It’s trade deadline time, a full baseball weekend, and Grey is at a crawfish festival asking ladies whether he has any chum in his moustache. Anyway, the Indians spoiled the Yanks and Sawx plans by nabbing Ubaldo for a bunch of prospects including their top two pitching prospects (Drew Pomeranz and Alex White).Please, blog, may I have some more?
While balancing a book on their head, the Blue Jays were poised to call up Brett Lawrie just when he fractured his hand. That’s worst timing than the guy down at your local Chuckles nightclub doing an open mic set. But flip our Supreme Buddha In Funny Poses day calender two months later and the hand is healed. In two weeks at Triple-A since his return, he’s hitting near .350 with a homer. Or as Lawrie would say on Twitter #yabuddy. “You want to convey your emotional state while giving the most information possible, all in under 140 characters.” That’s Lawrie explaining Twitter to his Grammie. Lawrie should be up in the next two weeks. So you have to decide if a .300 hitter with good power and speed at 2nd base is worth sitting on your bench until his call up. #yabuddy Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:
Hideki Matsui – Hello, time travelers from 2004. You are not in 2004 anymore. You are in 2011. Hideki Matsui is just hitting again. Though that is not Madonna on your radio, that is Lady Gaga.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Jonny Gomes was acquired by the Washington Nationals. This is exciting for Gomes’s family and any National fans who like to make signs for the games but can’t write the letter H. Gomes will platoon with Nix and, if anything, his value is hurt a bit by the home venue change. The real story is the call up of Reds prospect, Yonder Alonso. In 353 ABs in Triple-A this year, Alonso had 12 homers and 6 steals with a .297 average. I took all the prospect reports on Alonso and put through my supercomputer and out came, “Should develop into a 20+ homer hitter with a great eye. Reds TV can save time by eliminating instant replay because he runs like he’s in slow mo.” His starting time may be iffy in Cincy, platooning in left field. Did this stop me from grabbing him? Well, to use one of the worst songs of all time, I’d rather hurt you with honesty than mislead you with a lie so I’ll just come out and tell you I grabbed Alonso in every league where I could. My leagues are deep though, so in most mixed leagues you can wait to see his playing time. In keepers and NL-Only leagues, you proceed without caution. Or no caveat emptor, for our friends in Latin America. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Bautista – Left yesterday’s game after getting beaned in the melon. He left on his own power and is being called day-to-day with no signs of a concussion. Maybe the hit on the head will have him return as Jason Bourne. That would be cool. Then he bring down Aaron Hill for trying to kill my fantasy teams.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Giants brought Brandon Belt back up from the minors where he was batting .293 with 3 homers in 12 games in July. Last time he was recalled it was the Giants doing their best fill-a-Buster and Belt was a bench bat. The time before that he was promoted and forgot his game back in Fresno. “A box of sparklers, a Groupon to the Macaroni Grill, Brandon Belt’s game.” That’s someone going through a lost and found in Fresno. So those two negatives led to two (stutterer!) positives. Bochy started Belt at first and he homered. I’d look at Belt in all leagues for his sweet, sweet upside, but don’t drop anyone too good or it could end up smacking you upside your head. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Psyche! Before we get into today’s roundup, wanted to mention that the fantasy football leagues are signing up over at our sister site, and I’m using the word sister like in Oz. You click that linkie-ma-who and it’ll take you there. It’s magic! Anyway II, here’s the roundup:
Jeff Keppinger – Of course, Sabean acquired Keppinger. Rogers Hornsby was unavailable. Keppinger is a defensive upgrade on the usual flat-footed vet Sabean brings over like Burrell, who plays the mannequin defense. Most times the defense alignment means moving guys in and out, right and left. The mannequin defense requires them deciding if they want to play their fielders with their gloves in the air for a fly ball or on the ground because once the ball is hit there is no time for them to move their arms.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I think I made up the word excellers, but it should be a word, so add it into your Merriam-Webster, who was not a spinoff character from that Emmanuel Lewis show. Never the hoo! Here’s some 2nd half hitters for fantasy baseball who should be better than they were in the first half. To come up with this list, I scoured the last three years of post-All-Star Break numbers, ran it through a supercomputer that’s bigger than your Peugeot, pasted the supercomputer-generated names to my shirt like dollar bills on a wedding dress then went to a palm reader to help me pick ten names out of the thousands. The palm reader’s name was Erica Karabell; she said there was no relation. Anyway, here’s the best 2nd half fantasy baseball hitters for 2011:
Derrek Lee – Last year, he played the 2nd half like he was walking onto a yacht with an apricot scarf. In 2009, .336 with 18 homers. Last year, .298 with 9 homers compared to a .233 average in the 1st half. I still don’t really like Derrek Lee compared to a lot of names, but he’ll come a lot cheaper than most.Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Wright has a stress fracture in his lower back. It’s the new Mets, same as the old Mess! I find it hard to believe this is still The Curse of the Shirtless Bernazard, but who else is evil eyeing them? George Foster? (BTW, If George Foster ever evil eyed you for longer than 5 seconds, you’d turn to stone. Fact!) The Mets are downplaying Wright’s injury, but what else is new with the Mets? Let’s look at their truthiness in some recent reports: In 2009, “Reyes will be out for a few days.” In reality, he’s only fully recovered two years later. In 2009, “Beltran will be out for three to five days.” In reality, he missed two seasons. “K-Rod and his stepfather, an up and coming videographer, were remaking the “Beat It” video.” In reality, K-Rod blew Kabuki white powder into his stepfather’s face and hit him over the head with a metal chair. So the Mets are saying Wright might miss only a week and a half to two weeks. Um, okay. Even if he returns quickly, a stress fracture in his lower back isn’t going to hurt his power? Yeah, that’s rhetorical. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Jose Reyes – 2-for-5, 2 steals. Now has 16 steals on the year. How do you motivate overpaid athletes? With the allure of being vastly overpaid.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Zack Greinke fractured his rib while playing basketball. Word is he jumped from the free throw line and tried to dunk over the Brewers’ 2011 expectations. Prince Fielder would’ve missed the shot before looking bad. Since we just drafted Gallardo, I’m glad he doesn’t play hoops with Yovani. Greinke will miss 3 starts, so take him from 220 IP to 200 IP or the equivalent of 3 rounds, or $20 to $16 in 12 team mixed leagues. (BTW, Point Shares for AL-Only and NL-Only have been added.) In my top 20 starters for 2011 fantasy baseball post, I was already pretty realistic (read: not crazy optimistic) with Greinke so I’m not changing my projections or ranking. I.e., I do what I do, you do what you do and together we do what we do. Anyway, here’s some more news for fantasy baseball:
Corey Hart – Was already avoiding him in all leagues this year and now he has a sharp pain by his strained oblique. I wouldn’t touch him with your team. Hart’s hoping his trip to the doctor can figure out what ails him. Never surrender, Corey Hart!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The top 10 and 20 for 2011 fantasy baseball are in the bag, along with the top 20 catchers and your receipt for a $30 massage valued at $50. Thanks, Groupon! Today, Razzhands, we look at the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball. All this shizz can be found under the 2011 fantasy baseball rankings. Don’t believe me? Click the link. This top 20 list of 1st basemen is the opposite of the catchers, it is bursting at the seams like you at a Hometown Buffet. Speaking of gorging yourself, I want a top 1st baseman on my team in 2011. Sure, the list is deep, but 10 of these guys will probably be gone by the 4th round. Do you really want to go to battle with, say, Lance Berkman when someone else has, say, Ryan Howard? I don’t. I want to be one of the teams with a top 1st baseman. This list will get additional 1st basemen added to it in the way of sleeper posts. As with the other rankings, the first basemen are broken up into tiers with my projections included. Anyway, here’s the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball:
1.Please, blog, may I have some more?
The Braves should totally give Derrek Lee the number 01 and paint him orange. Too bad Waylon Jennings isn’t around anymore to announce him when he comes up to bat. Lee-haw! The Cubs received back Tyrelle Harris, who I believe is a male model, Robinson Lopez, who dispenses candy from his neck, and Jeffrey Lorick, who owns the Marlins. Derrek Lee has hit 4 homers in his last four games and his numbers should only continue to trend upwards as we head into the home stretch. I could see him getting to 24 homers on the year; he’s at 16. Do the math! The real LUZR in this is Troy Glaus, who the Braves put on the DL with a severe case of We-Don’t-Want-To-Play-You-Anymore-itis. It’s curable, but you usually need a new team. Kelly Johnson had a similar malady when he played for the Braves. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Xavier Nady – 1-for-3 as he played 1st base yesterday, but Micah Hoffpauir was recalled. Hip-hip-Hoffpauir! Not really. I wouldn’t pick him up in any league until I saw him start hitting.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Yesterday, the Oakland A’s hit Kevin Slowey about as well as Elmer Fudd can pronounce his name. After missing last week’s start with a sore elbow, it was a great sign that he took a no-hitter into the 8th inning, only to be lifted for precautionary reasons. After the game, Precautionary Reasons said, “Don’t blame me, blame Gardenhire.” Well, whoever you believe, Slowey still had his best start of the season, which came only one start removed from his 2nd best start of the season, which came after a quality start. I guess what I’m confusingly trying to say is he’s been good over the last month aside from his last start vs.Please, blog, may I have some more?