Because I can’t have anything nice. That is the answer to why David Price left the game injured. For those of you worried about me, I’m gonna be okay. I have the love of a good cougar. Too bad she can’t pitch for my goddamn fantasy team! Why do you laugh at me, Fantasy Baseball Overlord? Fantasy Baseball Overlord, “Because you traded Machado for him and no man’s love will come before myself or Machado.” “I didn’t know. Is this a new fantasy commandment? All I saw was David Price’s K-rate was down last April too and he went on to win the Cy Young?!” “Are you interrogating me? The man who molded Billy Butler’s moobs with my own two hands.” Sorry, have I not serviced you correctly? Would you like a reach around? Do you have to rain frogs down on my team? Hello? Oh, I guess I lost him, stupid iPhone. And I lost David Price too. So, Price left because of triceps tightness. Hopefully after a DL stint, he’ll be back to his old dbnsjicns Oops, will cross my fingers when I’m done with the post. Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Please, blog, may I have some more?

Bay Area sports teams may want to throw out the mother dough.  It’s tainted.   Bartolo Colon was suspended for 50 days after being caught with elevated levels of testosterone.  This much testosterone hasn’t been found in one man since they pumped Rod Stewart’s stomach in the late-70’s.   Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?

And another rookie is called up.  It’s raining rookies that I will pick up for a few days and then drop if they don’t pan out in a matter of three days.  First, let’s see what our prospect writer, Scott, said just four days ago about Manny Machado, “Machado’s line on the year at Double-A isn’t pretty:  .266/.350/.431, 10 HR.  Please, blog, may I have some more?

Please, blog, may I have some more?