Achilles (Tennessee Mash – RCL 25) had another good week and increased their lead in the overall standings. Josh Hamilton, Joey Votto, Jay Bruce, Ted Lilly, and Brandon Morrow were the key performers for the top team. Their relievers were also strong, allowing just 4 runs in 18 innings of work. Trini’s team (also with Hamilton), Psychic Friends Network (RCL 22), took over 2nd spot while Navseal 7 (RCL 9) slipped to third. RCL 9 continued to hold the title of “Toughest League,” but perennial contenders ECFBL and Schmohawk in Training are right on their heels.
Washington’s Stache (Toads and Wet Rocks) gained 25 points and jumped from 464th to 136th place in the standings. Norce Force (Hotel, Dotel, Halladay Inge) also improved by 25 points, and moved into the top 20 from 257th.
Grey mentioned this week that RCL teams should be able to keep their ERA under 3.50. Right now, only 43% of teams are managing that. A couple wise commenters opined that all the relievers blowing up was making it difficult. It is tough to separate the RP stats to study, but they do seem to be frequently ruining ratios.
Expert League: RotoWire Del Don (Dalton Del Don) took over the lead after a week where he jumped from 70 to 90 points on the strength of solid pitching. He recorded 5 wins and 7 saves with ratios of 1.82 and 1.05, along with 80 strikeouts. Rudy and Grey each lost a few points this week, and sit in 5th and 6th respectively.
Trades: There were 19 trades this week, bringing the total for the year to 98. Albert Pujols was traded a twice – both times by Al Koholic. In the ECFBL, last-place Al gambled on Ryan Howard and Bryce Harper, trading Albert and Ernesto Frieri to first-place The Fredsies for the pair plus Rafael Dolis. In RCL Original Recipe, he sent Pujols and Grant Balfour to Popeye’s n Beer Recipe4disaster for Jay Bruce and David Freese. With Pujols continuing to struggle and Balfour losing the closer job, so far it looks like Al came out ahead in this one. Tim Lincecum and Nelson Cruz were also dealt twice, including in RCL 38 where they were traded for each other. In Cracking The WHIP, the Dukes of Flatbush traded Alex Rios and Matt Cain to eye-talian backstop for Cruz and Bryce Harper. Team Beardown sent Lincecum and Anibal Sanchez to Bushwood Varmint Cong for Brandon Morrow, Johnny Cueto, and Edward Mujica in Epic Beardmen Division. In a somewhat questionable deal in Cust Kayin’, Pimpin Nipples gave up Troy Tulowitzki and Jordan Walden to acquire Jason Kipnis and Rafael Betancourt. You can find all the trades in the fantasy baseball forums. Look for the RCL under “Everything Else.”
Weekly Leaders
Norce Force was the top hitting team this week. They hit .339 with 27 home runs and 70 RBI, 60 runs, and 10 steals.Not surprisingly, they own Josh Hamilton (.467/10 Runs/9 HR/18 RBI). Carlos Beltran (.360/6 HR/13 RBI), Joey Votto (.429/3 HR/8 RBI), and Andrew McCutchen (.524/3 HR/1 SB) also provided big numbers.
Washington’s Stache set the pace on the mound with an ERA of 2.35 and 1.20 WHIP with 83 Ks, 9 wins, and 3 saves. Their lineup featured Edinson Volquez (2 Wins/10 K), Derek Holland (Win/0.00/1.00), Jordan Zimmermann (Win/ 9 K) and Brandon Morrow (Win/10 K).
Ks: 86 (Kemp Keep Me Down – Yu Ain’t Goldschmidt) Wins: 9 (Washington’s Stache – Toads and Wet Rocks, All about The WHIP – RCL 43) Saves: 10 (Tennessee Jed – Robust Herd, Pliny the Elder – Myrtle’s Acres) ERA: 1.07 (Bang Biscuit – RCL 41) WHIP: 0.92 (Big Cuntry – Ones are GOOD right?, The AmishGangster – Epic Beardmen Division)
TEAM OF THE WEEK – May 7 – 13
Norce Force (Hotel, Dotel, Halladay Inge)
100/295 (.339)
60 R/27 HR/70 RBI/10 SB
72.2 IP
60K/3 W/2.48/1.03/3 S
As mentioned above, Norce Force led the RCL in hitting, and their pitching was solid, lacking only in wins. Brandon Morrow (10 K) and Derek Holland (0.00/1.00) did pick up wins, while A.J. Burnett had 14 strikeouts in 2 starts with an ERA of 2.25 and WHIP of 0.81.
In the doubleheader, Nate Schierholtz went 6-for-10 with a homer, 2 runs, 3 RBIs, steal and back-to-back-to-back-to-back-to-back-etc. starts from Bochy, go ahead with your big head self! “This is the year Schierholtz breaks out! And fill up my Merlot!” That’s every Giants fan for the last three years. Then within a few weeks, he’s usually hurt. If Schierholtz is indeed German for pantyhose, he sure gets rips in them quickly. Maybe he should bathe in clear nail polish. (See, ladies, Grey doesn’t forget about you.) Schierholtz has power, he just needs to stay healthy. For now, I’d pick him up in all leagues. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Tim Lincecum – Good news: 5 IP, 1 ER, 8 Ks. Bad news: 4 hits, 5 walks, 108 pitches. Reminds me of my stat lines when playing backyard Wiffle Ball. Maybe Timmy needs to throw to a Pitchback instead of a Posey.
