Fantasy Baseball Advice

Seriously, it’s cool and all for fans of the Yankees and Red Sox but doesn’t Bud Selig in his infinitesimal wisdom see that maybe something needs to be done to level out the playing field?  It’s all so short-sighted, kinda like how he turned a blind eye to steroids.  Diamondbacks give away Reynolds so they can save a few million.  Meanwhile, the Red Sox sign Carl Crawford for $142 million with a developing country bonus.  If he wins the MVP, they’ll buy him Guatemala.  “El Presidente can you steal a base for us?”  That’s what they’ll say in Guatemala.   I imagine Crawford will hit somewhere in the middle of the Sawx lineup.  Like third, for instance.  With Ellsbury leading off, Pedroia in the two hole (hehe — two hole) and A-Gon cleanup.  There’s flexibility there so it could change.  Either way, they’re scoring 7 runs a game.  Crawford wasn’t exactly on the Mariners last year for offense.  The Rays scored the third most runs just behind the Red Sox.  Fenway’s a much gentler lover than the Trop, but Crawford hasn’t exactly ripped the cover off the ball there.  4 homers and a .275 average in 320 ABs.  Whatever the case, I think he’s going to be great and do more or less what he did last year.  Lots of steals, high-teen power and a solid average.  I’ll give him a line of 100/16/110/.305/45.  Yeah, it’s solid.  Anyway, here’s some more moves and what they mean for fantasy baseball:

Carlos Pena – Chuck P. says Yo! Bum Rush Chicago!  Pena is just the guy to get the Cubs over the 102-year hump.  Or at least strike out trying.  Pena was crazy unlucky with balls batted into play last year.  The scary thing is, he’s not much better than a .230 hitter even when he’s not unlucky.  Left mouth says, “Sch…”  Right mouth says, “…nikes.”  Together, “Schnikes.”  Would be a decent pairing with an Ichiro or a Sauvignon Blanc.  Supposedly, Pena was playing with plantar fasciitis last year, which only sounds like something Mr. Peanut would get.  He’s already said he’s recovered from it.  That might have caused his ground ball rate to go up.  Last year, he pounded balls right into the shift.  If he can just get some more lift on his balls (hehe — I said, shift then lift on his balls), then Pena could be in for a nice rebound year.  Right now, I’d conservatively give him 70/35/95/.235/3.  There’s room for more power though and average can be fluky.

Jason Bartlett – Off to San Diego, or as they call it in San Diego, “Here.”  Don’t think this is necessarily the death of Bartlett.  His age, his caught stealing percentage and his speed decline, those things might be the death of Bartlett.  As for any possibility of a return to the power he showed back in 2009, fahgettabartlett!

Reid Brignac – The door is open for Brignac.  Next stop, a sleeper post for him in the coming weeks.  You can hardly wait!  No, you!

Matt Diaz – Headed to the Pirates.  Dye-as is one of my favorites if you can platoon him against lefties only.  In most leagues, you won’t want (stutterer!) and/or need Dye-As, which is your deal more than mine, but he does throw some residual soot on someone else…

Garrett Jones – Who is this paging me at 5:46 in the morning?  It’s Robot Jones.  “Damn, Dye-as wanna stick me for my at-bats.”  It’s true, Robot.  That’s your warning.  Since Jones only hit .220 with six homers in 214 ABs vs. lefties last year, there’s a good chance Robot will be oiling his wheel-feet on the bench against his weaker half.  This could kill his value in 12 team mixed leagues.

Dioner Navarro – Signed with the Dodgers.  He’ll work a blahtoon with Rod Barajas.  Dioner has a softball build without the upper body strength to tap the keg.  It’s pretty useless in fantasy.

Craig Kimbrel – Right now, Fredi Gonzalez is saying he’s thinking about using Kimbrel and Venters for closing games.  Kimbrel is the righty, so he’d have slightly more value, but I’m sure this isn’t the last we’ll hear about this.

Koji Uehara – Will remain with the Orioles and chances are he’ll stay in as the closer, but Gonzalez could make it a Mike G. joint.  Will need to monitor this shituation in the spring.

