a two week “I’m old.  My back’s sore.  Somebody call a wambulance” free fall.

Zack Greinke – 5 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 9 Ks.  I think the Brewers win it all.  As I said back in March.

Justin Morneau – Still feeling concussion symptoms and doesn’t think he’ll return this year.  That’s his concussion concession speech.

Mike Minor – 5 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners (4 BBs), 5 Ks.  Ugh, so inefficient.  Pretty disappointing stuff from Minor this year.  I know, I know.  A 4.11 ERA and a K per inning isn’t terrible.  But I’m like Veruca Salt up in here and I want more!

Chipper Jones – 2-for-5 as he continues to swing a hot bat.  That’s what she said!  He’s hitting .375 over the last week with 2 homers.

Brian McCann – Hit his 24th homer as he hit out of the six hole yesterday.  He’s hitting under .200 in September, so I get it, but, wow, Fredi is reactionary.  Next thing you know Jose Constanza is gonna be catching.

Brandon Phillips – 1-for-2 with a homer.  I mentioned Phillips yesterday after he homered twice regarding his disappointing season, but, I guess, if you have to get hot at any time during the season, now’s a good time.  About time BP starting giving back.

Dillon Gee – 5 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 8 baserunners, 5 Ks.  I tried to steer people away from Gee for this start.  Looked favorable, but he was alternating good starts with bad and he was due for a bad one.  And that theory goes out the window with my socks.  I don’t wash them; I just throw them outside for the homeless.  I give back.  Did I ever mention I once answered phones for the Chabad Telethon?  True story.  And I’m not even officially Jewish.  Eat it, Itzhak Perlman!

Troy Tulowitzki – Left yesterday’s game with more hip issues.  He’s too hip to be sore!  I imagine he’s gonna sit out at least a few more days.

Bruce Chen – 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 8 Ks.  They call him Bruce (because that’s his name)!  Sure, it was against the Twins, but still he was coming off two straight games giving up 5 earned, so it took some cojones to start him here.

Mike Moustakas – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer as he bats .231.  Hosmer is blowing him out of the water for fantasy value this year, but I have this gut feeling that it’s gonna be reversed next year.  I don’t have anything to back that up.  It’s my gut.  It might be the chicken shawarma I had for dinner.

Brandon Morrow – 5 1/3 IP, 5 ER.  Don’t worry, there’s always next year when I get unreasonably happy for Morrow and his 5+ ERA.

J.P. Arencibia – 2-for-4, 3 RBIs with his 23rd homer.  Someone asked yesterday where Arencibia was gonna be drafted next year.  Good question.  I think people will see the under .230 average and get scared off.  Not I, friend.  He’ll definitely be more than a blip on my radars.

Carlos Santana – Hit his 22nd homer yesterday.  You know what?  There’s actually gonna be decent depth next year for catchers.  The catcher position slept at a Holiday Inn last night.

Dustin Pedroia – 4-for-5, 2 homers, 4 runs, 5 RBIs.  Sparky Anklebiters are so cute when they get all rambunctious and yappy.

David Ortiz – Left the game with back spasms.  In elementary school, they used to say to me, “Back, spazz.”  That’s probably unrelated.

Cole Hamels – 5 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Astros.  This coming a day after the Astros beat up on Oswalt.  The Braves should’ve made a deadline deal for J.D. Martinez, Clint Barmes and J.B. Shuck.

Jason Bourgeois – 2-for-5 with a steal.  He’s not playing every day, but when he does play, he’s hitting and stealing (.467 with 3 steals in the last week).

Gavin Floyd – 5 1/3 IP, 4 ER.  I’m pretty sure Danks and Floyd pitch simply to upset fantasy owners.

David Price – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 6 Ks vs. the Suckie-O’s.  I expected more from Price in this start.  Am I asking too much?  Maybe I’m just like my mother, she’s never satisfied.  Wait, that’s not Price, that’s Prince.

B.J. Upton – 1-for-3 with 2 steals.  *big voice*  He’s one steal away from a 20/30 year!  *small voice*  He’s batting .235.