Mike Gonzalez – Boras said Gonzalez is expected to sign with a club in the next ten days. Boras better get a deal fast before the terrible closer bubble bursts.
Lorenzo Cain – Expected to come off the DL on Friday. Make room in your fantasy cupboard for Cain…Sugar!
Josh Donaldson – After starting the year on a sub-.100 anti-tear, the A’s brushed him aside like the ABC makeup lady used to do to his grandfather’s hair. He will be sorely missed by opposing pitchers, Fantasy Razzball managers, and frustrated owners in 2-catcher leagues who hoped he could outperform the Barajii of the league.
Adrian Beltre – Should return soon as the MRI showed his leg was normal. Right above the foot and below the hip.
Francisco Liriano – Twins will skip his next start. Guess that’s easier and more legal than getting John McDonald to drop a knee on his head.
Josh Willingham – Out until Friday on maternity leave. A lesson in the birds and the bees brought to you by Grey Albright: Nine months ago there was a Drillingham with a throbbing lardon, asking to porker and now there’s a baby back.
Derek Holland – 6 IP, 7 ER, 13 baserunners, 1 K. An embarrassment to pitchers and mustaches everywhere.
Josh Hamilton – 1-for-4 with his 8th homer as everyone who didn’t draft Hamilton continues to have their balloon Burrst.
Hunter Pence – Missed yesterday with a sore shoulder. Chase Utley scoffed and raised him a sore everything.
Michael Bowden – The key piece in the Byrd trade is headed to the bullpen as predicted here first after reading it elsewhere. He was a top pitching prospect once, but had a pedestrian K-rate as a starter in AAA so they turned him into a closer where he showed some signs of dominance (10+ K/9). Nothing to see right now, but, if he has some early success and Marmol is traded (as I think he will be), Bowden could be saving games by the end of the year.
Cody Ross – 2 HRs yesterday and another one on Saturday (his last game). Hot schmotato!
Daniel Bard – Shut the door yesterday in the 8th inning, but Bobby Valentine said that there’s no “great temptation” to have Bard stay in the bullpen. In related news, Valentine is going for psychological testing.
Jake Peavy – 9 IP, 0 ER, 5 baserunners, 5 Ks. Now has an ERA of 1.88. I told you to draft him in the preseason, I drafted him in the preseason and then I dropped him. Why do you make me rue? I don’t wish to rue. I’m fine with no ruing. I’m stirring butter and flour in my soul!
Alex Rios – 3-for-5, hitting .360 on the season and hitting about .500 over the last week. Cust kayin’.
Dontrelle Willis – The O’s confirmed that they signed Willis. This was hilarious to me. I imagine the O’s front office said, “Dah! Yes, we signed Willis. Stop mocking us!”
Chris Capuano – 7 IP, 1 ER, 10 baserunners, 5 Ks. Is it the Year of the Cap? Not probably, no. But he could have end of the rotation appeal in mixed leagues and be one of those guys that’s cheap in NL-Only leagues that can really help you.
Michael Pineda – Headed for an MRI on Tuesday. Here’s the Cliff Notes of a book I wrote (besides this one). The name of this other book, “Signs of Trouble for Your Fantasy Starter.” Chapter One: If your starter is shut down and almost a month later they need an MRI, it’s not good.
CC Sabathia – 8 IP, 4 ER, 8 baserunners, 8 Ks as he has an ERA of 5.27. Without looking at our Player Rater, I’m guessing his FIP is much lower.
Derek Jeter – 4-for-5, 2 runs, 1 RBI, batting .411. So is he an Early Bird Special or a (Fill-in blank for term of older player who has a renaissance year. Regarding that term that I asked for with Beltran last week. I liked Ponce De Leon-g Balls, Hologram Tupac and Dead Cat Bounce, but Rudy nixed them.)?
Dillon Gee – 6 2/3 IP, 7 ER. He alternated good start/bad start last year and he’s continuing this trend. It’s pretty uncanny. It’s like his job is to rope in and frustrate streamers and he takes his job very seriously.
Jason Bay – Left yesterday’s game with bruised ribs, which is nowhere near as delicious as braised ribs.
Hideki Matsui – Rumored to be signing a minor league deal with the Rays. The Rays hope he still has a little left in the tank if they need a lefty DH. Matsui just wants a job and heard good things about their potato chips.
Brandon Morrow – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 8 baserunners, 3 Ks. Can we get Scooby on the Case of Morrow’s Missing Ks? He only had 2 starts all last year of 3 Ks or less and he’s already had 3 starts this year like that and his other start was a 4 K effort. His velocity didn’t look bad last night, but I’m starting to get concerned. A guy who walks as many as he does (though he didn’t yesterday), isn’t very cute without Ks.
Krispie Young – Won’t return when his DL stint is up in 15 days. With a ligament tear in his shoulder? Really? Here I thought a ligament tear was a good thing. Just when you think you got the world figured out. Wow. File that in the surpriseapedia.
Wade Miley – 6 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 7 Ks vs. the Phillies (Just think, Phils fans, in another 25 years your team will be good again, not like the Red Sox who have to wait 80 years.), and Bauer’s call-up just took two steps back with this Miley effort. The key word with Miley is serviceable. That makes for good real world pitching and only matchups appeal in fantasy.
