Maybe we shut down pitchers after they throw a perfect game, instead of debating a Stephen Strasburg skin tag and whether we should have it checked out. This isn’t entirely fantasy related, but there was like seven games yesterday, so bear with me.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First Stanton, now Joey Votto. I got two good knees. Take my knees. Please! I take my knees everywhere and they always find their way home. I will attempt to put into words how distraught I was over losing Votto, but Autocorrect tried to change put into pout, so even it knows this isn’t going to be easy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Pirates announced the time is nigh for Starling Marte. The Pirates equipment manager, Buffalo Bill, has to start making a uniform made from Jose Tabata’s skin. Put the lotion in the basket, Tabata! Tabata, “I wanna go home!” You won’t go home, ever.Please, blog, may I have some more?
You walking out of your H2H draft, “I might have overspent on Tulo but, as long as I have him in September, I’m fine. Now where are those cigars I’ve been saving for the birth of my firstborn? I need a stogie up in here!” You might’ve just got your wish.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the preseason, I said Adam Lind could contend for the MVP. Wow. It’s almost like Matthew Berry put that thought in my head. In a litany of dopey things I’ve said, that might take the cake, frost it and smush it into my face. The Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice), the Berry feeds the Grey (bad advice)… Hi-ho, the marry-o… What was I thinking?! In my defense, he didn’t have an ailing back when I said that flimflammery and I told you to drop him outright a few weeks ago. Oh, well, that’s what you get sometimes from crazy predictions. Just flat-out crazy. Like I should be walking into traffic in a burlap sack crazy. So the Jays added a third A to Lind’s first name, sending him to the minors. Since he was hitting like an infant, it makes sense. In his place, the Jays called up Yan Gomes. What’s with people and the last name Gomes unable to spell John? Yanny was hitting .359 with 5 dingers in Triple-A. Whatever, right? Well, he’s a catcher, so those are like MVP (dah!) numbers. In AL-Only leagues, I could see grabbing him. Right now, he’s behind J.P., Mathis, Lawrie and Encarnacion, but Lawrie’s got a suspension and Edwin just made an error and the Jays game doesn’t even start for 12 hours, so Yanny could see time all over the field. Yesterday, he played third and went 2-for-3. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Brett Lawrie – Unable to decide on the shadow coat rack or just bad calls, he dropped his appeal. He is also practicing counting to ten before blowing his top. As soon as he figures out what comes after 6 it should be a breeze.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Todd Frazier went deep twice yesterday. When asked the other day if Frazier would play, Dusty Baker said, “It could be (Miguel) Cairo. I’ve got an idea what guys’ strengths and weaknesses are… We’ll see. It’s up to Frazier. Okay, who switched out my mint toothpicks with splinters! You know my T-picks kill the skunk breath!” Todd Frazier is a damn fine specimen of underachieving-could-easily-be-achieving-if-he-starts-hitting prospect hitting nom-nom. In the minors last year, he had 15 homers and 17 steals, year before 17/14, year before he helped pen Richard Marx’s foray into romance novels, “Hold Onto The Knights.” What can’t he do!? Not sure if that’s rhetorical, but I’ll answer. I’m not sure he can hit for an average over .240 in the long run. There’s a chance Rolen gets Wally Pipp’d even if he returns healthy and that ‘if’ is the size of Hasselhoff’s ego. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Aroldis Chapman – 1 IP, 0 ER, 2 Ks. ERA is at 0.00, WHIP is at 0.57. Dusty Baker said yesterday that the plan is for Aroldis to start someday. That reminds me of a sentence I read recently in Scientific American, “Because of natural evolution patterns, it’s conceivable that pigs will fly someday.”
Vance Worley – Placed on the DL. Went from a match-ups pitcher who could get lit to having an inflamed elbow. Call the fire department!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yoenis Cespedes homered in yesterday’s second day of kinda real baseball played about six hours before I wake up. I wonder where Cespedes is being drafted now. When Rudy and I took our giant beach balls to early March drafts and took Cespedes in a bunch of drafts, he was going cheap. I wonder if now all those other ‘perts are suddenly stepping up because others are excited about him. I wonder if everyone else is a Monday morning quarterback with their advice. I wonder if Yoenis will hit 30 mistake pitch homers. I wonder if he’ll make adjustments and hit for a decent average too. I wonder how this would sound read by Morgan Freeman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in spring training (and real baseball) for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 6 Ks.Please, blog, may I have some more?
In the first real game of the season (it was real, right? I looked for highlights, but ESPN was showing a Red Sox split-squad game instead). From the box score, I heart Brandon McCarthy. His line was 7 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners and 3 Ks. Yeah, the Mariners aren’t very good at hitting, but a quality start is a quality start. Brandon McCarthy celebrated by taking out a Tokyo girl with red streaks in her hair who lives on the other side of the tracks. Sorry Peking Ducky! I tried to get Rudy to draft McCarthy in one of our leagues on Tuesday night, and was disappointed to see he went to someone else for $9. I have his projections down as 8-11/3.50/1.17/140. Last year, his home ERA and WHIP was 2.65 and 1.11. He may not strike out many hitters, but there’s not many pitchers late I’d trust to actually help my WHIP. Anyway, here’s what else we saw in spring training (and real baseball) for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Justin Smoak – 0-for-5. That two day pick up has worked out well so far! While he’s at it, maybe he can hit a line drive into Florida and injure Anibal Sanchez.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I have a secret to share with you (You: ‘Despite being the producer of Entourage, you still call Mark Wahlberg Marky Mark?’‘ Me: ‘Yes, but that wasn’t the secret I was referring to’). My secret is 2B is chalk full of value plays this year. There were so many overvalued players going into 2011 that busted, we’re left to buy low on multiple candidates this year. A look over at Mock Draft Central tells me that a guy that gave us 21/16 and a bad average last year is worth 7 rounds less than a guy that went 21/17 with a bad average. We’re talking about Kelly Johnson (ADP: 236) vs Danny Espinosa (ADP: 148). That’s crazy glazed with a WTF and garnished with an LOL. I can only guess having a girl’s name is the reason for the price tag difference. In a perfect draft, I have Dan Uggla on my team and am taking either Johnson or Espinosa but would settle for a BA friendly Brandon Phillips over Uggla in that situation as well. Because of the depth, I’m most likely avoiding the top tier 2Bs unless they fell to me.Please, blog, may I have some more?