Last year, the Buy/Sell brought you such brilliant ideas as “Grady Sizemore is gonna bounce back big time!” and “I don’t believe a concussion can knock a player out for a full year… Can I get a Morneau?!”  Buy/Sell, “You know, I don’t point all of your crappy suggestions… Vernon Wells as a sleeper?  2003 called and said it wants its sleeper back.  You’re lucky I even returned this year.  A.J.

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We continue our 2012 fantasy baseball rankings with the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball.  There’s no 2nd baseman in the top 10 for 2012 fantasy baseball.  At least by my calculation.  Some ‘perts are putting Cano in the top 10, but I see him just outside of the top 10, but then again 2nd base is packed to the rafters with production.  It looks deeper than the 1st basemen pool and I’m only being half-facetious.  It’s like all 2nd basemen slept at a Holiday Inn last night.  There’s 15 guys I would take and if I had a middle infield spot on my roster, I’d definitely look to put a 2nd baseman in there.  As with the previous ranking lists, tiers and my projections are noted.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2012 fantasy baseball:

1.

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Top 20 catchers, 1st basemen and 2nd basemen for 2011 are in the books.  We continue around the horn (that means we’ll go back for the shortstops; don’t ask, I was getting fancy) bringing us to the top 20 3rd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball.   This year 3rd base gave most of you the gas face.  For the most part, you were lucky if you didn’t draft a top ranked one cause most of them bombed.  I mean, Emilio Bonifacio is a top five 3rd baseman?  That’s an eff in the coolie if I’ve ever heard one.  Zimmerman, Longoria, Wright?  Made you look smart in opposite world.  Also, to recap, this final ranking is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 3rd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1.

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We already went over the top 20 catchers and the top 20 1st basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball.  Today, it’s all about the top 20 2nd basemen.  The 2nd basemen pool was shallow, and, for the first time in as long as I can remember, the 2nd basemen, shortstops and 3rd basemen were more or less of equal depth.  For instance, Darwin Barney was ranked 20th for 2nd basemen and 19th for shortstops, and Daniel Murphy was ranked 15th for 2nd basemen and 16th for 3rd basemen.  To recap, this final ranking for last year is from ESPN Player Rater with my comments.  The Player Rater allows me to be impartial while looking at how I ranked them in the preseason.  Anyway, here’s the top 20 2nd basemen for 2011 fantasy baseball and how they compare to where I originally ranked them:

1.

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Daniel Murphy and Juan Nicasio are both out for the year – an undeserving fate that would merely be humane for the Astros (note: the Astros can go .500 for the final 48 games and they’d still lose 101 games – on the bright side, they have a magic number of 4 to best the 1962 Mets).  Murphy tore his MCL making that two season-ending leg injuries for Met 1Bs (Ike Davis fractured his ankle).  Hopefully Keith Hernandez doesn’t get a hip flexor applying Just for Men on his moustache.  While Murphy has yet to show much power in the majors, a .320 average with 1B/2B/3B eligibility provided value in just about any league.  Murphy’s MCL tear was a scrape compared to Nicasio who fractured a vertebrae in his neck after taking an Ian Desmond comebacker on the cabeza.   He’s still being monitored for internal bleeding as I type but hopefully he has a healthy recovery.

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Ed Wade’s Toupee has made it clear that he’s trying to move Hunter Pence in a trade.  Why would the Astros want to hold onto their best player?  He just gives his fans false hope.  False hope is worst than no hope.  See every movie John Singleton’s done since Boyz n the Hood for examples of what hope can do to you.  Awesome, the guy who did Boyz n the Hood is gonna remake Shaft.  No, not awesome.  Terrible.  Thanks a lot, false hope!  Speculation has Pence going to Atlanta, Philly or the Red Sox.  Speculation has me excited to own Pence.  Shoot, speculation sounds like salvation for Pence.  If Pence were a car, I’d put on him a bumper sticker, “Anywhere but Houston.”  His RBIs haven’t suffered as much as you might think considering where he is, but it can only get better.  And his runs, his lineup protection, potentially his ballpark.  I like it.  It’s a win-win-maybe win scenario.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kosuke Fukudome – The Indians acquired the Japanese OF to help fill the void left by Korean OF Shin-Soo Choo.  Hopefully Fukudome doesn’t get hurt or else they may bring in a Taiwanese Little Leaguer.