Justin Upton – 2-for-3, 2 runs, 2 RBIs as he hit his first homer. Formally document it: In the nick of time, Justin.
Eric Hosmer – 1-for-4 with his 2nd homer in 3 games and 4th on the year. He’s still hitting .203, but I bet he’s about to go on a tear and be hitting near .260 by this time next week. Get it, Hosmer, get it!
Tony Campana – 1-for-1 with 2 steals. He stole 2nd base so fast that he actually overran it, ran all the way around the globe, causing time to rewind, and allowing him to steal 2nd again.
Jason Motte – 2/3 IP, 2 ER and the blown save. What a follower! Ooh, all the cool closers are blowing games so he figured he would too.
Bill Hall – Signing a deal with the Orioles to replace Josh Bell on the Triple-A roster. Bell to Hall? This is a big score for the equipment manager.
I watched Mat Latos yesterday. Now I want an eye transplant with someone that watched Jamie Moyer pitch (not when he was first called up because that eye transplant would have cataracts). I wish I could pinpoint what the problem is with Latos, besides looking terrible. He was hitting 95 MPH on the maybe-a-tad-Reds-friendly radar gun for three straight pitches to Beltran. Unfortunately, he threw all three friggin’ pitches in the exact same spot, so, of course, Beltran turned on one. Then he made the next hitter, Holliday, look terrible with offspeed stuff. Like a bachelorette order form, is there somewhere I can check for him to mix in the junk? Does Mesoraco only have one finger on his pitch-calling hand? Is Latos giving up early runs so Dusty can’t throw him into the 11th inning? How do you even give up 5 earned runs in the first two innings on only 6 baserunners? Is that even mathematically possible with only one two-run homer? Why are you making me wrack my brain? And why are you giving up a two out triples to the opposing pitcher?! Latos gets the Giants next. If he can’t make them look like a team that has only three hitters, and one of which they bench, then Latos is going to my bench for the foreseeable future. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:
Krispie Young – The MRI revealed a ligament tear and who wins this year’s Biggest Loser. Damn you, MRI, and your spoilers! Krispie’s headed to the 15-day DL and the Diamondbacks say he should be fine after a couple of weeks of rest. With a ligament tear in his shoulder? Sounds like they have a ligament tear in their silver lining. This sounds like something that won’t only sideline Krispie for longer than 15 days but also leave him at less than 100% for the rest of the season until an offseason of rest. It’s pretty terrible news. Rico Suave should see the majority of the time in the outfield while Krispie gets himself right. Parra’s pretty yawnstipating from a fantasy perspective for mixed leagues. In NL-Only leagues, he should get you some counting stats. (Wanna hear something that says so much? I added yawnstipating to my computer dictionary. It’s right there in my virtual dictionary next to dork.)
Justin Upton – Where is thumbkin? Back from the MRI to say Upton needs a few days of rest with a bone bruise on his thumb. He did get into yesterday’s game as a pinch runner. Would be just wonderful if he had to slide head first. Hope Kirk Gibson didn’t slo-mo arm pump that in-game move.
A.J. Pollock – 0-for-3 with a caught stealing. How many players does it take to fill-in Krispie’s roster spot? One Pollock. He has good speed (36 SBs last year in the minors), but it’s not clear how much he’ll actually play. Might just be a bat for a few days until Justin’s thumb stops being Upton no good.
Brett Gardner – To the DL with a strained elbow. Huh? What’s he running on his hands like Encino Man? You don’t need an elbow to bunt and run. Put your elbow in a sling and call it macaroni! This kills my RCL team (well, Krispie’s loss kinda hurt that too), but how is there only one DL spot in the RCLs? What were we thinking? Guys (and 4 girls), talk some sense into me Charlotte sometimes, would cha please?
Hiroki Kuroda – 4 1/3 IP, 6 ER, 10 baserunners, 4 Ks. Starts like these in The House They Built Across The Street From The House Ruth Built is the reason why I told people to not draft him.
Lance Berkman – Puma reaggravated his calf injury and might hit the DL. Coincidentally, my Cougar’s out for a day or two with shingles.
Carlos Beltran – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and a slam & legs. That’s 5 homers and 3 steals. Maybe he’s this year’s old player who comes out of nowhere and has a renaissance year. How do we not have a term for this in the glossary? Please suggest in the comments. Thank you.
Brad Lidge – Davey Johnson revealed that Lidge suffers from vertigo. Still waiting for Davey to choose a closer, or more accurately, to explain The Trouble With Henry.
Ivan Rodriguez – Announced his retirement. Let’s remember the days when his nickname Pudge wasn’t ironic due to the banning of illegal substances that caused him to lose all muscle mass. Pour some andro out for him.
Cliff Lee – 10 IP, 0 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. I feel like a ten inning game is more rare than a no hitter. (I probably could find out if that was true at the ol’ Google.) Through 10 innings, he threw 102 pitches and 81 of those were strikes. Let’s just say, The Adverb was more than suffixient.
Bartolo Colon – 8 IP, 0 ER, 4 baserunners, 5 Ks. Lincecum who?
Matt Cain – 9 IP, 0 ER, 3 baserunners, 4 Ks. Bartolo Colon who?
Brian Wilson – Undergoing Tommy John surgery today. They’re still evaluating whether they hairnet his beard or if they have to shave it. If they shave it, the surgery is due to end on Sunday and the homeless family of Lilliputians will need to be relocated.
