Spare me while I talk about my team for a moment. I almost missed out on my head to head playoffs. Another team grabbed the final spot one week before the postseason was to begin. Oh no, it was that mean old Mr.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Mets went into their minor league system and pulled a giant rabbit out of their hat with Matt Harvey. *terrible Jimmy Stewart impression* Mr. Potter, I knew a Harvey once. Back in 1955, see, and Danny Kaye asked me to sneak this guy named Harvey out of his bedroom at 2 AM.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Adam Eaton went 2-for-6 with a run yesterday as the Diamondbacks called up their outfield prospect, and hit him leadoff. The move is to fill in for Krispie, who’s out with a sore quad. Krispie could return (he won’t go to the DL because with 40-man rosters, there’s no need to), but Eaton’s not coming up to play in one game a week.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This weekend, my Cougar’s dog had diarrhea all over my foot. So, I wrote a list of Don’ts and taped it to his bed. 1. Do not poop my foot. 2. Do not ever poop my foot. Seriously. 3. There’s no three.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Baltimore Orioles’ top prospect Manny Machado showed us exactly why he’s their top prospect last night, putting on an impressive display of power in just his second major league game with two home runs and four RBIs. OMGDROPEVERYTHINGANDGOPICKHIMUP!!! Well, not exactly.Please, blog, may I have some more?
C.C. Sabathia was sensational Friday night as he held the Mariners to 3 runs and just 3 hits in a complete game, striking out 10. With the loss, the Mariners impressive win streak ends at seven. Poor Sea-Seattle, but no surprise their impossible dream ends in Yankee Stadium.Please, blog, may I have some more?
First Stanton, now Joey Votto. I got two good knees. Take my knees. Please! I take my knees everywhere and they always find their way home. I will attempt to put into words how distraught I was over losing Votto, but Autocorrect tried to change put into pout, so even it knows this isn’t going to be easy.Please, blog, may I have some more?
On Christmas day, 2009, the Mets signed an obscure knuckleballer named R.A. Dickey. The cynical Mets’ fans whispered to each other that the Wilpon family, owners of the franchise, were broke, as a result of the Bernie Madoff scandal, and all they could afford to sign was a mediocre 35 year old career nomad, who had been tried and discarded by four major league franchises.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Tim Lincecum has a 6.07 ERA. Seriously, we’re in July and Lincecum’s ERA is six point oh seven. There’s ugly. There’s brutal. There’s murderous. There’s the guy with the goiter down the street from you that you talked to at a red light once and now he wants to hang out.Please, blog, may I have some more?