Fantasy Baseball Advice

Nyjer Morgan was back in the lineup to steal two bases in the first inning, then he left with a broken hand.  Bunt, go feet first and get back in there!  One of my ‘pert teams was pulling too far away in power, so last week I made a trade for steals and saves.  Two categories I usually just play the waiver wire for, but in a 16 team league, it’s slim pickins.  I traded Prince Fielder for Heath Bell and Nyjer Morgan.  Stab me in my eye!  Shove hot coals in my pants!  Hot poker my heart!  I still won’t miss Prince, but Nyjer’s broken hand… Well, I’d like to write on Nyjer’s cast, “Amputate,” as you should be doing with him on your teams.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Tim Hudson – He’ll be returning on Monday to face the Marlins.  The good news, he gets a decent 2 start week next week.  The bad news, he wasn’t exactly lights out in rehab.  The moderate news, he’s worth a flier in 12 team leagues where you need an extra starter.  Just don’t expect him to be anything more than 5 IP, 3 ER.

Ian Kinsler – 2 HRs.  Post-All-Star Break, he’s batting .222 with 8 homers and 6 steals.  It’s going to be hard to justify a 2nd round pick next year for Kinsler with his propensity for bescumbering your fantasy baseball team in the second half of the season.

Chris Davis - HR yesterday.  IDK. W00t? Or BFD U POS?  The preceding was brought to you by your 14-year-old nephew’s texting.

A.J. Burnett – 6 IP, 3 ER, 12 Ks.  12 Ks courtesy of the league’s worst (best?) team for Ks, the Rangers.  After struggling for a few years with injuries, Burnett’s putting together another 30 start season (barring my jinxing right here).  Looking like a solid bet for 175 Ks and a 4.00 ERA next year.  That’s nothing to sneeze at, unless you’re allergic to that sorta thing.

Anibal Sanchez – 3 2/3 IP, 2 ER, 11 baserunners vs. the Mets.  I tried to push people away from Anibal because of his wont to tie his owners to the WHIPping post.

Chris Coghlan – 3-for-4, 2 HRs yesterday.  I can already see people drafting him next year in mixed leagues and then mid-April being bored with him.  It’s the trouble with 12/12 outfielders.  They look okay on draft day, but when they average 2 homers and 2 steals a month they get real yawnstipating.

Dave Bush – 4 2/3 IP, 5 ER.  Bush has a machine head.  But it’s not better than the rest.

Randy Wells – 6 1/3 IP, 5 ER, 9 baserunners.  To make matters worse, the Cubs should start watching his innings.

Carlos Gonzalez – Was in the lineup, but it was too soon back in the yard and he hurt his knife wound.

Adam LaRoche – HR yesterday.  8 homers and batting .385 in August.  Must be after the All-Star Break.

Andy Marte – HR yesterday.  Deep league alert!  Has an eight game hitting streak with two homers and batting over .400.

Andrew McCutchen – HR yesterday.  Now has 9 homers and 15 steals.  Unbelievably, I’m starting to get excited about a Pirate for next year.  Not just any Pirate, but The Dread Pirate.

Garrett Jones – Robot Jones has not only continued to be productive (though admittedly less so than when he was first called up).  He hit his 15th homer yesterday and also has 8 steals.  For under 200 at-bats, that’s tremendous.  I have my doubts about him doing it over a full season.

Junichi Tazawa – 4 IP, 9 ER.  This is the reason I tried to steer people away from Tazawa.  I mean, he has a near 7 ERA on the year and 8 walks to 12 Ks.  Honestly, if it was for the Sons of Sam Horn hype machine, we wouldn’t even be talking about him.  Next year, we’ll reevaluate.

Alex Gonzalez – Has now hit homers in back-to-back games.  He’s a terrible hitter.  Make no mistake.  But hitters hit them in bunches, so he might have some short term value for MI pop.

Jacoby Ellsbury – Left the game with an ankle sprain.  He’s day-to-a-few-days.

Brandon Allen – Hit his first major league homer yesterday.  He’ll be discussed more in this afternoon’s Buy/Sell.  You can’t wait.  No, you can’t!

Matt Holliday – HR yesterday.  If he stays in the NL, it’ll be interesting to see if everyone drafts him next year like the first half of the year was a blip on the radar because of his Oakcation.  The only problem with that, he still only hit 25 homers his last full year in Coors.  Then again, maybe the Mets will get him, then no one will think his power will boon.