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Some rejected titles were, “Cards Have Jon Jay, Rasmus Have Blue Jays,” “Cards Trade Rasmus For Queen Elizabeth-Visaged Cents On the Dollar,” and “Ervin Santana Threw A No-Hitter, Beltran Was Traded — Hey, Baseball, Spread Some Of Your Breaking Stories Around.”  So Colby Rasmus was sent to the Blue Jays, Edwin Jackson was sent to the Cardinals via Chicago and a whole lot of other shizz.  Let’s start with Colby.  Hey, Geiger, let’s go (to Canada)!  Rasmus will move into center field, sending Rajai to the bench.  I’m sure Colby will be empathic.  “One day we will write a song together titled, “Centerfield” using John Fogerty’s lyrics and music then we will sue him for copyright infringement.”  That’s Colby meeting Rajai for the first time.  Last week, I was down on Rasmus, in the non-sexual way.  Sick of watching him sit on the bench while Pujols farted in his general direction.  Now, much like a fugitive from justice, Rasmus has a fresh start in Canada.  His value definitely goes from a negative to a positive, Biggie.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Edwin Jackson – Another guy that gets a fantasy boost with a trade.  Any time you’re going from the AL to the NL, I like it.  Does he suddenly become the meow’s cat?  I’m not entirely sure.  His NL ERA last year was 5.16, his AL ERA was 3.24.  All of his good years have come in the AL.  Yeah, he’s a riddle inside of a Sphinx testicle.  In deeper leagues or just mixed leagues where you need to gamble, I’d grab Jackson and hope Dave Duncan can do the voodoo that he do.

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Jack McKeon’s got a word for players like Hanley Ramirez — lollygaggers.  For 5 years, Hanley’s been riding the crest of natural ability.  As I’ve said before about Hanley and Manny, insouciance doesn’t age well.  Think about the hot girl who got all the guys in high school then lost her looks ten years later.  She never had to develop a personality and, now at age thirty, she’s screwing guys in the bathroom of some bar with sawdust on the floor and hoping they’ll adopt her two kids, Bob Jr.

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Matt Joyce a sell?  Now I will bite my lip and try not to sob.  Quiet, gentle sobs that Joyce used to assuage.  Joyce and I had something together that no one else can understand.  Well, maybe some of you that also own him can understand it, but the rest of you never will.  We shared moments that can only be explained by watching an Ecuadorian couple that has been married for 60 years sharing a mango on a park bench.  That’s what we had!  Picture, if you will, a giant mustache wrapped like a shawl around Matt Joyce’s shoulders.  We were that inseparable for about six weeks.  I own Joyce all over the place and he’s about the only hitter I have playing over his head.  Alas, playing over his head is the problem with Joyce, to DeWitt.  His BABIP is absurd; he’s a .270 hitter currently hitting .360.  He’s sandwiched between Votto and Miguel Cabrera on ESPN’s Player Rater.  That’s crazy.  I know I told everyone to grab him back in April, but he’s not this good.  Humble brag!  He’s never had more than 5 hits vs.

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Matt Holliday heads to the DL with a quadriceps injury.  C’mon, Mantle played with no knees for ten years!  Have a scotch and get in the lineup!  John Jay should see time while Holliday recoups.  Worth owning in 12 team leagues and could make a decent sub while Holliday’s out.  That’s not to say he could make a decent hoagie.  Different things.  Anyway, here’s what else I saw yesterday in fantasy baseball:

Kyle McClellan – Out for at least a couple of weeks with a hip flexor strain.  Or it’s hip to be strained, if you’re a kid of the 80′s.

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