Jeff Francoeur – Frenchy.  Royals.  Dayton Moore.  Off with his head!  At 27-years-old, Francoeur could return to his glory days of 2006 when he hit 29 homers with 100+ RBIs, but there is nothing from his last four years that make that seem like anything but a pipe dream.

Jack Cust – Signed with M’s.  I see what’s happening here.  Last offseason, the M’s made all kinds of signings that had their fans thinking they were the team to beat then they collapsed out of the gate.  This offseason, they’re doing crap and hoping it’ll have the inverse effect on the team’s 2011 performance.  They’re sneaky up there in the Pacific Northwest.  The M’s already have the Golden Glove Milton Bradley where Cust would probably fit, but maybe they lose Bradley.  (Member when the M’s fans were excited the team signed Bradley?  Yup.)  Cust will be 32-years-old for the start of the 2011 season and he looks to be aging quickly.  If he hits 25 homers and .260, he’s sneaky valuable in AL-Only leagues.  If he hits 17 homers and .240, he’s useless.  Cust kayin’.

Nate McLouth – Fredi Gonzalez also said he’s leaning towards McLousy for the starting centerfield job.  Very early in the game for guys to be handed starting jobs.  We’ll see.  But can you say bounce back?  Or as they spell it in Korea, “Bow-uns Bak.”

Alex Trebek, “Nelson Cruz, Josh Hamilton and Ian Kinsler.”  What’s the deal with all of these Rangers having all the upside in the world but not being able to stay healthy?  Alex, “Um, okay, we would’ve also accepted, ‘Who are some Ranger players?’  Oh, and nice mustache.”   Nelson Cruz has hit the DL five times in his short career.  Always with these little niggling injuries.  Shoulder fatigue this, ankle sprain that.  Someone get this guy some HGH.  I’d like to see a rule put into place that every player who has an injury needs to make two phone calls before they’re able to go on the DL.  One phone call to discuss their injury with Cal Ripken.  Another phone call to a Holocaust survivor.  If they can handle the guilt and still think their injury should force them out of action, then so be it.  Nelson Cruz will be out at least two weeks.  Nothing you can do but DL him and try to find a decent replacement.  David Murphy’s a good in-house one.  Though he needs to benched by you and the Rangers vs. lefties.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Brett Anderson – B.A. could miss up to 6 weeks.  So far it’s been a bad week to be listed in the risky pitchers for 2010 post.  Two guys hit the DL, another guy strained his groin.  Hey, there’s my groin… No, wait.  That’s my outie belly button.  Damn, I shouldn’t be straining to find– Ouch! I was pretty hands off with Brett Anderson this year.  As in, there’s Brett Anderson in my drafts and I’m not touching him.  A forearm strain… Shoot, anything with the arm is tricky for a pitcher.  You thought I didn’t want to own him before the injury, guess how I feel about him now.  One hundred sixty pounds! That’s trying to guess my weight, random italicized voice.  Totally my bad! But you’re kinda SOL right now because you can’t sell him for fifty cents on the dollar… Well, I mean you could, but I wouldn’t.  If you were to wait until he returns and pitches well, then traded him.  I could get behind that.

Jorge de la Rosa – The 2nd risky pitcher to make his way to the DL; de la Rosa’s suffering from a torn tendon in his middle finger.  In layman’s terms, this is called a wounded bird.  Rox docs are saying he should only miss a few starts.  I don’t want to yell fire in the theater of Razzball, but this is a similar injury that Wainwright suffered a few years ago and it knocked him out from June 7th, 2008 until August 22nd.  Listen, I don’t even know what to take for an upset stomach, so I’m obviously no doctor, but don’t try and buy de la Rosa on the cheap.

Jhoulys Chacin – Will take over for dlR.  Just went over him yesterday.  Scroll down or click here.  Your options are endless.

Chris Iannetta – Sent to the minors.  I’m in a league where I had him sitting in my catcher slot all year.  I’m also in first place in that league.  I’m telling you, guys and three girl readers.  Your catchers don’t matter.  Just throw someone in there.  In that league, I grabbed John Jaso for s’s and g’s.  Olivo is a great option if he’s out there.