Albert Pujols – It’s almost like he owns himself in fantasy baseball.  He goes 0-for-2, but steals a base just to add some value.  This actually wouldn’t be a bad idea.  Part of everyone’s salary goes into a fantasy baseball pool.  The only caveat is they must draft themselves.  Hmm… But maybe that’s gambling.  Nevertheless, I love Pujols.  Well, that sounded wrong.

A rejected title was, “BJ Stands For Blown Job.”  BJ Ryan was pronounced with a something-or-other injury to his something-or-other as he heads to the Disgraceful List.  A’la Lili Taylor in Say Anything, “JP Ricciardi lies…  He lies when he cries…”  Ever see anything like this?  JP Ricciardi always upgrades injury.  Slight arm trouble = end of year surgery.  God forbid Ricciardi ever says you need end of year surgery.  Scott Downs will take over the bulk of the saves, but Jason Frasor will be right there in the mix.  “Hey, Frasor, what are you doing there?”  “I’m in the mix!”  If someone in your league was quicker than you to grab Downs, grab Frasor.  Downs goes… Frasor!  Downs goes… Frasor!  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Carlos Quentin – Left the game after getting hit on the hand.  Supposedly just a day-to-day thing.  Maybe Quentin could wear that forearm protector like Iron Mike Sharpe.

Cole Hamels – Struck by a Prince Fielder liner.  Can’t you do anything right, Fielder?!  Hamels is said to be fine and should make his next start.  It feels like this is going to be one of those years for Hamels. He just seems cursed.

Dave Bush – No hitter through 8.  Then next game he’ll give up six earned in 5 innings.  Don’t even try to figure him out.  There’s a Sphinx in Milwaukee made of frozen custard and it says, “What is the deal with Dave Bush?”

Kyle Lohse – He heard his knee pop.  Headed for an MRI.  Sounds bad.  Actually, sounds good, because he shouldn’t have been on your team anyway.

Jerry Manual – He said after today’s game that besides Johan, all his pitchers stink and they’re all in danger of losing their spots in the rotation.  Maine, Livan and Curly aren’t doing it for you?

Jose Valverde – Said he should be back by Friday.  I’d hold Hawkins until you see a save or two from Valgreen’s.

Aaron Harang – 7 IP, 0 ER.  The Harangatuan is back! (About 10 months late for all my fantasy teams he ruined last year.  Old wounds!)

Joey Votto – 4-for-5, HR.  I said he’d move above Berkman for next year.  That shizz is documented.

Alex Rios – 1st home run yesterday.  Glad someone finally told Rios that the season has started.

Kevin Millwood – 7 IP, 4 ER.  You mean he’s not going to have a sub-2.00 ERA this year?  Aw, shucks.  I knew I shouldn’t have played the horn.

Chris Davis – Third homer yesterday as the race tightens between him and Reynolds.

Chien-Ming Wang – Struckout 11 with no walks in an extended spring training game.  Um, cool.  So only start him in games in Florida? He’s headed for the Disgraceful List too.

Joel Zumaya – Returning Friday.  Okay, but he’s still not going to be the closer for while unless Rodney drops a turd sandwich.  Then there’s Brandon Lyon to contend with too.  And Ryan Perry.

Wandy Rodriguez – 6 IP, 1 ER.  Grey, do you like Wandy this year? Random italicized voice, I’ve been saying I’m on the Wandwagon as for back as early February.  How about Verlander? *sigh*

Alberto Callaspo – Hitting .381 on the year.  I’ve long been a fan of Callaspo, even when he was back in the Diamondbacks organization.  He can be a cheap average source in very deep leagues (Think AL-Only).  He has very little speed or power though.

Ricky Romero – To the DL (POW!).  Brett Cecil will replace him.  Cecil has solid stuff, but he was getting hit hard in the minors thus far this year.  Unless it’s a very deep league, he’s not worth a flier yet.

Derek Holland – If he dazzles on Friday night against the O’s, you’re going to wish you owned him.  I’d grab him, bench him and then watch to see what his results are.  I.e.  He’s not long for the bullpen.

Brandon Wood – I got an idea.  Let’s bring up our prospect that has proven himself in the minors and then sit him.  Good idea, we don’t want to sit Chone Figgins.  He’s batting .246!  Idiots.

