Amish text states vociferously that a Quackenbush should not render thou’s biblical nature moot. Stating, “Eroticism is the devil’s electricity, and our brains should not be hardwired to flip any switches when our nature’s bell rings. You may want to churn butter into the Quackenbush–” I just realize I had a smudge on my Amish Schoolchildren Early Education textbook and it’s not Quacken, it’s Quaker. That is my bad. So, Joaquin Benoit could be headed to the DL, and even if he’s not, he’s dealing with a shoulder issue and may not be effective. In every league I needed saves, I’d grab Kevin Quackenbush. And, if truly desperate, I’d even grab Dale Thayer. As for a Quaker bush, well, caution is advised. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Last week in the comments of this post we talked about everything but DraftKings because at this point of the season we have lost all our beer money and need to talk about something else to cope. It’s okay though because if I was winning every time I payed I would be making it rain dollar bills every night at the club and wouldn’t be writing this. I’m kidding, I love this too much and wouldn’t want to be anywhere else but here. (I’m lying I would rather be at the club blowing through my money like an 18 year old who won the lottery) Today I went with a music play in my title after being inspired by the considerable music discussions with Sky, Ralph and a very drunk Big Magoo last week. Great time fellas, I hope you come back today and we can have Thursdays with J-FOH continue. I will be honest, I like Simon and Garfunkel and Paul Simon’s solo career. It’s the music that soothes this savage beast and keeps my mind at ease. You got a F**KING PROBLEM WITH THAT? When I looked at my 8 options for arms today I was at a loss because I only have 8 options. With Zach Greinke missing his start, Madison Bumgarner, Tyson Ross and Clayton Kershaw are the three I feel most people will go with as they stay away from Julio Teheran. Julio has been so-so of late and could be overlooked as people try to avoid a blow up. I think they’re nucking futs with this one. The Braves have been swinging a hot stick and face a train wreck of a pitcher in David Holmberg which helps in getting the win. Julio has faced the Reds once this year and shut them out going 8 innings, striking out 5, walking two and only giving up 3 hits. Yummy! After two bad outings against the Dodgers and Mariners he came back with a 1 ER performance against the very dangerous A’s. He has the upside to get you double digit K’s and with a K/9 of 7.79 is not an unreasonable statement. The Reds on the year are 13th on the team K-rate chart doing it at a rate of 20.6%. I like his pairing with Madison and as I always do in my head when I hear Tehran’s name I think of the Iron Shiek from Tehran, Iran stomping on an opponent before the bell rings. Julio #1 Teheran #1, everyone else ptui!

Hey there everyone! I would like to welcome you to another episode of the Razzball football show. I’m going to talk about football and you better sit back and read this or else our big scary Canadian Nick will come visit you and make you. He has a van and is mobile taking residence in Anywhere, America as he promotes our game changing product on the 32in32in32 tour. We are changing the game before the game even knows it needs to be changed. Can you dig it! This week we launched our first ever Razzball Football IDP leagues with myself and IDP writer Kevin hosting the first two. We filled them up pretty fast and would like to do some more. If you are interested in hosting one then please leave a comment and we can work it out via e-mail. Jay, Grey and everyone here at Razzball would love your support as we keep trying to take Razzball Football to the next level. We have a damn good product with quality content and mandatory shenanigans over there. For those that don’t know, IDP stands for Individual Defensive Players where we get rid of the old boring team defense concept and select defensive backs, linebackers, and defensive lineman as a part of our squads. In my most humble opinion it makes the game viewing experience better than anything you have ever done before because the action for your team never stops. You get a rush as one of your players makes a great tackle, a sack, a pass deflection or an interception they take to the house. So what do you say. JOIN OR ELSE!

New to DraftKings? Scared of feeling like a small fish in a big pond? Well try out this 20 teamer of Razzball writers and friends to wet your DK whistle. Just remember to sign up through us before you do. It’s how we know you care!

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America
2013 (15) | 2012 (7) | 2011 (6) | 2010 (17) | 2009 (14)

2013 Affiliate Records
MLB: [90-72] NL Central
AAA: [69-75] International League – Louisville
AA: [59-79] Southern League – Pensacola
A+: [55-85] California League – Bakersfield
A: [65-74] Midwest League – Dayton

Graduated Prospects
Derrick Robinson (OF); Tony Cingrani (LHP); J.J. Hoover (RHP)

The Run Down
The fantasy buzz surrounding this group of Reds prospects is largely focused on Billy Hamilton and his mind-bending speed.  The Hamilton hype is certainly warranted, but what goes overlooked amid all that talk is the fact that he’s not even the highest impact prospect in this org.  No, that title belongs to Robert Stephenson, who headlines this top 10, and is soon to be headlining rotations across the fantasy game.  Behind the top two, the Reds have compiled a nice collection of prospects with polish, and prospects with upside.  From top to bottom, it’s not an extreme high-impact farm, but for fantasy purposes, this is a group to watch closely.

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Organizational Talent Rankings via Baseball America
2012 (5) | 2011 (23) | 2010 (28) | 2009 (26) | 2008 (20)

2012 Affiliate Records
MLB: [81-81] NL West
AAA: [81-63] Pacific Coast League – Reno
AA: [69-71] Southern League – Mobile
A+: [64-76] California League – Visalia
A: [67-73] Midwest League – South Bend
A(ss): [36-40] Northwest League — Yakima (Hillsboro beginning 2013)

Graduated Prospects
Patrick Corbin (LHP); Bryan Shaw (RHP)

The Run Down
The Diamondbacks entered the off-season with one of the most impressive collections of 25-and-under talent in the game. With the departures of Justin Upton and Trevor Bauer, however, that youthful core took a major hit in the high-impact department. One of Arizona’s motives in those trades was adding low-risk depth, and in that regard, they did quite well — Didi Gregorious and Nick Ahmed are premium defenders up the middle, Zeke Spruill is a safe bet to max out his potential, and Brandon Drury is a 1B with upside. Unfortunately for us, though, these changes make the D’Backs organization a tad less exciting for fantasy purposes. But that doesn’t mean this system is void of fantasy intrigue. There’s actually plenty of immediate-impact potential here with guys like Tyler Skaggs and Adam Eaton. There’s long-term excitement, too, with prospects like Archie Bradley and Stryker Trahan.

Please, blog, may I have some more?