Dustin Ackley

Dan Pants

Hanley Injures Hammy, Dodgers in a Jammy

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 75 Comments

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In the words of one Champ Kind, “That’s a whaaammy!” Hanley Ramirez left the game last night with a hamstring injury in just his fourth game back from the DL with a torn ligament in his thumb. HanRam will have tests done this weekend but early signs are not good. He did that “Oww! PAIN!”-grab-the-back-of-the-leg move that Giancarlo Stanton owners are no doubt familiar with, and he needed the help of two trainers to get off the field. Manager Don Mattingly said it looked like he’ll miss “…a good amount of time,” and wouldn’t expect him back anytime soon. Don also added, “Hot damn-ley! This screws up all my plan-leys!” That makes two of us, Donny. Ramirez’s rehab for his thumb went so smoothly we should have known some doom and gloom was on the way. In addition to returning ahead of schedule and bursting with confidence (I don’t think I ever heard HanRam speaking so enthusiastically about playing, I guess leaving the Marlins can do wondrous things for morale), Hanley started out mashing right out of the gate, batting .455 with a homer and stolen base. It was too good to be true. Sure, no one thought he was Ironman-ley (III: Gandhi’s Revenge!), but this is tough luck for anyone. Hopefully owners haven’t dropped their Josh Donaldsons, Brandon Crawfords or various other replacements just yet because they could likely be without HanRam for the next 3-5 weeks, if not more.

Here’s what else happened in fantasy baseball last night:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Young Rediscovers Extra Krispie Recipe

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 732 Comments

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Yesterday, Krispie Young had a double side of slam and an order of legs. Sorry, I’m hungry. And Krispie’s making me hungrier! Krispie creams the balls and my eyes glaze. Hungry for what, Grey? Shut up, Random Italicized Voice. Outside of China, Krispie flies could only mean one thing — someone’s hot or stealing Salty’s signs. Why do I feel like my cholesterol is going up just writing this? You know, I’ve never had my cholesterol checked. I’d go if the cholesterol checking doctor gave out a stick of butter like dentists give Dum-Dum lollipops. You think anyone knows what the Mystery Dum-Dum flavor is? I mean, anyone at all or is it just some leftover guck from the lollipop machines that happens to fall on a stick? The thing is, and there is a thing, young prematurely balding man, when Krispie gets hot he could hit ten homers and steal ten bases in the matter of two weeks. If you don’t like that sorta thing, you got high standards. Me? I’m wearing sweatpants for the last 230 days straight and picking up Young. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Moore Fun Than A Barrel Of Yankees

| Fantasy Baseball Daily Notes | 320 Comments

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Sure, these aren’t your slightly older brother’s Yankees. Even Mel Hall would roll over in his Aryan cellmate’s arms if you were to compare these Yankees with the early-90′s Yankees. Still… Again and this time put a little sting on it… STILL! Mr. DeMille, Matt Moore looks ready for his close-up as he announced, “I am big. It’s the other pitchers that got small.” The Yankees can usually take a walk, and Moore’s on the wild side when the guys and four girl readers go, ‘Doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo doo.’ Yesterday, Moore only gave up two hits and three walks through eight innings while chipping in nine Ks. His season ERA now sits at 1.04. Sure, that’s gonna come up a bit, but I ranked him 16th overall for all starters for a reason. That reason is his stuff is nasty. Nasty as in good not nasty as in bad with that bad not being bad bad, he’s good bad. Kapeesh? Looking for a pitcher then can give you 200 Ks and a 2-something ERA then look at Strasburg. Looking for a guy that can get you the same amount of Ks and a low-three ERA, but will come a lot cheaper in a trade? That’s all the Moore reason. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Sky

Creeper Of The Week: Put Your Middle Infield In A Full Nelson

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, Creeper of the Week | 115 Comments

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True story: one of my childhood friends had a younger brother who was big into WWF or WWE or whatever that wrestling league was called with the Undertaker and so and so and such and such…yeah, it’s clear I didn’t watch it at any point really but that’s not the point of this story. So it was the summertime and said friend and I along with our regular High School crew went out around our town of 5,000 to see what there was to see and do what there was to do. After 10 seconds, we realized that ‘nothing’ was the answer to the previous ‘see/do’ commentary and headed back to his house. When we opened the door, we were shocked to find his brother putting wrestling moves on a stuffed bear but that wasn’t the only segment that was awkward about this. He was doing all of this with only basketball shorts and a Batman utility belt on with wrestling figures in all the belt pockets. When he realized we were taking in his wrestling kabuki theater of horrors, he turned to us with the look of a man who knows he’ll never live it down and balled ‘what are you doing here?!?’ and girlishly ran to his room. We literally couldn’t move for about 10 seconds as we stood and stared into the open space that once held one of the weirdest moments we wished we’d never seen in our lives. And done, thank you for reading and I’ll see you next week! Oh wait, this isn’t my personal blog I’m here to pick a hitter to roll with as the creeper of the week. Ok, I’ll take Chris Nelson for $1000, Alex. Daily Double! Oh, that pun might actually hold into the next paragraph. Wanna find out? Well read on as we see more about Chris for 2013 fantasy baseball…

