When Ryan Zimmerman hits a homer, they should play the Coming to America clip where Murphy says, “In dee face,” at the basketball game. Speaking of Africa (sentence intro commonly found on fantasy baseball blogs), why is it called Out of Africa if it’s in Africa? Granted, I’ve never seen that movie, but the one thing I know about it is that it is in Africa! Straight Outta Compton is in Compton, but they get OUTTA OF COMPTON! This post is brought to you by Meryl Movie Lovers, or MeMoLos, as they’re commonly referred. Two more homers for Ryan Zimmerman yesterday, bringing his season total to 19 homers. Shame I didn’t believe in him (and still don’t). Why do I have more doubt than Meryl Streep in a habit? Answer me that, MeMoLos! He’s 32 years old, and, in his last two years, he had 15 and 16 homers. In eleven years, he’s only topped 26 homers once. So, don’t even give me that crap that I should’ve seen this coming. He’s hitting .372! Last year, he hit .218 and .249 the year before, and only hit over .300 one year in his career. He’s not having a career year. Nope. He’s combining all of his years together into one year, putting them into a Magic Bullet, pulverizing them for five minutes and drinking it. And, like Meryl sold French cuisine to an American audience in Julie & Julia, I’m still selling Zimmerman. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This week, “Beef” Welington Castillo took a foul ball right to his “beef.” Which made me question — do major league baseball players ever wear cups? Especially catchers? I know they’re awkward, bulky and uncomfortable, but the alternative is genital mutilation. (This has to be the first genital mutilation reference on Razzball, right? Wait…Grey must have written it at least once.) When I was a kid playing baseball it felt like I was always taught that a cup was the most important piece of equipment I had to wear. The older kids would tell horror stories about coaches who would do cup checks by letting a bat pendulum swing into your crotch. While wearing a cup and jock strap as a kid was an uncomfortable experience, the fear of a sadistic sociopath of a coach crushing my manhood was much worse.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Scooter Gennett had the game of his life yesterday. Well, isn’t he Vespecial? You say to me, “Unkie Grey, can I sit on your lap metaphorically and you tell me why Scooter hit so many homers?” Sure, Nephew, it’s simple. A story of my Scooter in two tweets:
Someone left me a note w/ stock tips, but didn’t specify what bike company pic.twitter.com/1ikcQpTgYY
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 6, 2017
I SEE WHAT YOU MEAN NOW PERSON WHO LEFT ME A NOTE ABOUT MY PARKING, I SHOULDN’T HAVE PARKED MY SCOOTER ON MY BENCH! pic.twitter.com/S42hZlEOQ0
— Razzball (@Razzball) June 7, 2017
I am the first person in the history of fantasy baseball to bench two hitters for games with at least three home runs in the same season. *opens oven, sticks head in oven, opens The Bell Jar to read* Ugh, could someone check on the pilot light? You might be asking yourself why I had Scooter on my bench, while you coyly bat your eyelashes. I’ll explain, you coquettish bastard! He was hitless the entire previous week! WHAT THE EFF?! Any hoo! Scooter had a big game, and will now be invited to all the same parties as Mark Whiten, but Scooter is not much more than a hot schmotato. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Do you know the difference between Anthony Rendon and Kris Bryant? Well if we are comparing them from a points league perspective, the answer is “very little at all”. The two have posted extremely similar numbers so far this season. To be more precise, Rendon has 145 points and Bryant has 146. And while we’re comparing, Bryant has had 16 additional plate appearances. While I’d obviously prefer to have Bryant, I just wanted to point out how much of a return Rendon’s owners are getting on their draft day investment.
Anthony Rendon led all batters with 43 points in week 8. Sadly, no one in the contest picked him. Next was Lucas Duda with 39. No one picked the Duda either. Then Charlie Blackmon (35 and Unpickable), Adam Duvall (35), Anthony Rizzo (33 and Unpickable) and Jordy Mercer (30). It’s not until Jose Abreu and Melky Cabrera, each with 29 points, do we find a batter that was picked by someone in week 8.
You Know Nothing, J.T. Snow picked Melky, but he was not the week’s winner. That honor goes to Smallwine who selected Jose Abreu, Jose Bautista and Michael Conforto for a total of 71 points. After finishing second in week 7, Smallwine jumped right back in the saddle and took care of business. Nice work! Don’t under do it finished second with 64 points.