Pablo Sandoval – Bochy said Pablo has regained the weight he lost last winter.  He’s now back to being Pablo Sandsphere.

Stephen Strasburg returned yesterday in case you’re living under a rock that doesn’t get the MLB package.  Reminds me of a line Selig uses on his wife, “Hey, baby, wanna see the MLB package?”  What can I say about Strasburg that hasn’t been said before?  That he stinks.  That hasn’t been said before.  It’s also not true; probably why it hasn’t been said before.  He can translate Pig Latin into Ancient Sumerian.  That’s never been said before.  Also, not true, but whatevs.  If Strasburg is available in your league, I’m guessing you’re in a ten team league where it’s you vs. nine alias you made up.  Hey, whatever it takes to win, right?  But if he’s available, grab him.  I imagine he’ll be fine this year if a bit more hype than is actually warranted.  I mean, in roto leagues, is he really changing your ratios that are from 1300 innings with twenty of his own innings?  No, probably not.  Oh, and he threw five shutout innings in last night’s game.  Yeah, he’s good.  Well, that’s been said before.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Psyche!  Before we jump into the roundup, just wanted to say our fantasy football site has been getting updated, but sometimes when you switch servers (as we did last week), it takes a bit for your browser to clear cache or cookies or something that I don’t fully understand.  The site should be up to date now.  If it’s not showing a post newer than last week, please tell me in the comments.  Thanks, friend.  Anyway II, the roundup:

Jason Kipnis – 1-for-3 in his return.  Before his hammy/oblique injuries, he was knocking seeds all over the field like an Amish farmer after a 12-pack of Red Bull.

Kosuke Fukudome – When he gets hot, he gets scorching and he now has homers in two consecutive games.  Roll out the red carpet!  And I’m not referring to Joan from Mad Men.

Carlos Carrasco – Will miss all of 2012 with Tommy John surgery.  A representative of the Mayans said, “You ain’t gonna miss anything.”

Shin-Soo Choo – Said he will return on September 13th.  I don’t care.  I mean, I care enough to not care, if that makes sense.  Choo’s hurt me this year!  My wounds are fresh!  I’m thinking of taking him to small claims court where this Indians middle reliever, who came in after Hagadone, will be presiding.

Fausto Carmona – 1 1/3 IP, 7 ER.  Seems odd to make a deal with the devil and tell him you don’t need his help after September 5th.

Drew Pomeranz – Will make his MLB debut on Sunday vs. the Reds.  So why do you care?  I’m not sure.  Maybe you’re related to Pomeranz.  Hey, Stew Pomeranz, thanks for reading!  Pomeranz was a first round pick in 2010 and has a 1.78 ERA in his first 20 pro starts with a big time K-rate.  But, and unless you’re an alien there’s always a but, he’s very young and will start his home games in Coors.  In deep keepers, sure, take a flyer with him for your bench.  Everyone else, I’d let the schmohawk in your league who wears a jersey of a team he doesn’t like to the draft to throw everyone off take the risk.  You know, the guy too smart for his own good.

Rickie Weeks – Could return this weekend.  Or The Weeknd, if you’re into R&B.

Rick Porcello – 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 1 K.  You know what Porcello is good for?  Inconsistency and no Ks.  Sorry, sometimes the truth hurts, Rakim.

Brett Myers – 7 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 Hits, 6 Ks.  Last time Myers had a four-hitter he ended up with a restraining order.

Jeff Niemann – 4 2/3 IP, 7 ER.  Fellow -mann’s, Jordan and Horace, are none too impressed and neither am I.  Frank Herrmann, “Don’t forget me!”  Who are you?

C.J. Wilson – 9 IP, 0 ER, 8 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Remind me to never doubt a reliever turned starter.  Seriously, make Kevin Gregg a starter and he’ll have a 2.00 ERA.

David Murphy – 4-for-4, 4 RBIs and his 9th homer.  The other day I said something like Murphy goes through stretches where he should be owned in all leagues.  And that’s me paraphrasing me!

