Yesterday, Alex Cobb threw a 4-hit, 2-walk shutout with 8 Ks vs. the A’s.  Cy Cobb?  Nah, probably not.  Last night though, pretty.  Let’s look it how The Tampa Bay Peach got where he is.  Earlier this year, The Tampa Bay Peach hit that sweet spot, deciduously ready and he dropped to the ground, rolled about sixteen feet into the River Styx as “Come Sail Away” was playing in the background.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

When I think of a creeper, two images flow into my mind— Bachmann-eyezed! and the song ‘Creep’. This combo punch is usually enough to haunt my entire day as I hum Radiohead and cry fearful tears, afraid that I’ll be accused of being part of the Muslim Brotherhood and then be stared at profusely by those hypnotizing conservative eyes.

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On Wednesday, Jon Lester gave a line of 6 2/3 IP, 4 ER, 10 baserunners, 7 Ks and I said he found the sweet spot between yawn and ho-hum.  Some runs, bunch of hits and not at all dominating.  It was just another run-of-the-mill start for Lester.  Larry Johnson’s Grandmama could throw that line.  Perhapizzle, I say, speaking like a hip-hop Yoda.  “There is no try, there is only do-izzle and do not-fizzle.”  Yo, Yoda, why you wear your Jedi robe so low?  “Easy access, I like.”  Maybe there was something else to that Lester start.  Maybe, Columbo, things aren’t how they seem.  Maybe I’m holding a container of Colombo yogurt and talking to it.  Don’t judge me, but let’s judge Lester.  That start was also his highest K-rate in one game this year, and he issued no walks.  Some people are talking about how he’s got a new approach.  He’s peacocking without the flair of Ks.  He’s about the pitch-to-contact approach that Charley Lau would’ve enjoyed.  Yeah, let’s take what makes us great and instead pitch so people can hit the ball against The Green Monster.  You don’t need to hit every branch coming down the Rocket Scientist tree to think that makes no sense.  If you have strikeout stuff, you strike people out.  On Wednesday, he did that.  I think that was a corner turned.  June is always his best month, but he usually stays hot in the summer because he likes to keep things appropriate.  I wouldn’t trade a top bat for him, but I think his owners are concerned and I’d definitely buy him for the right price.  Anyway, here’s some more players to buy or sell this week in fantasy baseball:

BUY

Andrelton Simmons – Speaking of Star Wars, this guy’s first name sounds like a planet in one of those made up galaxies that Lucas sold at auction for $150,000.  “Now up for bid, an imaginary planet in the Arkanis sector of the Outer Rim Territories.  Do I hear one hundred thousand?  We have a bid from the forty-something year old man with acne.  No, not you, sir, the man next to you.”  Simmons had 26 steals last year in High-A and 10 steals this year in Double-A through 43 games.  He doesn’t look like he has burner speed, but in shallower leagues and very deep leagues I’d take a chance on him.  I say those two types of leagues because in one options are so abundant that it’s good to take a flyer on someone for a week.  If they take off, great!  If they don’t, there’s other options and what did you miss?  A week of EverCab?  Big whoop.  In very deep leagues, you take him because your other options are Daniel Descalso.

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When Sveum told Rafael Dolis that they need him to fill in for Carlos Marmol, he took them way too literally.  “So you don’t want me to walk everyone while blowing games?  Totally mi mal!”  That was Rafael Dolis talking through his translator who speaks Spanglish.  “Can we get a translator who speaks English and Spanish…Separately!”  That’s Sveum losing his shizz.

Please, blog, may I have some more?