Eric Young Jr. – 2-for-4 as he hit leadoff.  Followed by Fowler, Helton, Tulo and CarGo.  Now that’s a lineup!

Jason Bay – Hit his first homer of the year.  Glad to see Metco can’t hold in his power.  Just severely limit it.

Carlos Santana – He might be up any day now.  At least within the next month.  As I told someone yesterday, look at Wieters’s stats last year.  Look at Wieters’s stats this year –> he has one home run, 6 Runs and 7 RBIs.  What are you hoping to get from Carlos Santana?  A lunch date with Rob Thomas?  If you’re hoping Carlos Santana saves your team, you have a lot bigger fish to fry.  I wouldn’t be surprised to see Carlos Santana get called up and do nothing productive until next July.  Oh, and Santana’s dealing with a knee injury.

Buster Posey – See 1/8 of an inch above.

Clay Buchholz – 8 IP, 1 ER, 9 baserunners, 4 Ks and has a 2.19 ERA on the year.  See little reason why it can’t continue.  Could he be the Red Sox ace this year?  Without a shadow of a doubt.  It’s amazing to me the comments I still get asking if people should pick him up.  Are these one team leagues?  Own Buchholz before you give me an ulcer.

Brandon Wood – Yesterday, I mentioned that Wood has hit in three straight games.  Now it’s four as he went 3-for-4 with a homer.

Austin Kearns – 6 for his last 10 with two homers.  He won’t be good for the whole season, but right now Kearns has the juice.

Dioner Navarro – Suspended for two games for bumping an ump.  Navarro apologized saying the ump kept humming “Been Caught Stealing” and he just lost it.

Jarrod Saltalamacchia – All catchers, all the time on Razzball, huh?  Salty should be bacchia by the end of the week.  If you lost Iannetta, he’s another option I’d look at.

Max Ramirez – I swear, this is the last catcher for today.  If you want, skip down to the next blurb.  No?  Okay, but don’t pout.  That’s for guys who play fantasy golf.  Max Ramirez will actually be covered this afternoon by Stephen.  Coinkydink, huh?  Max Ramirez, who sounds like a Latino-Yiddish fusion chef, was the name bandied about for Mike Lowell this past offseason.  Ramirez has good power but the Rangers might just leave him as a backup to their backstop since his defense is poor.  It’s a sitch that’s worth watching.

Justin Smoak – 1-for-13 since his call up.  Someone needs to take Smoak aside and explain to him that when they wanted him to replace Chris Davis, they wanted his own interpretation not a facsimile.

Frank Francisco – 1 IP, 0 ER and his first save of the year.  “I take back what is mine.  Then I make love to your women,” said Frank-Frank as he entered from the bullpen.  Even money says Frank-Frank is the closer again-again.

Zack Greinke – 7 IP, 0 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks as he was appropriately Greinke’d.

Randy Wolf – 8 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners, 4 Ks and a no decision.  Hey, seems like old times.

Trevor Hoffman – 1 IP, 5 ER.  Ouch… Wait, what?  Oh.  Ouch.

Derek Lowe – 5 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  It hurts me soul when I hear people own Lowe.

Ryan Ludwick – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer as he now bats .303 on the year.  I’ve seen worse 5th outfielders.  Hey, Nate McLousy, that’s you!

Jon Garland – 6 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 10 Ks.  I don’t buy it.  He’s still a hodgepadre.

Edwin Jackson – 2 1/3 IP, 10 ER.  But just think, if you had drafted him last year, he would’ve been good.

Cody Ross – Missed yesterday’s game with a nighttime, sniffling, sneezing, coughing, aching, stuffy-head fever.  Maybe he’s allergic to the thought of losing his job to Mike Stanton.

Justin Verlander – 5 2/3 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks.  It’s not May yet, but don’t tell Verlander.

Francisco Liriano – 8 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 10 Ks.  Three weeks ago, I traded Jenks for Liriano and Maybin.  ABtC –> Always Be trading Closers.

Justin Morneau – Left the game with a stiff back.  Might’ve been from trying to catch up with Verlander’s 100 MPH fastball.