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tehol Beddict

Fantasy Baseball Points League — Street Fighter 2 Edition: Chris Davis Unleashes Shoryuuuuken

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, Points Leagues | 47 Comments

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Greetings all! Tis I, Tehol Beddict, ready and willing to service you in any way you desire, though the main goal here is to help you with fantasy baseball. I am a man who has worn many a hat. You may know me as the fantasy football guru who dominated the Razzball writers league, or as the fantasy basketball writer who was almost gang raped by she males in Bora Bora, or possibly even seen my man-kini photo spreads in countless magazines and websites throughout the years. It is a pleasure to serve you and it’s a privilege to write for the greatest fantasy sports website known to man. Let’s jump into the post as I’m going in and out of consciousness due to the fact I’ve been starving myself in preparing for an audition at Playgirl.

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

2nd Basemen To Target, 2013 Fantasy Baseball

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2013 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 210 Comments

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Psst! This post is gonna list 2nd basemen that you should target in your 2013 fantasy baseball drafts. I’m whispering because you don’t want everyone to see this post. No, I can’t whisper louder. Then it WOULDN’T BE WHISPERING! Okay, gig’s up (or maybe that’s jig’s up), the love I’m about to reiterately (Made Up Word of the Day!) confirm are guys I love later in drafts. Am I drafting any of these guys in the first 10 rounds? Probably not (except for Josh Rutledge — hello, beautiful! Come here, let Grey massage your balls…The balls of your feet, silly!). These are players that you’re looking at later and all of them have ADPs after 150. Some could be the 2nd baseman on your team, they are more than likely MIs. MI, a name I give my middle infielder. This is a (legal-in-all-countries-except-Spanish-speaking-ones) supplement to the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball. Click on the player’s name where applicable to read more and see their 2013 projections. Anyway, here’s some 2nd basemen to target for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
Grey

Top 20 2nd Basemen for 2013 Fantasy Baseball

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball Draft, 2013 Fantasy Baseball Rankings | 153 Comments

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Unlike the top 20 1st basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball, this post doesn’t need to go to 42. About thirteen will do. We’ll still go to 20-something, but it won’t always be fun on the way. I don’t remember another position any other year like this for the 2nd basemen. There are no upside picks after the top thirteen. I mean, I guess, sorta, possibly Logan Forsythe or Donovan Solano could surprise, but, more likely, they will have a few weeks here and there where they are ownable. This wouldn’t matter if, say, they were catchers. You draft one and you’re done. But you know some doofus in your league is going to draft an early middle infielder and then take two of the top thirteen guys. If you get two doofii in your league, you’re gonna have Brian Roberts as your 2nd baseman and be like, “Yo, Grey, he could bounce back, right? Hello? Echo? Mr. Eko from Lost?” There’s the position eligibility chart for 2013 fantasy baseball. All the 2013 fantasy baseball rankings are under that linkie-ma-whosie. As always, my projections and tiers are included for the low, low price of zero dollars. Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2013 fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?
jaywrong

Under The Greydar: Yakety Ack, Don’t Talk Back!

| 2013 Fantasy Baseball, 2013 Fantasy Baseball Sleeper | 17 Comments

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Throughout the annuls of history, we, as a human species have learned that it’s not easy being green. While it’s not easy being green, it is also not easy hitting at Safeco. Looking through the ballpark values, I can surmise that if I jumped off the roof of Safeco, I would have a hard time hitting the ground. It’s well documented, the struggles of high-ceiling prospects donning a Seattle Mariners uniform. Most especially with Justin Smoak, Jesus Montero, and our subject for today’s post– Dustin Ackley. Despite a strong showing at the end of last season, Smoak is the closest to becoming the next ‘falling star’ cautionary tale, putting him right next to the likes of Delmon Young, Rocco Baldelli, and Chris Brown’s fist. But both Montero and Ackley still have a fair chance to reach their potential, and from what I read at TMZ the other day, Chris Brown’s fist has made a sudden turnaround. At the very least, they (the players, not fist) have one more season before the grumblings become deafening, and players like Stefen Romero, Nick Franklin, and Mike Zunino start knocking on the 25-man door.

Please, blog, may I have some more?