Vladimir Guerrero – Jayson Stark, who I thought only collected odd baseball nuggets, reports that an anonymous source says Vlad isn’t coming back in a month.  Stark’s source says, “How’s he coming back in a month from a torn pec?  When those offensive linemen get that injury in the NFL, they’re out for the year.”  Looks like you shouldn’t draft Vlad for your fantasy football league either.  This is obviously very bad news for Vlad owners.  Couple of things about that statement.  1) Why an anonymous source?  Is that news that hush-hush on the QT?  2) That “scoop” sounds really ancedotal.  3)  Why does an anonymous source need to tell Stark this?  The Angels, or any doctors on ESPN’s payroll, or any doctors in the world couldn’t tell us that a torn pec would cost Vlad a few months?  This is all so baffling to me.

In our 2009 fantasy baseball rankings, we’ve gone to the top 60 starters and top 60 outfielders thus far.  But since it’s advisable by me and everyone else that has every wielded a fantasy baseball quill to draft pitching late, I figured I needed to give you twenty or so more to bring the tally to the top 80.  There will be a top 80 outfielder post too.  Christmas came late, ya’ll!  In mixed leagues, if I’m drafting this late and I have a choice between an NL pitcher and an AL pitcher, I’d prefer to go for the NL pitcher.  They pitch to other pitchers and mostly weaker offenses.  That is a post in itself.  Also, a lot of these pitchers (and others which will be highlighted during the season) will be smart pickups for some match-ups but aren’t worth starting every game unless they get on a roll.  Anyway, here’s the top 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball:

61. Manny Parra – This is the first tier of the top 80 starters.  This tier goes from here to Smoltz.  I call this tier, “Major issues with all of these pitchers, but I’ll still be looking at them late in deep leagues.”  Parra will have a sleeper post dedicated to him.  Promise.  See, the thing is, I likey Parra.  Like likey likey.  Though, at times last year, his walks were A to the trocious.  2009 Projections:  11-9/4.10/1.40/160

62. Gil Meche – Meche has been below a 4.00 ERA for two straight years.  Last year, he posted nearly 8 strikeouts per nine innings.  His FIP was 3.61 last year.  Still not convinced?  Neither am I.  Though it’s hard to argue with him as an AL-Only option.  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.00/1.33/160

63. Bronson Arroyo – Great guy to have in leagues with an innings category or a bad guitar players category.  2009 Projections: 12-10/4.25/1.40/150

64. Kenshin Kawakami – Went over him when he signed with the Braves.  2009 Projections:  12-8/4.35/1.40/120

65. Chris Volstad – With a douchey name like he’s a character in a Bret Easton Ellis book, you’d think he’d strikeout more hitters.  If his K/9 wasn’t so bleh, I’d like him more.  2009 Projections:  10-7/4.00/1.30/110

66. Randy Johnson – Son, Randy Johnson’s got acne craters older and bigger than you.   He could be a great steal late in drafts as long as you only expect 15 starts.  2009 Projections:  7-4/3.50/1.20/90 in 15 starts

67. Dave Bush – You could draft him and only start him at home (3.82 career ERA) like the Brewers did at times last year.  His low WHIP always makes him a worthwhile gamble and incongruous with his ERA.  2009 Projections: 10-10/4.20/1.18/120

68. Paul Maholm – Last year, Maholm really broke out.  And, when talking about the Pirates, a breakout is considered a low 4.00 ERA.  2009 Projections: 10-8/4.10/1.25/150

69. Aaron Cook – Jon Garland with a better ERA.  That’s about the best compliment I can… *pinkie to mouth* cook up.  2009 Projections:  12-8/4.00/1.36/90

70. Edwin Jackson – For about three years, I’ve waited patiently for Jackson to turn the corner from Prospect Ave.  Right now, he seems headed to Journeyman Lane, but he’s still young.  2009 Projections:  11-9/4.50/1.50/120

71. John Smoltz – Went over Smoltz when he signed with the Sawx. 2009 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.16/60 in 12 starts.

72. Jesse Litsch – This is a new tier.  This tier goes from here to Lannan.  I call this tier, “I’m not drafting any of these guys under any conditions.”  Litsch is the Blue Jays number two starter.  Something tells me they’re not going to be competitive this year either.  Litsch can also be found at the top 20 risky pitchers for 2009 post.  2009 Projections:  5-7/4.50/1.30/55 in 20 starts.