Brian Roberts – Still hasn’t started any baseball activities.  No spitting, no ball scratching, no nothing.

Rhyne Hughes – 1-for-4, 1 Run and RBI.  Now has a hit in every game he’s appeared in, but he won’t face lefties, at least for now.

Jim Johnson – Trembley looks at his bullpen and gets the *pinkie to mouth* shakes.  He said the Orioles don’t have a closer.  Johnson’s just a guy who can’t pitch that has appeared in the ninth inning in the past.  Yesterday, Johnson appeared in the 8th.  Giving way for the one, the only…

Alfredo Simon – Yeah, I’m a save whore.  I’ll admit it.  I grabbed him in multiple leagues.  By the time I grabbed him in every league I could, he had two men on and was about to blow the save.  He escaped.  Barely.  During his almost blown save, Jim Palmer said, “I told Simon in spring training just throw to the mitt.  And wear Jockey underwear.”  I added the last part.  Simon’s stuff looked decent from what I saw, but his minor league numbers show a guy who barely has a 5 K/9.  Who throws 90+ MPH and only Ks 5 guys per 9?  The Orioles new closer, that’s who!

Rajai Davis – Sat out because of a slump so Pennington hit leadoff and went 4-for-5 with a homer.  Uh-oh.

Ben Sheets – 4 IP, 8 ER as your A’s got the Sheets.

SPOILER ALERT! Kerry Wood is out for 6 to 8 weeks with a strained dorsi muscle. I thought only dolphins had dorsi muscles.  Huh.  Wait!  Maybe Kerry Wood’s a dolphin.  He does seem like he’d be good at Connect Four… underwater.  Nah, couldn’t be.  Though I could see him getting injured trying to remove a beer from a six pack holder.  Hmm… maybe.  Alas, for another day.  Chris Perez is the pickup.  If my money’s good at this rodeo, Kerry Wood’s not coming back until the All-Star Break and even then he’s no sure thing.  Anyway, here’s some other fantasy baseball news:

Huston Street – Suffering from only shoulder inflammation.  Could resume closer’s role by late-April.  Put this in the file of, See Then Believe.

J.P. Howell – Out for 3 weeks with a sore shoulder.  Can’t The Professor cook him up a cure with some coconuts and straw?

Dioner Navarro – Hurt his leg on a collision.  Could mean more playing time for Kelly Shoppach.  Those who like their ctachers late, take notice.

Cliff Lee – The Adverb might miss a start with an ab strain.  Sounds like someone needs to leave Suzanne Somers’ workouts to the ladies.

These top 20 catchers for 2009 fantasy baseball will be yawnstipating compared to the top 20 1st basemen or even top 20 shortstops, but you have to start somewhere, right? (That was rhetorical.)  You can check out our other top 20 lists for 2009 fantasy baseball under 2009 Fantasy Baseball Rankings.  I usually don’t draft a top catcher, instead I hold off until the later rounds and grab one of the late rounders.  That doesn’t mean I’m going to start the top 20 catcher list at number twenty-one (Varitek?  Oy vey.), cause some of youse like to gamble on a top catcher.  You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make them draft Chris Snyder.  Listed along with these catchers are my 2009 projections for each player.  Feel free to also look at our 2009 fantasy baseball player rater.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 catchers for 2009 fantasy baseball:

1. Brian McCann – This is the first tier of catchers.  This tier goes from here to Doumit.  I call this tier, “I won’t own one, but I hear they’re good.”  This was the one top catcher I owned in 2008 and that was only because he seemed to be discounted compared to Joe Mauer and Victor Martinez.  So my fantasy team with McCann must’ve have been the top performing offensive team I had, right?  Nopers.  The top catcher, McCann, still only gave you 68/23/87/.301.  If he did that at 3rd base, you’d call him Melvin Mora.  Zoinks!  2009 Projections:  75/25/95/.295

2. Geovany Soto – I have a personal bias against Mauer, but I’ll get to him.  (9 HRs and 1 steal in 2008!?!  Are you effin’ kidding me?)  Seems to me that the current climate (outside of Chicago) about Soto is he was great in 2008, but that’s about all we can expect from him.  He’s going to be 26 on opening day.  He can’t get better?  Actually, he can.  2009 Projections:  70/26/100/.280

