Josh Vitters and Brett Jackson were called up on Sunday. Here’s what I just said on Friday when I told you to pick Vitters up, “(He) comes with high expectations simply because Cubs fans are like a 104-year-old virgin who would just love to touch the playoffs’ boobies.Please, blog, may I have some more?
I had high apple pie in the sky hopes for David Robertson, but no one is safe. “There’s a storm a comin’! Jebediah, should I bring the cows into the barn?” “No, Gissley! It wants our closers!” “But I only have Juan Cruz!Please, blog, may I have some more?
I hate these stupid beyotchabatukises too. No love lost here! Though I’m not sure if that means you love someone or you hate them. I’m trying to think the last time I heard someone say no love lost and if they were saying it happily or angrily.Please, blog, may I have some more?
We finish off the infield with the top 20 3rd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball. The 2012 fantasy baseball rankings from shallowest to deepest go shortstops, third basemen, catchers, 2nd basemen then 1st basemen. That’s right, I think the catchers and 2nd basemen are deeper than the 3rd basemen.Please, blog, may I have some more?
This will be the last time I mention Logan Morrison for some time. Hashtag that. Not that I don’t like him, it’s just I’ve given him enough press, assuming the word ‘press’ still makes sense even though I’m dictating this post to a Montessori-taught monkey that I’ll occasionally catch looking at me like he wants to kill me and take over Razzball, which makes dictating that even more awkward.Please, blog, may I have some more?
Despite Ronnie’s warnings, I fell in love with the Jor-Z, sure. I still like him a lot. You can totally Control-Alt-Delete this opening in keeper leagues too. But — and this is a J. Lo-sized but — Jordan Zimmermann is going to be shut down in the next month.Please, blog, may I have some more?
So Grey lost his stache in a tragic sparkler related accident, but did manage to partially recover the remnants and is having them reattached as we speak, so I’m going to fill in for him on this sacred of holidays, July 5th.Please, blog, may I have some more?
With 4 homers for Kelly Johnson, there’s still the Kelly Ka-POW, see? With the 6 steals, he’s still running. If you extrapolate those numbers out, it’s a 20/20 season. If extrapolate is the right word. From radio, to the video, to Arsenio… Tell me!Please, blog, may I have some more?
Justin Verlander threw a no-hitter on Saturday, said the guy who doesn’t write a roundup on Sunday which makes Monday’s lead-in a little dated. BTW, I hear The Godfather is a good movie, you should check it out! And invest in Microsoft!Please, blog, may I have some more?
The man who looks like the man from Man Vs. Food’s father, Lance Berkman, is on a ginormous Kaiser roll. Speaking of pastry, it’s not a coincidence that Lance Berkman’s initials are LB. When he got to St. Louis, he asked the cabbie where the second arch is and why isn’t it painted gold.Please, blog, may I have some more?