Sergio Santos was traded to the Blue Jays for Nestor Molina, no relation to Alfred. Santos will take over the Blue Jays closing job with Frank Francisco being waved away like a stale fart — Stank Fartcisco, if you will. Santos was made for this job. He’s a cyborg. A cyborg of Ks who was sent here from the future to save games and to dance to the club remix of O Canada. Only wish he wasn’t traded so less people would be aware of him and he’d come as a bargain in 2012 fantasy drafts. Alas, he’s still gonna be worth a high (for a closer) draft pick. Last year he had 92 Ks in 63 1/3 IP. Who are you, Carlos Marmol? I love you, Santos, now have my babies and then name them something with a K. Like Klancy or Kasey or Keith. Anyway, here’s some more moves for 2012 fantasy baseball:
Heath Bell – Signed with the Miami Marlins to replace Juan Carlos Oviedo, who wants to know why the Florida Marlins can change their name but he can’t. Heath Bell will be a capable closer that I may or may not have on my fantasy teams, depending on where he’s drafted. I think he’ll probably be too rich for my blood. If I get a transfusion, I’ll revisit him.Please, blog, may I have some more?