73. Todd Wellemeyer – A thirty-year-old breakout? Whatevermeyer.  2009 Projections:  6-8/4.75/1.35 in 20 starts.

74. Rich Hill – Match Game Host, Gene Rayburn, “Last year, Rich Hill was really bad.” Studio Audience, “How bad was he?”  Gene, “He was so bad he ____.”  Went over him further when the O’s got him.  2009 Projections:  4-5/4.75/1.45/60 in fifteen starts.

75. Joe Blanton – Too bad he’s not a lousy pitcher and injury-prone so Carrasco could slide in.  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.75/1.40/110

76. Pedro Martinez – Wasn’t that long ago he was carrying around a good luck dwarf and celebrating a championship.  Now that dwarf is doing better than Pedro’s career.  2009 Projections:  6-7/4.70/1.50/80 in 20 starts.

77. Nick Blackburn – Very little to see here.  2009 Projections:  10-8/4.30/1.34/85

78. Jon Garland -I didn’t go over him when he went to the Diamondbacks, because there’s not much to say.  He’s a much better real world pitcher, racking up innings, than a fantasy pitcher.  He didn’t get 100 Ks last year in 197.2 innings.  Bleh!  2009 Projections:  12-10/4.75/1.42/95

79. John Lannan – Don’t you dare draft him.   He will suck your soul and crush your girl-like emotions.  2009 Projections: 6-9/5.00/1.44/80

80. Brad Penny – This is the last tier.  This tier goes from here to Shawn Hill.  I call this tier, “You can do much worse very late in deep leagues.”  If you throw out Penny’s season last year, where he looked miserable and hurt, he would be coming off a 16-4/3.03/1.31 season in 208 innings.  If healthy, he could be a steal late.  2009 Projections:  14-10/4.00/1.30/130

81. Aaron Heilman – Went over him when Heilman was traded — the 2nd time.  2009 Projections:  9-4/4.00/1.15/120 in 20 starts.

After the top 80 starters for 2009 fantasy baseball, there’s a lot of names, but these three stand out:

Carlos Carrasco – Went over him in the Carrasco keeper post.  Big things, I tell ya.  Big…. Things.  Not sure if he sees time out of the gate, but watch him if a Phillies pitcher gets injured.  2009 Projections:  5-2/3.00/1.32/60 in ten starts.

Mark Buehrle – He’s not flashy with those Big City Ks. You probably won’t want to own him. But for the better part of two years, I’ve owned him off and on. He’s usually good for a few ‘worth-owning’ streaks a year. 2009 Projections: 13-10/4.00/1.35/120

Shawn Hill – Usually I end the lists with an exciting name.  But, guess what?  We’re almost 100 deep into the starters so exciting was barfed into an airplane toilet about six tiers ago and flushed out somewhere over Guatemala.  Word is Shawn Hill will be healthy for the 2009 season, but keep your expectations in check because he’s never been healthy in his career.  Then again, you probably have no expectations of Shawn Hill.  In NL-Only leagues, I’d take a very late flier on Hill.  2009 Projections:  8-6/4.10/1.26/110 in 20 starts.

We at Razzball realize that exporting our views across the country has damaging consequences on the blogosphere.  To help make amends, we are reaching out to leading team blogs and featuring their locally blogged answers to pressing 2009 fantasy baseball questions regarding their team.  We feel this approach will be fresher, more sustainable, and require less energy consumption (for us anyway).  The 2009 Brewers Fantasy Baseball Preview comes courtesy of Chuckie Hacks.

1) 34 home runs?  Seriously?  Fielder has to hit more home runs in 2009.  Doesn’t he?