Brandon Morrow – 6 IP, 6 ER, 11 baserunners, 2 Ks. Walks really got him in this game…and the hits…and the runs…and the lack of Ks.
Mark Buehrle – 8 IP, 1 ER, 6 baserunners, 5 Ks. Of course he pitched a gem. Why wouldn’t he?! Why would I want this kind of start from Latos?! I must be crazy! Yeah, still a little annoyed at Latos. And another thing, if Latos didn’t seem so detestable of a personality, I might be able to let it go!
Joel Hanrahan – Tweaked his Hanrahammy. Should be good to go by the weekend. In his place…
Juan Cruz – Guess who has more saves than Jordan Walden and Heath Bell combined? I grabbed Cruz in one league, then dropped him when I had to fill in for Gardner. Cruz may not see another save all year. If you’re very desperate, then specloselate. (On a related note, I thought of what we can call a top closer’s set-up man, a side salad.)
Grady Sizemore – Cleared for baseball activities. He’ll probably pull his groin scratching himself. I’m only half-punning.
Juan Francisco – 2-for-5, 2 runs, 2 RBIs and his 2nd homer in as many games. The Braves are committed to Glass Chipper like Aguilera should be committed for eliminating Jesse Campbell, but Francisco’s a good name to watch in deep leagues in case he can get more playing time.
Jair Jurrjens – 4 IP, 4 ER. Can the editor who recut Star Wars take Jar-Jar out of the Braves rotation too?
Dan Uggla – 1-for-4, 2 runs, 2 RBIs with his first homer. Still wanna sell him for Skip Schumaker and a bag of Fritos?
Luke Scott – 2-for-5, 4 RBIs and his 3rd homer. Member I said last week to pick him up? Yeah, nothing’s changed yet.
Matt Joyce – 3-for-5, 3 runs, 1 RBI and his 2nd game in a row with a homer. If he’s gonna hit, it will be in the first half. It’s Joyce to wit.
Justin Morneau – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 3 RBIs with his 3rd and 4th homers. Only cussword his fantasy owners are hearing this year is refocused.
Matt Capps – 1 IP, 1 ER and the save. Could he save a game without giving up a run? Just a question.
Kevin Youkilis – 1-for-4, 2 RBIs with his first homer. Youuuuuuuk, speaking through his agent, said, “Tell Valentine there’s his motivation. And Sugarhill Gang invented the rap. So there!”
Lucas Harrell – 6 2/3 IP, 1 ER, 7 baserunners, 4 Ks. Anyone with a rotation spot, you own in NL- or AL-Only leagues, so I grabbed Harrell in an NL-Only league. Never looked at his stats. Just grabbed him. Then he pitched well yesterday for the second time in three starts and I was like, “Hey, this guy’s awesome! I wanna see his minor league stats.” So I Googled his name to see his minor league stats, and Googled asked me, “Are you sure you want to see his minor league stats?” Yes, Google! Give ‘em to me! “Oh.” That was my reaction after seeing his stats. Um, yeah, I wouldn’t touch him in mixed leagues.
Aramis Ramirez – 2-for-4 with his first homer. He’s alive! I think.
Omar Infante – Out until Friday with a groin strain. It happened when he was running away from Hanley carrying a bottle of hair dye.
Pedro Alvarez – 1-for-3 with his 2nd homer. He’s batting .074 on the year. To get results from Alvarez, the Pirates threatened him with a demotion to Triple-A or worse a trade to the Orioles.
Jake Peavy – 7 IP, 1 ER, 4 baserunners, 8 Ks. Yes, you should own him. No, I’m not joking.
A.J. Pierzynski – 2-for-4, 2 RBIs and his 4th homer. When I say hot, you say schmotato.
Doug Fister – Felt renewed discomfort in his abdomen. For Fister owners, that’s a punch to the gut.
Prince Fielder – 2-f0r-4, 2 RBIs and a steal as Major League Baseball tried to increase offense by moving 2nd base five feet from 1st.
Chase Headley – 3-for-4, 3 RBIs and TWO HOMERS? He had two homers the entire 1st half last year, and two homers the entire 2nd half for four (stutterer!) total.
Michael Cuddyer – Homered then left Wednesday’s game with a bruised toe. If Cuddyer needs to miss time, guess who gets some time? No, not Eric Young Jr. Tyler Colvin. Could be some pop there. Keep your eyes peeled in deep leagues.
Juan Nicasio – 6 1/3 IP, 4 ER, 7 baserunners, 5 Ks. Eh, I’ve seen better starts. Buehrle, for instance, that was better, but I’d continue to roll with Nicasio in most leagues.
Derek Holland – 7 IP, 2 ER, 7 baserunners, 7 Ks. Kinda wish I had Holland instead of Latos right now. Okay, I’ll let it go.
Kirk Nieuwenhuis – 3-for-4, 3 runs, 1 RBI and a steal. I’ve seen some people in the comments ask if they should pick up Kirk. Don’t cheat, Razzballers. Ask if you should pick up Nieuwenhuis. If I gotta spell that shizz, so do you. And, yeah, you should pick him up. Kinda like how I’ve been saying that in the last two weeks of Buys. Yesterday, he hit leadoff. That probably won’t hold, but Bay’s name is short for Sickbay, as in he hasn’t been good in years, and Duda hasn’t had much zippity, doo or dah recently.
