To paraphrase Tupac from Brenda’s Got a Baby, “I hear Grey’s got 2017 fantasy baseball rankings, but Grey’s barely got a brain. A damn shame. That guy can hardly spell his name. GREY’S….GOT EM….RANKINGS! Don’t you know he’s got ’em. He wrote them solo, and he wrote them on his bathroom floor and didn’t know what to throw away and what to keep. He crumbled these rankings up and threw them in a trash heap. GREY’S….GOT EM….RANKINGS! Don’t you know he’s got ’em.” Don’t say I don’t keep my shizz socially conscious. Or is it socially conscience? Meh, doesn’t matter, I do it either way. So, this top 60 starters has seven pitchers I’m not crazy about. That’s more than the last post, but still not that many. I.e., there’s a ton of starters to draft. As with previous rankings posts, my projections are included and where I see tiers starting and stopping. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2017 fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Earlier this week, I posted the first six rounds of the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft. You’re never going to believe this, but I’m now going to post rounds 7-12. At the end of it all, there will be four posts and 23 total rounds. It’s a lot of work, but you guys are worth it.
Here is a quick recap of the league rules for this mock:
This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1).
As I did the last time, I’ll post the rounds below with some of my thoughts beneath the picks. I’ll keep the thoughts brief since we have a bunch of rounds to get through. That pissed off at least one commenter last time who apparently wanted more Mike Maher analysis and less Mike Maher patting himself on the back. Let’s see if I can do better this time around…Please, blog, may I have some more?
Greetings, friends. I hopped over to the football side of things once last year’s baseball season ended, but now I’m back. And apparently, I am such a disturbed individual that I am doing fantasy baseball mock drafts in early January. And, I am writing about them. And, well, I just wanted to start another sentence with and because it feels so wrong but so right at the same time. Anyway, moving on.
I was fortunate enough to be invited to the Couch Managers 2017 Industry Mock Draft, and we’re going to recap it here. This mock was for a 15-team, 5×5 roto, with 23 roster spots made up of 9 pitchers (9), 1 spot for each position (8), a second catcher (1), 2 more outfielders (2), one corner infielder (1), one middle infielder (1), and one utility position (1). As long as I did that math correctly, that is 23 spots.
Below, I will provide the results for the first six rounds and a give my thoughts for each round. I’ll do the same for rounds 7-12, 13-18, and 19-23 in subsequent posts. I’ll try to keep it brief. All we really care about are the results here, right? Feel free to tell me how awesome or crappy you think my team is, along with what you think were the best and worst picks of the draft or the different rounds…Please, blog, may I have some more?
In order to be competitive, the Marlins would need All-Stars at every position all farmed from their minor league system. Sorta like what the Cubs have managed to do. Not impossible, but that’s what it would take for the Marlins because they are cheap AF. By the way, AF is my favorite acronym. Props to whoever first started using it. Feels like it started on Twitter because of the character limit. Keeps shizz short and simple AF, kinda like me (short and simple). Any the hoo! I was saying the Marlins need to be precise AF (I’m overusing it now) with their minor league system like they were with Jose Fernandez. He’s AF as AF comes. His nickname should no longer be Jo-Fer but AF. Or maybe AF-Fer. Nah, that looks like a trade union. A-Fer? That looks like algebra. Fernandez should own Abercrombie & Fitch he’s so AF. Yesterday, Jose Fernandez went 8 IP, 0 ER, 3 hits, zero walks and 12 Ks. He has 253 Ks in 182 1/3 innings. Seriously, digest that for a second. WTF AF?! Of course, I wish the Marlins would shut him down until 2017, but I have no chance of owning him next year. Not that I don’t love him. He’s the best pitcher in the game if I’m building a dynasty league. Yeah, I said it. I want him over Kershaw. Kershaw has been durable up until this year, but all pitchers are durable up until the point when they’re not. At one point, Jake Peavy was durable AF, too. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Maybe it was the food poisoning I had yesterday, but I had a dream Toomgis, the AM/PM mascot, and I were driving around talking about September baseball. It feels like half the teams are either resting regulars for the playoffs, or the other teams that are out of it are resting regulars to give rookies a chance. Those are the matchups you need to capitalize on with starting pitchers. By the way, Toomgis is so obvious a creation of stoned creatives. It’s a collection of stoner food and Toomgis stands for ‘Too Much Good Stuff.’ Um, okay, but there’s an I in there. Stoner creative, “Eye-shmeye, we just need to move on before I eat our prototype.” One more Toomgis point, how is this not Colorado’s national bird? Any hoo! So, with this matchups point hidden amongst my fracking in on Toomgis, we have Jharel Cotton capitalizing. In his first major league start, 6 1/3 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 3 Ks. Jharel Cotton makes me think of Faye Dunaway in a heavy Southern accent saying, “I shall avert my eyes.” Cotton showed good control in the minors, and solid Ks, but in redraft leagues, you’re more worried about matchups this time of year. For 2017, Cotton idolized Pedro Martinez and I can see why. He’s five-eleven soaking wet (but I’m not sure people get taller when wet). He also relies on the speed of the fastball and the break of the change. A change that might carry him to glory, as soon as next year. In keepers, I’d be very interested. For this year, go with Toomgis’ advice on matchups. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Before Magic Mike and Magic Mike XXL – and before you ask, yes there was such a time…and why do you demarcate things around such a movie? God, you’re weird – there was The Full Monty. The Full Monty was about a bunch of white guys who took off their clothes for money, just like Magic Mike. It was also a comedy, just like Magic Mike. Serious question: why is it so damn funny when a white guy takes his clothes off? I mean, we weren’t SUPPOSED to laugh when Showgirls did it…even though we did because if we didn’t laugh, we’d cringe. It seems racist and misandrist to me, but then I just stripped in front of the mirror myself and even I had to laugh. What is wrong with me and the world…well, that was a short-lived moment of self-awareness and poignancy, so let’s talk about Mike Montgomery instead. Admittedly, there’s not much to see here in terms of season stats since he’s really only been a spot starter and a middle relief arm for most of the year. That said, he’s only been in the rotation for three games with the Cubs and from the looks of it, I wouldn’t say the Cubs are going to suppress his pitch count when you factor in the 91 he threw against the Dodgers just a start prior. Basically, here’s what I see: a guy with a K/9 in the 8 range, going against a team with a K% in the 25 range, at a price point in the $4,300 range. Ok, $4,300 isn’t a range, it’s his exact salary and that salary plays gloriously into punt range. Really, if he returns you 16 DK points – which, with a win, is very within reach – you’re gonna be absolutely fine cuz he let you beef up elsewhere. Hell, you could even throw a few more dollars into some dude’s golden lame thong if you’re into that thing. Just don’t laugh when you do, it hurts my feelings…I mean THEIR feelings! So with that, let’s move on to this. Here’s my thunder from down under taeks for this Wednesday DK slate…
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday September 12th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
As we always do about this time! *beat drops, Grey does the worm, Grey’s iPhone alarm goes off, time to put more money in the meter* Damn, how long was I worming for? September 1st hits and teams expand their rosters to the Four-Oh. Now pour some extra bullpen guys out for all the dead moments between pitcher changes. So, what does this mean for all of us, fantasy baseballers (<–my mom’s term!)? It means call-ups and rookie nookie is aplenty. Aplenty, I tell ya! By the by, for big boned people, rather than an X-Large t-shirt, they should call them aplen-Tees. Yeah, I just made the English language better. High-five yourself for even knowing to read me. *Grey worms, alarm goes off* Damn, I need to get more coins. At this point in the year, you need guys that are getting everyday playing time, so I’m pumped up the jam on rookie nookie, but if a guy isn’t playing every day, he’s as good as dirt in redraft leagues, and I don’t have a Soil category, do you? It’s a most exciting time to be alive and be fantasy balling, but don’t lose sight of the real goal here: to get quality at-bats from guys that are playing, not to pick up a guy that will be great in 2017. (Unless you’re in a keeper league; then, by all means, knock yourself out! Not literally! Ouch.) Which bring us to Yoan Mocada. Red Sox manager, John Farrell, says Moncada’s promotion is eminent. They have a bobblehead giveaway planned, a kid’s jersey giveaway, a ‘Yoan yawn coverer’ which is really just a foam hand, a–*intern whispers in my ear* Seems I was misusing ‘promotion.’ I already gave you my Yoan Moncada fantasy. He’ll be up on Friday. He should be owned everywhere and will play 3rd base. No Gas Face there. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