Here are the top 5 from Week 8:Please, blog, may I have some more?
This isn’t about what Amed Rosario can do when he’s promoted. I mean, that will be in here, but we’re getting to the point in the season where Super Twos are super-done with the minors. So, what the flying Mr. Met middle finger is a Super Two? I love baseball, but we need to move past the language that sounds like it needs to be explained by an attorney. I don’t know football, but do they have situations where players can’t play until a certain date due to salary arbitration and is that date different for every player? Of course not, football fans can barely figure out offsides — Grey’s dragging people! Novel concept: baseball says all rookies can come up on June 1st and that’s it! Nothing else! Lose Super Two! Super Two sounds like a toddler that is big for his or her size or a large turd, which may be one in the same depending on your POV. As for Amed Rosario, Prospector Ralph just gave you his Amed Rosario fantasy. To pull some quotes from there, “Crabs, haters, and countrymen…on a limb here…is the peculiar case of Amed Rosario.” What is he smoking? Hmm, maybe it was my pulling of quotes. In summation, he’s hitting .350 with five homers and 11 steals through 51 games in Triple-A, and he’s more than ready to play every day for the Mets, so promote him and stop being a super pooper too! Ouch. I need a nap after that one. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Astros exploded for 17 runs yesterday, and it was the second game in the last three where they scored at least 16 runs. Twins pitching, “Hold my beer…” Am I doing that right? The hero of the Astros’ offense, and a man that is widely known as George Jefferson Springer led the way with 4-for-4, 4 runs and his 12th homer and 13th homers, hitting .265. The only thing missing from George Springer‘s game is saving a baby that is stuck in a tree and/or figuring out a way to ensure future babies don’t get stuck in the same tree (and maybe some steals). Serious question, why is Springer hitting leadoff and Jose Altuve (1-for-4, 2 runs, hitting .319) in the two-hole? It’s not hurting the Astros, but it is hurting my fantasy teams’ RBI totals! Evan Gattis (4-for-6, 3 runs, 3 RBIs and his 4th homer) needs to hit cleanup? How about Alex Bregman (2-for-6, 2 RBIs and his 6th homer) hits cleanup, Marwin Gonzalez (2-for-5, 3 runs, 2 RBIs and his 12th homer) hits fifth, Gattis sixth and Yulieski Gurriel (1-for-5, 1 run, 2 RBIs) hits eighth or lower? Is that the most obvious thing I’ve ever said in my life? Okay, after the time I said, “I’m not going up in any hot air balloon.” All right, also not as obvious as the time I said, “I’m lost,” after driving around for two hours pretending I knew where I was going. Fine, also after the time I said, “I can’t bench press 55 pounds.” After those things, this is the most obvious thing I’ve ever said. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Over the past few weeks, Yasmani Grandal has been one of the hottest hitters in baseball. Despite being a pinch-hitter who sometimes wears the wrong helmet, he has been hitting .345 with a .392 wOBA over his last 30 days. Part of that has to do with an unsustainable .409 BABIP during that span, but most of it has to do with Grandal being locked in and being more aggressive at the plate. While he has a history of being frustrating to fantasy owners who aren’t utilizing him in OPS or OBP leagues, Hot Yasmani has been very different this season.
Regular Yasmani is a patient hitter who posts OBPs 100 points higher than a mediocre AVG, who walks 15% of the time and strikes out 25% of the time. He can hit home runs but hurts AVG in standard leagues. Last season, he rewarded fantasy owners with 27 home runs, which is great, especially at the catcher position. But, again, he hit just .228, struck out 25.4% of the time, and recorded just 86 hits. That means a third of his hits went for home runs. With 116 strikeouts and 62 walks, it also means that he either struck out or walked 50% of the time. Other than the home runs (which, again, are great to get at the catcher spot), those numbers are fine for OBP/OPS leagues but are not ideal for your standard leagues.