R.A. Dickey – 4 1/3 IP, 8 ER. More like U.R.A. Dickey.
I could probably draft a team of these starters, who are drafted after the 150 mark in mock drafts, and win your league’s pitching stats. In this post last year was Ricky Romero, Hellickson, Kuroda, Gio Gonzalez, Zimmermann, Chacin, Cueto, and Daniel Hudson. I had those guys on multiple teams. I don’t say this to brag, but I’m really good at targeting starters to, um, target. Well, I’m good with hitters too, but starters I’m really good. I’d like to say it’s because I’m smart, but since I’m sorta dumb I’m not sure what it is. Maybe I’m an idiot savant, who I believe was Doug Savant’s cousin that had a walk-on part on Melrose Place, the Original. And with all of that said, you should still draft a starter or two before you see any of these names on the top of your draft list. Well, you know what to do from my top 20 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. It’s good to have a safe starter or two before you go upside. In the immortal words of some drunk tightrope walker, “I don’t need the net under the trapeze but I want it there. Burp.” There’s also a pitchers pairings post to help you along with your staff. That’s what she said! Wait, what? Finally, you can check out APPLES. Anyway, here’s some starters to target in your 2012 fantasy baseball drafts:
Ubaldo Jimenez – Under that link is my projections and thoughts. To read a less optimistic man’s thoughts on Ubaldo, click on the thing that says “thoughts on Ubaldo.” Though that might’ve been clear. I need a mentee to seamlessly link to shizz.
Brandon Morrow – I’ve put years of love into Morrow (that sounds like the start to a cheesy poem). This is all I ask, one good year for Morrow (that’s an even cheesier poem start). I can almost guarantee if he’s good this year, everyone else will like him next year and I’ll end up going the other way (cause I think if Morrow’s going to be good, it’s gonna take some luck (that sounds more like song lyrics)).
Derek Holland – My heart’s saying Holland is a potential bargain where he’s currently being drafted, but my brain is saying watch out for pitchers in Arlington. I guess my heart and my brain are going Dutch with my excitement for Holland.
Jaime Garcia – Does he enter games to Funkytown, but his first name is substituted in for Funky? He should. Give the ADL something to get worked up about.
Trevor Cahill – It’s nice when you can forget BABIP, xFIP, MESHUGAS and you can fall back on simpler times like, “He was traded to the NL, that’s good for his value.”
Doug Fister - Fister, but I hardly remember placing him in a favorable tier! Hmm, that didn’t work so well. But it is true. I haven’t changed my opinion on him, but he’s also being drafted later than I think he should be, so there’s that.
Jhoulys Chacin – Know what it means when a pitcher ends up on this list two years in a row, even after producing solid results the year before? He pitches his home games in Colorado.
Brandon McCarthy – If the last few names above McCarthy could’ve been called, “Look at the top 60 starters post.” This next plouping could be called, “Top 80 starters.” Two points for those that remember my use of plouping. Better yet, you’re like a cyclops with a monocle!
Scott Baker – I doubt we see a full season from Baker, but — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — if we do, he could be a top 25 starter. How’s dem apples? Golden Delicious!
Tommy Milone – Is it Tom Milone or Tommy? “Are you my brother Rob or Disco Bob?” A nickel to anyone that gets that reference without the aid of Google. Too late, you cheated. You know someone who’s not cheating, but loving you all slow and low like a good BBQ? Tommy Milone. Yeah, so Peacock didn’t come up aces, but instead dropped a deuce. Milone looks like he’s gonna make the A’s staff and pitch in a park that ends in “co.” That’s good news. Also good news, he doesn’t walk anyone, which will limit the amount he could roofie you. Milone’s 2011 in Triple-A was a 3.22 ERA with a 155/16 K/BB ratio. The not-so-great news, he’s not going to win any games or put up huge Ks. That’s all right; you don’t draft Wins and solid ratio help from a late-round flyer can be helpful. For the season, I’ll give him the line 7-9/3.70/1.18/130. Solid last man on the staff stuff, no bluff, Aubrey Huff. Sorry, got a little Seussian there.
Jake Peavy – See what I said about Scott Baker and add an extra exclamation mark. Now remove a comma. Okay, put a period there. Yeah, that’s about right.
Edinson Volquez – We’re only three years removed from Edinson having 200+ Ks and a 3.21 ERA and now he’s gonna be in Petco. As Pauly D would tell you, you don’t come in with a big banana and expect everything to be peaches, but it’s worth a shot.
Tim Stauffer - I evaluate him as a Hodgepadre with a chance for more. Why am I not a scout for a major league baseball team?! “How does Stauffer look, Grey?” “He’s a Hodgepadre with a chance for more.” “I like when you use made-up words and talk nonsense.” “There’s more where that came from!”
Randall Delgado – I could’ve also put Teheran here. Tim Hudson is out for a month. I do think he returns and bumps someone from the rotation, but it doesn’t mean if Delgado or Teheran are pitching well they will definitely be the ones bumped. Jar-Jar isn’t the bill of good health and Hanson’s got a shoulder issue… Let’s just say Teheran and Delgado could both be in the rotation by May 1st. Here’s a reason to be optimistic about Delgado. Here’s a reason to be optimistic about Teheran: 2.55 ERA in Triple-A last year in 144 2/3 IP.
