On a scale of one to ten for most surprising starters, Patrick Corbin is a one. One being the best. When you beat your high score in Mario Kart you never scream out, “I’m number ten,” do you? Okay, so don’t question my numbering. On a scale of one to ten for how likely it is Corbin keeps this up, it’s around a 5, the number made famous by Short Circuit. Didja know before Short Circuit people would count 1, 2, 3, 4, 6? It’s also why Marilyn Monroe left Joe DiMaggio. Corbin’s not a 1.44 ERA pitcher, but he’s not what he seemed like coming into the year either. His fastball has jumped in velocity, which has helped all of his pitches. I don’t own him, which butters my grr’s. I know most of you must’ve benched him in Coors yesterday for his 10 K, 9-inning, three-hitter gizzem, so I’ll say it for you, sonavabench! Luckily, you own him for the whole season and he looks like he can be a mid-3 ERA, 1.20 WHIP, 7 K-rate guy, i.e., a fantasy two to three. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
The World Baseball Classic news hit the wire first, “Team USA will add another first baseman; Team Yankees will add another leading doctor in the world of performance-enhancing drugs.” Team USA added Eric Hosmer, Team Yankees added a guy with a peach fuzz mustache, a B.U.M. equipment sweatshirt and red, white and blue Zubaz who goes by the name, Rick, and graduated Magna Cum Laude from the University of Phoenix. Team USA said that whole thing about Votto being a Canadian was total BS, Rick said he trained with Lance Armstrong. Team USA no longer has Mark Teixeira, neither does Team Yankees. But Rick’s got a plan. It worked for Lance Armstrong and A-Rod. Drink carrot milkshakes and inject horse semen. “These are my stallions.” That’s Rick overlooking his kingdom (a musty cellar with bad lightning). John C. Reilly is in talks to play him. So, if Te(i)x being hurt is a surprise to you, I wouldn’t want to see you when a cat jumps out of a closet. He will miss eight to ten weeks after hearing a pop in his wrist. He might miss more time. Right now, Cashman isn’t optimistic. I changed my Te(i)x projections and rankings in the top 20 1st basemen; I don’t foresee me drafting him anywhere. They’re no longer the Yankees, they’re now the Jankees. At first base, they’re looking at the craptastic Dan Johnson/Juan Rivera blahtoon or the more likely scenario of Youuuuuuuuuk moving to first and Nunez (and his razztastic defense) over at third. Will suck for any Jankee LHPs to have Pasta Diving Jeter and Errordo Nunez. Today, Mets fans are smiling. If you can’t beat them, pray they join you! Anyway, here’s what else I saw in spring training for fantasy baseball:Please, blog, may I have some more?
Another week older and closer to the all-star game. Where we can look forward to listening to about 600 comments about the waterfall in Kauffman Stadium. We get it, it’s a waterfall in a baseball park; my koi pond has one too but you don’t see them sauntering about with uniforms having a home run derby.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Johan Santana threw the first no-hitter in Mets history last night and boy his arm must be tired! He tossed a career high 134 pitches. The game was Johan’s second consecutive shutout versus what many to believe to be one of the leagues best offenses in St.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Hey, I can bench Eric Hosmer! That was the first thing I thought when I picked up Matt Adams. First stop for Hosmer is my bench, next stop waivers. Yesterday, our prospect writer Scott said this about Adams, “Despite the impressive audition (in Spring Training), St.Please, blog, may I have some more?
David Robertson to the DL for three weeks with a left oblique strain. 2009 was the Year of the Oblique, then there was the Middle Infieluenza Outbreak of Twenty-Ten, and 2011 was a war between General Soreness and Major Discomfort. This year is The Closepocalypse. If you’re a closer and gonna go to the DL, at least get your make-believe plague right.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Well, here we are in week 3 already, wonder if ML bee will have another opening game just to keep it fresh. The world of two-start pitchers is in full bloom, the rotations are coming together and being set in an orderly fashion.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I started writing this week and kept getting distracted by the notion of a “tease” starting pitcher. These are guys we all see available every week at the top of our waiver wire. For some reason they hop on and off rosters, faster than the Easter Bunny. They all for some reason have an attractive quality, whether it be a great matchup, a previous decent start or just a general boyish quality that we find irresistible. We see the numbers they produce and sometimes numbers tell a different story than what really is going on for fantasy purposes. In the end, it comes down to picking a starting pitcher in a must win week is the same place that $30 steak goes to digest. So with the eve of playoffs upon us, here are the lower end 2 start options for the week. Good luck and happy fantasying.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Linguist, academic and all-around good guy with a lot of free time on his hands, David Crystal says there’s been no definitive research on how many people are actually laughing out loud when they type out el oh el (Thanks, Wikipedia!). I’m guessing the number is less than 50% and the number of people actually rolling on the floor laughing when they type that dopey acronym is far less. I bring this up to impress on you the amount of things read on the internet that turn out to be false. With all that said (and it was a lot, wasn’t it?), the internet tells me the Yankees are going to promote Jesus Montero in the next couple of weeks. If you read that and no streamers or balloons fell from the ceiling, then pull the rip cord harder. In keeper leagues, he should be owned already. If he’s not, I’m assuming you’re in an NL-Only league or a mixed league filled with atheists. Back in February, the two thousand and eleventh year of Jesus Montero’s call up, I gave him the projections of 20/5/30/.290 in 100 at-bats. Still sounds about right. I’m a God, mortal! Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Hanley Ramirez – Day-to-day with a sprained shoulder. That sounds like nothing for a guy who plays through injuries and just lives and breathes the game like he’s Luke Appling or some other old timey player. Unfortunately, that’s not Hanley Ramirez. My guess is he’ll miss at least five to seven games.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Already thin 3rd base position just got a lot thinner with Pablo Sandoval breaking his hamate bone. When Sandoval first heard the bad news, he pulled a half-eaten ham bone out of his pocket and asked if the doctor could insert it in the injured bone’s place. He couldn’t. Sandoval now knows how Rikki Lake feels when she lost all that weight then lost her job. Sometimes fatty boombalatties are best to stay fatty boombalatties. Hey, I don’t make the world, I just live in it. So, Sandoval will miss up to 2 months with surgery and rehab. His blimpotence was already an issue and hamate bone breaks tend to zap power further. It’s not a good day to own Sandoval. Yesterday wasn’t very good either. Tomorrow probably won’t be much better. Then on Wednesday…Well, you get the point. When Mark DeRosa returns, he stands to see an increase in ABs, for those in NL-Only leagues who just need counting stats. Anyway, here’s what else I saw this weekend in fantasy baseball:
Ryan Zimmerman – Will miss 6 weeks with a tear of the rectus muscle in his abdomen. Why does he have an anus in his stomach?Please, blog, may I have some more?