I was a huge fan of the Royals decision to add Ian Kennedy over the offseason since day one (yay me). Kennedy is really a good fit with the Royals and he’s bee hot ever since the midway point of the year. I love him at home and I think he loves himself at home because well, it’s where he lives. Don’t be fooled by how “good” the Yankees have been lately because we all know what kind of team they are when Gary Sanchez doesn’t magically hit a ball or two over the fence. The point is, I don’t trust the Yankees enough to not pick Ian Kennedy if that makes sense. At $9,400, Kennedy may be a bit expensive but it’s nothing we can’t handle.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run Monday, September 5th to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Chad Green was out there painting corners like he was on work release and someone decided the yellow curb needed to be yellower! Green ball in the corner pocket is what he felt! Green was dealing like a sad-looking, poker dealer at a poker room that is badly lit, which is known for having great dealers! Green for the money, gold for the honeys! Yesterday, Green was the envy of the league, though not a shizzton happened, admittedly. He threw 6 IP, 0 ER, 2 baserunners, 11 Ks vs. the Jays. Because his name is Green! Nah, that’s prolly not the reason, but it’s an interesting thought. Green has worked well in the minors (1.52 ERA in Triple-A), and gets strikeouts (9.5 K/9) with his mid-90s MPH fastball, and cutter. At this point, I’d still rely on the Stream-o-Nator with him for shallower mixed leagues, but I could see a flyer on him in keeper leagues for a chance there’s something here moving into 2017. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
We all know Lefties do things different so I’m going to go off script today and do it like a Lefty. Instead of one featured pitcher I’m pulling a Trifecta and going with Tres Zurdos (or Three Lefties in case you don’t know basic Spanish). First up is my numero uno for the night, Robbie Ray, $9,600 vs the Mets. I don’t typically endorse a pitcher in Coors Jr, but the Mets have been awful vs LHP. Their offense is batting .221 in the month of August and their in the bottom 3 in offensive stats vs LHP. If Ray is smart he’ll avoid Wilmer Flores and Neil Walker to cruise to an easy victory with at least 7 Ks. Drew Smyly, $9,000 vs San Diego is SON’s top pick tonight, so I’m not venturing too far from a sure thing. The human emoticon got roughed up pretty bad for a month straight giving up 25 ER’s over six starts, but after a recent software update he’s turned his frown upside down and has been all smiles since. Over his last four starts he’s had 29 Ks in 25 innings to go along with a 2.52 ERA. The Padres are on the home stretch of a lengthy East Coast road trip, so I’m taking advantage of a weak offensive team who’s ready to pack it in and call it a night. The final Zurdo on my list is a Smyly’s former teammate Matt Moore, $8,800 vs Pittsburgh. Here’s another struggling offense that’s been lost for the first two weeks of August. Their offense prowess is not existent with Starling Marte nursing a back injury, Andrew McCutchen struggling and they’re hitting a paltry .214 in August. He hasn’t made a home start yet, but Moore has been solid since the trade with 14 Ks over 12 innings. His home debut is all set up for dominance, if he can limit the walks and find his command he’ll be one of the top scorers tonight.
New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well reserve your spot in the 25 Team Razzball Exclusive League set to run today to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. Wanna know what the best part is about signing up with us? The free subscription for the rest of the season to our DFSBot, that’s what! For details on the how to, please visit our Razzball Subscriptions page.Please, blog, may I have some more?