Vance Worley – In 131 2/3 innings last year, he had the stats of 11-3/3.01/1.23/119. In the top 60 starters post, I gave Worley the projections of 12-9/3.75/1.27/130. I’ll tell you what, those numbers are crazy conservative. February Grey must’ve had his shorts on too tight that day. Worley is only getting 11 Ks more from last year when he could throw 200 innings without being in danger? He’s only winning one more game? I said in that rankings post that I was worried about a sophomore slump, I must’ve been really worried. I kinda want to go in, give Worley 30 more Ks, three more wins and ask February Grey what he was thinking. February Grey, “Don’t believe me at your own risk. See you next year… Muahahahahahaha…”
Jonathan Sanchez – I don’t buy that a guy like Filthy Sanchez, who walks everyone no matter the batter, will benefit much from the league switch and having hitters less familiar with him. He still strikes out more than a hitter per inning and can luck into an ERA and WHIP anywhere from 3.07/1.23 (2010 numbers) to 4.26/144 (2011 numbers). It’s worth taking the chance on that late.
Bud Norris – In drafts, when you see Bud, I would add a bid. I think there was a pun in there, but I’m not entirely sure.
Mike Minor – On one hand, the Braves don’t seem to share my love of Mike Minor. On the other hand, Hudson’s out for at least a month so they have room. On the third hand that is actually a foot wearing a mitten, you’re late in your draft, take the flyer. On the fourth hand that is actually one of this Hulk Hogan #1 foam hands, he’s having a great spring.
Shelby Miller – In the Cards’ minor league review, Scott said, “By all accounts, Miller has the repertoire and mental makeup of a big league ace. With an effortless mid-90s fastball, a plus curveball, and a plus changeup, to go along with solid command, the 21-year-old should work his way into the St. Louis rotation at some point during twelve after twenty.” Okay, he didn’t use twelve after twenty, but he should’ve.
Chris Sale – Rather than posting the Awolnation song in the Verlander overrated post, I probably should’ve put it in Chris’s sleeper post. SALE!
Homer Bailey – In a draft recently, I told Rudy I liked Homer Bailey this year. He said, “The Homer Bailey that pitches in major league baseball?” Yeah, so Bailey hasn’t given much reason to trust him in his major league career, but his xFIP last year was respectable and he’s so overdue for a breakout. And there’s the most scientific and least scientific reason jammed into one sentence.
In our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone over so many flippin’ players I’ve lost track. This is, I believe, the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball, but you’re best to check the title to be sure. If it is indeed the top 60 starters, then you’re in luck. Only a few more top 20 rankings posts. What is it, February? March? Why don’t I have an app for this? Or do I want a hashtag? App ‘n Hashtag would be a good name for a 50′s style diner with wifi. As with the other rankings posts, tiers and my projections are mentioned. Anyway, here’s the top 60 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball:
41. Michael Pineda – This tier started in the top 40 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. This tier ends at Wainwright. I called this tier, “Might be fine, won’t be fine on my teams.” I had already went over my Michael Pineda 2012 fantasy. That was before the trade to the Yankees when I was still eating some serious M-Pineda’s. His projections then were 12-10/3.40/1.10/195. I had him originally ranked 19th overall for all starters. Now in The House They Built Across The Street From The House That Ruth Built, I’m slightly worried. Much has been said about his Home/Away splits. After the Montero/Pineda trade, some of it was said here. He’s young so there’s plenty of time to see how well he adjusts. For now, I’m going to let someone else take the chance on him. What it really comes down to is it’s not very difficult to find solid starters, so there’s no reason to take unnecessary risk. 2012 Projections: 14-9/3.75/1.15/180
42. Adam Wainwright – The notes coming out of Spring Training can talk about how Wainwright did Tommy John surgery like Jon Stewart did Tucker Carlson. Won’t matter to me. I’m not going anywhere near him. Someone would have to don a mustache and feathered hair wig and impersonate me in order for him to show up on any of my teams. 2012 Projections: 12-7/3.75/1.28/140 in 160 innings
43. Roy Oswalt - UPDATE: I wouldn’t draft Oswalt on any team now that he says he won’t play until midseason. You can’t afford to roster a guy for more than half a season who you can’t even DL. As of right now, it looks like Oswalt will sign with the Red Sox, which would make the most sense for both. The Red Sox need a starter and Oswalt needs overalls and a tractor which the Red Sox would help pay for cause they need a starter. See, both are happy. Oswalt pitched well enough in the bandbox called Citizens Flank so I wouldn’t be worried about him in Fenway. At this point in his career, he is who he is no matter where he plays. 2012 Projections: 14-10/3.65/1.22/140
44. Jhoulys Chacin – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Garcia. I call this tier, “Guys that no one seems that excited about that I’ll draft.” We’re solidly in the class of pitchers here that will probably be a solid number 3, which usually stands for the vomit you have while you’re crapping, but in this case it’s a fantasy pitcher that doesn’t compete for the Cy Young but can anchor your staff like a metal piercing. As for Chacin, I think there’s an outside chance we get a number one starter out of him and I almost ranked him in the top 40 starter post. What ended up having me rank him here instead is threefold. First fold, his walks can be a bit obnoxious. Two fold, his K-rate dropped last year. Three fold, whoever heard of a three fold? Do they have a threefold on your planet? If Chacin can regain his K-rate and just reduce his walks by one per nine innings, you have yourself a top 20 starter. All aboard! Actually, all excited! 2012 Projections: 12-10/3.60/1.26/175