Hot Yasmani, 2017 Yasmani, is a different story. Hot Yasmani has no time for patience at the plate. He wants to eat. HY’s BB% over the last 30 days is less than 6%, and it’s below 10% on the year. He already has 42 hits and is on pace for well over 100 for the first time in his career. He his hitting around .300 after hitting below .235 the last four seasons. The home runs are down, for now, but he is making up for it with career marks in nearly every other offensive category (except walks, of course). I included HY in this week’s Top 100 because he is no longer just posting good numbers for a catcher; he’s one of the hottest hitters not named Charles Cobb Blackmon (full name, look it up) right now.
Now, for a few guys who are not so hot right now…Please, blog, may I have some more?
I have no time to be wasting time on the mic, so lets get to it! Hunter Renfroe has power, like, majorly, and now in his age 25 season he’s only going to get more. If he’s available in your OPS league or you need power go get him now. Did you check? Add him? Ok, now I’ll tell you why. A first-rounder out of Mississippi State he’s Mississippi through and through, born in beautiful Crystal Springs (I’ve never been there, I have no idea if it’s beautiful…and a quick image search yields…it’s not a tourist destination unless small towns of 5,000 people with some lakes and nice foliage and gravel roads are your thing, then have at it, not that I can’t appreciate and enjoy them as well mind you). Renfroe has shown good power in the minors, hitting 21, 20, 30 homers in his past three minor league seasons to go along with 13 homers in 227 PAs between this season and the last in the bigs.
Renfroe has scuffled a little bit through late April into May so his .734 OPS isn’t looking great but he’s been hot the last couple weeks with a 1.125 OPS and four homers in that span. You know what I like best about his recent stats? A 15% walk rate, which is way higher than his career numbers of 4%; already this season even with that weaker OPS his walk rate is 7.3%, so his eye is improving, too.
Lastly, this website has the hots for him too as Grey recommended him back in November and Ralph had him as the #24 prospect going into 2017. So if you didn’t add him at the beginning of this like I told you to, go do it now. The Padres are home against the Cubs and Rockies this week.
Top OPS past 14 days (min 30 ABs as of this writing):Please, blog, may I have some more?
For this Buy on Adam Frazier, we are hoping C**nt Hurdle doesn’t mysteriously bench Frazier for, say, Jose Osuna, Alen Hanson or John Jaso. You’re thinking to yourself, “No way Hurds benches a guy that’s batting near-.360. No way Hurds does this to a guy that regularly hit for a .300+ average in the minors. No way Hurds does this with a guy that had a .400+ OBP in the minors and with an OBP near-.450 in the majors.” Yeah, well, Hurds and way, Little Miss Muffet. I have no proof of this, but I think C**nt Hurdle came up with the idea for gas station TV. Not that there’s anything dumb about TV above the pumps while you get gas, but it’s so stupid that every 15 seconds it says, “Welcome to Gas Station TV!” Imagine this anywhere else, “Hello, and welcome to living room TV!” “Welcome back to guest bedroom TV, after just telling you that you were watching guest bedroom TV literally 15 seconds ago!” “We now interrupt the conclusion for this week’s Better Call Saul finale to tell you exactly where you are.” That Hurdle came up with announcing Gas Station TV every 15 seconds tells you how smart this guy is. Frazier does appear to be as good as most leadoff guys around the league for OBP and speed. Think a poor man’s Ender. I will call him, Watching The Ending Of A Show On Gas Station TV. Anyway, here’s some more players to Buy or Sell this week in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Okay, this is weird, but Sonny Gray and I are complete opposites. Sonny Gray is in Bay Area, and it’s Grey Albright in Los Angeles. Weather you like it or not, that’s weird! Pun noted too! Grey Albright plays fantasy baseball; Sonny Gray plays reality baseball! It’s freaking me out! Grey Albright’s face is mustachioed; Sonny Gray’s is not. Sonny Gray is athletic; I am not. He works for a newspaper called Ballrazz, which is super-terse and serious. It’s uncanny! Yesterday, Gray (him) went 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 11 Ks, lowering his ERA to 3.34. Okay, time to take a new look. I did like him at one point in his career, before everything went sideways. His velocity and two-seam fastball are back. Right now, his two-seam is his best pitch, however, his curve is not back to where it was in 2015. Watching some video on him showed a guy that can get swings and misses, but had a bit of a favorable strike zone yesterday. I’d be careful in shallower leagues, but he looks closer to his breakout from two years ago than he has in a while. Now, if he’s married to a younger woman, I’m gonna plotz over all of our opposites. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?