3. Joe Mauer – Somewhere someone once wrote, “9 HRs and 1 steal in 2008!?!  Are you effin’ kidding me?” I forget where I read that, but it’s eloquent, profound and other razzy words for eloquent and profound.  Why are people drafting this dooode so early?  For a .330 average?  Shoot, lay off the Mark Reynolds-trans fat and you don’t need the Joe Mauer tasting-like-dust protein shake.  2009 Projections:  95/12/80/.320/3

4. Victor Martinez - I’m not drafting Victor Martinez on any teams, unless… Once again, and in caps — UNLESS he falls really far in a draft.  He’s only going to be thirty-years-old during the 2009 season; I don’t think he’s done just yet.  2009 Projections:  65/18/95/.300

5. Russell Martin – Martin is featured in our Razzball glossary for the term, “Teabagger,” but otherwise Razzball doesn’t have much love for The Backstop Who Plays Near Eagle Rock.  I don’t want to have anything to do with a catcher who gives you value because of some schmohawkian steals.  You’d be surprised at how fast a 13/18 catcher can become a 12/7 catcher. You really want to draft Placido Polanco in the fourth round as your catcher?  2009 Projections:  95/15/70/.285/10

6. Ryan Doumit – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Biggie Molina.  I call this tier, “The first catchers I could draft in any league.”  I originally had Iannetta at number six then put Doumit here, then Iannetta then Shoppach then… Well, you get the idea.  The next three catchers are all very close.  Doumit is injury-prone, but so what?  If he hits 17 home runs in 110 games and you can plug in someone else the other 50 games, you’re actually better off than having a subpar catcher for 160 games.  Doumit’s injury history is actually how he ended up in front of Iannetta and Shoppach.  It’s a plus in my mind.  2009 Projections:  60/17/70/.295/2

7. Chris Iannetta – Could easily finish 2009 in the top 3 of this top 20 list, which makes him so enticing.  He would’ve been ranked a bit higher on this list if not for Yorvit Torrealba’s deal with the devil to lessen Iannetta’s fantasy value.  2009 Projections:  55/19/70/.265

8. Kelly Shoppach – The Indians have to play Martinez at 1st or DH, right?  I think they do, but they might not.  Here’s a scenario, V-Mart starts off slow and says he needs to be behind the plate to get going offensively.  The Indians appease Martinez four times a week and Shoppach sits in 75% of the games.  This may sound like death for Shoppach’s value, but I still think he could put up 15 home runs in that scenario.  Remember, Shoppach was once a decent prospect.  Hopefully, he gets even more at-bats.  2009 Projections:  50/18/60/.260

9. Mike Napoli – Bill James has Napoli hitting 31 home runs if he gets 449 at-bats.  Well, that’s the catch, ain’t it? (Speaking of catch, has anyone ever seen Fishing with John?  It’s one of the best TV shows ever.  The episode where he goes ice fishing with Willem Dafoe is brilliant.  But I digress.)  Last year in 227 at-bats, Napoli’s numbers were 39/20/49/.273/7. With full-time catcher duties, he’s the number one catcher, right?  No.  His average isn’t going to be over .270 in 2009 and he’s not a full-time catcher.  Also, if he were a full-time catcher in 2009, his average would really suffer.  2009 Projections: 55/23/65/.245/7

10. Bengie Molina – And onto the next tier of catchers.  I like to call this tier, “Just punt and go with an upside pick like Salty, Teagarden or Flores.”  2009 Projections: 50/15/70/.275

11. Ramon Hernandez – Every time I convince myself Ramon Hernandez has one more big season left in him, my common sense steps in and talks about what a bloody moron I am.  I’d consider grabbing Ramon Hernandez in some leagues, but the better move is grabbing a younger upside pick real late cough Clement cough 2009 Projections:  55/17/75/.260