In 2007, 34 home runs was good enough for 8th in the NL. Not terrible, but not what many people expected out of Prince Fielder last season. You would expect a bomber like Prince to be in the top 5 of NL home runs. But we must remember, he is still a young pup. He will only be 24 on Opening Day 2009. He is still prone to the ups and downs of a young ball player and Prince is known to be hard on himself when he slumps, further dragging out the slump. Prince had 84 walks last season, which is good, but with turds like Corey Hart and Bill Hall batting behind him, he isn’t going to see a ton of good pitches. Sometimes, often during key at bats, he tries to kill the good pitches he gets and often fouls them off or swing through them. Prince is usually hitting his best when he has controlled swings and not trying to hit bombs all the time. The big wild card this year is going to be his arbitration hearing. That could be brutal. Doug Melvin has always signed guys and has never gone to a hearing. With Boras as his agent and based on the stink Prince raised last year, a hearing seems inevitable. Prince is a pretty sensitive guy. When word filters back to him that the Brewers focused on his ever increasing weight, his terrible defense and his drop in production in 2008, he will become moody to the outside world. However, Prince has also used doubters as motivators in the past. He (and Boras) know he is a gunning for a big contract with the Yankees following the 2011 season. I have a feeling Prince turns it around this year and hits 40+ bombs.. Part of this is based on the fact that he won’t be on the magnetic schedule given away at Opening Day, thus avoiding the magnetic schedule curse that has been hanging around this franchise. My other hope for Prince this year is that somebody other than ChooseVeg.com sponsors his Baseball-Reference.com page. It should be sponsored by that new bacon and cheers chalupa at Taco Bell.

2) Carlos Villanueva or Manny Parra, who has a better 2009?  Why?

It’s tough to say who is going to have a better year since one is a starter and one is a reliever.  Both played full seasons last year but their seasons went along different paths..  Parra started out relatively strong but hit a major wall in the 2nd half and was ineffective down the stretch.  Villanueva started out the year in the rotation but ended up with a demotion to the bullpen…where he had an extremely productive 2nd half.  I’m going to have to say that if he stays healthy, Parra is going to have the better 2009…at least from an average fan’s perspective.  He’ll be able to push his innings up to the 180-200 (again…if healthy).  With his stuff and the Brewers offense giving him support, he could become a 15 game winner.  Even though Villanueva will be one of the primary set-up men and an effective contributor (which can’t be overlooked) Parra will be seen as a better pitcher in the public eye.  Maybe he is.

3) Mat Gamel or Alcides Escobar, which are you most excited about?  Do we see either in 2009? If so, when?

I like what both guys bring to the table (Gamel hits bombs, Escobar has a ridiculous glove) but in the Show the guys that get paid the big bucks are the guys that RAKE.  That’s what Gamel can bring to the table and that’s what I’m excited about.  In two years (or 6 months) when Prince Fielder is no longer on the team it’s going to be nice to plug in Gamel in the cleanup spot behind Braun as a left-handed power threat.  As for when we’ll see both guys, 2009 might not be the year for them.  First, Escobar hasn’t played an inning of AAA ball…and Gamel got only 5 games in there last year (and he was injured).  They both need their AAA reps…particularly Escobar so his bat can continue to develop to compliment his glove.  Only a significant injury to either JJ Hardy or Rickie Weeks will get Escobar to see MLB action this year (excluding September of course).  Gamel might play himself into the 3rd base spot, ala Ryan Braun in 2007 & Russell the Muscle in 2008.  If Gamel starts out destroying AAA ball with his bat…and the painfully mediocre 3rd base platoon of Bill Hall and Mike Lamb don’t do anything special…Gamel might get the call.  We’ll see how he does in Spring Training.

4) Suppose you work at All-State Insurance, Rickie Weeks comes in for a policy.  Do you insure him for 2009?  If yes, does he break his wrist wiggling the pen as he prepares to sign the policy?

It depends upon what type of insurance he’s looking for.  If it’s health insurance, I’d say he’s worth insuring.  He has had the wrist problem and the thumb problem, but those seem to be freaky injuries.  Maybe he doesn’t get a premium rate, but he’s not Ben Sheets.  However, if it was insurance against another season of sub-.240 batting average and terrible fielding percentage, or insurance against bad double play turns at 2B, I’d be leery.  Everybody thinks that the Willie Randolph hire will have a great impact on Weeks and that he’ll be a huge influence over his play, but we as Brewers fans have been reading the “Weeks is ready for a breakout” stories for 3 years now.  I’m skeptical, at best.  And I’m a Ricky supporter.

5)  Crap is to toilet as Dave Bush is to ___  A) Road games  B) The Brewers Staff  C) Trick question, you can’t flush away Dave Bush.

Milwaukee Journal Sentinel — “Over his last 18 appearances (17 starts), Bush went 7-3 with a 3.23 ERA, including a 4-0 mark and 2.12 ERA in five starts in August. He finished the season with a 1.14 WHIP (walks and hits per inning), the fifth-best mark in the National League.”