Jon Lester – 7 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks.  Now has an ERA of 2.93 on the year and a 1.19 WHIP.  Seems like he’s gotten so good that he’s taken for granted and forgotten when the best pitchers in baseball are talked about.  Then again, I try not to watch ESPN, where they probably have 30 minute segments during each Sportscenter about Sawx pitchers.

Josh Beckett – Turns out he had an ankle sprain, then he didn’t have an ankle sprain and now he has one again.  One thing he definitely doesn’t have is a decisive doctor.   Beckett will miss one start and he’s downgrading Al Bumbry’s mint rookie card to a nickel in his baseball card magazine.

Dustin Pedroia – The Sawx scored 14 runs and the Sparky Anklebiter went 0-for-5.  Ticker tease!

Marco Scutaro – 4-for-5, 4 RBIs, 2 runs.  Now 7 for his last 12.  Marco…Scutaro…Just pops up in the most unlikely places (when you close your eyes in a pool).

Mike Leake – 9 IP, 2 ER, 3 baserunners, 6 Ks.  He was one out from a one-hitter shutout when LaHair moussed him.

Bobby Parnell – Gave up 2 runs as he blew the save, but the Mets went on to win the game.  Doesn’t it seem that when a team rallies after a blown save that the team is less inclined to worry about the closer blowing the game originally?  Maybe it’s just confirmation bias.  (<–Thanks, Psych 101!)

Jorge Posada – 1-for-3 with his 13th homer as Jesus sat, which is nowhere near as hip as Jesus walks.

Brett Gardner – 1-for-3 with his 7th homer and 43rd steal for the slam & legs.  He’s obviously nowhere as valuable as Ellsbury this year, but I still have my delusions that he can be one of these years.

Jake Peavy – 6 1/3 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 9 Ks.  That looks like the Peavy of old… Oh, I know.  He was facing the Twins in the Hubert H. Homerfree Retrodome.

Alex Rios – 1-for-4 with a homer and he’s batting .455 in the last week.  If he got hot for the final three weeks it wouldn’t shock me.  Whatever he can do to pull the wool over people’s eyes for next year he’ll do it.  I can see it now.  Random Commenter in March, “Hey, Grey, what do you think of Rios?  While he was one of the worst players and human beings for five months, he was good last September.”

Jason Motte – Salas pitched in the 7th inning and Motte got the save.  The closer role has been clinched!…Then Motte gave up a run.  So I’d look at Motte first, but there’s no way of knowing which way the wind’s going to blow La Russa’s feathered locks.

Ramon Ramirez – Speaking of closers, everyone’s pointing at Sergio Romo and he pitched the 8th inning while Ram-Ram got the save.  This is an obviously fluid situation that needs plastic bed sheets.

Dee Gordon – 3-for-5 with his 16th steal.  I guess you don’t need steals.  Must be nice being like the little Monopoly man with steals hanging out of your tuxedo.  Ooh, look at me, I have Boardwalk and Park Place and steals.

Vance Worley – 6 IP, 2 ER, 10 baserunners, 6 Ks.  ERA is now 2.86 on the year and his record is 11-1.  Good enough to make a Philly fan puke on someone.  In a good way.

Brad Lincoln – 6 IP, 2 ER, 5 baserunners, 6 Ks.  Back in June when he was first called up, I made him a Buy.  You can look it up!  Since then, haven’t really talked about him.  He now has a 3.53 ERA in 35 2/3 innings with a 1.18 WHIP and he’s been much better as a starter than a long reliever as the Pirates used him for a bit.  His Ks are a bit pedestrian and he grew his beard because some letter written by an 11-year-old.  You are your own boss, Lincoln!  I could see streaming him for the reminder of the season with the right matchups.

Ryan Doumit – 1-for-4 with a homer.  On Monday, he went 3-for-4.  Ryan Without-Mitt usually can hit; he can’t usually stay healthy.  That’s his caveat for our Latin American readers.

Jose Tabata – Has a fracture in his hand.  Or as they say in Brad Hand’s household, a fractured last name.