12. Jorge Posada – Posada has the name attached to him that says 20 home runs and 85 runs.  But he has a shoulder (barely) attached to him that says 12 home runs and a DL stint.  Don’t get nostalgic. Posada’s not worth being drafted in ten team mixed leagues.  If you’re drafting a catcher this far down the list, do yourself a favor, grab Salty or even Laird. 2009 Projections: 55/12/65/.270

13. Pablo Sandoval -  And another tier begins.  Let’s call this tier, “Guys that I wouldn’t mind having on my team.  After all, it is just a catcher.  Take a flier.”  You get an extra catcher, because Sandoval might not be eligible at catcher in your league.  If he is, you’re in luck because there’s going to be a 2009 Fantasy Baseball sleeper post about Sandoval shortly.  2009 Projections: 60/14/65/.300

14. Chris Snyder – A poor man’s Napoli.  2009 Projections:  55/18/70/.245

15. Jeff Clement – Huge 2009 fantasy sleeper right here.  I may even devote a whole post to this guy.  Maybe a few posts.  Okay, maybe just this half of a paragraph.  Last year in Triple-A, he went 40/14/43/.335 in only 173 at-bats.  173 at-bats! Okay, so he was abysmal when he was called up to the majors, but so what?  He’s only 25 and he has catcher eligibility.  I need to say more?  2009 Projections:  60/17/70/.250

16. Jarrod Saltamacchia – May not have the starting job in 2009, and he could still see 350 at-bats.  He’ll probably be in a timeshare with Teagarden and he’ll steal at-bats from Blalock (or Blalock will pull a Kotchman and be out indefintely).  Salty only feels like a guy who is a perennial bust.  He’ll only be 24 for the majority of the 2009 season.  2009 Projections:  65/16/75/.265

17. Dioner Navarro – I think Navarro and Sandoval must workout together.  They have the softball build without the upper body strength to tap the keg.  2009 Projections: 50/10/60/.285

18. Jesus Flores – If Snyder was a poor man’s Napoli, Flores is a poor man’s Snyder.  What?  Not impressed with that comparison?  Okay, what if I called him a homeless man’s McCann?  2009 Projections:  50/14/65/.245

19. Yadier Molina – And here’s a new player tier made up of two schmohawks. This tier I call, “Guys who I would never have on my team.”  Maybe I’m drunk on stupid, but I don’t buy the .300 average from Molina last year.  Though he’s not quite the guy who hit .216 one year either.  He is the guy that can’t break double figures in home runs.  As The Count from Sesame Street would say, “Bleh!”  2009 Projections: 35/7/50/.270

20. A.J. Pierzynski -  I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.  If you’re drafting a catcher this late and you’re taking Pierzynski, you’re not trying hard enough.  2009 Projections:  Yuck/Blah/I Feel Sick/.280

After the top 20 catchers for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names but three stand out:

Matt Wieters - Well, la di da.  If it isn’t the pre-preseason AL Rookie of the Year candidate, Matt Wieters, who’s now under the shadow of The Almighty Zaun.  I already went over Wieters 2009 fantasy outlook.  With the addition of Zaun, Wieters is only worth a look in deep AL-Only leagues and keepers.  In one year leagues, don’t bother or wait until Spring Training to see if Zaun is being used instead of Wieters or simply as a mentor.  If Zaun’s his mentor and Wieters is the starter, then Wieters moves back up this list.  Just don’t reach too far for him.  For every Geovany Soto, there’s six grande Salty-Mochachinos.  2009 Projections:  50/17/60/.290 or the Minors

Gerald Laird – He’s actually more valuable than Yadier Molina.  That’s right; I said it.  I placed him at the back end of the catcher tier though to highlight him and because, similarly to Teagarden, there’s more risk involved with Laird.  Yes, he’s the cream of the crap.  2009 Projections:  60/13/65/.270

Taylor Teagarden – I already went over a 2009 Teagarden fantasy outlook.  Before you write off Teagarden for being behind Salty, remember these three things. 1) Salty could move to 1st, when Davis is filling in for a DL’d DH.  2) Teagarden has already impressed Rangers’ management, unlike Salty.  3)  There’s no number three.  If Teagarden leaves spring with the job, he moves up this list.  So stay tuned!  Or not!  It’s your call really.  2009 Projections:  50/18/65/.265