45. Trevor Cahill – When he went to the Diamondbacks, I said, “Even if his new ballpark is slightly more favorable for hitters, he’s got a solid sinker and he’s going to be facing the Giants, Padres and Dodgers, the Moe, Larry and Curly of lineups. I didn’t like Cahill at all the last two years, but I’m willing to reevaluate. I’m not stubborn. *through clenched teeth* Fine, he looks draftable now!” And that’s me quoting me! 2012 Projections: 12-10/3.60/1.35/160
46. Jaime Garcia – You want another thing this tier could be called? Fantasy starters that should be around a 3.50 ERA, but aren’t going to strike out 200 guys. After I said I didn’t like Wainwright or Carpenter, I was getting letters from the Vatican that I had something against Cardinals. See, I like Jaime Garcia, so it’s not a Jew thing. Though Dave Dinkins might think there’s some truth to the conspiracy since now I’m just liking a “Hymie.” 2012 Projections: 11-9/3.65/1.30/160
47. Neftali Feliz – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Holland. I call this tier, “I have problems with Ranger starters.” Arlington is basically the AL version of Coors and I’m not getting involved in that shizz. Here’s what I said earlier in the offseason when it was announced Feliz would start, “His K-rate last year was a huge shambles or Suge Hambles if you roll with rap impresarios who are into spoonerisms. I’m not sure how a closer could even have a K-rate of 7.80 with Feliz’s stuff. I’m not just saying that to sound stupid, though it probably doesn’t hurt. His fastball, curve and change were all the same velocity as previous years. He added in a slider, but adding that shouldn’t have killed his shizz. Hitters were just making good contact, or, at least, better contact and not getting as fooled. His walks also went through the roof. I mean, 30 walks and 54 Ks in 62 1/3 innings is terrible. Who are you, Kevin Gregg? But as we know from Dempster and C.J. Wilson’s transition to being a starter, Feliz is probably going to have the best year of his young career. I’ll be on the outside looking in though, feels like too much risk to me.” And that’s me quoting me! 2012 Projections: 10-6/3.55/1.20/95 in 120 innings
48. Colby Lewis – Last year he proved fresh off the bloat shouldn’t be restricted to Asians. His K-rate and ground ball rate went down and his fly balls went up. In Arlington, that’s basically standing on the balcony with coke on your nose, firing a machine gun at dozens of people who are firing back. Ron Washington, “Must we mention coke?” Lewis’s ERA ballooned to 4.40 and he was shot. This year? He’ll be slightly better, but I see no reason to stick my neck out for him. He’s a pig that don’t fly straight. 2012 Projections: 14-11/4.00/1.20/180
49. Derek Holland – Holland is an interesting name in this tier. Post All-Star break he had an ERA of 3.06 while pre-All-Star break was only 4.68. Shows you that there’s some good Holland days and some bad Holland days, usually because of the whisking of the eggs. I’m not convinced that he’s going to give you those post-All-Star break stats over the full year. His September BABIP was .211, which helped give him a 2.20 ERA and bolster his 2nd half stats. If he’s around late enough, I could see possibly gambling on him, but my pitchers I drafted before him will have to be less risky. 2012 Projections: 13-8/4.00/1.32/180
50. Justin Masterson – This is a new tier. This tier goes from here until Hellickson. I call this tier, “They got lucky last year. If you draft one this year, you’re pressing your luck and may get whammied.” Most of the guys in this tier are ranked below where I saw them in most mocks and other ‘pert rankings. If you see one of these pitchers going lower than I have them ranked, then you might want to gamble on one but they are due for a regression. To put that more succinctly, I’d try to avoid these guys. To put that even more succinctly, try to avoid. Even more succinctly, avoid. Most succinctly, av–. Masterson had a 6.58 K/9 last year with a 3.64 xFIP. Not terrible marks. He gets a lot of ground balls, which is good, but, if he has just a bit of bad luck with those, his ERA is going to look ugly. Worth avoiding on that risk. 2012 Projections: 10-10/3.85/1.32/160
51. Tim Hudson - For full disclosure purposes — or porpoises, if you live in the sea — Hudson was originally ranked with Oswalt, but news just came out recently that Hudson may miss all of April due to his offseason back surgery. If Hudson were younger, I’d consider an earlier timetable that says he could be back mid-April, but there’s no reason to take on an older pitcher who’s already hurting. 2012 Projections: 11-9/3.65/1.18/120
52. Doug Fister – His walks… His BABIP… His men left on base… His homers allowed… His uncanny ability to sing Kyrie from memory whenever someone calls him Mr. Fister…. They are all too good to be true. I don’t think Fister will be unusable, but I also don’t think he’ll be a top 40 starter as most ‘perts have him. 2012 Projections: 12-10/3.85/1.18/140
53. Ervin Santana – He improved his walk and K-rate last year, but also got a bit lucky with his BABIP. He’s a tough one to call. He’ll either be a 3.75 ERA guy with around 180 Ks and 15+ wins, or he’ll be a 4-something ERA that just frustrates you from start to start. I think it’s going to be more of the latter, if latter means the 2nd one. Last year he threw a lot of sliders — more than anyone in the league and that’s reason enough to let someone else look to Ervin for magic. 2012 Projections: 12-12/4.00/1.30/170