Hey, that’s something I might be interested in. Dave Bush is never going to be a #1 or #2 starter. He is not going to dominate every time out like Sabathia did. Dave Bush will have games where he gives up 4 runs in the first.. Dave Bush will have games where he cruises for 5 or 6 inning and then starts unraveling. This is where Ken Mach and Bill Castro need to pick up on the warning signs and get Bush out of there as soon as possible, Dave Bush is not poo. Crap was when the Brewers were trotting out guys like Wes Obermueller, Wayne Franklin and Matt Kinney to make 30 starts a season. Bush will be decent. Just look at him as a younger, slightly better and significantly cheaper Jeff Suppan. I vomited a bit in my mouth there.

Yesterday, I went over some fantasy baseball hitters to grab. Today, we look at some below the radar pitchers. (Of course, it depends on your league size on whether these schmohawks are above or below the radar. As that cliché goes, your trash is someone else’s wife.) If I were you, this would probably be a very helpful post for me. Why, Grey? Please explain. Okay, general reader of this site, I don’t draft pitching high in any league. My first pitcher off the board in one ‘pert league was Aaron Harang. Nuts, you say? Nuts indeed. And this was a fifteen team league, so you can imagine the slim pickings on waivers. Well, currently I’m at a 13 in ERA, 11 in WHIP and a 14 in saves. Wins have been a pain at 5.5 and I’m at 7 in Ks. (Honestly, I’ve seen that the least read posts on this site have been about the leagues Rudy and I are in, so I won’t bore you much longer, just bear with me.) So you’re thinking Harang first? Hmm… You must’ve had some kick-ass 2nd and 3rd and 4th pitchers off the board. 2nd pitcher was Rich Hill, 3rd Wainwright, 4th Edinson Volquez, then Chuck James and that’s it. Seriously, I should be in last place with that pitching staff. But I’ve ridden hard and put away wet Jorge Campillo, Jeremy Guthrie, Mark Buerhle and an array of spot starters. Then very recently I traded for Big Z to try and close the Ks and Wins a bit. So, as you see, pitching can be had in deep leagues, you just need to know where to look. Anyway, here’s some fantasy baseball pitchers to Buy and Sell:

BUY

Jorge Campillo – Probably gone by this time, but I told you to get Campillo in May. If your trigger finger is like Don Knotts in The Shakiest Gun in the West, this is not my fault. (BTW, In the same post, I told you to stay away from VMart. Zapow!)

Jeremy Guthrie – Again, he’s probably gone by now, but I told you to get him when Rich Hill and Gallardo collapsed on May 4th.

Braden Looper – Bad July, but he’s been consistently good one month then bad for one month for the whole year. ERAs respectively from April — 3.86, 6.37, 2.92, 4.82 and so far 2.57 in August. Does this make any logical sense? Yours is not to reason why, yours is to start Looper and hope he drives in Pujols.

Gil Meche – When you look at his numbers in November, you’ll think about how his season wasn’t that great. Well, this would be true, but he can be good for two months in the middle of a lame season. He’s in the middle of those two months.

Ricky Nolasco – 13 K game the other day probably snatched him off of waivers in every league, but in case it didn’t, here’s Nolasco. Now who are you gonna call? Maroone!

Matt Garza – Has this every other start thing going where he’s good in one start then poor in the next. If he stays true to it, you can make it work for you. Stay true, Garza, stay true… And I’ll start you… There’s a country ditty for ya’ll.

SELL

Paul Maholm – This guy is showing up on a lot of people’s “I’m a ‘pert and I’m telling to get this guy” list. Phooey to them. It’s effin’ Paul Maholm, people! Unless I’m looking at him in an NL-Only league, I’m yawnstipated.

Jamie Moyer – He threw a pitch last week that just made it to the catcher.

Armando Galarraga – On my tombstone it will say, “I told you I was ill. And don’t pickup Armando Galarraga.”

Oliver Perez – Here’s the thing with Ollie Perez, he can absolutely wreck havoc on your ratios. Bah!

Jeff Karstens – Ha! Seriously. Ha! Here’s a rule of thumb for you, for those that like thumb rules: Pirates pitchers should not be picked up until they have shown they can pitch well for an entire year.

Nick Blackburn – His K rate is abysmal for the last month or so. I could list more reasons, but trust me, that’s reason enough to look away.

Aaron Cook – I told you I would warn you when I got out. Consider yourself warned, boyz!

Dave Bush – This is one Bush I will not have a hand in.