54. Jair Jurrjens – If you’ve read this site for a minute (which is actually a long time if you go by the urbandictionary definition), you know how I feel about Jar-Jar. You are just as likely to get his 2010 stats (4.64 ERA) as you are getting his 2011 (2.96 ERA). Actually, that’s not true. The stats say you should get a 4-something ERA every time out. If you’re feeling lucky, then play the lottery and then go wash that Jurrjens right outta your fantasy team crosshairs. 2012 Projections: 11-9/4.15/1.35/100
55. Clay Buchholz – For any full season (which is very rare for Buchholz), he’s yet to have an xFIP under 4. <sarcastic>Yay.</sarcastic> He’s yet to have a K-rate over 7. <sarcastic>Yippee.</sarcastic> His walk rate for his major league career is 3.72. <sarcastic>Terrific.</sarcastic> 2012 Projections: 10-6/4.25/1.30/125
56. Jeremy Hellickson – I saw Hellickson ranked around 30-ish overall for starters at other sites so I feel like I’m comfortable telling you to ignore him this late. For some reason if he’s still around when you get this low into your draft, ignore him further. Don’t go near him. I’m not saying this because I was accused in the comments at the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball of being a Rays fan after my ranking of Longoria. When are people gonna figure out that I don’t care about teams only about players? I’m excited about McCutchen and Alex Presley, I don’t care about the Pirates. I loved me some Matt Kemp last year, hated Andre Ethier. The examples go on and on. Sorry about this totally unfunny rant, but nothing annoys me more than being called bias. I take this non-paying job way too serious! As for Hellickson, his K-rate was 5.57 last year. That’s good…For underhanded softball. His xFIP last year was 4.72. Sidney Ponson called and said stop stealing his xFIP. Hellickson was lucky to not have a 6-something ERA last year. Do not draft. 2012 Projections: 10-9/4.30/1.25/130
57. Jonathan Sanchez – This is a new tier. This tier goes into the top 80 starters for 2012 fantasy baseball. I call this tier, “Holy crap, there were a lot of starters I didn’t like in this post. Let’s see some names I like. Please.” Glad to be outta that last tier that is going to elicit so many comments of this variety, “Why rank Hellickson above Jonathan Sanchez if you’d draft Sanchez and not Hellickson?” Jonathan Sanchez and other names in this tier are coming with a lot of risk. I like them, but I’m not reaching for them until I see some other schmohawk draft Colby Lewis or Fister or Neftali or Hellickson et al (which is not the Israeli airline). My projections for the players in this tier I like may even look better than some of the players above them, but there’s a lot of risk hurdles for these players to jump to get to those projections. For instance, there’s a much better chance Hudson reaches his projections than Sanchez comes anywhere near his. I like these pitchers, but they are flyers. You should know there’s no guarantee with these guys. They may be number two fantasy starters or they may be off your team by April 15th. As for Sanchez, his nickname Filthy Sanchez is perfect for him. It’s filthy as in good and filthy as in bad. He can strike out double digit hitters in a game or he can give up 12 baserunners in 4 innings. A lot of times he gives you both. 2012 Projections: 12-11/3.95/1.35/185
58. Vance Worley – I think his 2011, which was fantastic, is partly due to hitters not being familiar with him. He had a 8+ K/9 and a 3.66 xFIP. Alone those numbers say he was a hotter piece of ass than his mother, Jo Anne Worley, ever was. I think, unfortunately, Worley is a candidate for a sophomore slump. That’s my gut talking though (unless those noises are coming from further south on my body). When the gut talks, you listen or you end up needing an antacid. 2012 Projections: 12-9/3.75/1.27/130
59. Mike Minor – I almost put Julio “The Sheik” Teheran here. Who’s the Braves fifth starter? Can we just draft “Braves fifth starter?” Is that legal? The heat is off Minor to be good and I will love him once again. Last year I told you to draft him in every league, then when the Braves announced Beachy would be in the rotation instead, I told everyone to draft Beachy. Minor? He major. Nothing wrong with the stuff. If anything, he’s a year older (24) and can have a huge breakout. Last year he threw over a 180 IP between the Braves and Triple-A, so if he pitches well, he might just throw 200 innings. Yeah, there will be more mention of him this preseason. 2012 Projections: 10-8/3.65/1.28/170 (<–optimistic, but whatevs)
60. Wandy Rodriguez – He’s exactly the pitcher he was last year (3.49 ERA, 1.31 WHIP, 166 Ks), plus or minus .20 in ERA and 20 Ks. He’s more or less overlooked because he’s on the Astros (shoot, people who work for the Astros overlook them) and he has little to no upside. Will his numbers be better than Worley? Prolly. Would I draft Worley first? Prolly. There’s something to be said for upside. If you’re not excited for your team in March, how excited will you be in June? Look at February Grey getting philosophical! I’m one upping Socrates. I’m Mo’crates! That might just be my rapper name too. Yo, mo’ money, Mo’Crates! Mo’ money, Mo’Crates! Mo’ money, Mo’Crates! I drink cream soda and I rock a toga! King Minos got a powerful navy, and, yo, my beard and hair is wavy! Try and read about me from Plato and your head will turn to mush… Nah, gravy! Mo’ money, Mo’Crates! 2012 Projections: 10-10/3.65/1.30/170
